A Scenario: Do you feel I was wrong and what would you do if that were YOU?

Springs1 - posted on 10/10/2010 ( 111 moms have responded )

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On Christmas day in 2001, I worked a donut shop from 6a.m.-12p.m.(we closed at 12p.m.) As you know, not too many places are open on Christmas day. IHop, Denny's, and the Movie theaters are the only one besides hospitals or gas stations by an interstate basically.



Anyway, nobody showed up that was supposed to work with me(at least one counter girl was scheduled) at the counter(I was counter help, we made tips, plus minimum wage.)



Well, anyway, my boss ended up working with me and left around 11a.m. to go eat with his family, leaving me having all the side work stuff even by myself as well as the customers.



This customer comes in, pays with a $100 bill(we had change for big bills), gets 5 dozen donuts at $4.50 a dozen. He puts some change in the tip jar, I believe a few dollars and the coins. I give him a bunch of 20 dollar bills for change. He hands me a 20 dollar bill. At the first second, I thought he was going to say when he first handed it to me "Merry Christmas", considering we had before a man that left on purpose(he told us to keep it) $11 of his change in drive-thru of all things.



Well, anyway, this customer asks me about a customer sitting at the counter, which I don't know too much about him and he didn't seem poor to me. This customer at the counter ordered a burger and a coke earlier, but was sitting there. Yes, from the way he looked, maybe he was poor, but to me poor people don't buy burgers, they buy the 60 cent donuts if they are that poor and don't order COKES, they order WATER.



Anyway, this customer that gave me the 20 dollar bill of his change asked if I would give it to that man(sort of like an anonymous thing), which I said "yes", because honestly I was going to truly think about it and was just taken off guard. This was a to-go order obviously, so this customer left that ordered that gave me the 20 dollar bill.



Well, I decided to keep it since I feel if you are that POOR, YOU GET YOURSELF OUT OF YOUR LAZY SEAT and GO TO WORK LIKE I DID ON CHRISTMAS DAY!! Do you think I wanted to work on Christmas? Also, this customer ended up paying his burger and coke with a 20 dollar bill, which doesn't show me at all he was poor. Poor, means you pay with some coins, not a 20 dollar bill.



What would you do? Do you feel I had EVERY RIGHT to keep the 20 dollar bill since my obligation in terms of money was only to pay the restaurant what was owed and that any overages were tips? Do you feel that even if I would have gone to the guy to give it to him, that he would have had a right to take it since I was WORKING HARD for my money and he was sitting on his butt? Do you feel that it was his 20 dollar bill, when it wasn't like someone's personal property like a jacket or wallet or even that the man at the counter would have dropped this on the ground, which would be very different if that were the case. It would 100% different that it would have been that guy at the counter's property, not mine.



I don't feel it was his 20 dollar bill, because I was EARNING my pay WORKING HARD, this guy had it easy sitting on his butt on Christmas day while I had to work. He can get a job too, not just me. That's not fair he gets to get free money to sit on his butt, but I get to bust butt for mine. That's not right.



While it ended up that I lied to the customer that asked me to give him this 20 dollar bill, this 20 dollar bill wasn't this guy's property like someone's purse or wallet, this was pure cash. I honestly didn't like intentionally lie, because I was truly caught off guard at the whole situation that he should have given ME that money since I was working hard on Christmas day. I DESERVED IT, NOT THAT GUY THAT WAS SITTING THERE. Why should someone get free money just because it APPEARS they are poor, when in fact, all the things that this guy ordered and paid with indicates to me, he just dressed poorly and didn't keep his beard groomed/trimmed well. I don't feel sorry for the poor, because you decide that you want what you get. If you are poor, you order WATER, NOT a soft drink or coffee, TAP water that is FREE. If you are poor, why aren't you WORKING? As I said before, there are jobs available on Christmas day?



Some people I have told this story to feel that I was in the wrong, but those people I told this too, were co-workers that weren't hard workers like I am. They were the lazy type and honestly I bet if they were in the same situation, they would have kept it too being that they had to work on Christmas day.



I can see a tiny bit that morally because I lied(not at the time I truly didn't, but it ended up being a lie), but it's not FAIR or RIGHT to let someone have money that isn't working for it.



