A little long, sorry.. But need help!

C. - posted on 07/03/2010 ( 15 moms have responded )




As I've posted in these forums before, I am moving back to Hawaii soon.. I have a dilemma.

While my mom needs to sit in First Class b/c she has Arthritis in both hips and RLS (Restless Leg Syndrome) and needs the extra space to move around.

Well the last time I flew in Coach/Economy with my son was a year ago and he was on our laps, so there was a lot less space. This time around he'll have his own seat, so I'm not worried about space for us.

HOWEVER, I have asked my mom to fly to HI with us b/c I have Erb's Palsy in one arm and it's very difficult to do day-to-day things, let alone flying by myself w/ my son for 16+ hours.

My husband flat-out refuses to buy FC tickets b/c they are about $400 more per ticket than Coach/Economy, and I understand that. He just got us completely out of debt and I couldn't be more proud of him for sticking to the payments and everything.. I suggested that I get a credit card ONLY to cover the extra money per ticket (so no more than $900) and he wouldn't even hear me out, he just started saying 'Hell no' over and over again. And he also said if I went behind his back to get one, he wouldn't be making the payments on it (kind of understand that, but still..)

My MIL suggested (and as soon as she told my husband this, he was all on board for it) that my mom get a FC ticket and my son and I get C/E tickets and we can go back and forth between seats.. Yeah, then my son is going to be screaming when one of us goes to the front of the plane and can't come back until the other leaves.. I'm sure the other passengers will enjoy that.

They also suggested that I ask the airlines for help and just fly by myself. I could, except seeing what it was like when my son was 1 and flying with both my mom and I back to SC, it would be a nightmare for everyone on board the flight and a nuisance to whoever was assigned to help me. My son is 2, he's almost double his size from the last time we flew and a heck of a lot stronger and definitely much, MUCH louder.

I'm not really sure how to go about this. We need to buy our tickets soon, but my husband won't even listen to what I have to say about it. It's almost like he doesn't believe me when I tell him how difficult it's going to be, he just brushes it off.

Anyway, I am posting this on a debate forum b/c 1) I know each of you will give me your HONEST opinion no matter what and 2) this has the possibility to turn into a mild debate.

Who is being unreasonable?? Thanks in advance!


[deleted account]

I totally understand why he doesn't want to put it on a credit card. I think that's a wise decision.

You need to say something like, "Honey, let's not put the tickets on credit card. But you need to help me find a solution. What do you suggest?" The first sentence will get his attention. Then listen to him. When he's done, address the issue with each of his points. Sometimes with men, you have to twist the situation so they think they are in control, when you are really the one in control.

I also agree with Toni. Could you find someone else other than your mom? I know I'd chose my mom first in that situation. But practically speaking a friend, sibling, cousin or someone who doesn't need FC would be more appropriate. Unless your mom could help pay your ticket?

**edit: as I was typing you addressed the mom issue and posted before I did

Sharon - posted on 07/03/2010




Get the seats behind the head wall - ugh I can't remember what its called. Usually the wall that the tv screen is mounted to. There is tons of room there. maybe buy 4 seats there that way you'll get some extra space.

Why doesn't your husband trust you enough to let you get a credit card?

Tanya - posted on 07/06/2010




Oh I am very sorry he wouldn't budge. I think that if you call to upgrade as soon as he gets them you shouldn't have a problem. If the first person you talk to doesn't want to let you up grade ask for a supervisor and fully explain why you need it.

Good luck

[deleted account]

I'm sorry Christina =(

Could you raise some of your own money by holding a garage sale or selling some of your son's old clothes and toys on ebay? Maybe if you raise a large portion of it, he'd be willing to meet you halfway.

Katherine - posted on 07/04/2010




Well...it sounds like the bottom line is that you need F/C period. So you have to come up with a way to make it happen. People have offered suggestions and they don't work for you. The only option is to pay the extra money.....
I can see WHY your husband doesn't want to rack up debt since you just paid it off(awesome for you, I'm jealous) but this is kind of an extreme situation. You aren't going to Tiffany's or splurging, you really need to be in F/C for a valid reason. He needs to help with the solution.

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C. - posted on 07/06/2010




That's Ok, Sara.. My husband is just stubborn. We don't have enough time to organize a garage sale or try to sell things on Ebay. He's actually buying our tickets tomorrow and we'll be leaving before the end of the month.

What my mom was hoping to do is to upgrade our tickets after my husband buys them, but we'll see if she can. If not, it looks like we'll be traveling separately after all, as far as cabins go.

C. - posted on 07/06/2010




Well, hubby didn't budge when I used your method, Sara :( He admitted that we have the money, he's just not going to shell out that much for a F/C ticket. My mom and I may have figured something out. We'll see..

C. - posted on 07/04/2010




I'll try that, Sara.. Though I have already asked him how I was going to pay for the tickets.. He says either I figure it out or I'm flying C/E. But I'll try the way you suggested.. Hopefully I'll have more success with that. Thank you!

C. - posted on 07/04/2010





@Cathy.. I don't think so, but I'll check into it. Thanks, I never even thought about that!

@Toni.. My mom was the last resort b/c I knew she'd have to fly FC and I didn't want to spend a ton on a ticket, either.. But now that she's the only one that's able to help me.. I don't know.

And, Toni.. I don't even know our financial situation. He won't put me on his account until he gets back to the Island. He's been giving me allotment money for the duration of his deployment (basically like a monthly allowance). I know we have more than he wants to admit- he's always been like that. But he doesn't let me know specifics, which is really frustrating b/c I feel as the wife, I have a right to know what our finances are like.

Thanks, Katharine. Not sure how everything is going to go down the next time I talk to my husband.

[deleted account]

I agree with Cathy on the credit card - if you have just cleared your family debt why would you want to get a credit card to make more debt? Your hubby sounds as though he is just trying to protect your family on this one.

Also I can see why he would not want you to fly f/c at an extra $400 per ticket. Could you not ask somebody other than your mom to fly with you to help you, somebody who would be ok to fly c/e?

Not knowing more about your financial situation I can't really comment on who is right or wrong - can you afford to fly f/c without getting into debt and without missing out on anything you need? If so then you should be able to fly f/c if not then you should fly c/e IMO.

C. - posted on 07/03/2010




Sharon, I can't sit in those seats b/c it's an Exit row and with my disability, it would be difficult to assist people in an emergency. They've never allowed me to sit there.

And, your guess is as good as mine with the whole money thing. I've never had a problem handling money responsibly.. Heck, even when WE (my husband and I) were about to go over budget for necessary baby items, I used MY inheritance that had been promised to me long before I even met my husband (my Grandfather had passed away more than a year before I met my husband).

And Amie, I am always on my husband about how he interrupts me or won't let me explain something.. It's very frustrating.

Amie - posted on 07/03/2010




Your husband is being a douche bag.

With that being said. Do airlines even allow people to seat hop once they've sat down? I don't know because the only time I've flown I'm gone by myself. My friends always picked assigned seats next to each other but I'm thinking the airline wouldn't like seat hoppers, even with a reason.

My husband listens to me though when I talk. He doesn't like it when I interrupt him, so he doesn't interrupt me. The few times he has I've always told him to shut up and LISTEN before he talks. He doesn't like it when I interrupt him so he can show me the same courtesy. Drives me NUTS!

Meghan - posted on 07/03/2010




I just flew by myself for 6 hours (including lay over's and what not) with my 20 month old...I don't realy know who is "right" or "wrong" in your situation...but I do know that flying with a toddler is frightning and DRAINING! I managed, but I wish I had some help...that probably doesn't help too much does it?

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