Are girls growing up too fast these days?

Serena - posted on 10/10/2010 ( 29 moms have responded )

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Recently I went browsing through a Halloween store. I was shocked to see the costumes that were displayed for 'tweens. At first I thought they were just a continuation of the costumes for women until my husband pointed out that the girls were significantly younger. The skirts were so short and had these girls dressing to me, at least very inappropriate.
Up until 6 months ago I only had boys and thought life would be easy, then we had our girl. Now I see things differently and worry about the world my daughter is going to grow up in, society rushing her to grow up and do adult things.
What do you think, especially mothers of girls? Is our society rushing our girls to grow up too fast?

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Tah - posted on 10/10/2010

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excuse me ladies....but i have to say it...."hell yeah"...and i am not singing a country song. These girls are growing so fast it's crazy. