ADHD, ODD, Autism, etc

Sharon - posted on 09/21/2009 ( 30 moms have responded )

11,585

12

1315

What is this? Its not the childs fault, he has a mental illness.



You know? If we took every post at its word then at 80% of kids have a mental illness and shouldn't be held accountable for their actions!



I believe in ADD, ADHD, Autism, and most others. I'm not sure about ODD. Oppositional Defiance Disorder. Yes ma'am your kid is pissed off and being a shit head about it.



I see people trying to label their kids as toddlers - YES I know it can happen. It happened to my kid and I fought and fought and fought against that label. ::: sigh ::: But his dad has adult add, the man can't sit still, drives me nuts. I practically have to drug him to get him to sit through a family movie.



But I swear, why do people want to do this? Label their kids. Drug them up? Geezus. Isn't it easier to just give consistent parenting?



I used to do daycare. Parent after parent came in saying "he's going to act up, he has (insert mental issue here)." I kept it in mind but mostly ignored it. I NEVER had a problem with their kids. NEVER over 70 different kids over 3/4 supposedly had an issue. Parents would come to pick up their kids and you could see this look on their face. They were waiting for the "tommy did this today." Tommy never did jack shit in my house because because standing in time out while everyone else decorated cookies and giggled and dunked them in milk while his ass was parked, was NOT FUN.



Tommy never did jack shit in my house because when he threw toys I made him clean up EVERYONES toys while they fingerpainted.



One woman told me she was shocking her kids with a wiring test thing. I got PISSED. I'll let imagine what I said. But she was that desperate. I asked her - what was harder? Facing a judge for shocking her kids or putting them in time out and MAKING them stay there?



yeah sometimes a kid would pull the "you can't make me." And you damn well better believe I showed them I could make them. Dragged their little asses to corner put a dime on the wall and made them stand there holding it with their nose or forehead... its weird? But it gave them something to do and think about. They were allowed to change nose or forehead if it became bothersome.



But I'm sick to death of people saying their kid isn't at fault, he's sick. Most of the time I swear its just lazy parenting or natural energy or shitty diets.



Am I wrong? Are all these kids really sick? I'm just a bitch?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Isobel - posted on 09/25/2009

9,849

0

286

I remember one time (somewhere around Christmas), I had to drag my child through the toy department by the hand while she laid on her back, screaming. I'll never forget as I lifted her over my shoulder to carry her out of the store (still saying NO), a man looked at me; I thought he was about to give me that "what kind of parent are you?"look, but instead he smiled and raised his fist like in solidarity! Now I do that every time I see a desperate mother dealing with a kid having a temper tantrum.

It's so easy to give them what they want in order to avoid embarrassment (I once promised my kids cake and ice cream for breakfast if they left their cousins' house without a fuss) but I must admit it doesn't make it right.

I do believe that most of these disorders are real, that they do deserve real medical attention (some of them are caused by allergies...new because of the new way we engineer our food-GMF,dyes, hormones etc-, some because of previously undiagnosed disorders) but there are nowhere close to the number that are being diagnosed.

I think that a diagnosis absolves parents of their responsibility and that's why they are so highly sought. None of us want to believe that we are wrong...especially when it comes to our children.

Konda - posted on 09/21/2009

281

21

13

WELLLLLL, I was labeled as a BAD kid when I was young....yeah just like it's spelled, LOL. Then again they didn't have all those labels. Actually I WAS sick mentally....unfortunately they didn't know a lot about depression and OCD in kids back then...I was 18 before I was diagnosed.

Now, do I think they slap labels on way too many kids, yes, yes, yes!!!! I don't/didn't need medication to 'calm' me down, I needed anti-depressants. Yet, yes, today I call it bad parenting, people want these little things to take out in public, be oohed and ahhhhed over, but to be quiet little adults not kids. I am a firm believer that all people should have parenting classes....or just be kicked in the ass when their kids are so bad no one wants to be around them....it is NOT the kids fault, it IS the parents.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

30 Comments

View replies by

Sharon - posted on 09/30/2009

11,585

12

1315

Quoting Cathy:




My own son spent a year being observed by specialists including pediatrician, occupational therapist, speech and language therapist, autism support team. He attended a special needs preschool at a child development centre, where he learned coping techniques for when he started school. Only after a year was he diagnosed as autistic. It was by no means an easy way out.







