All real men want their first born to be a boy…do you agree, disagree??

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 08/26/2011 ( 51 moms have responded )

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I was watching a comedian and he just had a daughter…he doted on her, speaking on how much he loved her, that he would be ready with a shotgun when she started dating….ect



And then he said…but I wanted my first born to be a boy, All real men want their fist born to be a boy..a mini me. Some men will say they will be happy with either a boy or a girl as the baby is healthy, but is secretly hoping it’s a boy, and wont tell their wives.



(Im just glad that in most countries girls are not looked at as less or whatever if they are born first by their fathers)

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Charlie - posted on 08/27/2011

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I've always wanted boys and it wasnt to carry on " the family name" I find that whole thinking absurd every child carries your DNA what more do people want ??

Anyway I was speaking to a friend and he is a big , burly miner and he was telling me he always wanted a daughter and thats what he got and he is so happy , my Dad was the same and he got two girls ...I can tell you my gender didnt stop him teaching me how to make traps , build a shelter out of sticks and leaves , surf on reefs , repair my board and all that other stuff.

Personally I think all that olden day crap of "carrying the name" is slowly dying out or more so becoming less important ...

Amanda - posted on 08/26/2011

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All real men want a healthy child first, then the gender second.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/26/2011

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Nope, I desagree. My husband is a real man, (whatever that really means) and he wanted a girl first. We have a boy first and a girl second.

Stifler's - posted on 04/10/2012

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Real men love their kids anyway regardless of whether they're a boy or girl

Carolee - posted on 08/26/2011

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My ex certainly wanted a boy, though. That had more to do with his upbringing and pressure from his parent's, though.

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**Jackie** - posted on 04/11/2012

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My husband is about as "man" as they come. He refuses to call any kind of handyman because he can literally fix everything, he works his ass off everyday and when he's hurt...you won't see him going to a doctor or even complaining about it. Sometimes he comes home with dried blood on his arm and doesn't know how he cut himself lol ANYWAY, when I was pregnant he just wanted a healthy baby. We have one girl and he is thrilled. He never once said he wanted a boy, we only wanted 10 fingers and 10 toes.

Brianna - posted on 04/10/2012

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well my hubby never said he wanted a boy when i was preggo with my first but we both thought it was gonna be a boy lol. so we where both a lil surprised when it was a girl lol. after having her my hubby said he felt no need to have a boy that he loved having a lil girl and wouldnt mind having more girls. so im now pregnant with baby 2 and we have a ultrasound next week and well he wants to no babys sex but i dont sooo im not sure what where gonna do lol.

[deleted account]

my husband was hoping for a girl the first time around so we wouldn't have to worry about 1) my parents being shitty because we were going to give him hubby's middle name and 2) fighting over whether or not to circumcise. having had our girl first, we had plenty of time to settle both problems beforehand.



and certainly, if he was hoping for a boy, he didn't tell me, and he definitely doesn't love our daughter any less because she's a girl. if anything, he was more enthusiastic during my pregnancy with her than he is with our son, if that's saying anything.

[deleted account]

Well I guess my husband is a "real man" since we have three sons and one daughter (she is my last-born). Good to know. ;-)



In all seriousness, I think it depends upon the person. Some people (male or female) have a strong preference one way or another. I know I really, really wanted my first born to be a boy.

User - posted on 04/10/2012

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I think the theory that "real men produce a boy first" is a hispanic thing. Ethnic or not, I think it's ridiculous. No one can predict the sex of any baby and it has no meaning negative, positive, or otherwise.

[deleted account]

My husband wanted a boy. But he got two girls. And he wouldn't trade them for the world. :)

Also, not really worried about Hopkins being lost. Jason's grandmother had 12 kids. 8 of them are boys (men, now). The Hopkins name is not endangered.

Although, when we told my in-laws I was pregnant with my first, my FIL's response was...The Larry Hopkins name lives on! LOL...like it was a given that his first born son would have a first born son. Like Jason though, he is thrilled with our girls. :)

Stifler's - posted on 08/27/2011

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Nah. One of my male friends reckons he wants a daughter first. I don't know what real men is supposed to mean anyway. Like are you not a real man because you don't pine for a firstborn boy?

[deleted account]

Sherri

When you said
"We always wanted at least one boy and yes one of the big reasons was to carry on my husbands name as if we didn't have a boy the name would have been lost forever."

Your daughters could carry on the name! There's no legal requirement for women to change their names or to give their husbands names to their kids.

My kids have my name just because I thought it was fairer - I said to hubby "ok whoever gives birth to the child gets to pick their surname" and he couldn't argue with that!

Amanda - posted on 08/27/2011

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I think I was the one that wanted a boy first, hubby would have been happy either way. I was never a girly girl, always a tom boy and just thought I would be better at being a mum to a boy than a girl.
We have one of each and I know hubby loves having a little girl to brush his hair and dress up and play tea parties with. He has the best of both worlds.
My FIL dotes on my daughter, as does my step dad (she is his favourite)

I have known guys who's wives have been expecting their first and have openly said that they would love a girl first.