It's just like welfare taking our tax dollars WE work for to woman that keep opening their legs with no birth control or not using the birth control correctly. It's one thing to have one baby, but to have 4 or 6 and be on welfare, that's abusing the system. I work hard for my money, other people should too. I am not asking for a handout and no one should be given one. We should all work for our money.



Does anyone agree with me? If not, WHY? What would you do if you worked on Christmas day and felt that the person wasn't poor? Also, how would you feel when he wasn't working and you were how it feels?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

[deleted account]

I'm all for a good debate, here goes.



You keep capitalizing "LEGALLY OBLIGATED" and saying you were NOT Legally Obligated, but actually, you WERE legally obligated. When the man asked you to give the money to a specific person, pointed out in person, and you verbally agreed to do so, you entered into a verbal agreement, which IS admissible in a Court of Law (assuming you are in the US). If the man who gave you the $20 wanted to, and there were witnesses or video/audio surveillance, he could take you to court for it.





And putting it in another way...........

If you were collecting donations for a charitable cause, and people handed you money with explicit orders to donate it to the cause for which you were collecting, and you agreed to pass the money along to the cause, would you still assume that you have every right to keep the money since they gave it to YOU?





And another thing...........

A few Christmases ago, I saw a man who was all alone on Christmas, he had lost his family in a car accident over Thanksgiving weekend. He still had a home, he still had decent clothes, but he was thousands of dollars in debt in medical bills for his youngest daughter who had slept in a comma for 3 weeks before passing away, and was struggling to stay afloat. I gave him a $20 bill and told him to buy himself a good meal. He had survived on raman noodles, hospital food, and water for a month and I wanted to give him the gift of a good meal for Christmas. This wasn't 2001, but how do you know the man you refused to give the gift to was not in a similar situation?

Meghan - posted on 10/10/2010

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I am a bartender...it is only a tip if they give it you. He asked you to give it to the other guy therefore IT WASN'T a tip anymore. And you know what buttercup, life isn't fair. I think what you did is deranged and more of a moral issue than someone ordering a cheeseburger and not working on Christmas day

Krista - posted on 10/10/2010

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One person asked you to give another person $20 and you decided to keep it for yourself. The long-winded nature of your post does not disguise the fact that you stole money.



You have every right to decide what to do with your own money. And if you choose to not make a charitable donation to someone who has the temerity to order Coke instead of water, then that is your prerogative.



But it was not your money.



It doesn't matter if the intended recipient of that money was wearing a fur coat and dripping with diamonds. The giver asked you specifically to give that money to that recipient. You did not. That is theft, no matter which way you want to twist things around to try to justify it to yourself.



You stole. Plain and simple. And that was wrong.

Ez - posted on 10/10/2010

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Fuck me this is ridiculous. I'm locking this thread.
Can anyone receiving PMs from Springs please forward them to me or another mod and we will deal with it.
Springs, it might be best if you go away of your own accord.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

111 Comments

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Springs1 - posted on 10/10/2010

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Charlene
"What? Did you even read my post?"

Yes, I am talking about price per slice bread, not buns. I am talking about you can make around 10 sandwiches at least with one loaf of bread. So you have NO CLUE OF WHAT THE HELL YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT.

[deleted account]

"First of all, NO witnesses saw or knew about it. How could the man take me to court when he wouldn't have known if I would have given customer at the counter the money? "--Springs1

You are the one who brought up legal obligation. I'm sorry, but weather anyone saw it or not, once you told the man you would give it to the intended recipient, you were LEGALLY obligated to do so. By your logic, it is okay to do anything illegal as long as there are not witnesses.

As far as the man ordering something "So expensive", I gave the guy I knew $20 to spend on a meal. I expected him to spend the ENTIRE $20 on the meal. My gift to him was a nice meal, so if he wanted to spend it on a soda and a burger, then that is fine. It doesn't mean he wasn't poor, it just means I gave him a gift. The whole point of the gift was to get him something other than water. How would it have been a gift if I said, "here's $20, go buy the same stuff you eat every day with it." That would just be stupid.