I think that is so awesome Cathy.  Even the "professionals" here want to take shortcuts.  After ONE visit where my son was, to me, unusually quiet, the doctor agreed with the teachers that he had adhd and here is a prescription. 



 



I was SOOOO annoyed.  No questions about my parenting, his diet, punishments, nothing.  We left him and I didn't mention that visit or answer questions about what teachers said at the next couple of doctors.. ::: sigh ::: dammit - my instincts were right though and he does have adhd.  But I got the confirmation I needed and the support to keep up with the right discipline at the right times and to what level etc.  Not just "here's a pill, that'll fix him for you."  I hate that shit.

Jodi - posted on 09/30/2009

3,562

36

3907



Quoting Amie:



I have seen threads on the wtCoM's page asking about their 3,4,5 year old and if it's possible. Or even if they should medicate them because ONE person/doctor whatever told them they should. I can not fathom taking one person's word and allowing them to medicate my child with anything for a period of years. THAT is what I mean by parents being stupid ^ up there at the beginning. It seems irresponsible to not go and make absolutely 100% sure before loading someone up on medication. Good lord.






Amie, I have often seen these threads too, and sometimes feel like asking them what the f**k they are thinking as parents?  I feel like saying "Your kid is 3, and you wanna stick a label on him already?  Give the kid a chance!!!".  One thread particulalrly bothered me, because she was having trouble with her child and was talking to someone else who's kid was on some medication for ADD, and they were discussing how good it was, and she started a thread asking about the medication.  No diagnosis, no nothing, she just wanted to know if the medication worked so she could consider it!!!! 



I have great respect for parents who have gone through all of the diagnostic tests, because I know I would NEVER medicate my kids without this.  I would try very hard to avoid the medication, but I do understand this is not always possible nor necessarily the best thing for the child.  BUT there are too many doctors out there that are happy to hand it out without the full diagnostics.  It shits me!

Amie - posted on 09/29/2009

6,596

20

412

No Sharon you are not a bitch. Some kids really do not have anything wrong with them, some parents are just lazy and then again some parents are just stupid.

I say this because our eldest has ADHD. It took us a year to get a proper diagnosis. Not because they weren't sure but they wanted to be 100% sure before we started any kind of treatment. She saw a psychiatrist, she saw a pediatrician that specialized in kids with ADD/ADHD, she saw her regular GP, the school counselor, her teacher and the principal had meetings with all these people and us.

After all that, endless paperwork and meetings we knew for sure. That's when our journey began to help her. We started with all natural ways. It did not work for her. She has severe ADHD. Many do not realize it comes in varying forms and people who have mild ADHD/ ADD CAN be fully functioning members of society. The ones who are moderate to severe need a lot of extra help and generally end up on some form of medication.

After the first year of that not working she was put on 5 mg's of Ritalin. The change was noticeable. By the end of that year while she had improved she was still behind her peers from struggling her first 2 years in school. So we looked at more options.

She ended up going to two different schools. Her dosage was also upped to 10 mg's after she went through a growth spurt and the pills stopped working. She attended her regular school in the mornings and afternoons went to a school for kids with learning disabilities. By the end of the year she had caught up.

She is now in grade 4. She is now on low dose slow release Ritalin. (20 mg is the lowest dose). She is doing one more year of the split schools before she is mainstreamed back. They want to make sure the skills she has learned will stick with her. Within the next 2-3 years she should be fully off medication. The average child only needs medication for 3-6 years. By the end they can be weaned off the medication and if it's done it's job, they will be like almost every other "normal" child out there. This does not apply to the autism spectrum only the ADD/ADHD. I know very little about autism and the varying diseases that are in that spectrum.

The reason it took so long for a diagnosis is that the people involved DO NOT want to label children who may just be hyper as most children are. The ones involved WOULD NOT diagnosis a child younger than 6 and they had to have at least one year of school behind them. It helps in the process of a proper diagnosis. I find it very odd how things are done elsewhere. I have seen threads on the wtCoM's page asking about their 3,4,5 year old and if it's possible. Or even if they should medicate them because ONE person/doctor whatever told them they should. I can not fathom taking one person's word and allowing them to medicate my child with anything for a period of years. THAT is what I mean by parents being stupid ^ up there at the beginning. It seems irresponsible to not go and make absolutely 100% sure before loading someone up on medication. Good lord.