I think everyone has their own preferences and reasons for them but at the end of the day does it really matter whether a boy or a girl is born first as long as they are healthy and loved

♥TIA♥ - posted on 08/27/2011

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Well my first two committed relationships seriously wanted the first child to be a boy! My ex was disappointed the child came out a girl, but to this day. That is his most favorite child and she will always be HIS BABY GIRL!

Dana - posted on 08/27/2011

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I don't think it's fair to say "All real men..."

My husband wanted a boy though and we're soon to have two!

And men can think all day long that they want boys but, if they have a girl, they're not unhappy, they adore their girls. My father had 4 girls and said he'd never looked back.



Edited to add, I did wish we would have a girl too, just so my husband could have the joy of having a daughter also.

[deleted account]

My ex was thrilled that the twins were girls (first girls born on his side of the family in a LONG time).

Merry - posted on 08/27/2011

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I know a woman who has no male relatives to carry on their name and her husband has a brother to carry on hus name so their first boy will get his moms maiden name as his last name so it coninues :) idk if I'd like my kid having a different last name then me and my husband but I guess it's important to her!

Merry - posted on 08/27/2011

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Carrying on the name really had nothing to do with it although I was happy to have a boy cuz he was the first grandson biologically for my husbands side.

Merry - posted on 08/27/2011

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I wanted a boy first! Lol I really really really wanted a boy first I used to pray for my first to be a boy when I was just a kid lol. I had a big sister, and all the families I knew that had a girl first the oldest girl was sort of bossy and stuck up a bit and on the line of prideful and controlling. I was the second girl and I hated always being just less then my sister, I saw families with oldest being a boy and the oldest boy was like the protector, the peacemaker, the kind big brother who looked out for his little sisters!
(this is my thinking as a kid mind you, I know this is not how every big brother or big sister acts, just what I thought as a kid)
So I wanted a boy.
Matt also wanted a boy. But he said he didn't care. After we found out it was a boy he admitted how badly he wanted a boy. Idk his reasonings though.
After we got pregnant again we both agreed we wanted a girl, but we thought a boy would be better so we could have two boys then hopefully two girls. So deep down we wanteda girl but we were hoping for a boy to make the siblings paired up.
So when we got a girl we were so happy! A little sad that Eric won't have a brother c,ose in age but still we really wanted to experience a girl.
I was also scared to have a girl because since my mom died I worried I wouldnt be able to raise a girl well since I didn't have my mom.idk why that doesn't sound right but it's complicated. I had already raised my little brother myself and was very involved with my three younger boy cousins so boys were familiar to me, girls seemed scary I guess! Like you could screw up a girl easier then a boy, idk.
Now we are really hoping for a boy next time so Eric has a brother somewhat close in age! But if it were to be a girl we would be happy knowing she and Fierna would be close friends :)

Janessa - posted on 08/26/2011

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My boyfriend wanted a boy and if the baby was a girl I know that he would have been disappointed. Majority of men around the world want a boy because it carries the family name for generations to come a girl cannot do that because when she marrys she will take the husbands last name which she belongs to him. Maybe this is not as a big deal as now for North Americans as the rest of the world. Because to most males if there do not have a boy his family tree kinda dies out. I want all boys to tell you the truth and I am glad our first is a boy. For mothers many that I have talked to want at least one girl.Because if there have all boys usually the family tree on her side like traditions dies out. A women will likely teach her daughter family traditions ect what her mother told her and just as a man would want to teach his son what his father told him.

I

Charlie - posted on 08/26/2011

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What a blanket statement and a steryotype all rolled into one ...... I think we all know that I think those two on their own are idiotic let alone together.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/26/2011

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Well, at least you know you are both fertile, and that you CAN conceive! That is half the battle right there. Have you had an ultrasound since your pregnancy? If not, I wonder if they will to check and see how your uterus looks.

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I was just referred to a specialist, they have to call with the appointment. Hopefully soon.
I would rather know if i cant have anymore. That way i can stop trying and stop going through the whole ordeal of miscarrying. Also, if their is a problem, it could possibly be corrected.

Becky - posted on 08/26/2011

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I'm very sorry to hear that Julianne! :( I hope your c-section did not cause you permanent problems!

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/26/2011

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I am so sorry Julianne! How terrible. When is your appointment? I wish you the best of luck. My sil and bil are having trouble conceiving, and they have been trying for years. They really won't take it the next step, cause I think they would rather not find out if they cannot have kids.

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I'm going to a specialist to find out if anything is wrong. I'm beginning to think i didn't heal properly after the c-section.

[deleted account]

no, i had a miscarriage 4 weeks ago. We've been trying for another baby for about a year, but i keep miscarrying . 3 that i know of since gabby was born.

