Introduction of myself, and my story

Stephanie - posted on 12/05/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )




Hi, my name is Stephanie and I am the mother of a beautiful little girl Karen. In the first short 15 months of having my daughter I have experienced the loss of 2 pregnancies. Both were unplanned and unexpected. My first was a miscarriage when my daughter was 7.5 months old. I was about 8 wks along when on the same day I found out I was pregnant, and that the baby was not alive. Fortunately I did not need to undergo a D&C as I was able to pass the baby on my own. To help prevent any additional pregnancies I started to take the mini pill Errin, as I was still breastfeeding.

Then when my daughter was 15 months old, I discovered I was pregnant again. I had switched over to Lutera about a month before. I took the steps I needed to take- call the dr's, had a blood test to confirm the pregnancy. We had complications. The first was that I was bleeding and was diagnosed threatened miscarriage. Second being that my progesterone levels were low, so I was placed on progesterone supplements. Due to taking the supplements, additional monitoring of the progesterone levels were required. My second blood draw indicated that while the levels were going up, they were not going up fast enough. I had a rough weekend of cramping and bleeding, and while inserting the pill- things just didn't feel right. I requested to be seen by a dr, and a sono was ordered as well. I had the sono done first and the technician did not like what she saw, and thought it was an ectopic pregnancy, but it did not look "normal." It turned out that after the dr's reviewed the sono, that I indeed have an ectopic pregnancy, and that I had a mass about 9cm in diameter. The dr was surprised that I was not in any pain, as most women would not be able to walk or talk normally.

I had surgery that night.

I lost more than half of my left tube, and based on pathology reports, I was less than a month along- an embryo had not formed yet. Additionally I had a cyst that had burst which had created a mass of blood clots.

I hadn't burst, but again based on the reports- I was close to bursting.

I struggle with the thought that I killed my baby, because I was trying to save it at first, and then finding out that if it wasn't removed- we both could have died.

I'm not sure when I will grieve my loss, as I had just started to grieve for my mc. Possibly I will grieve again when the baby would have been born- the same month as Karen,

I do not know of anyone who has gone through "exactly" what I've gone through- but I know that someone can relate. I do not know how difficult it will be to conceive- when we are ready to try, and I am scared that if we have another unexpected pregnancy while I'm on the pill what may happen. I wish none of this on anyone!

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