I am just glad that I have gone down this road with her. If we had waited and pushed it off it could have been worse and taken longer to correct. She may never be cured but she will have the skills a lot sooner in her life to help her deal with it.

?? - posted on 09/29/2009

4,974

0

172

I was in a small town... I knew pretty much everyone that lived there on one level or another... and if I didn't know em, my parents sure did - I worked at the school... with the students and their parents as well.. they're all people that have been there my whole life... I saw them on a daily basis, I interacted with them on a daily basis, I was witness to the police either for or against them on more than one occassion. The kids in that school that I dealt with personally, I knew their families, I knew their parents, I had them and their parents cry on my shoulder numerous times over this, that and another thing. I'm not just assuming - I'm not saying EVERY case - I'm saying the ones that I dealt with personally in that school (I've talked about this before somewhere before on here as well - I think it was a drinking while pregnant thread).



It's not a matter of me saying EVERY SINGLY CASE is the parents fault - I was saying that in the case of the children I worked with in that school - the parents dropped the ball. FAS is a parents fault - you can not say it's "natural" or "just happen, for no good reason at all". There were kids that were diagnosed as ADD but really all they need was rules, focus and some general discipline.



There was 2 lil boys with hyper activity problems - they were wired to the max, they had no discipline, they were given treats to shut up and play nice, it's their parents fault that they're hyper active and their brains aren't focused - they're told to go over there and play and leave the parents alone.



There was one child that was diagnosed as Autism and it wasn't, she was sexually abused (I know this because the mother of this child came to me to help her while her daughter was at school - part of being in a small community - I was there to help not judge.)







I'm sorry if you got the impression I meant it is ALWAYS the parents fault. I do not generalize things like this - if you noticed I only discussed the people I know personally - I didn't make any indication I was speaking of people or children that I don't know.







As for my old neighbor - he didn't doesn't have ADD he's a douchebag that wants to play hockey and baseball and couldn't care less about being a productive member of society. He's a liar, he's a fraud and I hope he gets caught, or proven that he's perfectly fine to do what everyone else is expected to do in life and when he's caught I hope they throw every single charge they possibly can at his using abusing douche baggin ass.





My neice was born addicted to cocaine and heroin. My sister (the worthless piece of trash that she is) did drugs and drank alcohol the entire time she was pregnant with my neice. Because of that my neice has many different learning disorders, not to mention emotional problems, and it's my sisters fault. Toni has ADD, severe depression, dyslexia, FAS and has bouts of bulimia when her depression goes overboard. She is also still being tested for bi-polar disorder and multiple personality disorder recently after a fit of rage at her 18th birthday where she ended up in a mental hospital calling herself another name and acting like a completely different person.



I don't claim any sort of "expertise" and I really have no medical or exact information about any of these disorders but I have been working with and around people with many different disorders - people very close in my life and children that I spent everyday with. I'm not oblivious to what goes on around me and I educate myself as much as I possibly can about the people I am spending time with.



Deanne, I think YOU have no idea what YOU are talking about, I would ask you to avoid making an assumption about what I do or do not know.







Cathy, I'm so sorry that that came off the way it did - I wasn't implying in any way shape or form that any child with a REAL case of Autism or ADD was the parents fault at all. I was meaning to say the opposite - the children that are diagnosed and medicated for no reason or just because - it is the parents who dropped the ball there. The kids that don't have ADD but are told they do, the kids that are medicated and shouldn't be - the parents are the ones with the problems - not the children. My sincerest apologies for not being more clear on that!!!!

Sharon - posted on 09/29/2009

11,585

12

1315

I didn't change my habits during any of pregnancies. Weirdly I craved healthy stuff while I was pregnant, I couldn't eat a twinkie if my life had depended on it, I couldn't stand the taste of preservatives or the excessive sugars.



but my husband obviously has adult add (or something like it) won't get diagnosed, he has self medicated for years by drinking.... it mellows him... now he abuses it but thats a different topic.



