Am I Expecting Too Much?

Amanda - posted on 07/04/2011 ( 60 moms have responded )

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I hope this has not been debated too much or too recently, as I am new to this community.



Am I expecting too much when I read someone's post and expect to see correctly spelled words, words that are real, correctly placed punctuation, and complete sentences? I am not talking typos because those are easily overlooked, especially when someone is in a hurry; I mean real honest to God "this person probably shouldn't have graduated high school" errors.



I would love to know what you moms are thinking!

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Minnie - posted on 07/05/2011

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I bet errors would improve a ton if people didn't have a 1/3 inch by 3 inch space to reply within. I wonder what number THAT is on the COM development team's list?

Krista - posted on 07/04/2011

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As tempting as it is to get annoyed with people for terrible spelling and grammar, I've quickly learned that this would serve no purpose other than to raise my own blood pressure.

As long as a post is legible, I'm willing to overlook most everything else.

One thing to keep in mind as well is that there may be people writing those posts who have a learning disability, or for whom English is not their first language. So it's best to not leap to a conclusion about the intelligence of someone, based upon the style of their post.

Casey - posted on 07/07/2011

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I don't mind if people have a few spelling mistakes or don't always use proper punctuation, the thing that annoys me the most is when people use words like dis instead of this or da instead of the that really annoys me or when people abbriviate everything and I have to sit there and try to work out what they are trying to say lol.

Rosie - posted on 07/08/2011

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if you use google chrome you can click and drag the text box down and make it bigger!

[deleted account]

Wow now you're saying that just because someone doesn't proof read everything and makes mistakes has no self respect or even low self respect. That is judgement.

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[deleted account]

I feel that a well-run site would cope with ALL browsers, nd it shouldn't be necessary to change to, for example, Google Chrome. Some people still have older computers that can't run all browsers.

[deleted account]

The tiny text box is so frustrating! If I plan on writing a long post I often do it in a Word document and cut and paste.

Mrs. - posted on 07/07/2011

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The one long paragraph thing is a bit rough. It is hard to read and understand. I tend to give up half way through if there is no new paragraph with a subject change.

Elfrieda - posted on 07/06/2011

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I always write the first thing that comes to my head, hit the Post button, then I go back and edit it, just because the teeny tiny text box is so annoying.

Well, that's all fine and dandy, but now I've started doing that in emails! You can't go back and edit emails! What are you doing to me, COM??

LadyJane - posted on 07/06/2011

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The size of the text box is an issue for me and I actually have a hard time separating my paragraphs. Heck, I've never even been able to know when to start or end one even through college. But I have at times tried to put spaces between sentences if I felt my post was getting a bit too long, but it's not always possible cause I can't tell what's above or where when the box is rather small...



They really need to have the text box to at least show 5 - 10 lines of text instead of just 2. It's just really hard to figure out where you started and where you are ending.



I'm definitely not an english major and it is not my strong point. The only thing I really strive for is to make sure my words are spelled correctly. I hate when I post something to see that I've misspelled it, but I don't go back to fix it unless it is spelled so wrong it actually turns into another word, then I may edit it.



My only real peeve is people typing in all Caps, not because netiquette states that it is considered yelling, but that my eyes can't focus well when everything is in all caps anymore. However, if we were allowed to use different fonts in our posts, all caps might not be a huge issue for me since some fonts actually make them look legible... I get terrible headaches after reading just one paragraph that is just in all caps. I try to avoid them if possible or I get up and stand on the other side of the room to try and read it. It's that bad for me.



Seriously though, You really can't expect people to use proper sentence structure, paragraph separation where there is so many different learning styles and countries here. Even different states will have a different way of structure when it comes to English.

There is also the differences of spelling between English and American words... Color vs Colour. Both of those words are spelled correctly... As long as you are able to read the words legibly, then you just might have to deal with some of the misspellings or the bad structure...



I do agree with the textese language. I too hate that. I can deal with the LOL, OMG, obvious ones but DH, DD, MIL, those I need my excedrin close by cause trying to translate those can be painful.

