Acts of revenge

Katherine - posted on 03/17/2011 ( 40 moms have responded )

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Cafemom



Whenever my phone rings at 3 in the morning, it makes me nervous. And for good reason, since no conversation I’ve ever had at any wee hour has ever been good news (except for the occasional booty call from my then-boo back in college, but that’s a different kind of walk down memory lane).



The last time it happened, it wasn’t either.



“Hello?” I whispered in one of those cantankerous, it’s-3-am-so-don’t-expect-light-hearted-chit-chat voices.



No one said anything on the other end, but I could make out one distinctive noise: heaving and sobbing. I know that sound all too well. I waited for a minute, then gently pressed with another “hello” before my friend finally managed words to share the worst news that a woman could get besides finding out that Real Housewives was going off the air: her fiancé was cheating. And she found the proof herself.



A few days later, she sent out a text message to their 32-person bridal party to 1) update them on the cancellation of the wedding and 2) inform them that he had a nasty sexually transmitted disease, a 4-inch penis, and frequent bouts with erectile dysfunction.



Ouch.



We all cry when some rancid, cheating man breaks our hearts. But some of us can cry and devise a sinister plot against said dirtbags at the same time. In the heat of being scorned, it's a natural reaction to want to get back at the loser who did you wrong. I'd like to write some words of caution about the legal ramifications of being spiteful, some thoughtful perspective on “being the bigger person” and not stooping to a level of pettiness, some inspirational words of encouragement full of clichés like “you can do better” and “someone more deserving will come along.”



Yeah, yeah, yeah. Heck with all that. Sometimes it just feels good to get revenge and worry about the consequences later.









I guess we have lying, low-down men to thank for a few things. Without unfaithful jackasses, Mary J. Blige and Keyshia Cole wouldn’t have much to sing about, we wouldn't go crazy over the scene when Bernadine sets her doggish hubby's car ablaze in Waiting to Exhale, “Before He Cheats” wouldn’t be such a classic man-hating song, and we wouldn’t be able to shock the hell out of folks with the crazy, creative handiwork of a woman scorned.



If you caught your man cheating, would you take the high road or would you take a stab at revenge?

Don't forget to click the link to check out the pics.

http://thestir.cafemom.com/love_sex/1175...

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Sharon - posted on 03/17/2011

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I cook, I clean, I bring home the bacon, I bust ass for my kids and whore for him in the bedroom.

if his fucking ass is sleeping around they're both going to pay for it. I'll destroy her down to the ground and he won't EVER be able to walk upright like a man again.

If he so much as buys her a hotdog, I'll make sure I sue her in court for costing my children financial stability because if he bought her a meal - what else was he buying her? No no no, I'll ruin them both and it won't be hard.

Stifler's - posted on 03/17/2011

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Setting someone's car on fire aye, probably the reason he cheated in the first place if she's like that. Living well is the best revenge. Doing crazy shit will only be an embarrassing memory years down the track, when your ex has moved on with someone else and the whole town is laughing at you for being crazy.

Johnny - posted on 03/17/2011

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When I found out my ex-boyrfriend was cheating, I just kicked him out of the apartment. I called his mother, who loved me more (lol) and told him to come get his stuff. The lease was in my name, the bills were in my name, and all the furniture and stuff was mine. I just gave her 4 boxes of clothes & dvds. She gave me a hug and apologized for allowing him to turn out like his dad. He came home from work and was shocked. While he stood there I took his keys, took the building & apartment key off them, handed them back and steered him out the door. I just said, "call your mom, she's got your stuff." That was enough revenge for me.

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The billboard is brilliant. And yes. I would love to have some sort of satisfaction in a situation like that. Revenge would be brilliant. I would scheme until I boil over. And then when it is all over I will remember it forever. Lol.

Vegemite - posted on 03/18/2011

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i'm not vengeful anymore but like Julianne had a boyfriend from 12-20 who became abusive and an alcoholic. Eventually I was fed up with it. I planned to get him paralytic drunk and when he started on me i beat the crap out him. It was a mistake, he was a mess, I went nuts even put holes in the walls by throwing him into them. I don't know how I was only 5ft and about 45kg. Then I bleached all his beloved clothes.