When we first met, I mistook his energy for youth - OOPS, lol. What causes Add/Adhd/autism/... I don't know but its here and how we deal with it is what matters.



I think these things have always been around, maybe they're exacerbated by environmental factors, maybe not. What if all the kids who had these issues were just beaten into submission once upon a time, turned into the court jesters? Grew up to be comics since jokes and pranks are good coping mechanisms?



I think getting pregnant by a crack addict, using drugs while pregnant has an effect. I think getting pregnant after stopping these drugs - you can still wind up with an affected child.



I look around at my friends and neighbors and the ones who are heavy drinkers, old drug users - seem to have more kids with more issues. I have a friend who is an old drug user - every one of her kids has some sort of autism, add, adhd issue. Is it coincidence? None of her siblings have kids with these issues. They were all drug free. But she was long over her drug use when she conceived her babies. :: sigh :: its mind boggling and beyond me right now. Nyquil still rules my brain.



I never did drugs, I never drank excessively - I'm not perfect - I was afraid of losing control. My husband drinks - did that effect his sperm? Maybe. Science says "no" now, or did, but who can really say?

[deleted account]

I'm curious, too, about the suggestion that these parents all did something "wrong" for their child to have ADD or autism. Sometimes things just happen, for no good reason at all, and we have to play the hand we're dealt.

Deanne - posted on 09/29/2009

313

246

40

Quoting Cathy:



Quoting Jo:

ADD is NO laughing matter when it's REAL. Autism is no laughing matter when it's REAL. There are far too many kids that are medicated these days though - and a lot of the "problems" these kids end up having come from the parents being irresponsible WHILE pregnant!

I worked at an elementary school (my mom works there now) children with ADD, ADHD, Autism, FAS, hyper activity disorder, these childrens parents ALL dropped the ball when they were pregnant. Whether it was alcohol, abuse, drugs, too much sugar, too much caffeine, whatever - they all ended up with these disorders, problems, VERY REAL problems because their parents didn't take care of themselves while they were pregnant and then CONTINUED to neglect the well being of the child afterwards by being lazy, not discipling, being verbally, mentally or physically abusive. There are a couple kids who all out were neglected. That would show up to school, literally, in rags, with holes in their winter boots and no socks. My family donated clothes on a regular basis to these children and there were even instances where the children would get the new clothes at school, go home, and the next day the parent would be at the school asking where in hell the school thinks they get the idea that they can give clothes to their child, why in hell does the school think it's ok for them to give their child something they don't deserve (YES a woman actually said that her child didn't deserve decent clothes).






Sorry I have to confirm what you meant in these statements. It doesn't read good from a parent of a child with a REAL case of autism.






Oh, I also want to verify that I have never medicated by child to deal with his problems.





I don't think she actually has any idea on all the different types of these conditions people can have.



You definitely do NOT have to be HYPO or have alcholic, chocoholic, sugar addicted, drug addicted parents!! They have very DIFFERENT names & tests etc for these babies which the midwives are highly trained to pin point.



It actually can be genetic or caused by an accident.



The neighbour she speaks of could very well have ADD but a different form of it.

Deanne - posted on 09/29/2009

313

246

40

Well I believe a 'well behaved kid' is not a normal kid!
I was also a horror of a child who couldn't sit still, still can't! But people don't realise that just because you're not jumping off the walls doesn't mean you don't have it. I didn't learn at school, I was very shy & couldn't function if anyone yelled etc. This turned into major depression & mood swings, panic attacks, not being able to eat.... finally was medicated & finally could live a semi normal life! But I don't agree with kids being medicated, my probs were too far gone to reverse the damage.
You need to help these kids young, as young as possible. All kids can have it. It's not like because my son has a few symptoms of it he'll get all the extra attention & I'd leave my daughter out of all the activities. It's all about being more of a hands on, active, educational parent & give your children the mental & physical stimulation they really need.

?? - posted on 09/28/2009

4,974

0

172

Autism and ADD are both misdiagnosed though. They are completely different but they are both medical disorders.



I know a little girl that was diagnosed as Autistic, but she wasn't, she was sexually abused and mentally scarred - her way of coping with the abuse mimicked the same behaviors of some Autistic children. It wasn't until she was going to have a full physical and a therapist mentioned that a few of the symptoms she exhibited were identical to a child she had been treating for sexual abuse, and asked them to check her out down there for that. They saw the indications that she had been sexually assaulted and therapy following that examination confirmed what the therapist had thought. The girl still has a long way to come but she is no longer considered Autistic, because she is not.