Rosie - posted on 07/06/2011

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i've seen ones that Do tHiS anD iT MaKeS mE WoNdEr WhY ThEy sPeNd sO MuCh TiMe CaPiToLiZinG EvErY OtHeR lEtTEr..

Stifler's - posted on 07/06/2011

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HAHAHA smiles don't bother me. People who write their entire post/response in capitals though...

Rosie - posted on 07/06/2011

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know smiles bug some people, lol. i think it was teresa who had some woman telling her her smiley faces were annoying. that's pretty fricking petty and juvenile if you ask me. :) :) :) :) gqtm

April - posted on 07/06/2011

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I like what Krista said! I find that when I stick to certain communities, I see more proper grammar. Here in DM, we don't seem to make as many grammatical errors as we tend to find in the Young Moms group...

Stifler's - posted on 07/06/2011

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I get 1/3 of the way down a post with no paragraph breaks (is it just me or do these tend to be way longer than any other post) and click the X because I can't follow it.

[deleted account]

Even if it may irritate us.We have to understand this site has all types of moms from all educational background's.So lets just have a little respect and take that on board.



I personally, if i can get the gist of the post.I will then do my best to give good honest advice.:-)



Do smiles irritate anybody ?.



I have a problem.I can't make a comment without a smile in there.lol..i mean Laugh out loud.

Just taking the piss now.:-P

[deleted account]

Personally, bad spelling and bad grammar irritates me, but that's just a personal thing. On these boards, the main thing is to understand each other.

What does get to me, though, is text talk! I loathe it. I can't understand it.So instead of getting my knickers in a twist, I just go on to the next post.

[deleted account]

Its not that big of a deal to me. When i get on here i just try to get my appoint across. And if there is a post i just cant read then i just move on to the next. Doesnt bother me at all. When it does kinda bug me is when its the OP that didnt write her post correctly or compltely because then i dont kno how to respond.

Elfrieda - posted on 07/05/2011

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Amanda, I think that you are in for a world of frustration if you expect everybody to type legibly on this site or anywhere. But I agree, it's disrespectful to slap on the keyboard a few times, not bother to reread what you've written, and then expect people to take you seriously. I'm definitely a grammar snob, but sometimes it's better to complain to the cat than to put on my teacher hat and annoy everyone. :)

What I do is gnaw in frustration on my knuckles and just ignore that post. If we all ignore posts that are written all in caps or with no clear point, hopefully they'll go away!

[deleted account]

Well my friend you won't get correct punctuation in my posts.I always make sure to check them etc.These days i am in such a rush and way to tried to be so anal about it.Hope my posts doesn't make me look illiterate though.God i don't want that lol:-P

Tania - posted on 07/05/2011

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The only thing that bugs me is the text talk. I have no idea what they are saying and it frustrates me.

[deleted account]

Yes, you are.

It drives me nuts too (the really bad ones at least), but it's all over the place.

Desiree - posted on 07/05/2011

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Amanda no you are not and currently I am guilty of it. Not feeling well so I tend to post before I check but please remember some of us are not from the US so our spelling maybe different. I have the same thing when someone posts in sms language. I don't understand it so don't do it. I see it as if I can't understand the stuff who else may not so I don't do it ever.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/05/2011

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@ Amanda "I guess I'd better take a look at myself "



I am just picking that one thing you said out of everything else you had to say for a specific reason. I feel that CoM has had me look at myself in a different light many times. It is great for growth, in any way we can self reflect. I am glad that you brought this topic up, because it was irking you. But I am also happy with the responses you received, because you get to see it is not a big deal.



Don't crucify others for grammatical or spelling errors. It has nothing to do with level of education, or even the content of the debate. It does not make peoples point less valid either.



I hope you stay and enjoy DM. Lots of fun to come!

Tara - posted on 07/05/2011

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LOL
Well... the things you mentioned do bother me but I realize that not every mother on the planet has exceptional English Language skills.
As well I accept the very real fact that we as moms are busy and that failing to proof read something usually means that I am in a hurry and can't be bothered.

