6months and wanting another

Vicki - posted on 04/27/2011 ( 32 moms have responded )

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my little girl is 6month old im 25 my partner maisies dad is 34 he coz of his age is not sure of having another and maisie hasnt made it easy as she really likes to scream but ive always dreamed of 2 children and to be honest rick my partner is an only child and very spolit with i am not being 1 of 5, i certainly do not want maisie being the same as he is at 35 lol :/

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

[deleted account]

In the grand scheme of life, you are still blessed with a beautiful daughter who whould be your focal point for now. I've seen relationships torn apart over the issue of adding more children, or not. You and your partner need to come to a mutual agreement on this. Tricking him into a pregnancy is definately not adviseable for so many reasons! And there is absolutely nothing wrong with raising an only child :-)

Charlie - posted on 04/27/2011

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Wow Bobbie you sure put the Ass in assume , you know nothing of this lady stick to the question posed .

Vicki I would wait a year and see how it goes with Maisie , you have plenty of time for another you are both still young and have plenty of time for another .

Sarah - posted on 04/27/2011

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I agree with Laura. That was so incredibly NOT helpful & completely uncalled for.

Merry - posted on 04/27/2011

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Bonnie, please delete your post. That is horribly rude and completely insensitive, and utterly rude. Please read what you wrote and hear how you sound.

[deleted account]

Being an only child does not mean a spoiled child. Indulgent, lazy parents do that. Why not wait a while, you're very young still. Would it harm you to wait a year?

32 Comments

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Merry - posted on 05/01/2011

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Pretty sure it was Bonnie, not this Bonnie of course but her post was still up when I posted that one to her and I doubt I put Bonnie if it said Bobbie.
Never the less it wasn't Bonnie with a :-) at the end. :)

Bonnie - posted on 05/01/2011

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Awww Jodi, if you are saying what I think you are saying, that was truly very nice of you to say. Definitely put a smile on my face for the day!

Jodi - posted on 05/01/2011

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Definitely Bobbie, not Bonnie.
Bobbie has been spewing devil spawn all over CoM.
Bonnie is a legend.

Merry - posted on 05/01/2011

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I was hoping you hadn't seen bonnies post :(
Sorry about her, she was not a nice lady and you shouldn't take anything she said to heart!

Vicki - posted on 05/01/2011

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thank ladies for ur support on bonnies post was terribly upseting and very judgemental, and to all the rest of you ladies thank you ever so much for your nice , kind and some of them even funny post :)

Jay - posted on 04/30/2011

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my mum was 38 having me, my dad was 6 months older at 39. so you do have time and I get on great with my mum we are so close, I was a twin and we are the only girls with 4 brothers.
But it is of course up to you. you might regret it if you don't have any more wondering for the rest of your life what it would have been like, but if you do have another child you might regret it at times, but not forever and it will get easier and you will love both children and not have that regret.
(presuming that, if you do at times regret having the second, you will not regret later on in life when number 2 is fully grown and you love him/her unconditionally)

I have been asking my hubby to try for number 2 since our 1st was 6 weeks old, at 9.5weeks my husband has agreed so at around 8 months we are goin to start trying for number 2 :D will leave more of a gap between 2 and 3 though ...xxxxx

Bonnie - posted on 04/30/2011

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Well age is age. It is just a number. There are people in their 40s who have babies. But...when you think about it, as you get into your mid 30s there can be complications.

You may require fertility treatment. I know a few people who have had to do that. One example is the female is 32 and her husband is 38. They have been trying through fertility treatment for a second child for a year now and still nothing. Another example, the female is 28 and her husband is 40 and they have been trying through fertility for over 3 years and still nothing. You never know.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 04/29/2011

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Oh, and you may want to tell him the longer he waits, the older he will be. He is not to old...give me a freaking break dude.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 04/29/2011

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My sister got pregnant with her second when her first was 6 months. She talks about the pros and cons alot. Cons, 2 babies in diapers, and both needing A LOT of attention. Not that you would ignore one as the other one got older, it is just different needed attention. They both went through the terrible twos at the same time....but could always play with the same toys. Sharing was great....but at the same time there were more wars. She survived, they are 15 months apart, and one is 7 and the other is turning 6 in July. They are great buddies....most of the time.