Konda - posted on 09/28/2009

281

21

13

I don't see ADD and Autism even in the same category....I am sorry, ADD kids can be controlled often with proper parenting.....Autism is a medical disorder.

Sarah - posted on 09/28/2009

197

14

16

When I worked at a summer camp I had a little 4 year girl whos mother lied about her age so that she could go to camp. Her application said that she was on ritalin, but the mother didn't send any. This little girl actually told me that she had to have her pill or she would be bad. She grew quite insistent so I gave her a smartie, she took it then looked at me and said "I can be good now" and of course she was. I couldn't believe it!



I know that there are legitmate cases of ADD, AHAD, etc, but I agree that doctors and parents are over diagnosing and medicating many children. And unfortunately it is the children who are really suffering from these things who suffer even more becasue often times they do not receive the proper help in schools and other places due to the excess number of cases.

?? - posted on 09/28/2009

4,974

0

172

My cousin was a hyper kid... his mom was told that he had ADD when he was about 3 yrs old and was put on Ritalin. This was almost 20 years ago now. He was HYPER. That's it, that's all. His mom was a lazy cow. They put him on the MAX dose of Ritalin. It completely fried his brain. He is now almost 24 and has the mentality of a 10 year old child - but, tries to keep up the "adult" life, by being destructive. He's basically stuck being a destructive, rebellious brat because they chose to medicate him instead of just chase after him and discipline him. He also has zero comprehension of laws and responsibility BUT because he's an ADULT no one can do anything about it - no one can force him to do anything legally. (Trust me - they've TRIED!) He currently has bench warrants for his arrest in 5 provinces with charges pending for everything from burglary to auto theft to assault. His family has co-operated with the RCMP as much as possible - every time he contacts them, they let the cops know. He's been caught all of twice and he was given slaps on the wrist for this excuse or that excuse. He's shown up at my aunts with 2 girls claiming to be pregnant. He's had another 2 girls randomly show up at my aunts asking where the hell he is because he got them pregnant (2 of them have proven not to be his kids - 2 other ones are still waiting for results) and he honestly has NO IDEA that he is being a bad person. He has no comprehension of what right and wrong are. It's NOT that he's doing these things because he wants to be a bad person - he just has no idea that they are bad things. And it's all because when he was 3 years old, he was put on Ritalin instead of properly disciplined. (There's obviously much more to the story - therapists, doctors, lawsuits, etc - I'm just not going into all the gritty details - just the general story of my cousin.)



My old neighbor claimed to have ADD. Grown man. 33 years old. On disability claim for ADD............... HE WAS A COMPLETELY NORMAL GUY! A bit obsessive. He became completely obsessed with me to the point where I ended up calling the cops on him for peeping and creeping and even breaking into my home but the ADD thing was a total crock of shit. He played baseball, hockey, video games, he was able to have normal conversation, he was doing courses, he could drive, he was living a 100% normal life ............ on disability for a "disease" he "claimed" to have but NEVER SHOWED. It was like he could pick and choose when his ADD was going to affect his life. It pissed me off to no end. I had to apply multiple times and prove this and that and this amount and whatever the hell in order to get MATERNITY LEAVE and PARENTAL LEAVE for ONE YEAR - but this DOUCHE who was living quite well, eating great, drivin a new car, playing sports everyday, doing whatever he damn well pleased all because he says he has ADD -- that he claims to have "got" when his parents were divorcing when he was 5 because his dad would yell at him and so his mom would 'make up for it' and then he had no idea who he was supposed to pay attention too and he bottled up all his emotion and now he just can't possibly hold a regular job.



Before you go jumpin down my back about callin this guy a fake - I spent hours with him, listening to him, I talked to his mom, I spent almost 2 years living in the apartment beside this guy, I didn't come to this conclusion by assumption - I came to that conclusion because that's the conclusion he gave me by observing his behavior, listening to his bullshit and just generally being a neighbor to this fake douche bag.