Charlene - posted on 10/10/2010

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What? Did you even read my post?
I described to you how it would actually be cheaper to get ONE burger and a coke in a restaurant instead...
I'm sure that one day of treating himself totally decided if he was poor or not. SARCASM IN CASE YOU DIDN'T CATCH THAT!!

Springs1 - posted on 10/10/2010

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Dana
"DID HE SAY HERE IS A TIP FOR YOU, NO HE DIDN'T SO YOU ARE A THIEF AND NOW A LIAR."

No, the words he said LEGALLY mean NOTHING, because any overcharges I had were TIPS, plain and simple. I didn't owe the register anymore money or the customer's change since he got his change already, so I didn't do anything illegal.

Springs1 - posted on 10/10/2010

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Charlene
"Actually, sorry to burst your bubble.. but I can get a burger and a coke for like three bucks a restaurant.
It would cost me at least 3 or 4 dollars to buy a cheap bit of hamburger, plus 2 or 3 dollars for a bun, because I would have to buy all eight, plus the condiments..."

That still cost more than making a sandwich at home or eating ramen noodles. You decide if you are that poor by not eating out in the FIRST PLACE.

Springs1 - posted on 10/10/2010

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If you have money to eat out, then obviously you aren't that poor, plain and simple. Why should I feel sorry for you if you are going to eat out?

Dana - posted on 10/10/2010

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DID HE SAY HERE IS A TIP FOR YOU, NO HE DIDN'T SO YOU ARE A THIEF AND NOW A LIAR.

Charlene - posted on 10/10/2010

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Actually, sorry to burst your bubble.. but I can get a burger and a coke for like three bucks a restaurant.
It would cost me at least 3 or 4 dollars to buy a cheap bit of hamburger, plus 2 or 3 dollars for a bun, because I would have to buy all eight, plus the condiments...

Springs1 - posted on 10/10/2010

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Meghan
"it is only a tip if they give it you."

HE PHYSICALLY DID IN MY HANDS!!

Meghan - posted on 10/10/2010

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*beats head on the wall* I think my 2 year old would grasp this concept better than you are

Springs1 - posted on 10/10/2010

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Meghan
"therefore IT WASN'T a tip anymore."

LEGALLY, YES IT WAS, ANY OVERAGES WERE TIPS, because I was only legally obligated to worry about the restaurant's money, that's it.

Springs1 - posted on 10/10/2010

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Charlene
"I would hardly call a burger and a coke prepared by a whiney cashier a 'decent' meal, but hey, FOOD is a necessity. People have to eat.. poor or not."

Sorry, but you can eat a sandwich at home for A BILLION times CHEAPER. No one made this man eat out. I don't feel sorry for the ones that are SPENDERS. COOK AT HOME IF YOU ARE THAT POOR!!

Springs1 - posted on 10/10/2010

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Kelly
"If the man who gave you the $20 wanted to, and there were witnesses or video/audio surveillance, he could take you to court for it."

First of all, NO witnesses saw or knew about it.

How could the man take me to court when he wouldn't have known if I would have given customer at the counter the money? He would have NEVER found out and never did, so this is useless to talk about here.

"If you were collecting donations for a charitable cause, and people handed you money with explicit orders to donate it to the cause for which you were collecting, and you agreed to pass the money along to the cause, would you still assume that you have every right to keep the money since they gave it to YOU? "

Not the same AT ALL. One person is making tips, the other isn't. 100 MILLION PERCENT TOTALLY DIFFERENT.

Just like at McDonald's, it's McDonald's charities, no tipping allowed.

"but how do you know the man you refused to give the gift to was not in a similar situation?"

If he was, he shouldn't have ordered something so EXPENSIVE and A COKE of all things. I don't feel sorry for the big spenders. If you are poor, you get a WATER and something much cheaper.

Secondly, did he care about MY financial woes? Heck no, so WHY should I care about someone else's then that doesn't care about mine? It's only fair.

Cassie - posted on 10/10/2010

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Poor you. Life's not fair.

You said it yourself, he gave you a tip. You were taking money from him above what he thought you earned. STEALING

Charlene - posted on 10/10/2010

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I would hardly call a burger and a coke prepared by a whiney cashier a 'decent' meal, but hey, FOOD is a necessity. People have to eat.. poor or not.

