New to Homeschooling NEEEEED advice

Jennifer - posted on 08/14/2009 ( 17 moms have responded )

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Hello. My name is Jennifer. My husband Bobby and I are DETERMINED to homeschool our son Rion (pernouced Ryan). We have several family members who are completely negative and do not want to support us. Rion is only 2 years 6.5months old so I know I have a little while before he is eligible to start school. However we are looking into it all now because we know there is a sea of information and tons of options availiable.

We live in South Carolina. We are a family of 3 (Mom, Dad, and Rion) and are currently planning the 4th. Bobby will be deploying back to Iraq in May of 2010 and will be gone for 365 days. We are looking for advice as to "what" homeschool mom and dads are finding to work for their families. We are trying to figure out what or how you deal with the famous question of "socialization." We do have Rion involved in The Little Gym, which is a development/gymanastic type classes. We are involved with our YMCA (not as much as we would like to be right now). Our son is very "sociable" in our eyes. He never meets a stranger and can draw the attention of just about anyone everywhere we go. He is a very bright child. He can count to 13 on his own and higher w/ help, says his abc's, can pick out most of the letters when randomly asked, he is learning how to read and can currently read 3 words (Down, Up, Rion). He knows all his colors and about 5 or 6 shapes. He talks in sentences and a good bit of the time he's "grammatically" correct and he is potty trained (except at night). He is an "explorer." He is always on the go looking for something new to discover. He loves to travel and see new things. Bobby and I can NOT see putting him in a "classroom" for 6-8hrs a day to be taught to sit down and be still and not talk or express himself.

How do we get our family to see where we come from? We need the support of our family to make this work. How do we get them to see that "school" is NOT always a good source of socializing and that it is not the only place he will get the "skill" of learning how to socialize? What type of curriculum or approach do YOU find best for your family? I am having a hard time deciding which will work best for Ri. Where can I find the curriculum online or at curriculum fairs? How do I find out where there is going to be a fair near by? Plz if you have any advice for our family, we would greatly appreciate it.



Thank you for your time,

Jenn, Bobby and Rion Gordon

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

[deleted account]

Well you have been homeschooling for 2 years 6.5months, lol. Homeschooling is just an extension on raising your children. I have family who also do not support what I do. For me I have told them that I don't need their support, advice, harassment, or negativity; however I am willing to answer question that they may have. I told them that I will not allow my children to be around their negative remarks or comments about them being homeschooled or unsocialized. Because of my family we do not even bring up the issue of homeschooling because I was tired of all the hateful, mean, negative comments that I don't allow anyone to ask about our homeschooling. But I would suggest you finding out what exactly their fears are and ask them what the specifics of their fears are. Using socialization as an example; is their fear that the child will not learn how to tease other, how to compete for better or worse grades, how to be rude or other negative behaviors, or is the fear that the child will not know how to interact with children. If it is the latter then let them know that there are plenty activities for homeschoolers to participate in, there are other ways of getting socilization besides being in school with other children. Socialization can be learned from adults, strangers, play mates, family and other sources. Also, school is not supposed to be a social event. Kids are not supposed to be talking during class or worried about making friends when they are there to learn. I would do a google search for articles on what their specific fears are and let them read them and discuss it with them.

For curriculum my family uses a Charlotte Mason approach mixed with a classical style. We read and narrate most everything. We live in Texas and don't have any regulations so we are able to study what we want and when. I would start with reading to him as much as possible and have him tell you or daddy or grandma or someone what you read to him or have him draw a picture about the story. That is the most important thing to me. Until my kids are about 10yrs old we only do that and add in math, phonics and practice writing.
There are many great yahoo groups online that are wonderful. I would search for groups in your area and meet other homeschooling moms in your area.

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Traci-Lynn - posted on 02/15/2010

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In regards to your family, I would stress how home schooling would offer your family flexibility regarding your husbands placements. When he is home, Rion will be able to lighten up on his load and spend more time with Dad and buckle down when Dad is away. This will provide more time for them to be together given when given the opportunity. Since most home school children are ahead of their peers in acedemics, you won't feel guilty cutting down to basics when Dad is around.
We love Story of the World for social studies. My children (ages 4,6,8,10) beg me to do it each day. It is a great multi level program. I have also found that Math-U-See is a great beginer program and really develops the foundementals. For language Arts we use a variety of programs and the local library is a great resource for readers. Konos is another integrated program that is multi-level and interesting.

