'Abortion Addict'

~Jennifer - posted on 10/19/2009 ( 18 moms have responded )

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http://news.aol.com/article/abortion-add...



'Abortion Addict' Recounts Vicious Cycle



(Oct. 14) -- Irene Vilar makes no bones about it. She was an "abortion addict."

During a 17-year period -- beginning when she was 16 and ending at age 33 -- she terminated 15 pregnancies. In a newly published memoir, "Impossible Motherhood: Testimony of an Abortion Addict," Vilar describes how she got caught up in a vicious cycle.

"Of course, this did not mean I wanted to do it again and again," she told the Los Angeles Times. "A druggie also wants to stop every time."When she met her first husband, she was a 16-year-old student and he was a 50-year-old professor at Syracuse University. He liked very young women and he said having children killed sexual desire.

Vilar said she rebelled by "forgetting" to take her birth control pills. After becoming pregnant, she would panic, thinking her husband would leave her. She would have an abortion and feel relief -- but before long, she would do it all over again.

She was also self-mutilating and made several suicide attempts, she writes.

Vilar also believes her problem was linked to her roots in Puerto Rico. Her mother -- who had been forced into having an unnecessary hysterectomy when she was 33 -- committed suicide by leaping from a moving car. Vilar was just 8 years old at the time and tried in vain to stop her mother from jumping.

Vilar's maternal grandmother was Puerto Rican nationalist Lolita Lebrón. In 1954, Lebrón and three other nationalists opened fire in the U.S. Capitol, wounding five congressmen. After spending 25 years in prison, Lebrón was pardoned by President Jimmy Carter in 1979. She is now 89 and in ill health.

In the wake of her first marriage, Vilar went on to find stability with a new husband. Now 40, she has two daughters, ages 5 and 3.

Vilar received 51 rejections before Other Press agreed to publish her memoir. She said she debated for years whether to even write the book, concerned about the response it might provoke.

"I am worried about my safety and the hate mail," she told ABC News. As a safety precaution, she has scheduled only closed-door interviews and will not do a book tour. Her name is not recorded in public property records, so she cannot be tracked down that way.

Vilar said she expected many women who fought to legalize abortion would be dismayed by her book. "My feeling was that I let them down. They risked their lives to give me this, and I abused that right,” she told the L.A. Times.

Charmaine Yoest, president of Americans United for Life, called Vilar's story "just so tragic."

"It really underscores everything we always say in the pro-life movement -- that abortion is part of a very sad story for women," Yoest said.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

?? - posted on 10/20/2009

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Okay I'm gonna throw this out there.... cause this doesn't make any sense. I agree that this person is a vile worthless and lame excuse for a woman and what she did was disgusting but people want stricter legislation for issues that have no bearing on your life, like abortion and homosexual marriage but then they say they want less government involvement in our lives.



The behavior is deplorable, but I don't understand trying to use this as an example of why your bible (beliefs) and your definition of a baby (which is not the legal definition) should be the accepted standard that an entire nation of people would be expected to live by.



Live your life to those beliefs but you can not honestly be asking people to conform to your 'beliefs' of what a baby is, what behavior is acceptable just because there is a pathetic excuse of a human being like this broad that abuses the rights that every woman should have available to her. Just like you have the right to religion, we all have the right to choose for ourselves what is best for US as individual women and the right to choose whether being a mom is what is best for us and that baby, at that time.



If you're saying that this stupid fool of a person is a reason every other woman should lose her rights, then you're saying that every stupid fool of a person that thinks religion is a joke has the right to take away your right to religion. Your religion has no bearing on anyone else's life, and Jill, Mary Ellen, Bo Peep and Cinderella having 1, 2, 5, even 20 abortions has no bearing on your life.



As much as the behavior is deplorable - the only PERSON she is hurting is herself. I agree that therapy, councilling, education is necessary but when it comes down to it... its no one's decision but her own as to whether she has an abortion or not.