It really is what you both want, and what you can handle. I definitely can see why you don't want an only child...it makes sense. But I can see why your husband my want to wait a bit. He might need to just get used to the idea. You both need to sit down and have a serious discussion about what you both want and need. Then when he finally comes around, the next step is finding out when you BOTH could handle having a second.

Good luck. For me, I wanted my oldest to be out of diapers. 3 months after he was competely out of them, I got pregnant. My daughter just turned 1 in April, and my son is turning 5 in may. For me, this was a great age gap. He loves having a baby sister, and does not get jealous. The age difference is a bit much...kinda wish they were closer in age....but they are fantastic together.

Bonnie - posted on 04/28/2011

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Wow, for a minute there I thought you ladies were refering to me with the whole rude post thing than I realized I had not commented on this thread yet and also realized that the person turned out to be Bobbie, not Bonnie. Phew!

Bonnie - posted on 04/28/2011

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Vicki, really it is up to you. You are the one that has to go through pregnancy again and more sleepless nights. You have to be ready for it...no one else. I know it is extremely tough to turn off the feeling of wanting another baby so do what will make you happy and content.

Mary - posted on 04/28/2011

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In the grand scheme of things, it really doesn't matter what anybody else thinks; we don't have to live your life! THe most important thing is that you and your partner are in agreement about it.

Rosie - posted on 04/28/2011

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i think you all need to talk about it some more. does he want to hold off on having kids forever just because he thinks he's too old? or are there other reasons. if he doesn't want anymore then that may be what you have to do, you can't force someone to be a parent again, he has to want it.

if you guys do decide to try again, i personally would wait at least two years. it is recommended by OB's to wait that long for your body to heal. back to back pregnancies does a number on your body and can sometimes cause miscarriage or other harm. obviously not everytime, but the odds are increased. good luck. :)

April - posted on 04/28/2011

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I can definitely relate to your desire to have another one when your daughter is just 6 months. My son was exactly Maisie's age when I started wanting another. For me, I was nursing and didn't want to risk losing my milk. It's 2 years later, we are still nursing but it is not his primary food so I feel better about it. It was very hard to wait...I have wanted a second child for many months! I wouldn't worry about Rick's age...a man can pretty much be 80 and still produce healthy sperm. I also wouldn't worry about your age. It's 10 years from now before you're even recognized as "advanced maternal age" by the medical community. Although 35 is considered to be "old". plenty of women are in their 40s and still birthing children.

Tara - posted on 04/28/2011

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I agree with everyone else, your hubby isn't old at all! Steve was 40 when Riley was born, one of my good friends is pregnant with her 6th baby, she is 41, her hubby is 43.
I like the spacing of about 2.5 years. My oldest two are 31 months apart, then there is a 4 year gap then my two oldest girls are 29 months apart and then the last is 35 months younger than my middle daughter. Then a 4 year gap and then Riley.
I liked the spacing, all my older ones were potty trained and sleeping all night in their own room/bed etc. before I had the next baby. It made life a lot easier having one baby and one more independent toddler/young child in the house.
Good Luck with whatever you choose.
As for being a spoiled only child.... well not every only child in the world is spoiled, only the ones whose parents felt the need to spoil the. Often this is because the child was an only and the parents either felt bad for them or felt that they had to do more to please them. Either way, spoiling can happen to an only child and it can happen to 12 children in a house of 12 children. It is completely up to the parents and the way they raise their kids.