Socialization is pretty bogus. Brick adn mortar schools offer a falsse socialization. It is completely age segregated and a controlled environment. My children socialize with other children through swimming, soccer, etc. as well as play dates and co-ops for school (Konos is agreat program to build a co-op around). They also volunteer regularly at the retirement home in town and know almost all of our neighbours from being in the neighbourhood regularly.
See if your area has a homeschool support group and you will do very well.
Enjoy.

User - posted on 01/05/2010

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I like the Charlotte Mason method too. And at your son's age it's a perfect time to start reading up on what she has written and the other resources on-line. I like "The Charlotte Mason Companion" by Karen Andreola. Something that might help you steele yourself against comments from family is "When Children Love to Learn" by Elaine Cooper. I like Charlotte Mason's recommendations for preschoolers also. Explore the outdoors is probably the biggest recommendation for children under 6. There is Ambleside Online, Simply Charlotte Mason and Secular CM. I also gleaned book recommendations from Tanglewood and a few others.

It's a little bit hard to tell what method will work best with your child at 2 years old, but you have plenty of time to find out what works for your family.

Oh and socialization is a myth. After you have been homeschooling a while you will laugh at the question. I love that my kids play with all ages. We get out a couple of times a week and it's enough. Just googling that and homeschooling will yield some terrific articles about it.

I'd say the hardest part about homeschooling for me was not caring what anyone else thinks. =)

Cori
HTH

Michelle - posted on 11/25/2009

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When I run into people who frown on homeschool I give them this statement: Who taught my child to walk- Me who taught him to talk -Me who taught them to share -their brother, their abc's number colors ect - of course I did You sons is already doing the things that is required to graduate from Pre-K I think at the age he is now you are doing the right thing already. As he gets older and you learn his learning style you will be able to decide what school system works for you.

[deleted account]

We're in our 3rd yr of homeschooling (1st grade) and socialization is the 1 thing I worry about too. I'm torn, on one hand, I try to involve my kids with other kids their age as much as possible, but on the other hand, I want to protect them from influences that my husband and I don't approve of. For example, my son has a little friend that lives across the street. He's a yr older (7), but diagnosed as "mildly retarded", he seems to act like a 4 yr old, so, my kids prefer to talk and play with his older brother who is 10. The other day, though, this older boy found an opportunity to tell my kids that there is no Santa, no Easter bunny, AND told her the story of bloody Mary! Childhood is so precious and goes by so fast, I want to keep them innocent for as long as I can.

[deleted account]

Some good books for you to read :)
Home Schooling: The Right Choice by: Christopher Klicka
The Successful Homeschool Family Handbook by: Raymond and Dorothy Moore
Better Late Than Early also by the Moores

[deleted account]

I will never understand why the number 1 negative response to homeschooling is: But what about socialization!?"
Public school tells our children when to socialize, who to socialize with and how to do it. Example: A group of 10 year olds can only socialize during recess or lunch. They are put into classes with only 10 and 11 year olds. That is not socialization if they are only with 1 group of children who are just like them in many ways.

My daughter is 5 and we started homeschooling kindergarten this year. She is a social butterfly...with girls of all ages at her dance classes, with her family and just by meeting people at the grocery store!

A good book I used when my motherinlaw raised concerns about homeschooling:
"The First Year of Homeschooling Your Child" by Linda Dobson

Kelly - posted on 10/03/2009

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Both my husband's family and my family were totally against h/s when our first was 2 1/2 years old. However, he is 11 now, and he has four little sisters and another sib on the way. They're all homeschooled and none of them are weird or ignorant, and I notice that both sides of the family have stopped freaking out. You'll probably have to just 'smile and nod' for several years before they finally give up on you. There will come a point where they will either see the wisdom of your decision or write you off as a complete loony. Either way, they'll eventually stop giving you grief. Smile, nod and pray. Also, some people may find your decision threatening because you're not following in their footsteps. Stay away from running down awayschools. In fact, you don't even have to defend your decision to them. Smile. Nod. Repeat. It's no fun nagging someone you can't get a rise out of!

Stephanie - posted on 09/12/2009

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I think it is great that you homeschool. I never thought that I would homeschool. Until I went to register my oldest daughter three years ago in a public school. The teachers did not care, they were tired and so bored. I did not see any inspiration.

That is when we decided to homeschool our children. We are so happy we homeschool all of our children.