This isn't directed at anyone in particular, just kind of an off flow of what Christa was saying - please don't think I am attacking you Christa or trying to contradict you, because I agree with you that required counselling and the time frame needs to be set in stone. But no one is "hiding behind no one will tell me what to do with my body." Women that use abortion as a birth control or as this woman did, saying she was addicted to abortion (which I find to be pathetic) they are not the norm, and they are not the people to be setting the standard for the rest of the world.



She's NOT the reason we should be doing anything other than educating our daughters about life, sex, men, choosing the right partner, abortion and the consiquences... she's not the reason we should be doing anything "legally", she's just the reason we should all be stepping up the education bar for our daughters so that our lil ones don't grow up to think the same way.

?? - posted on 10/19/2009

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She shouldn't be profitting from a book like this... I hope she has enough sense to give proceeds from her book go education, about abortion, about sex, and to other related organizations.

18 Comments

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Lisa - posted on 02/16/2010

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I agree with you Jocelyn (well maybe not about the sterilization) but In my opinion {and that's all it is an opinion so don't pounce on me} I feel that abortion is more suited to an emergency unplanned mistake, not something that a woman should need to do multiple times. There are so many forms of birth control I don't see why anyone could not access a better form. Abortion isn't a birth control to me its a last resort used when birth conrol fails. Although I could never imagine having an abortion myself I can understand how it might be the right choice for someone else if b/c failed or in cases of rape etc.

Jocelyn - posted on 10/21/2009

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See, she is the reason that I believe women should be sterilized after they've had a certain number of abortions!!!
My god, that woman is just despicable. I fully support a woman's choice to have an abortion, but there is a line there, and she crossed it a dozen abortions ago.
She needs some serious psychological help...

?? - posted on 10/21/2009

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1 post was deleted - Christ'a post.

I kinda wish I had reply with quote'd her now.

Why did whoever delete that post? Christa? Mods? Whoever? Why?

Traci - posted on 10/21/2009

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Okay...just looking back at some of the later posts...it seems I must have missed something. Oh well....

[deleted account]

I agree this one woman is disgusting and her personal use of abortion as birth control is sick. And yes, I am sure that there are many many more women out there that has had multiple abortions. I do not condone her sick behaviors at all, but guess what? She did them legally. Not in some back alley or in a cheap motel room with a wire hanger. I truly hope this mentally ill women got professional help over the years and that she does NOT profit from her book. But abortion is a legal medical procedure and no one does have the right to tell me what I should or should not do with my own body. Don't make it your business-just move along.

Ez - posted on 10/19/2009

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This women is clearly not of sound mind, but that doesn't excuse so many bad choices. I'm actually surprised she was able to have children at all after so many terminations. I also agree the idea of her profiting in any way from this is pretty off.

Jeannette - posted on 10/19/2009

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Wow, I cannot believe her. It is one thing to make a mistake, but she wasn't mistaken about her intentions. I think she is a sick person, and I don't know that she is any better just because she is in another relationship, as if, all those years later voila`, all she needed was a different man!
Maybe she did receive thereapy though, it doesn't say.

Sharon - posted on 10/19/2009

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Yeah - sorry no debate from me either. She is an incredibly stupid woman. & her mistakes shouldn't affect me.

Sara - posted on 10/19/2009

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Totally agree with Natalie!



People abuse lots of things for different reasons, but I don't see a huge movement to make alcohol illegal (and that kills and maims babies too). You know why? Because you can, and should not, legislate morality. Maybe if this woman had access to mental health counseling this wouldn't have happened, but she probably didn't have health insurance.



Abortion is a sad story for women, but so is having back-alley abortions or using vacuums or wire hangers to try to give yourself one because you can't access a safe one legally.

Natalie - posted on 10/19/2009

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"My feeling was that I let them down. They risked their lives to give me this, and I abused that right."



I am dismayed. You abuse the right, maybe you should lose it, but don't tell me that I shouldn't have the right because of your (15) bad decisions. What a stupid woman.

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