5 Non-Behavioral Traits of the SAHM LOL

Katherine - posted on 02/22/2011 ( 14 moms have responded )

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Re-Posted from cafemom

There are a lot of preconceived notions about at-home moms.

Well, okay, there are a lot of preconceived notions about all kinds of people, because that's actually how we function as social creatures: by making guesses about people based on small amounts of information.

But I'm here to tell you where some of those notions are wrong, at least with regards to at-home-mom-dom in my world:

I always know what day it is. Maybe this is because I work from home five days a week, maybe it's because I can't imagine a world where the weekend holds no appeal, but I can always tell you exactly how far away Saturday morning is. Right now: way too goddamned far.

I'd rather eat a bag of dicks than watch daytime TV. Now, don't get me wrong, this isn't because I'm some kind of elitist when it comes to media consumption. Ha ha ha ha NO. I mean, I routinely watch American Idol. And, um, Campus PD. But daytime television is filled with talk shows, which all sound exactly the same to me: like that terrifying juice infomercial that increasingly haunts the woman in Requiem for a Dream. "Juice by Sarah, juice by Sarah, ohhhhhhh Sarah!" GAH. Also, if I turned on the TV, it would attract the children. I'm trying to hide from the children, for god's sake. Shhhhhh.

I do care if I look like shit. I admit I spend a good part of my day slothing around in yoga pants, but if I leave the house, I put on something with an actual waistband, FOR THE GOOD OF MANKIND. I shower every day. I wear makeup. I get a ridiculous manicure every now and then. I certainly don't feel as fancy these days as when I worked in an office and regularly sported dresses and heels, but ever since the day I visibly terrified the FedEx delivery guy, I aim for a minimum personal hygiene level of "Does Not Appear to Have Insects Crawling Through Hair."

I don't love play dates. I'm dying for adult company, but let's be honest: a play date is a piss-poor version thereof. It's better than not seeing my mom friends at all, but god, I hate how I always look forward to seeing someone who I haven't seen for months, I have all these things I want to talk about, and then we sit around for two hours talking to our damn kids. We referee, hand out snacks, deal with potty emergencies, soothe boo-boos, and eventually we distractedly pack up our crying offspring and tell each other we should do it again soon. Wheeee.

I make myself a real lunch. I used to eat leftover PB&J rinds over the sink while simultaneously refilling sippy cups, then I was like, what the fuck, self. Here's how I handle lunches now: I feed the kids first, then I turn on Curious George. While they sit saucer-eyed in front of PBS, I enjoy a nice chicken salad with dried cranberries and avocado. I'd feel bad about the whole TV-as-babysitter thing if it wasn't so AWESOME.

How about you, where do you ooze outside of the Mom-mold (whether you stay home or not)?


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Stifler's - posted on 02/23/2011

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Jess just has a swing set and this plastic cubby thing and they all play and we watch or they have a "picnic" under the tree of fairybread and muffins it's much more relaxing than having them all painting and stuff.

[deleted account]

yea....my kid din't learn what a "craft" was until he started kindy this year :P
I let him cut paper up and glue stuff, but not with other kids around--that's just a disaster waiting to happen! And games, we save those for special occasions like birthdays.....although I must admit I've never done a game at any of J's 6 birthday parties :P

Stifler's - posted on 02/23/2011

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Haha Kelly that's what my playgroup is like too. We eat and drink and watch the kids play in the yard. Organised activities pffft.

Bonnie - posted on 02/23/2011

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I agree Katherine. Looking through the weekly flyers, making my shopping list, and going to do the grocery shopping is the highlight of my week LOL.

Katherine - posted on 02/23/2011

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I put make-up on to go grocery shopping. Hey it's my night out!

Jenni - posted on 02/23/2011

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mmmm pb&j rinds. You know what's the best? any food that only takes 30 seconds in the microwave! Probably why I am still wearing my maternity clothes. :P
And I'm on my husband's schedule.. he works odd shifts so I do tend to forget what day of the week it is. I had a calender but my son wanted to see the pictures and kept ripping it off the wall.
PBS was cool until I discovered Disney Movies. I admit in the winter time I let him watch CARS once a day in the afternoon. Guilty.
I cannot stand daytime tv! So I come on COM periodically for 5 or 10 mins to maintain my adult vocabulary. I found my adult conversations were becoming limited to one syllabal words and sentences 3-5 words long. And if I hear one more time "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER" I think I will suffer a brain injury.
If I'm lucky ;) one of my kids wake up 30 mins before the other and then my mornings go pretty smoothly. When SD is here "smoothly" is not in my vocabularly. The phrase "time to myself" does not exist in that weekend world.
Sure, I put make up when I go grocery shopping... probably 50% of the time. I tend to go as soon as the store opens up... make up is not necessary at this time.

[deleted account]

Haha I ooze out in pretty much all the same places as the author. I hate TV, it's off unless my son earns a movie or my husband is watching it after J's in bed. I always know what day it is--oddly, I had a harder time with that when I actually worked outside the home :P I get mani/pedi's regularly, wear makeup, though it is very light, and wear nice clothes--I like to look pretty!



......at play dates we pretty much set our kids loose in a fenced back yard and sip iced tea on the porch while they go crazy. They get by and we're there if they need us, but I need mommy time too.



I don't eat my kid's leftovers (eww!) but I do usually forget to eat breakfast because I'm too busy fixing hub's & J's breakfasts and lunches, then I'm alone all day and forget lunch unless I have plans with a friend, so I pretty much survive on "after school snack" and Dinner :P

Danielle - posted on 02/23/2011

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Mon-Fri my day starts at 5:30. My favorite part of the morning is now. I just put my son on the bus and I may have about 30 mins to an hour before my daughter makes her appearance for the day...that's when the fun begins. Seriously the first thing out of her mouth in the morning is " Mom I'm hungry" and it goes from there. I'll clean and do laundry till 3:20 when my son gets off the bus. Then it's homework, supper, baths and bed. Which once my husband gets home he will help me. I don't really watch tv during the day. I turn it on and it's usually on cartoons. If I do take a break then I get on here lol. Sometimes I wish it was as easy to be a SAHM as ppl think

Mary - posted on 02/23/2011

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There's daytime TV other than Nick Jr?? I honestly didn't know that there was non-cartoon shows on before 8pm ;-)

As for meals...I don't have access to her leftovers; she gives them to the dogs. I have to make my own sandwich, or go hungry. If I try to nick something off her plate, she yells at me "Noooo, Mommy - that's Charlie's snack!".

Stifler's - posted on 02/23/2011

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maternity clothes are awesome! i'm thoroughly enjoying elastic waisted stuff at the moment and i wore it around town for like 4 months after the baby was born :)

Nikki - posted on 02/23/2011

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Meh, I look like shit, maternity tights are still my favourite pants to wear, I eat my daughters left overs, my favourite outing for the week is grocery shopping, I haven't peed or showered by myself in almost a year and a half, the only adults I talk to during the day are on com, I dance like a loony to the wiggles with my daughter, I still sometimes nap when my daughter does, I have a severe case of mummy brain and I love it all!

Some days I think I would like to go back to work part time but then I think how lucky I am to be able to spend my days watching my daughter learn and grow. Make up, showers, proper food and adult conversation will still be there when I finally decide to go back to work.

Stifler's - posted on 02/22/2011

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I was always a lazy parent. I feed my kid if he whinges, get the housework done ASAP and bludge with my hot tea/hot meal while he's in bed napping or off playing with blocks. Even when he was a tiny baby, he had a million naps so I showered then and ate hot food and did my hair and got dressed. Logan loves to play on his own so I have heaps of me time lol.

Katherine - posted on 02/22/2011

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I love the "Eventually we end up carrying our crying offspring" bit.

Sneaky - posted on 02/22/2011

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Really? I wish the TV would give me a chance to make and eat a 'real' lunch!!! I have given up on hot food now and only get cold ready, so it doesn't matter if it sits on the bench for half an hour before I get to eat it! Stereotypical all the way on that point!

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