ADD is NO laughing matter when it's REAL. Autism is no laughing matter when it's REAL. There are far too many kids that are medicated these days though - and a lot of the "problems" these kids end up having come from the parents being irresponsible WHILE pregnant!



I worked at an elementary school (my mom works there now) children with ADD, ADHD, Autism, FAS, hyper activity disorder, these childrens parents ALL dropped the ball when they were pregnant. Whether it was alcohol, abuse, drugs, too much sugar, too much caffeine, whatever - they all ended up with these disorders, problems, VERY REAL problems because their parents didn't take care of themselves while they were pregnant and then CONTINUED to neglect the well being of the child afterwards by being lazy, not discipling, being verbally, mentally or physically abusive. There are a couple kids who all out were neglected. That would show up to school, literally, in rags, with holes in their winter boots and no socks. My family donated clothes on a regular basis to these children and there were even instances where the children would get the new clothes at school, go home, and the next day the parent would be at the school asking where in hell the school thinks they get the idea that they can give clothes to their child, why in hell does the school think it's ok for them to give their child something they don't deserve (YES a woman actually said that her child didn't deserve decent clothes).



And there are a couple kids who have FAS, who's parents were feeling BEYOND guilt ridden they were SPOILED TO THE MAX! A child that had been born addicted to cocaine and alcohol, was diagnosed with ADD, and told they were stupid - they didn't want to listen to the people who wanted to help them because their parents refused to acknowledge they had a problem.



This subject hits home to me on a few levels. Balance is essential in any child's life - whether they have a learning disability or some sort of problem or nothing at all.

Jodi - posted on 09/21/2009

3,562

36

3907

Quoting Jeannette:



Quoting Jodi:

Here's a perfect example Jeanette.....question on another forum "How do I get my son to quit playing his games and watching T.V. so much?". Simple. You say no!!! How difficult is it??? You tell them to get off their backsides and go outside, whatever it may be, but does everything have to become a bloody negotiation with our kids these days?





I know!  I let my kids say their peace, but in the end, I decide.  My husband just says, because I said so.  Our poor disadvantaged kids!  Meanwhile, while growing up, we were getting compliments on how well behaved our kids were.  My husband used to make all 3 of them hold onto the shopping cart, for safety, and to keep them from wandering. 






I used to give them a list of rules before we'd even go into the store:  There'll be no jumping, sliding, hitting, spitting, screaming, yelling, begging, running, wandering off...and they knew they had better keep the rules in mind.






Oh no, not rules!!!!



My kids are always well behaved when we go out too.  We can take them anywhere with us.  We often have very pleasant meals out in restaurants with our well behaved children who even know how to use their silverware (I hear that is a rarity these days, LOL). 



I think one of my prouder moments was when we had travelled as a family by plane, with 4 kids aged from 6 months to 12 years.  As we left the plane, a lady came up to my husband and I and told us what wonderfully behaved children we had, that they had travelled so well she hardly knew they were there.  She commented on the fact that when she saw she was sitting next to such a large family on the plane she had initially cringed, but that she felt she had been privileged to sit near such well behaved kids.  I was so proud of my children (and no, we hadn't even threatened them, and we didn't medicate them in advance!!)

Jeannette - posted on 09/21/2009

911

3

78

Quoting Jodi:

Here's a perfect example Jeanette.....question on another forum "How do I get my son to quit playing his games and watching T.V. so much?". Simple. You say no!!! How difficult is it??? You tell them to get off their backsides and go outside, whatever it may be, but does everything have to become a bloody negotiation with our kids these days?


I know!  I let my kids say their peace, but in the end, I decide.  My husband just says, because I said so.  Our poor disadvantaged kids!  Meanwhile, while growing up, we were getting compliments on how well behaved our kids were.  My husband used to make all 3 of them hold onto the shopping cart, for safety, and to keep them from wandering. 



I used to give them a list of rules before we'd even go into the store:  There'll be no jumping, sliding, hitting, spitting, screaming, yelling, begging, running, wandering off...and they knew they had better keep the rules in mind.

Jodi - posted on 09/21/2009

3,562

36

3907

Here's a perfect example Jeanette.....question on another forum "How do I get my son to quit playing his games and watching T.V. so much?". Simple. You say no!!! How difficult is it??? You tell them to get off their backsides and go outside, whatever it may be, but does everything have to become a bloody negotiation with our kids these days?

