a gift for you too

Nicole - posted on 01/22/2011 ( 27 moms have responded )

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Do you think it is smart to give a very young child a present to open at their siblings’ birthday party? Does this set them up for future disappointment?

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Jodi - posted on 01/22/2011

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I've never done it. The birthday is for the birthday person, period. Siblings don't need gifts too. My kids don't have expectations. For us, the other kids just look forward to some cake, LOL. That's good enough for them. When it is someone's birthday, they get to enjoy the cake :D Why would you feel you have to give siblings a gift too?

Stifler's - posted on 01/22/2011

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HAHAHA NO. It's the birthday boy/girl's day. Not everyone's day. People need to learn to take a back seat sometimes. That's what the cake and lollies and stuff are for if it's a party, everyone has a good time at the party they don't need presents.

Katherine - posted on 01/22/2011

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They just look so pathetic Jodi :( Especially when they're little.

Charlie - posted on 01/22/2011

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And what if you have more than two kids do you then buy all of them gifts ?

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Nicole - posted on 01/24/2011

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Not necessarily. My son got some cookies as his gift, as something he could open while his sister opened her gifts

Charlie - posted on 01/23/2011

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I just think kids need to learn not everything is for them , I don't know ...I love birthdays because it is such a special day to celebrate the persons birth , I love to make them feel special I would kinda feel like I was taking some of the shine off if other people got gifts for no reason .

I do give out party bags to everyone but I was assuming when you said gifts you meant like a toy or something .

Jodi - posted on 01/22/2011

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LOL. I've just never done it, it actually never occurred to me because our family has never done it. I am one of 5 children.

Nicole - posted on 01/22/2011

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Like I said, it's what my family has always done. For a lot of people in my life it is the natural thing to do. Also, my daughter is one, this is her first birthday, so it's not like I've had that long to think it all over. I've had many other things to think about



I am still making up my mind in regards to my feelings on the topic

Katherine - posted on 01/22/2011

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I always have little presents. I think it's a nice gesture to show appreciation. After all they did come to the party with a present and celebrate.



Edit to add: I give grab bags to my kids too, just so the other one gets a little something.

Nicole - posted on 01/22/2011

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For the members of my family it's only natural to give a gift to all of the children in a household when one has a birthday. It is common for the birthday girl/boy to get a bunch of gifts and their siblings to get one small gift each. My mom mailed out gifts to my kids, already wrapped. To her it was only natural to send something for both of them.

It was only yesterday that I started to wonder if it was a good idea, because it isn't something I want to keep up for all of kids childhoods.

This birthday I will go ahead and give the gifts to both kids, but next year my son will be 5 and I will explain to him that it is his sisters birthday, not his and that his birthday is coming soon:)

Thanks for all of the input.

Lacye - posted on 01/22/2011

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Nope. Birthdays are special to the birthday person. It's the one day a year that they have as their own. Unless they share a birthday with another sibling.

Melissa - posted on 01/22/2011

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no I disagree with that 100% but do beleve in giving other siblings a present when a new baby is born and them give a present to the new baby

Bonnie - posted on 01/22/2011

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"My kids are so close in age, whatever one gets, the other figures it's his too anyway! "

Becky, it's funny. I agree with you. My boys are 21 months apart and my mom always says, "they need their own things and they should keep them in their own room" I argue with her because I tell her, they are boys, they are close in age, they play with everything whether it is truthfully their own or not, and they go into eachother's rooms. She doesn't get it though.

[deleted account]

Every child needs to understand it isn't always about them.
If I see it happening I point it out to the host or hostess. If it is happening I quietly ask the offending parent to take the gift back to their car and give it at a more appropriate time. If the parent tries to explain it away & refuses I have no problem asking them to leave. While explaining that it isn't their child's birthday and that their child should be able to go to someones birthday party without expecting a present.
We believe it does set those children up for future disappointments and it makes that child less likable to people around them with the "I want" or "give me" attitude.

Becky - posted on 01/22/2011

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No, I wouldn't do it. I'm not going to say it's dumb, but it does set you up for complaints when you stop doing it. My kids are so close in age, whatever one gets, the other figures it's his too anyway!
We did do the gift for Cole when his baby brother was born though.

[deleted account]

Why would you buy another child a present on someone else's birthday? I've never heard of that before. Seems silly to me...

Bonnie - posted on 01/22/2011

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Grab bags/loot bags whatever you want to call them are good enough. Young siblings need to learn and understand that they have their time and place and their siblings birthday/party isn't it. I think if parents did keep up with this and then decided when the child got to a certain age to stop because they should be able to understand, yes, it would set the child up for disappointment.

Nicole - posted on 01/22/2011

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I am still undecided. I did get a gift this year for my son (4) for his sisters birthday. She's turning 1.

I am preparing goodie bags with bananas and cookies inside for all of the guests (not just the kids). I don't know of anyone who is alergic to bananas, they are cheap and full of good stuff.

Sarah - posted on 01/22/2011

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My Mum used to buy me a little present when it was my sisters birthday. Actually, I can still remember the year she didn't get me one, and I said "Where's my present??" and she said "I thought you were a bit old for that now!". I can't remember what age I was though.

I don't really see the harm of them getting a little something to be honest. I honestly can't remember if I've done it or not, probably!! I don't think it's a terrible idea, but I can see where your coming from! :)

Charlie - posted on 01/22/2011

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I don't do it I feel birthdays are to celebrate the birthday person , it is special for them .

Cooper received a gift when Cooper was born to congratulate him on becoming a big brother .

Joanna - posted on 01/22/2011

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I buy big brother/sister presents as well if my friend has a new baby... Any mother of 2+ knows how left out the older one can feel, so if I give baby a gift, they get one too.

But as far as birthdays - no. They have their special day, we all get one a year. You just have to remind them that their special day is coming soon.

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 01/22/2011

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I don’t think its dumb or smart…just be prepared to continue to give a gift to the other person who’s birthday its not….if it tickles your fancy to do it or not…up to you

I wouldn’t do it….that’s what grab bags are for

[deleted account]

I've never done it. Never even thought about it. I have, however, bought a special gifts for children when their mom has a new baby. Nothing big...$5 or less.

Kate CP - posted on 01/22/2011

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I think they should have SOMETHING be it a grab bag or a little gift or something.

Amanda - posted on 01/22/2011

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That is what grab bags are for. It use to drive me nuts when my family would buy my son or daughter a gift when it was their siblings birthday (they are a year and 1/2 a part). They would claim it will make for less fighting, Im like seriously?

Laura - posted on 01/22/2011

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Nope I wouldn't, I have little grab bags for any kids that are there but it's not their birthday, they don't need a present. Last year my 4year old let his brother 18 months at the time help him open presents which what very nice of him I thought.

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