I find what makes a post easily read by most people is simple punctuation and paragraphing.

I can read, so really if a word is spelled incorrectly it doesn't bother me. I can still read it. I doesn't bother me at all that the poster couldn't or didn't spell it correctly.

I don't proof read, but I'm anal about these things and I am famous for editing my posts for the slightest infraction. But that is self-inflicted conformity to the rules.

Online, in places like this. Who gives a shit?

In a news article? Damn right.
In a website's own written content? Of course.
But on a forum with moms from all over and from all backgrounds, if we can understand it that's all that matters. If we don't we can always ask for clarification.

Minnie - posted on 07/05/2011

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Yeah, the edit box is ten times as big as the initial box we use to reply. But editing is annoying because they STILL haven't fixed that problem with it booting you out of edit the first time you try!

Jodi - posted on 07/05/2011

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Lisa, that is so true. i don't know how often I've typed a post, and then had to go back and edit it. And then there are the times I simply can't be bothered. I HATE this tiny little text box.

Minnie - posted on 07/05/2011

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I think what frustrates me the most reading posts are the mile-long ones that have no paragraph breaks whatsoever.



Ditto Jodi.

Jodi - posted on 07/05/2011

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Posts that are a page long but have no paragraphs. I just can't do it.

Teresa - posted on 07/05/2011

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Run on sentences are the only things that really bother me. How hard is a period and a capital letter to insert?

Christina - posted on 07/05/2011

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I can over look that. What I can't overlook is when a teen comes on here ranting and raving about being so mature when ThEy TyPe LyKe DiZ, ect. OMFG! I want to slap the snot outta them!

Stifler's - posted on 07/05/2011

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I sometimes forget to capitalise my posts. Because I'm too lazy aswell but sometimes I just forget.

Sal - posted on 07/05/2011

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no you are not expecting too much, but between my poor typing, my average spelling and my dicky key board i'm sure i'm a serial offender...

[deleted account]

Amanda, you're new.....you'll get the hang of it! Oh, and P.S. I'm perfect! Everybody knows it, and I can't stand spelling and grammatical errors, but you do get used to it after a while. Not everyone can be as perfect as I am.

;) It's late, and I'm headed to bed. *giggles*

Amie - posted on 07/04/2011

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Imagine how much harder it would be for a person to articulate what they did want to say, if spelling and grammar was not their strong point for whatever reason.

Amie - posted on 07/04/2011

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"but clearly something is coming across differently on the screen than it is in my head."

That's exactly it Amanda. Others may be doing the exact same thing. It's not about not knowing how to debate or having errors either, you're doing just fine. lol

Amanda - posted on 07/04/2011

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I guess I'd better take a look at myself because for some reason, this "silly" little debate has gotten out of control on my end. I am not angry, and I hope I am not being hurtful to others, but clearly something is coming across differently on the screen than it is in my head. Thank you everyone for your posts. Maybe I do not know how to debate! Thanks for showing me the errors of my ways!

Amie - posted on 07/04/2011

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I understand what you are saying but you do not seem to understand how judgmental you are sounding.

It is not about respect for oneself. Many people, including me, don't give two hoots what strangers think about them. If a person is going to make a judgment based on one post, then they're not worth knowing. It's like first impressions, I don't generally trust them either. People always seem to be on their best behavior, until you get to know them.

This does not mean I'm going to hedge away from meeting new people. I do quite a bit. I am just not going to babble about what kind of person they are based on a first impression.

Amanda - posted on 07/04/2011

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It is not a matter of judgement. I read a post earlier today that prompted this debate, and I really am just looking for debate. I guess to me it is a matter of respect to myself. When I put something out here for people to read, that is a part of me, and I would hate for people to get the wrong impression of me because I chose not to take the time to present myself in the best light possible. Maybe not everyone has this respect for him/herself.

Amie - posted on 07/04/2011

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The reason I (and possibly others, I just skimmed the other posts) used the word stupid is because you are very obviously judging others who are not up to your standards.