Now I never take revenge and just let God sort it out.

Iridescent - posted on 03/18/2011

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Is there a COM virus going on?

The best revenge I've found is to enjoy my life, because the person who wronged me really isn't capable of enjoying theirs. My daughter's bio father will never know her, and that's fine. She has extra grandparents (his family) who accept her and he was so mad I called and let them know about her! But my concern was my daughter, nothing more. They had a right to know about her, and she has the right to know them. I'm glad of it.

In my husband's case, we were young and dumb and I was pregnant with our second child when he dumped me. We were both under way too much stress, with me being very ill and our oldest being severely autistic and it wasn't known at the time. So looking back, I can see how/why it all happened. He left. I never restricted time with the kids. I allowed him at the birth of our second, and to help name him. I then went to school and made a life for my family, on my own, and was fine. It hurt him to see what he had lost more than anything, and I didn't have to do anything to cause it. We both had to grow up, too.

Jenn - posted on 03/18/2011

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OK - that would make sense and yes I'd be totally pissed at my "friend" if she was the one fucking my man. But at that point they can have each other.

Jenni - posted on 03/18/2011

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So that message isn't just happening to me! Ladies go to edit your post and then type your message.

Jenni - posted on 03/18/2011

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In my case where my ex cheated on me with my frienemy. I had no desire to seek revenge on her. We weren't friends at the time, I had dumped her ass because she had serious issues. So I believe her sleeping with him was a revenge plot on me for that. The only thoughts I had on her was how sad, pathetic and low she was. She was a miserable and unhappy person who inevitably commited suicide. Revenge on her would have been fruitless. How could anything I have done made her even more miserable than she already was. She wasn't worth my efforts.

Sharon - posted on 03/18/2011

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LOL my husband comes home every night, he's the stay at home dad and has the kids with him daily and their car seats in his truck, if the woman doesn't know, she's a fucking moron and that is revenge enough. But its not likely.

Anna - posted on 03/18/2011

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if she knew he was taken and was even perhaps a friend of yours (or pretended to be...but the whole time was lying to you and doing anything she could to get inbetween you. but all he wanted from her was the odd lay...just my story, but im sure there are plenty more stories like this out there!) then you have every right to be angry!!! but you are right. if the 'other woman' truly didnt know, they have no right to be blamed, harassed or beaten lol. im sure they are feeling pretty rotten and cheated themselves...



(i would like to add. i only found out about the reLAYtionship with my "friend" after less discriet activities. i am SUPER strict when it comes to cheating. one strike your out...)

Jenn - posted on 03/18/2011

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For those that would kill the other woman - why? What did she do wrong? Chances are the slimeball lied to her and she thought he was available. I've been in that position for, and it sucks when you find out that you've been "the other woman" without knowing it, and now some psycho bitch wants to hurt you - real classy. NOT!

Johnny - posted on 03/17/2011

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The law is the same here Nikkole, but he was too lazy to hire a lawyer and his own mother would have supported me over him, so you could imagine how his friends would have responded. He also didn't have an iota of proof that he'd ever technically lived there. I could easily have just said that I let him stay over a lot because he lived with his mom.

The girl he cheated on me with dumped him not even a month later. Now he's married to a very very nice girl who believed he was a virgin when they got married. He's a lying sack of shit. They're expecting in May. I feel quite sorry for her, I know he'll fuck up, it's in his nature. One of my closest friends was still in touch with him. When she found out he'd lied about being a virgin (he told her that himself) she cut all ties finally.

Mrs. - posted on 03/17/2011

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I had a lot of revenge fantasies planned over my sociopath college bf. We lived together for a few years and had a lot of mutual friends. Many of those friends dumped me for him - some of them being my friends to start off with. I had been so ashamed of how he treated me, tossing me around, cheating and verbal abuse, I didn't say a whole lot about it. I finally left but didn't know what to do as far as telling the whole world what a sicko abuser he was.

I took the high road, I just wanted his stalker ass out of my life. I lost a lot of "friends". I used to think all the time about the different ways it would be revealed that he was seriously messed and those "friends" would figure out I was the one they should have stuck with.