Springs1 - posted on 10/10/2010

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Meghan
"Who are you to judge how another spends their money when you steal?"

First off, it's not stealing, it's keeping the overage of change, which is called a TIP, since it was handed in MY HANDS.

Secondly, why should that guy sitting on his ass get free money while I have to WORK for it? THAT IS MORALLY WRONG and YOU KNOW IT!! THAT IS NOT FAIR, IT'S JUST NOT!! How can you say it is?

Springs1 - posted on 10/10/2010

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Charlene
"And yes.. buying a burger and coke, that probably cost no more than five or six bucks is totally being a 'SPENDER'."

Then why should I feel sorry for someone that has enough money to get a decent meal, huh? They aren't poor!!

Springs1 - posted on 10/10/2010

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Charlene
"Well, maybe if you had of been a better server, and not expected a tip for whatever work you put forth, then the man might have tipped you"

If you would have READ my post, he DID tip me some dollars and coins in the tip jar.

Also, this has zero to do with working hard. I was busting my butt. You are wrong about that.

Cassie - posted on 10/10/2010

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you were butt hurt and stole money after you had entered a verbal agreement with a customer. You're having issues with it now trying to defend yourself even though no one agrees with you.... worthless in my opinion.

Springs1 - posted on 10/10/2010

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Charlene
"OF COURSE HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT YOUR FINANCIAL SITUATION. Then again, he wasn't stealing from you.. you were stealing from him."

THEN WHY SHOULD I CARE ABOUT HIS? What goes around, comes around.

"JUST BECAUSE YOU HAD CONTROL OVER THE SITUATION, DOES NOT MEAN IT IS RIGHT TO KEEP THE MONEY."

Sure did since it was HANDED IT MY HANDS.

Charlene - posted on 10/10/2010

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Well, maybe if you had of been a better server, and not expected a tip for whatever work you put forth, then the man might have tipped you.

Springs1 - posted on 10/10/2010

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Cassie
"earned money when they were trying to do a kindness for another."

It wasn't kind to the person working, was it? What about the worker's feelings and money issues? I was still living with my parents, not on my own. I had money issues too, not just him if he did even.

Springs1 - posted on 10/10/2010

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Cassie
"You earned JACK!!"

That guy sitting on his ASS DIDN'T AT ALL compared to me. That is the GOD'S TRUTH and you know it.

"If I were your boss, you'd be fired."

WHY? The business wouldn't be affected and NO ONE would know about it, because the customer never came back to ask about it and the customer I would have given it to wouldn't have known, so HOW IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU KNOW ABOUT IT UNLESS I TOLD SOMEONE?

That would be a stupid decision to fire someone for doing something LEGALLY ok and not doing anything wrong with the business money.

"If I were a customer in your restaurant, you'd get nothing from me (and I usually tip at minimum 20%)."

WHY? It wasn't your money or your business, so WHY would you tip based on SOMEONE ELSE'S SERVICE? NO ONE DOES THAT, SO WHY WOULD YOU?

Rosie - posted on 10/10/2010

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i'm going to bed, but before i do, i would like to mention to everybody to block the troll. she likes to pm people as well!! nighty night!!

Cassie - posted on 10/10/2010

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It simply shows your lack of integrity to keep other people's hard earned money when they were trying to do a kindness for another.

Charlene - posted on 10/10/2010

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LMAO.. you are just... ugh.
Maybe that 20 came in a card or was left over from a work bonus and he decided to treat himself, you know, since it was CHRISTMAS after all. And yes.. buying a burger and coke, that probably cost no more than five or six bucks is totally being a 'SPENDER'.

OF COURSE HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT YOUR FINANCIAL SITUATION. Then again, he wasn't stealing from you.. you were stealing from him.

JUST BECAUSE YOU HAD CONTROL OVER THE SITUATION, DOES NOT MEAN IT IS RIGHT TO KEEP THE MONEY.

GAH.
This is pointless... you obviously do not have the mental/moral capacity to see that what you did was stealing and that stealing is wrong.

W/e.

Meghan - posted on 10/10/2010

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like on of the other ladies said, maybe he saved up for a long time. You rewarded yourself for your "hard work" at a doughnut shop..maybe that was his reward! Who are you to judge how another spends their money when you steal?

