Alienation of Affection

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JL - posted on 03/25/2010

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Oh my all those poor men being manipulated by all those awful mistresses who are kidnapping them taking the men away from their marriages and forcing them to pull down their pants.....its a travesty I tell you...we should sue them all.



I am one of the odd ones that completely disagrees with this and finds it a wasteful use of our legal system. I think the lawsuit was used as a means to be vindictive and cruel.



Here is my issue two people made a contract together. Two people got married and so it was the responibility of those two people to conduct themselves properly in the relationship. If a man or a woman cheats on their spouse it is their decision and fault. This ladies husband was a successful lawyer which points out that the man is intelligent..intelligent enough to make decisions on his own free will. He CHOSE to screw around. What does suing that women do...will it deter men and women from screwing around. Will it bring back the lost marriage. Will it help the jilted wife find some peace. NO,all it does is drag out their personal business in public and make them all look like ridiculous.



Her husband is not some poor man who was manipulated, twisted and forced into another relationship by some big bad evil succubi. The marriage might have been wonderful for her but apparently the husband wasn't feeling the same way about the marriage since he decided to screw around. I just think this sets up a dangerous precendence in a society that is already to quick to judge and sue over any damn thing that pisses them off.



Yeah the mistress is wrong and a skank but why should she pay for the break up of a marriage she was not involved in.SHe did not make any promises to love and cherish.



It all just comes off as letting the man off and putting all the responsiblity on the woman since the focus has been mainly the woman. I thought we got past the social ideal of blaiming women for sexual deviancy. I thought we were no longer living under the 1950s value system.

Isobel - posted on 03/24/2010

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I disagree...I think that the other woman made no promises to you. Your husband took vows not some complete stranger off the street. And I say that as a woman who was cheated on by her husband MANY MANY times.

This other woman (and who knows what bullshit lines she was fed by the husband) simply fell in love with the wrong man, and was not likely to have a realistic, honest view of the marriage...

Tell me, if a man is living in a horrible marriage with a woman who is verbally and emotionally abusive, and he has an affair and realizes that he wants to leave his wife, how on earth is that other woman responsible for the failure of that marriage.

It's all fun a laughs to make fun of "the other woman", but these multi-million dollar settlements are ridiculous! That woman can never again have a bank account, she can't save for retirement, she can't send her kids to college, if she does get a job her entire paycheck will go to her husband's ex wife. And why? Because her husband wasn't smart enough to leave his wife first.

I think it's vindictive, selfish, and cruel, and I think that the ex wife needs to grow up and put on her big-girl panties and move on with her life.

That being said...I totally believe that this "no-fault divorce" system is crap! I think that the amount of marital assets and alimony that you receive should be entirely dependent on who ruined the marriage. ie: he was the one who screwed around so I get the house!

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Rosie - posted on 09/13/2010

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they took away his drivers license, numerous times. i know that they check his tax records cause he didn't turn in his work info, and they went of his tax records to figure out a payment. and if he had a job, then they'd be able to take money out of his checks. he's had a job that i know of twice in 10 years,first time ws for 3 months, this time we'll see how long it lasts.

Isobel - posted on 09/13/2010

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AND...when you are going through court, you automatically give them your banking info, he has to give his work info (and tax records) so that the child support comes straight off of his check and into your account :)

Isobel - posted on 09/13/2010

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ugh...here, they can't quit their job...that would be grounds to take their driver's license...then if they don't catch up their wages (and therefore child support) they go to jail.

Rosie - posted on 09/13/2010

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i've been on state medical help for all of my childrens lives, and the state doesn't do shit. instead they have ordered him to take a class on how to get a job. helpful considering that was probably 5 years ago, and i just received my first child support check in 5 years last month.-which was half of what he owes monthly, but beggars can't be choosers.

to me it doesn' t seem like the government cares at all about getting their money back. now leo (my ex) isn't married so i have no clue how the whole wife income thing works here.

Isobel - posted on 09/13/2010

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right, but if you are on welfare, you qualify for legal aid...and usually the govt is MORE than happy to recoup their own costs by checking into the fact that he and his (wife?) are living in the same house, and their wages should usually be considered jointly.

Rosie - posted on 09/13/2010

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he's probably a turd like my ex and gets his money in illegal ways. thus why the business is in her name.