Years later, after I no longer really cared or even thought about him - he got arrested for computer crime. Turns out he was selling kiddy porn. Told you - total sicko. Still, the "revenge" didn't feel sweet, I just thought how sad he was.

Come to find out, those people still talk to him and not me. That's right, he's a registered sex offender and they think he's still a good guy. All I can say is - some people are just fucked. That and: revenge is never as nice as it seems (at least for me).

ME - posted on 03/17/2011

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I would certainly leave without a backward glance, but I'm not terribly vindictive, so, I probably wouldn't do much else...

Carolyn - posted on 03/17/2011

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a little walk down memory lane. At the ripe young age of 17 i was cheated on by my first ( now we live in a small town, with a totall of like 7 black people, he being one of 7, he was forwarned, you fuck around ill find out about it) well the dumb fuck decided he would. sure as shit i found out about it, called the girl , who i truly beleive had no clue about me, and well the stupid bastard came home to girlfriend 1 and 2 sitting on his couch. the look on his face was PRICELESS !

i had a gut feeling something was wrong for a couple of weeks.. promptly got me an std check just to be safe even though i was smart and always used protection. that rat bastard was my first. ahh stupid young love lmao

Im confident my husband wouldnt cheat, because he knows it would be the death of him. Either by my hand or that of my very large family's. Seriously though, i would just pack his shit, set it by the curb, change my locks and hand him a business card for the shittiest divorce lawyer i could find.

Carolyn - posted on 03/17/2011

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a little walk down memory lane. At the ripe young age of 17 i was cheated on by my first ( now we live in a small town, with a totall of like 7 black people, he being one of 7, he was forwarned, you fuck around ill find out about it) well the dumb fuck decided he would. sure as shit i found out about it, called the girl , who i truly beleive had no clue about me, and well the stupid bastard came home to girlfriend 1 and 2 sitting on his couch. the look on his face was PRICELESS !

i had a gut feeling something was wrong for a couple of weeks.. promptly got me an std check just to be safe even though i was smart and always used protection. that rat bastard was my first. ahh stupid young love lmao

Im confident my husband wouldnt cheat, because he knows it would be the death of him. Either by my hand or that of my very large family's. Seriously though, i would just pack his shit, set it by the curb, change my locks and hand him a business card for the shittiest divorce lawyer i could find.

Nikkole - posted on 03/17/2011

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If my husband cheated on me first i would beat the shit outta his lady friend, then i would hurt him! Where i live the law is if you let someone like with you even if they don;t pay rent you can not just kick then out or touch there stuff or you can go to jail you have to evict them which is bull crap!

Sneaky - posted on 03/17/2011

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When I finally found out that my boyfriend was cheating on me I was so freaking HAPPY! I was just relieved that I had an excuse to dump his ass and finally get out and have some fun. I probably don't need to mention that he was an abusive bastard right?

[deleted account]

Right now i would love to get revenge on my ex but that is because it is fresh. But my revenge will be finishing Uni and moving my kids and i out of this small arse town and away from him. He cans till see them whenever he wants but i can't give them what they need while i'm here.

Krista - posted on 03/17/2011

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Louise, I love that story about the politician's wife. It's vengeful, hits him where it hurts, and yet is still dignified, somehow.

Lacye - posted on 03/17/2011

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I had an ex that cheated on me. I went home and set all of his stuff on fire in the backyard. I was roasting marshmellows when he showed up to get the stuff. He he he!

[deleted account]

My ex was abusive, he cheated on me repetitively, cleaned out my bank accounts,maxed out my credit cards, committed fraud using my cards and name after stealing my wallet. A bunch of other crap too...I was with him from the age of 12 until i was 20 so it was pretty hard to deal with, but i would never try to get revenge. I actually wish him well, and hope he gets mental help.