Springs1 - posted on 10/10/2010

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Sara
"Put yourself in the donating customer's shoes."

If I were the person that donated, I would have given it to the person that I wanted to give it to, plain and simple. Trusting others is just plain IGNORANT. Just think if I were to have given that cashier the 2 one hundred dollar bills, she or he would have pocketed it. I have ZERO doubts about that. No matter if the people came asking for the money. The cashier would lie, I promise that, mostly all would lie and you know it.

Springs1 - posted on 10/10/2010

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Charlene
"Would you not be upset if that man had handed a twenty to the other customer and said, 'here, tip the employee for me would ya?' but the guy kept it?"

NO, I would honestly EXPECT them to keep it.

Think about this, once I found in a parking lot, not by a car, 2 ONE HUNDRED dollar bills(this happened I think in 2004). If I were to have gone into the place of business and told the cashier "If anyone comes here looking for some missing money, can you give it to them?" Do you honestly think they would? HELL NO!!'

Why would this be is any different then?

Springs1 - posted on 10/10/2010

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Charlene
"got laid off. HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW?? You don't, so who are you to decide whether or not this man is worthy of the money MEANT for HIM?"

Firstly, if he was that POOR, WHY did he order A BURGER AND A COKE? If you are that POOR, you can't order anything but water and a donut or 2 at the MOST. I don't feel sorry for the people that are SPENDERS like the ones that buy cigarettes and beer, but say they are broke and need money for food, well YOU DECIDE WHAT TO SPEND YOUR MONEY ON. I don't feel sorry for those types.

Secondly, that's his problem, does he care about my financial situation? NO, so why should I care about his?

Thirdly, since it was GIVEN IN MY HANDS, I had CONTROL OVER THE SITUATION.

Julie - posted on 10/10/2010

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Stick a fork in me, I'm done. This is no debate, on so many levels.

[deleted account]

Put yourself in the donating customer's shoes.

I'll be back to read the rest of this tomorrow. Hubby and I have the house to ourselves so I'm going to enjoy! =)

Charlene - posted on 10/10/2010

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Would you not be upset if that man had handed a twenty to the other customer and said, 'here, tip the employee for me would ya?' but the guy kept it?

By your reasoning, he would have been allowed to since it was in HIS hands... *headdeskrepeat*

Stifler's - posted on 10/10/2010

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You did the wrong thing regardless. If you weren't going to give the guy the money you shouldn't have taken it from the other customer.

Cassie - posted on 10/10/2010

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You earned JACK!! You took it for yourself after lying to the man who gave the money. Just because you were at work doesn't mean you earned anything more than your hourly wage. If I were your boss, you'd be fired. If I were a customer in your restaurant, you'd get nothing from me (and I usually tip at minimum 20%).

Springs1 - posted on 10/10/2010

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Julie
"Why did you even ask for opinions if you don't want to hear the truth?"

Because I thought someone that was a HARD WORKER would have FULLY 100% AGREED with me here since they are a HARD WORKER, that's why. It's all about EARNING that money and not it being given like a welfare check.

Charlene - posted on 10/10/2010

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HE WAS ENTITLED TO IT BECAUSE IT WAS INTENDED FOR HIM!!! NOT YOU!!!!
Get that through your skull already...

And if you don't have kids, why are you on a forum for MOTHERS?!?

And another thing, maybe he had everything planned out, had a great job, started a family with his wife and then when the recession happened, got laid off. HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW?? You don't, so who are you to decide whether or not this man is worthy of the money MEANT for HIM?

Springs1 - posted on 10/10/2010

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Cassie
"Who are you to steal his money and keep it for yourself?"

It's not stealing though, don't you get that I wasn't LEGALLY OBLIGATED to give any money to someone else, because any overages were considered TIPS?

I didn't steal, because it wasn't the man's money at the counter, it was HANDED IN *MY* HANDS, IT WAS MINE, I **EARNED** IT, HE DIDN'T and SHOULDN'T DESERVE IT, especially he WASN'T POOR.

Dana - posted on 10/10/2010

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Springs, could you please say this sixteen different ways? I'm not fully understanding it.

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