Our children are all outgoing, so the whole socialization question is absurd.



Good job.

Molly - posted on 09/12/2009

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Hold strong. Other people always have well intended ideas about how to best rise a child. but you dont NEED them to understand as long as it is working for you guys.



as far as curriculum goes does SC have a state run homeschool program? even if you don't use them it's a good idea to go talk to them. get the what if's for legal issues as well as then can point you in a good direction as far as curriculums go. :)



I also felt the book : the first year of homeschooling your child

http://www.amazon.com/First-Year-Homesch...



not only gave good ideas for all the WAYS to go about homeschooling but also made me firm in my choice to do so and how to exsplain it to others.

[deleted account]

Jennifer, I can't say enough good things about www.ToddlerPreschool.com. We are just now starting 1st grade (I have B/G twins) and we are enrolled in Connections Academy. We were so happy with Kindergarten at CA.



We still have people/family that don't understand our decision and their comments even make me question the decision we made to homeschool when our kids were just babies. Reading the comments other mom's have made makes me feel more sure of our decision. It seems like we're all worried that we're doing the right thing, but that's just part of being a parent.

Jennifer - posted on 08/22/2009

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yes, plz let us know how this works for you...we are trying to figure out the best curriculum for our family and like to look at as many options as we can...

Jennifer - posted on 08/22/2009

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thanx all for your comments...we are definately going to try to homeschool..we just have to figure out "what" curriculum..

[deleted account]

I'm not familiar with the laws surrounding homeschooling in the States (I'm from Canada), but I can tell you that the socializing aspect is a total CROCK.

Children learn their best socialization skills from their parents. It's in the school system that they pick up their bad habits! If you and your husband are well socialized people, then your children will be as well.

When we first started researching homeschool options, the first thing I read was that socialization is the least of your worries if you decide to school at home. Sending a child to school does NOT insure proper social development. A loving home environment is the BEST socializer a young child can possibly have. A child will learn proper socialization by watching and mirroring. Do you want your children to model after you and your husband, or their peers at school? After teachers at school, or teachers at home?

My husband and I decided we would homeschool even before we had children. Now our oldest is 4.5, and is starting next month. Many people ask me what school she's going to, and I matter-of-factly state that she's being homeschooled. Many people have a really bad understanding of what homeschool is really all about. There are a plethora of support groups out there, tutors if you need help, etc, etc, etc.

If you and your hubby feel that homeschooling is the best way to go, then just do it. It's about what you, as a family, feel is right. You can't base this decision on what extended family members think. Just tell them your reasons why, and be done with it. They'll get used to it eventually.

Check online for more resources. Go to Google.com, and search South Carolina homeschoolng. There's TONS of sites that pop up, with a lot of information.

Good luck!

Kristina - posted on 08/19/2009

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Not sure if this would help or not, but My son is 5yrs old and he will be doing homeschooling from Connections Academy. It is however still considered a public school, but done from home. They send you a computer, and all the books for the child and books for the parent showing all how to help your child threw each subject. Not exactly sure how it will go because he doesn't start till Aug. 24, 09, so if you would like I could keep you updated as we go along. I think homeschool is a great choice and hope your family comes around. I know how it is not having the support of your family in your decision, mine is the same way. Some of my family thinks that he will get behind because I am homeschooling. What I like about Connections Acadmy is is that it is 2 1/2 hrs a day for Kindergarten and it can be broken up threw out the day. Also he can go at his own pace and not have to worry about the teacher moving ahead and him not understanding what is being taught.



Good Luck

Tamra - posted on 08/18/2009

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You might check out some pre-school curriculum and just SHOW them how well he does. We are using "My Father's World" curriculum; they have a very nice pre-school program - a tract for 2s and 3s & a tract 3s and 4s. And in the end, you may have to just do what you need to do.

Anna - posted on 08/14/2009

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Home School Legal Defense Ass. had a great article in their email this week about a study showing the merits of home schooling. I'd recomend searching their site...hslda.com for more info and sign up for emails. (This week the home school heartbeat is about learning styles...watch him to learn how he learns...The Way They Learn would be the book I'd start with [and I already posted a couple of places the Abeka Phonics I start out with...its solid and thorough but you can make anything work]



As far as I'm concerned children learn better socialization skills from adults, we try to go to church type fellowship [and I believe children learn form what we train them to do... they stay with us the whole service because thats where I want them when they are teens and adults]... other than that I don't worry about it:)



Anna

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