Anna - posted on 03/17/2011

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my ex cheated on me and while i sat and plotted things i could do to get back at him (sell beloved car parts that were still at my house, send nasty txt messages etc) i never went through with any of them. never had the guts and can you believe it, didnt want to hurt him!...lol. however, at the time we were getting joint financial support under my name (50% going into his bank account and 50% going into mine) which i stopped. without thinking really. i needed the 100% for rent etc. we were over and it seemed like the right thing to do. i must admit it did feel good when he rang a week later asking "why the hell did you do that? i have no f******g income now! what am i supposed to do?!" ummm...not my problem anymore! i got back at him without knowing it lol

Tah - posted on 03/17/2011

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im a tit for tat person..i know i am....if i found out my husband cheated he may just come home and find me in bed...with 3 friends from his ship. so that everytime he goes to work, he would have to look at them and know what happened and i wouldn't have to see any of them again...it's not even unless im ahead by 10....not worried at all about what anyone else would think and he would have himself to blame because if i cheated on him im sure i would come home to something similar..i think we may be too much alike.....

Jenn - posted on 03/17/2011

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I'm not a vengeful person at all. I might be really angry and think nasty thoughts, but I wouldn't act on them or do anything as payback. The way I see it, to do so would be to stoop to their level.

Rosie - posted on 03/17/2011

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i think i would like to do an act of revenge, but not sure my personality would allow me to. i think one act of revenge is totally acceptable, you're mad, you need to get it out of your system. doing more is going a bit overboard, and petty IMO.

Louise - posted on 03/17/2011

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I think when I was younger I would of gone crazy but now I am middle aged I would probably do nothing but slink away quietly. Mind you a politicians wife went one better here in England she found out he was cheating so she got up in the middle of the night and delivered a bottle of very expensive wine to every house in the village from his wine cellar. With this bottle she left a note saying "this wine is from me, please open it tonight and celebrate that I am getting rid of my husband with the quickest divorce possible. Enjoy!"

Katherine - posted on 03/17/2011

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Back in the day I was living with this guy and working and hanging out with another guy. Well the other guy hated Keith and decided to caulk his entire car shut. Windows and all.

[deleted account]

I've been cheated on and though I've had my fair share of immature comments I'm proud of myself for not stooping to the level of seeking out revenge. I'm a fan of Karma's work let me just say that :) Anyway I know how good it feels years later to look back and know that I took the high road and didn't sacrifice my character over it. He was completely at fault I did nothing that could be construed as a wrong move. So in the event I were to ever find myself in the same situation I would like to think I would be strong enough to remember that feeling and keep my hands clean and my conscience clear. If someone cheats then leave that is the only reaction neccessary in that situation, simply to leave. Revenge may feel good in the moment but regret lasts a lifetime and I'm a firm believer than 'an eye for an eye' is a decision best left to Karma/higher power not an emotional, volatile, scorned woman with hazy judgement.

Amber - posted on 03/17/2011

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i don't know what i would do, but i would probably get revenge somehow. i read something on the stir recently about a woman who sued her fiance for cheating on her in Vegas before their wedding. she sued his smily ass for 65 thousand dollars, to cover emotional damage and their wedding costs. all the power to her. i'd do something like that :D

Jenny - posted on 03/17/2011

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I can't see myself feeling vengeful towards my current partner. We have to think of the kids now and it's not really in my nature.

I did break up with a guy over the radio once though. I requested they play Ugly Kid Joe's I Hate Everything About You to go along with my message.

Jenni - posted on 03/17/2011

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Hahah Oh lord, the billboard was funny. Especially the PS.



When I was young I would and have taken revenage on my cheating finance. He had cheated on me with, what I can only imagine, numerous women (maybe men as well, he did admit he'd be willing to try). It wasn't until my frienemy told me she had been sleeping with him that I had caught him red handed (always had my suspicions).



It was a pretty low moment in my life but when the opportunity presented itself I exacted an eye for and eye (this was of course after I dumped his ass, just a little salt in the wounds for good measure). I'm sure his *best* friend told him, he always wanted me :P cause I spoke to his friend a few years later and "awww they were no longer an item" boohoo



If it were to happen to me now. I wouldn't bother. I'd only be hurting myself by stooping to the man who'd wronged me's level. I think the best revenage is to show indifference.

Jocelyn - posted on 03/17/2011

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Before I got married, if a Boyfriend cheated on me I'd go out and "get even" by sleeping with someone else. An eye for and eye and all that.

I'm not quite sure what I would do if my Hubby cheated on me.... I'd probably WANT to go out and have random get-even sex, but I'm not sure if I could do that anymore lol

I'd probably take the high road. After kicking him out, and quite possibly kneeing him in the nads.

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