Becky - posted on 08/26/2011

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My husband wanted our firstborn to be a boy. I have no idea whether that is true of all men though! And I certainly don't think it's what makes him a "real" man! I think he wanted him to be a boy for a couple of reasons. First off, I have PCOS and we weren't sure if I'd be able to have more than one, and he really wanted a son to carry on his name. Secondly, I think he just is more comfortable that he knows how to handle a boy than a girl. He grew up with only brothers, so I think the thought of a little girl makes him pretty nervous. He wants this one to be a girl, but I think he still worries about being a parent to a girl quite a bit. On the other hand, I thought I'd be a much better mom to girls than to boys. But it turns out, I've done alright with boys too. :)

Editted to add, I'm sure that if we'd had a girl first, my husband would have been thrilled and would not have loved her any less than he loves our sons! I do hope this one is a girl, because maybe it will soften him up a bit!

Kyleigh - posted on 08/26/2011

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my dh didnt really care boy or girl as long as he or she was healthy as you stated above...but he has 2 children from his previous marriage, so he already had a boy and a girl both....so we have one together... but really I think he was 51% rooting for a girl!

Carolee - posted on 08/26/2011

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My husband wanted a girl, but our situation is different. I already had a son, and Jason automatically took (after asking my permission) over the "daddy" role. He said that another boy would be nice, but he really wanted a "daddy's little girl".

Shannintipton - posted on 08/26/2011

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Hubby wanted a boy and got one. I wanted a boy too. I wanted a second boy and got a girl. Love her to death. It does make more sense to have the girl first only because by nature they are more nurturing. Girls tend to want to help with the new baby were as some boys want to bounce them like a ball. JMO.

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 08/26/2011

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yeah I agree, it really does bother me, it would not be this way if he were a girl

[deleted account]

Monique it is very sweet how he is seen as the king and is doted over.:-)

Its when it would not be the same treatment for a girl that would bother me also.I like equal treatmet and to view both sexes as equally important and wanted in a family and extended family.I would not want others treating my kids differently over them being a certain sex.Both sexes are very important.Thats how we see it in our home anywho.:-)

Jessica - posted on 08/26/2011

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My husband was convinced our first was going to be a boy, so much so to the point where he didn't think it nessesary to talk about girls names....We have a beautiful 15 month old daughter that he loves more then life! lol. We are expecting babe no.2 though any day now and this little one is a boy and then we are all done having babies! :)

September - posted on 08/26/2011

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I don't agree. My husband is a real man who just felt blessed to be having a child. Of course he was thrilled when we found out we were having a boy. He grew up without a father so he considered this his chance to provide for his child what he did not have growing up. Had we found out we were having a girl I’m sure the feelings would have been all the same. We just feel so lucky to have been able to conceive and birth a happy healthy baby; it's not always that east for everyone so we are super thankful! :)

Elfrieda - posted on 08/26/2011

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In the news it was just this big thing, "Men usually want boys!"



Woo, how spooky and sexist.... not really. It's normal. Most men want boys, and most women want girls. We want what we're familiar with, unless what we're familiar with was a bad experience. It doesn't mean we're not happy when the opposite happens.



I wanted a girl, and my husband didn't express a preference. We got a boy. We're thrilled! (but we both hope for a girl next time around - we want both boys and girls)



But I did tell him that he's in charge of all the "boy stuff". I had a sister and lots of girl cousins - I know nothing about the world of boys!

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 08/26/2011

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My SO wanted a boy and for him to be born first…it’s a big deal being born first and a boy.



Anyway for my son’s first birthday he got some amazing things, but what stood out the most was the fact that his Grandmother that he has NEVER met sent him a card with 500$ a new outfit, and referred to him as a king (because he is first born grandson to the first born son) and wished him the best! (He is the second born grandchild, but the only boy)



At first I was like aww sooo sweet..and then as the day went on it dawned on me that if he was a girl…he would not have gotten that….and it upset me more then I ever thought it would.

[deleted account]

My other half did not care what the sex was.He was just so happy and excited to become a day.He dotes on his kids both girls.We would like a boy but we did not want a particular sex first time around.After two litle girls we all want a little boy next lol.

Lady Heather - posted on 08/26/2011

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I don't know if my husband wanted a boy or not. He never said. But I wouldn't judge because I'm not going to lie - I wanted a girl something fierce. ha. Now that girl number two is on the way he is really happy. I think it would still be cool to have a boy, but I don't think he will be disappointed if he never has one. Freja has expressed an interest in fishing, so he will have a fishing buddy anyways.

Rosie - posted on 08/26/2011

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i dont' think ALL men would want this, but i don't doubt that most men feel this way. i know my hubby did, and pretty much every man i know.

Jenni - posted on 08/26/2011

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Well, I know my husband wanted a boy. But he had a daughter already from a previous relationship. I think he wanted a boy to do 'boy stuff' with. And although, I don't think it was a huge factor but he is the only male left to carry on the family name. So tradition played a part.



I don't know if it's so much as wanting the first born to be a boy as it is, ensuring he has a boy to breath a sigh of relief that he doesn't have to have 4 daughters before he gets one!



Yes, but he loves his girls too. But I think he just really wanted to experience having a little mini-me. Someone to play sports with and teach manly stuff to. lol I know it sounds dumb because having a boy doesn't guarentee they're going to like typically manly things or sports. Just as having a girl doesn't mean they won't enjoy 'manly' stuff and won't play sports.

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