Jeannette - posted on 09/21/2009

911

3

78

I'm a bitch too....*sigh*...I'll admit. I get tired of other people's *spawn* acting like little beasts, and mommy and daddy have an excuse on their lips every single damn time.

SOME kids have true chemical imbalances, but most of these kids just don't get disciplined.

It kills me to see a kid "negotiating" with their parents in a store...and you know what? Their dumbass parents sit there and negotiate....walking, talking, working out a compromise... Why can't no be no? Are their little egos soooooo effin fragile now? How did I even survive my childhood?

Keeping kids in line isn't a priority for many parents these days...they're allowed to run around the table if they're bored in a restaraunt. They're allowed to pick out a smaller less desired toy for pitching a fit in the store and not being good the whole time. Just ridiculous the way parents fear their kids these days.

Jocelyn - posted on 09/21/2009

5,165

42

275

I believe that these illnesses do exist, but I also believe that doctors are diagnosing these "problem" kids too easily. They are over diagnosed, and over medicated. I knew 2 kids with ADD/ADHD in elementary....2 kids, out of my entire class. Even now, I only know one guy with AHDD and have met one girl with Asperbergers. I find it hard to believe that every third kid has a mental problem! I think parents and doctors need to step up and take some responsibility; exhaust every other option first (ie diet, allergies, more exercise, herbal supplements etc) before they are diagnosed with a mental issue and medicated.

Evelyn - posted on 09/21/2009

444

21

27

Quoting Konda:

I love the comic Carlos Mencia....his mother's parenting was perfect....first off he said that there was no ADD, just BAD. Anyway, he said when they would go to the mall, she'd slap the piss out of him just before they went in the mall/store, he'd ask why, and her reply was, 'I know you are going to ask for something or misbehave, so I am just getting a head start".


LMAOOOOO...He is so friggin funny!

Konda - posted on 09/21/2009

281

21

13

I love the comic Carlos Mencia....his mother's parenting was perfect....first off he said that there was no ADD, just BAD. Anyway, he said when they would go to the mall, she'd slap the piss out of him just before they went in the mall/store, he'd ask why, and her reply was, 'I know you are going to ask for something or misbehave, so I am just getting a head start".

[deleted account]

I agree, I agree, I agree. I think we've started diagnosing children with things and medicating them far too early, and I think it's a combination of factors. I realize that in some cases these children really are sick, but in others they're either not well enough disciplined or something else is causing the problem.



I absolutely believe that autism and the spectrum of disorders that go with it are real disorders. However, I think that diagnosing a toddler with autism is pretty sketchy. There are some clear cut cases, but because autism spectrum disorders are diagnosed by a checklist that has changed several times since the diagnosis was first named some 60-odd years ago, not only can the behaviors that once labeled a child as autistic no longer apply, but the child can outgrow some behaviors. My nephew is a classic case of this. He was diagnosed with childhood schizophrenia around the age of 3, and they changed the diagnosis to Asperberger's when he was 5. At age 13, he displays very few of the original characteristics that led them to diagnose him with Asperberger's. They have since tried to rediagnose him but cannot find anything that fits his criteria, so he's still labeled with Asperberger's.



I have a cousin who supposedly has ADD, but I feel like he's one of those kids who was just allowed to get away with everything up to a point that his Mom could no longer control him and that was her way of dealing with him.



I used to work at camps during the summer, and we had crazy amounts of children who were medicated for one psychosis or another. Some of the were genuinely sick, but in reality, many of them were just kids who acted out because their parents sent them to boarding school during the school year and summer camp in the summer, and so they were well aware that their parents didn't really want them and just thought of them as an accessory. I felt so, so sad for those children. People always asked why I would want to work with such rich and priveleged kids when I could be "doing good" among poor kids in the summer. But even money comes with problems, and I always felt like I was doing good when I helped them to feel valid and wanted. But I digress-



Anyway, I agree. The disorders do exist, but they're overdiagnosed. Pushy parents who want a quick fix to "what's wrong" with their kids and doctors who are willing to oblige fuck shit up for the rest of the kids with real problems.