Serene - posted on 04/27/2011

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Wait at least until Maisie is 15 months old if you want them to be close in age. My 2 kids are 2 years and 5 days apart. I love it!! They get along so well and While I was pregnant I was potty training my son and , when my daughter was born my son was fully potty trained. I'm in the middle of 9 kids and I did not want to raise my son up as an only child either but, I was much older then what you are and my kids father was in his late 40s when we had our kids. So, it is never to late to have kids. You have plenty of time and so does your partner. Good luck!

Sarah - posted on 04/27/2011

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Hmmm...looks as though Bobbie ran off & took her rude post with her....

[deleted account]

1. 34 isn't old. My husband is 36 and we just had our second (and last). There's still plenty of time to have another child.
2. Only children are not necessarily spoiled and lazy. It's all in how you raise them.

Good luck with whatever you choose to do.

Lacye - posted on 04/27/2011

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I think the name was Bobbie. Or at least that's what it showed on my end.

As for the OP, I would wait a little longer before I had another child. It's hard to handle 2 kids really close in age and then both are in diapers. It would be rough on you for a while.

Jenni - posted on 04/27/2011

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Wow Bobbie, that was incredibly rude and uncalled for. Are we having a bad day?



I agree with the other ladies. You're still so young. I have 3 children. SD- 4 years old, son 3 years old, and daughter 1 years old. Believe me, it does get more difficult with each child. Not saying it can't be done. ;) But it does make it harder when they're close in age because your older one still very much needs all your attention. I waited until my son was a year before trying for our second. It was still difficult! But meah, you adapt. So whatever you feel is best. :)

Mel - posted on 04/27/2011

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Yes Bonnies comment is nasty and judgemental. You most definately dont have to be married to have a family. I understand your concerns I have friends in the same boat who have older partner and want all thier kids by the time they are 40. If your ready for another child then go for it but if you dont feel ready yet I wouldnt do it just solely because of the age thing. My baby is 9 months and I would be over the moon about another baby at any stage but when my daughter was 6 months I couldnt say the same thing. I wasnt ready just yet. You do what you feel is right.

Sarah - posted on 04/27/2011

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Honestly, I would wait a little longer. You still have plenty of time...you're both young, your daughter is young...why the rush? Plus, it'll be good for your body to have a little more time to recuperate from your last pregnancy. It takes a lot out of a woman!



I'm an only child, and I must say that I'm not spoiled. ;) Okay, maybe a liiiiitle. But, seriously though, being an only child doesn't necessarily = spoiled. It just depends on how you, as the parent, choose to raise your child. Anyway, my son is 19 months old, and my husband & I have been talking about adding another baby to our family soon. And then I went to the grocery store this morning with my son (which was a complete nightmare) and I quickly questioned my desire to have another child so soon lol. ;)



But, ultimately the decision is up to you & your partner! Good luck!

Caitlin - posted on 04/27/2011

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I wouldn't worry about it reall, it's up to you how far apart your kids are. I'm 26 now, my hubby is 38, i'm pregant with #3, our first 2 are 15 months apart and this next one will be 18 months apart from our youngest atm, so I guess you could say I prefer the kids closer together, it's really not easy and some days I want to rip my hair out, but I love it this way, and planned it this way,a dn to each their own about how far apart they like their kids..

Jodi - posted on 04/27/2011

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34 is young. My husband was 40 when our youngest was born. Heck, I was older than your partner and I was the one who gave birth!!! Your partner has plenty of time, I don't know what he is so worried about.

Having said that, an only child is only as spoiled as their parents choose for them to be, so if Maisie DOES end up an only child, you can have complete say in whether she ends up like your partner (i.e. *spoiled*).

Merry - posted on 04/27/2011

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Wait at least until Maisie is a year old. Ideal I'd say is two years in between birth of number one and conception of number two. Having them close can be great in the long run, but I think it's a good idea to have at least two years between kids. Two year olds are still so needy and intense, but 1 1/2 year olds are much harder! I don't think a man in his 30s is that risky, I'm pretty sure he can easily have healthy babies into hus fourties.

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