Amie - posted on 07/04/2011

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I think the posts you are talking about are few and far between. I`ve been on CoM`s for going on 3 years now, I have rarely seen a post that I could not decipher at all.

If you are seeing them more often, maybe you need to lower your expectations or ask politely if you are not understanding what they are trying to say. Not everyone will always understand you either. I know not everyone always understands me.

Amanda - posted on 07/04/2011

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Additionally, I have not called anyone stupid, yet I do see it referred to in many posts. I recognize that some people are just weak in certain areas, and that is okay. For instance, my husband is a horrible speller, but he types everything in a document first, so he can run spell-check. Additionally, he speaks clearly and people NEVER have a problem understanding and communicating with him. He is aware of his weakness, so he works to combat it.

Amanda - posted on 07/04/2011

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So far, I hear what you all are saying, and I know we have to be open to people who do not speak English as a first language; however, I guess what I am really talking about are the posts where you CANNOT understand what the person is trying to say-at all! Is it too much to expect people to develop clear thoughts if they want to discuss them with somebody else? Would you not expect the same thing in a one-on-one conversation? I know I do!

Amie - posted on 07/04/2011

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There have been a few posts where I have had a very hard time reading though. It has never had to do with spelling, grammar or text talk. (Those I can decipher quite well)



What is extremely hard on my own head is when a post is not broken up into paragraphs. My eyes (quite literally) go cross eyed. There have even been a few that I have copy and pasted into word just so I could break it up and read it properly.

Amie - posted on 07/04/2011

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Yes. This is nothing formal. It`s a message board online, for mothers all over the world. While proper spelling and grammar may be a plus it is not a requirement.

My spelling is great, my grammar is iffy. I don`t always remember what I was taught in high school and I don`t have many chances to employ what I learned so it`s gone by the wayside. I also excel in other areas though - like maths. Which is why I handle our families finances, that`s not something anyone would really know on here.

Just because a person is weak in one area - does not mean they are stupid, as the OP implies. For some (no matter the reason) spelling and grammar is not their strong suit.

Amanda - posted on 07/04/2011

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Marina,
I do not point out others' mistakes to them, but there are some posts where I literally do not know which end is up! When these come from the "original poster" I don't bother to respond at all.

Stifler's - posted on 07/04/2011

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No. I hate text talk and those posts with no fullstops or paragraphs just a wall of text. I find them very very hard to follow.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/04/2011

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Let me put it another way, if you can understand what someone is trying to say, there is no need to try to embarrass someone by pointing out mistakes. If you cannot understand what is being said due to spelling and grammar, or text talk, politely ask.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/04/2011

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Ok, text talk is really really hard to read. But general grammar and spelling errors are not something to judge others on. For one, I am a terrible speller, and also I have kids....so sometimes it is just a quick type on the computer and I am not gonna stop to check my spelling....plus I don't care. If I want to be judged on my spelling and grammar, I will go back to school. I have had people attack my spelling when I make a valid point and they don't know how to respond, they resort to a personal attack.. It is lame and childish.



Also, don't judge. Some people may not have finished high school in here. Who knows.

Rosie - posted on 07/04/2011

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what irritates me more is the text slang. whn day tlk lik dis..makes me want to gouge their eyes out with an ice pick...♥

[deleted account]

Yes and no-I am personally a terrible typer and reverse so many of my letters. I also don't seem to space properly either. But that does not make me a poor speller or using incorrect grammar-in fact I teach high school English! My problem is typing in a 1 inch reply box, and bad typing. I also know that many of you use tablets and touch screens are sensitive. So typos, poor spelling, text lingo, well I have to look past it. But there are some posts where I simply cannot read-just because a combination of too many distractions to make any sense.

Becky - posted on 07/04/2011

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I have no problem overlooking the odd spelling error or typo or missed word. I know sometimes there are words I'm not sure I'm spelling right and I don't bother to go type them in and spellcheck them. And there's no spellcheck on these boards - is there? But, when an entire post is typed in text speak or missing half the words or every second word is misspelled, yeah, that's very annoying.

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