Lindsay - posted on 09/21/2009

3,532

26

267

Quoting Sharon:



Quoting Lindsay:

While I don't think all cases are misdiagnosed, I definately think there are many out there that the parent labels to diguise faulty parenting. If either of my kids were ever put in the place that they were diagnosed and needed meds, I'd try changing their diets and getting them more active or whatever before I put them on meds. What's such a shame is that with the rising number of cases and people thinking it's just a "cover" for lazy parents, the kids that really truly struggle with these things become tagged with the same stereotype.






I'd try changing their diets and getting them more active or whatever before I put them on meds.






 






Thats what I did.  I talked with psychiatrists, counselors, dieticians, other parents ANYTHING to avoid drugs.






 






What's such a shame is that with the rising number of cases and people thinking it's just a "cover" for lazy parents,






Heres' the thing.  When I was in school.  I never once met a kid who was so hyper he couldn't sit still.  I never once met a kid who continued to act up after getting his butt busted after a paddling by the principal.






Not until my senior year of highschool did I meet a kid with a hyper activity disorder.  Even then she dealt with it in a really funny way.  She jumped seats.  From empty seat to empty seat whenever the teacher had his back turned.  After a while it was so common we quit giggling.






the kids that really truly struggle with these things become tagged with the same stereotype.






I don't think every case is a fake or a case of lazy parenting.  Actually my problem is the number of fakes ruin it for the kids who are actually suffering with these disorders and the "fake" kids aren't getting what they really need and are being drugged when they don't need to be. 






But could you define the stereotype you're speaking of?





The stereotype that they are all fake and falsely medicated.

Sharon - posted on 09/21/2009

11,585

12

1315

Quoting Lindsay:

While I don't think all cases are misdiagnosed, I definately think there are many out there that the parent labels to diguise faulty parenting. If either of my kids were ever put in the place that they were diagnosed and needed meds, I'd try changing their diets and getting them more active or whatever before I put them on meds. What's such a shame is that with the rising number of cases and people thinking it's just a "cover" for lazy parents, the kids that really truly struggle with these things become tagged with the same stereotype.



I'd try changing their diets and getting them more active or whatever before I put them on meds.



 



Thats what I did.  I talked with psychiatrists, counselors, dieticians, other parents ANYTHING to avoid drugs.



 



What's such a shame is that with the rising number of cases and people thinking it's just a "cover" for lazy parents,



Heres' the thing.  When I was in school.  I never once met a kid who was so hyper he couldn't sit still.  I never once met a kid who continued to act up after getting his butt busted after a paddling by the principal.



Not until my senior year of highschool did I meet a kid with a hyper activity disorder.  Even then she dealt with it in a really funny way.  She jumped seats.  From empty seat to empty seat whenever the teacher had his back turned.  After a while it was so common we quit giggling.



the kids that really truly struggle with these things become tagged with the same stereotype.



I don't think every case is a fake or a case of lazy parenting.  Actually my problem is the number of fakes ruin it for the kids who are actually suffering with these disorders and the "fake" kids aren't getting what they really need and are being drugged when they don't need to be. 



But could you define the stereotype you're speaking of?

Lindsay - posted on 09/21/2009

3,532

26

267

While I don't think all cases are misdiagnosed, I definately think there are many out there that the parent labels to diguise faulty parenting. If either of my kids were ever put in the place that they were diagnosed and needed meds, I'd try changing their diets and getting them more active or whatever before I put them on meds. What's such a shame is that with the rising number of cases and people thinking it's just a "cover" for lazy parents, the kids that really truly struggle with these things become tagged with the same stereotype.

Jodi - posted on 09/21/2009

3,562

36

3907

Sharon, I was thinking exactly the same things as you as I read an ADD thread on the main page just now. In one of the responses, a woman ACKNOWLEDGED that her child responded when she eliminated red food colouring from his diet, but that it was too difficult to keep track of what he was eating when he wasn't home, so she just put him on the meds. In my opinion, if this child's problem is diet, it is NOT ADD!!!



I get really annoyed too. I think ADD is overdiagnosed, and is a way for lazy parents to get an easy option. Yes, medication is the easy option. There is hard work in trying to find an item in a diet that can cause behaviour issues. There is hard work in discipline. I just think that there are a lot of situations where diet and discipline are probably the real issues.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms