It's not easy.

Wendy - posted on 02/28/2010 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Hi I am a 58 year old single woman and have been raising my grand daughter for the past seven years. She was born drug dependent so she wasn't an easy baby. She stayed in the hospital for the first month and then I took her home. I was a relative foster parent for awhile and then went for full custody. Because of her circumstances at birth I didn't know what problems she would ultimately have. Fortunately I am only dealing with ADHD. She is very smart, beautiful, and she sings like no tomorrow. I keep her very busy to burn some of the energy.

I lost my job in Sept. 2008 and have not worked since. I was in engineering. Since this time I have gone to school for Web Design and after 13 months I received a license to open a daycare. Now all I have to do is find kids for it. When I was working I gave my grandchild alot but we of course had to tighten our belts to survive this storm. I have many talents but with this job market my age is a problem.

I have encountered many problems raising her especially when it comes to my son and her mother. They waltz in her life every 2 years or so but I finally went to court and put an end to my part of supervising visits. They still had visits 2 1/2 years ago but at the YWCA and they never registered.

Through all this my grand daughter has remained relatively happy. She has her outside activities and me. I found a support group 4 or 5 years ago through Cornell Cooperative Extension. I now serve on some of their committees and am a mentor for new grandparents. (And they multiply every year!) It is also very good for the children as they find others in their situation. They all just seem to know. During the support group she attends 4H. I look forward to hearing from people in the same situation. I have alot to share.

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Cheryl - posted on 04/05/2010

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hello from down-under,

I have care of my grandson, James. Both his parents are drug addicts who have mental health issues and violence issues as well. I am coping very well with his care and even go so far as to say it's been a wonderful experience and looks like continuing in that vein. Luckily, James shows no signs of being affected by his mother's drug use during pregnancy. We love each other very much. At the moment, I'm in the process of gaining full custody of James. We have a long Journey to travel as he is only 16 months old and he has been in my care since he was 15 days old. On the down side my house is always messy but I don't mind as it's a James mess (toys etc) I feel very lucky that James has no problems as he has an older 1/2 sister that is autistic. Our numbers are on the rise with more and more drug use. That is something that James and I will have to start dealing with. developing good attitudes and trying to instill the ability to resist peer pressure and enjoy life to the full without drugs. That is going to be the hard bit and something we grandmothers should help each other with

Cheers

cheryl wakehame..xo

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