sex at 9!

[deleted account] ( 5 moms have responded )

we have been a home school family for 9 years now. my youngest is 9 (turning 10 in January). she went to play at a new friends house on saturday and came home bubbly and happy after a day of fun. the friend had a cousin who also came to play that day. the three girls played doctor and this is where i got goose bumps! the cousin was the doctor and my daughter was the patient. the first question asked was "so are you sexually active". my daughter is informed - we had the talk earlier this year as she had questions that could only be explained by telling all - so she was shocked and asked what the girl meant. the girl then asked her "have you had sex yet and if so with how many boys?"

i was horrified enough by this, but even more so when my daughter got ready for bed and i noticed a hicky on her arm. she says the other girl showed her how to do this and she 'practiced' on her own arm.

this kind of peer influence is one of the reasons we are home schooling. the girlfriend is someone my daughter knows through swimming class. she gets taken to all her activities by a nanny. when my daughter asked if i would call her mom i said she must just give my number to the mom. she said she cant because her friends mom does not have time for her daughter. i wass shocked and said that could not be true. at this point my two teens who go to the same class told me this was true!!! the nanny takes care of everything surrounding the girl.

what kind of world are we living in where a 9 year old can be discarded like this? how scary is it that 9 year olds are discussing their sexual status in such detail (other things were said)? what do you do in a case like this? phoning the mom is obviously going to be a waste of time and energy and will only lead to anger and frustration, but if a 9 year old is thinking sex sex sex then surely she needs a real adult to help her and guide her to make good choices?

have you had an experience like this? how did you handle it?


View replies by

Danie - posted on 02/22/2011




I realize that this is a very old post...but given the fact that this 9 year old girl knew way too much about sex...child protective services should have been called....

Alana - posted on 12/01/2010




We live in Canada but he had his first teaching year in a small town in North Carolina and my husband grew up in China were teachers are respected A LOT more. I do wish families would see the importance teachers have and teach it to their children. But this is a fallen world and we have to live with those choices but we can make a difference in the lives of our own children to show respect and decency to others around them.

[deleted account]

i limited my daughters contact with this girl to visits at my house only in the end becausse i wanted no further problems. i also talked to my daughter about it at length and made sure she was ok. my problem was solved this weekend when we learnt the family was moving FAR FAR away. but yes this was also one of the reasons we have been homeschoolong for 10 years. i have no regrets. i have three vvery level headed kids who know right from wrong and dont get into trouble (touch wood)... Alana, i dont know what country you are from but here is SA, teachers should be commened or commited to special places with green doors for even trying to take on this profession! i am qualified but you wont ever see me in a classroom in this country! not even in the private schools!

Alana - posted on 11/28/2010




WOW! That is one of the reasons we have made the decision to home school. Not that we have experience that with our kids yet as our kids are 3 and just starting preschool. But my husband is a high school teacher and he is frusterated almost every week with the lack of parent involvement his students have and the lack of respect the students show towards adults and peers.
I have to agree with Ashley though try to talk to the nanny cuz she might not know what is going on and may want to discourage this behavior and inviting her in to your home would be the safest so you can keep an ear and an eye open to what is going on so you can teach and discuss it with the family so she can listen in. Positive peer presure goes along ways at that young age.

Ashley - posted on 10/26/2009




try contacting the nanny if that doesnt help then try onviting the little girl to ur house show her waht a family is

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