Lindsay - posted on 09/13/2010

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Anyone I've known here in the US gets child support from a wage garnishment. The only way around it is if the person that owes the child support does not have a job.

Isobel - posted on 09/13/2010

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Does Hawaii not have a family responsibility office??? cause you can easily prove how much he owes

[deleted account]

Hey, if I could go after the 'mistress'.... maybe my kids could get their child support since my ex and her opened up their business in HER name.. the 'man' owes the state $15,000! ;)

Jennifer - posted on 09/13/2010

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We are quick to punish and expect consequences when money is involved...but not when matters of the heart are involved? I hope the husband has to pay also...

Jennifer - posted on 09/13/2010

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Vindictive and cruel? And a woman setting out to destroy your life isn't being vindictive and cruel? If you can't do the time....don't do the crime. I wish all the other states had laws like this. I would have filed one in a heartbeat...and I would have won too. If your late for work, there is a consequence, if you rob a bank, there is a consequence. If you commit adultry...why shouldn't there be a consequence. The damage done to people in an adultry situation far outweigh the damage done in other crimes...it is only fair that there be consequences.

Jennifer - posted on 09/13/2010

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LOL!!! I knew about this law, I tried to find out about it when my ex was cheating. I live in the wrong damn state! I guess at least there were enough people living in NC with some morals (the jury)...there is hope!

Sharon - posted on 03/26/2010

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Destroy them both. Honestly - send them up in a gout of flame and vaporized blood. She's a whore and he's a rotten black hearted bastard.

I know we're talking about suing the mistress here, but face it, with the win against the mistress, the husband will fall too, harder in divorce court. Hasta la vista, asshole!

[deleted account]

I would love to say, " GOOD FOR HER! " but it's not fair! You're not in a relationship with the other woman, it's not her fault! I've been cheated on and as mad as I wanted to be with the other woman ( who knew me and couldn't claim " she didn't know he was in a relationship " ) it's not her fault! It was my boyfriends fault!



* I probably shouldn't have commented because I didn't have a chance to read the article!

Lea - posted on 03/25/2010

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Sleeping with a married person makes you an accomplice to dishonesty. Whether or not that breaks the law, I have no idea. I know you can't help who you fall in love with, but you are an adult, you are supposed to know when to use self-control.

Sara - posted on 03/24/2010

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I have to say my first impulse is to say "hell yeah!". I personally think that any woman who would sleep with a man she knows is married is a skank, and gets whatever's coming to her. Might be harsh, but it's how I feel. But I do agree that the husband is just as responsible for the breakup of the marriage as the woman he cheated with, he is the one that made the vow.

Esther - posted on 03/24/2010

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I'm conflicted. I think the other woman needs to take responsibility for her actions. It takes two to tango. That goes for ruining a marriage, but also for having an affair. I don't really care how miserable the marriage was (and this woman has successfully argued that her marriage was not miserable), the other woman still had no right to get herself involved with a married man. So on some level I do like that she's personally paying the consequences for her decision too. However, I think this verdict (or even this trial) is too much. Ultimately (and here I do agree with Laura) it's the husband who broke his promise to his wife and her beef should primarily be with him. Having been cheated on myself as well (and having managed to save my relationship after that) - I do agree with no fault divorces though.

Tah - posted on 03/23/2010

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i was gonna post this..lol...i think it is a lesson that you can't just come in and be apart of tearing someones life to shreds, there are children involved, i mean alot of times the wife doesn't even know how close she is to losing her family..he was a successful lawyer and know that the woman absolutely decided that she wanted the life that the wife had and didnt care how it affected anyone else..good..i mean she will never see 9 million dollars but it still sets a standard....i say get it girl...lol

Rosie - posted on 03/23/2010

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i didn't read the story but 9 million is VERY EXCESSIVE. i guess if she figured out how much her husband would've made and what her percentage of that would be that she's missing out on from the other woman swooping in and taking her man, i think that would be acceptable. maybe in this case that would've been 9 million, highly doubt it, but maybe. i think there needs to be some type of payment. you've totally fucked someone elses life, now you must pay for it.

?? - posted on 03/23/2010

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I think I should get me a rich married man so I can get me some $9 million ! just kidding lol



I'll go read the story now !

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