10 Stupid Things You Never Want to Say to a Pregnant Mama

Ez - posted on 11/01/2010 ( 69 moms have responded )

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10. After mom has her baby, “You look like you have another one in there.”



9. “You ready to pop yet?” No, but I might pop you!



8. “You are crazy/brave. Just wait. You’ll want the epidural.”



7. “When are they going to induce? When are you due? They are going to let you go that far?” People, babies need to birth when they are ready! Leave them alone already!



6. Implying mom is too big or too small with comments like “Wow, you are really giving up your body, huh?” or “You don’t even look pregnant.”



5. Mentioning anything to do with population control, because you are proving we might as well begin with you.



4. Anything about babies dying. Really?!? Way to be positive.



3. “Don’t you know how THAT happens?” or “Have you ever heard of birth control?” Idiots.



2. “You guys are like rabbits.” Jealous much?



1. And the number one thing to never say to a pregnant mama is “Are you sure there aren’t twins in there?” Automatic fail!



http://birthwithoutfearblog.com/2010/11/...



Someone said most of these to me at various points in my pregnancy, but the overwhelming leader for me was number 1. It happened almost every single day of my pregnancy (and if you've seen my belly pic in the photos section you'll know why lol). Number 8 was an issue at times too (which I proved wrong.. HA!).



What about you guys? Any other contenders?

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Dana - posted on 11/03/2010

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Kate and Kylie, I got the " You don't look pregnant from behind", meaning my whole belly was in front, not on the sides. Of course only having half a uterus and it being on the right side, I had an oddly shaped belly to begin with!

Jennifer - posted on 11/02/2010

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i was a cashier in a grocery store while preggo so i got all sorts of nasty comments. we had to wear a very unflattering apron as part of our uniform and most of my pregnancy i just looked fat. one woman said to me "are you pregnant? you must be, your face is so much rounder than it used to be."



the one i hated the most was when parents would say "are you sure you want to deal with this?" as they cast sideways glances at their own kids running amok, knocking things off shelves, and crying for candy. i just wanted to tell them to go away. just because you let your kids walk all over you doesn't mean i'll let mine do the same.

Bonnie - posted on 11/02/2010

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I had gotten most of the comments pointed out. The one I truly hate the most as it drives insane even when I hear it now is, "You are done right? Two is enough. You DON'T NEED anymore. Ugh....how about my husband and I decide how many children we would like to have.

April - posted on 11/02/2010

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i didn't really get any of those questions. A lot of people did tell me oh you'll definitely want the epidural. I was planning a natural birth...i knew i didn't want an epi. how do you know what i want??

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Chrystal - posted on 11/05/2010

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Yeah it used to drive me nuts when people would say you don't even look pregnant b/c I wanted the whole world to know I was pregnant. I was so excited!!

Ez - posted on 11/04/2010

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I know!!! And I can cope with that now lol. But at 40+weeks... not so much!

Ez - posted on 11/04/2010

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April I also had people tell me I was the biggest pregnant lady they'd ever seen. It didn't send me into a spiral of despair. It just started pissing me off. Did they think I wasn't aware of how big my belly was? LOL I was the one carrying it around all day!!

Carol, I went to 41+4 so I hear ya!!

Johnny - posted on 11/04/2010

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Ah yes, going over due date. I can't tell you how many people told me I had to get induced at 41 weeks or my baby could die. Ummm... I think that the midwife might be on top of that issue? I guess that is a little bit of #4.

April - posted on 11/04/2010

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i told my friend that she was the biggest pregnant person i've ever seen in my life. i didn't know her when she was preggo, but she showed me pictures and i was like damn! seriously, she was as big as Kate Gosselin who had 6 babies at once and my friend had only one!!! i wonder if it bugs you the same if it's after you're done being pregnant? Would you have been offended if i said that to you long after you gave birth? ( her daughter is 16 mo.)

Amanda - posted on 11/04/2010

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"Wow you are SO big" - This came from one of my husband's friends girlfriend (follow?) who is a stick! I wanted to punch her in her face!!!!

"

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In my last few days of work before I went on maternity leave I got quite a few parents at work coming up to me saying "Oh, you're going on maternity leave? I didn't even realise you were pregnant!" I was 7 almost 8 months pregnant. Thanks guys. I take it you just thought I was fat! Nice.

Jane - posted on 11/03/2010

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When a mom says she won't do something and is adamant about it and you say "You'll see!". I HATED that when I was pregnant with my first. I was very adamant about never letting a child sleep in my bed but when I was pregnant with my first (now 20), I got so many "you'll see's" that I wanted to just explode. And ya know what? I didn't see...my kids NEVER slept in my bed!

Maria - posted on 11/03/2010

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Some people just look at me and say "God, you're huge!" NICE ;)



People are always saying you look ready to go any day now, and when I say NO, 6-7 more weeks

"What are you having twins?" I say "yes" Now the million questions start.

What's my due date, do I know the sex, how many kids do I have? How old? Do I have room for them at home? How big are they? Are you working? Are you going to keep working?



I am more than my belly. I have many diverse interests, can't someone just ask me about the weather?

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Oh I don't have a picture, it never occured to me, now when I think back I cannot remember what I looked like. I'm going to make sure I document this bump!

Jenni - posted on 11/03/2010

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I think I've had nearly all of those said to me! Let's see 10, 9, 7, 6, 4, and 1... ok well most.

Here's some to add... not sure if anyone else mentioned them, haven't read the responses yet...

I went to 42 weeks with both my pregnancies so here are the ones I loved hearing....

"You're still pregnant!!!!!" -Nothing gets past you

"Have you had the baby yet?" -Yeah, I just forgot to call you and let you know but I'm sure you'll be the first to know since you call me twice a day to ask.

"You know sex helps to induce labour!" Why do you get so excited telling me that? "You should masturbate!" -- what are you wearing?

This also includes suggesting all other methods of inducing labour... that after going past my due date twice... I am WELL AWARE OF! Thank you very much but I really don't need your help with this.

Also, you'd think she knew better... but near the end of my pregnancy one of the nurses at my OBGYN would always say to me "You are so DARN CUTE! Your so short and that belly is so HUGE! How do you manage without tiping over?" -Just give me a nudge.

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Trust me, you could tell I was pregnant from ALL angles. I should post a pic.....we should all post a pic!

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Carol everyone thought I was having a girl for some reason, I think it was optimism. My MIL pissed me off because she told me that I had to have a girl so it would balance out her numbers at the time she had 4 grand-daughters and 5 grandsons. I know it's kind of spiteful but after hearing THAT comment more than 10 times I really hoped it was a boy and she made me want a boy even more when she told me that if it was a boy I could send it back up WTF why would you say something like that to a women who was pregnant after being told she couldn't have children?!?! I was secretly happy when Ethan was a boy oh well you don't balance now tough luck!

[deleted account]

Ugh well being a teen pregnant person, I got the usual..

"Babies are having babies."
"You ARE going to give the baby away am I correct?"
"You will NOT be able to handle the responsibility."

Blah blah. Lol. Then after I had her I actually had a lady ask me when I was due. OUCH! (I had a cry after that actually. Lol.)

And my all time favorite:
"Are you having a baby?!" No idiot I am having a tree.

Lol.

Johnny - posted on 11/02/2010

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LOL Jodi.

The one that drove me nuts was everyone constantly telling me to be prepared for a boy. Not one person throughout my entire pregnancy thought that I was having a girl, and when I'd tell them that I didn't know the gender, they'd say, "well be prepared for your little boy". Man, were they all surprised as heck when I showed up with a little girl. I won my office pool, every single other person picked boy. $150 bought some really nice pink outfits.

Jodi - posted on 11/02/2010

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I have one to add to the list:

11. Quacking like a duck when walking behind a pregnant woman.

My sister did this to me the other day...because of the pregnancy waddle...

Kylie - posted on 11/02/2010

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hahaha yeah thats a good point Kate.. i think it's all in the ankles and the waddle walk.

Kylie - posted on 11/02/2010

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The day before Jack was born a pregnant woman and her mum both laughed at me and said they didn't think i would be having my baby anytime soon when i said i was due tomorrow. I felt huge but they didn't seem to think i was big enough. Weirdos.
I got told by a lot of people "you dont even look pregnant from behind!" I didn't mind that one so much.

Charlie - posted on 11/02/2010

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" ARE YOU STILL PREGNANT "

YES, ffs !
I am still pregnant since you asked yesterday .

Isobel - posted on 11/02/2010

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thin skinned...the lot a ya lol...none of these bugged me (except maybe the first one...that one hurt a little)

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About six months after I had the baby I still had a little pooch. I had the nursing weight and I tend to carry weight in my belly. I'd been going to a class at the gym with this lady for a few months now and one day she asked me when the baby was due. I said, "Six months ago, she's in the nursery." Thanks lady.

Most people tell me I haven't gained enough weight. The baby is growing and healthy as far as we can tell, so I'm not concerned.

And when I tell people we aren't going to find out they ask, "how are you going to prepare?" Boys and girls need different gear and care? Since when? I have a crib, car seat, and boobs. I'm good to go, thanks. Plus I've bought a few little boy outfits when I see something on sale. I'll either donate them or use them as baby gifts if I happen to have another girl. He can wear Eliza's green and yellow sleepers, who cares?

Jodi - posted on 11/02/2010

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LMBO,I get number 1 ALLLL the time...probably has something to do with the twins in there though! lol ;)
I also get comments about eating for two and how the babies don't need "that" much...my portions are MUCH smaller than what other people take! I also have gotten comments about how I shouldn't be packing on so much weight I'm packing on and how it's not healthy for the babies (I've only LOST weight so far!), that's usually before they find out it's twins though!
People have no filter when it comes to pregnant women!!!!

Kayle - posted on 11/02/2010

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When I told my ex-boss that I was pregnant she said " Arn't you going to get an abortion or give it up since your not married?"

I was pissed and should have gone to the big boss about it but had only started the job a month or so before this and was afraid to.

Me and my fiance have been together for nearly 3 years and had been best friends since we we're 13.

But karma has it's way of coming around her and her husband never wanted kids and she is expecting any day now.

I really wanted to go up to her when I first found out and say "Are you sure you want to keep it? I mean you never really wanted kids." But unlike her I could never be that mean.

Rosie - posted on 11/02/2010

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but toni, it drives US batty when we don't know what our friends/ family are having, lol!!
i get it, i really do, but i get why other people want to know.

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I didn't get any rude comments while I was pregnant but EVERYONE kept telling me I was having a boy. It pissed me off because I wanted a girl and I KNEW I was having a girl. It was confirmed with an ultrasound, FINALLY, at 31 weeks.

Lucy - posted on 11/02/2010

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I had two great ones!
When I was 9 months pregnant with my first baby, and just about to go on maternity leave, I had brought in a big tin of choccies for my year 11 tutor group (They were 15/16) and was being given cards by some of the pupils with good luck, see you soon etc, on them, when one boy said "Oh, are you leaving, miss?" I replied with "Of course, but don't worry, I'll be back!" so he said (I kid you not) "Well, why are you leaving then, miss?" At which point I pointed to my ENORMOUS baby bump and another lad said, making excellent use of our rich language "She's pregnant you knob!" To which he replied "Oh, really? I thought you were just getting really fat". You can always trust a teenage boy to make you feel great about yourself!

The second was when I told my head of department that I was pregnant with our second child. I was still suffering with pretty bad PND and my daughter was only 7 months old, so I was feeling conflicted about the surprise pregnancy and looking for a bit of support and sensitivity, which was clearly somewhat optimistic. His exact words were "Bloody hell, you guys must be at it like rabbits! I thought you didn't feel like shagging when you were depressed." Helpful.

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Yep Ashley that's what I told them, when you are pregnant you can find out but I like not knowing, I like the suprise at the end. It's like a little extra gift looking down and being the first to know your baby is a boy! I don't blame you finding out I had the pregnancy as my nice suprise, my nan died a week before we found out (I thought my morning sickness was because of that - oops).

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Toni i got grief for finding out just 3weeks before i had my baby it was a girl..cheered me right up i tell you after finding out some upsetting news which turned out to be just fine in the end.I dont care if you want to know if you dont its a very personal decision made by the parents.No body else should be butting in on us for our decisions :-)

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Oh I hate the do you know what you're having question, I always answered yes a baby! We got grief for not finding out the sex of our son as I'm sure we will get grief for not finding out the sex of the next baby, the truth is the sex is just not that important to me I can wait to find out, I think it adds something lovely to labour to find out whether the baby is a girl or a boy.

Katherine - posted on 11/02/2010

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After I had my second my stomach still hadn't contracted after about 2 months. I had people asking me when I was expecting. I thought I was going to punch someone. I have NEVER asked that unless I KNOW for certain. I have never been so embarrassed, felt so degraded......ugh it was so bad for a while. My stomach still isn't flat and I get really constipated, so it gets distended and I look prego. So sometimes I still get asked. (I know TMI). I finally told this one woman I hadn't crapped in a week LOL.

Dana - posted on 11/02/2010

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I never got any rude comments at all but, I do agree with Sara. The comments about not knowing what you're in for. Luckily I happen to view having a child in a positive light instead of a death sentence...

[deleted account]

I always hated hearing I was too small for being so far along. Do people not realize that it perfectly healthy to only gain 25 pounds. I'm 5'2" and normally weigh between 120 and 130 pounds, I usually only heard this from women who gained a lot during their pregnancy.
It also bugged me when people said "Now remember your eating for two."

Sara - posted on 11/02/2010

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Mostly, I just hated the condescending comments from other parents that indicated I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

Cyndel - posted on 11/02/2010

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What so anoyed me was when people looked at me like I was nuts (a few even got mad mostly family) when we chose not to find out the sex with my son or my current pregnancy.
Also when people denied it every time when I said I was planning on five children saying that after I had my son I would stop there or choose to have one more. but after labor I would never go through that four more times.
within hours of having my son I was thinking of having more children with no fear or dread. if fact I dread the first week of nursing more then the labor and delivery with this pregnancy. And yes we still are planning on three more pregnancies after this.

Rosie - posted on 11/02/2010

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i've had pretty much all of them said to me, except for talking about babies dying. thats just fucked. the other ones i don't mind, and i guess i don't understand why others mind-except for #10. that one happened to me and i was about ready to punch the bitch, too bad it was my hubbys grandma. instead i just went and bawled in another room.
things about twins, well yeah, i was huge, why not ask if i'm having twins, only seems natural to me.
are you ready to pop? i don't find that offensive either. of course i was ready to pop, they are just trying to start conversation, and they know women like to talk about babies and pregnancy when pregnant, so there you go. and the epidural one, i think people are just more concerned with people being in pain, and want to make sure people are comfortable.
i don't know, i think people are sometimes to touchy these days. if people aren't trying to be mean, i don't see the harm.

Bonnie - posted on 11/02/2010

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Laura, that's crazy! As if they ask you what you are going to do with a 3rd boy?? I have 2 boys as well, ages 2 and 4 and I don't know how many times I have had people say to me, "You are not going to have any more, right...you don't want to end up with another boy? Some people really don't think before they talk.

Laura - posted on 11/02/2010

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I am 25 weeks and get "your not even very big" sorry I'm 5'9" and carry my weight better but you try putting 25 lbs on your stomach and tell me you don't feel very big.

I also have 2 and 4 yr old boys and am having another boy and people ask me what I'm going to do with a 3rd boy...really? I'm going to love him and raise him just like I am with my first two.

Tara - posted on 11/02/2010

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my favourite one was "are you sure there aren't twins in there?" to which I learned to reply --- "It's actually a litter of puppies".
:)

Jenn - posted on 11/02/2010

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I got comments on how huge I was and it pissed me off! Then when I was pregnant the second time people started with the twin comments again - only that time I found out it WAS twins!!!!! LOL!!

[deleted account]

I got some #9 from friends I didn't see often, a #4 but it was a friend of mine who miscarried at 25 weeks so I kinda HAD to know (although I was the last person she told...I found out after she had already gone home from the hospital), and I also got some #1. My husband has lost about 40 pounds since February but when I was pregnant he had this belly. People used to comment that we were pregnant with twins...me with one and he with the other lol The only comment I ever got during pregnancy was someone (a friend I hadn't seen in a long time but who still thought she "knew" me) said "Oh Joy, I know you, you're DEFINITELY gonna ask for the drugs. You'll be screaming epidural with the first little contraction." Proved her wrong and went completely drug free :)

Mary - posted on 11/02/2010

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I'm like Krista - I really didn't get much in the way of offensive or annoying comments. I did deal with a fair amount of "abuse" from friends and family over not finding out the gender beforehand, and a LOT of grief about either getting rid of my dogs (well, just the pit bull) and "knowning" lectures about how the dogs would cease to matter to me once the baby was born.

I am pleased to say that the doggy naysayers were wrong. I still love my boys, and my daughter adores them as much as I do. If my dogs could talk, I think they would berate me for not having a baby sooner; if anything their life has improved dramatically. They are showered with affection and attention, they now get table food from their little accomplice, and by 12 months, she was saying "Walk the puppies!", and pulling their leash out. It has been a mutually beneficial lovefest all around!

Jodi - posted on 11/02/2010

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I find that interesting Kate, because my midwife and doctor never asked me once.....They just assumed I was going all natural unless I said otherwise. With both my kids. Or maybe they kind of did, but I was so determined to go natural that I didn't notice?

Kate CP - posted on 11/02/2010

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Number 8 CONSTANTLY. Even from nurses and doctors. I just roll my eyes and say "I did it once already AND I had pitocin." That usually shuts them up. :P

Krista - posted on 11/02/2010

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I honestly didn't get much in the way of rude comments. Most everybody was really nice. When I posted pictures of myself two weeks before my due date, my friend Anthony said, "Krista, I thought you were pregnant -- you look so slim!"

Gay men give the BEST compliments, don't they? :)

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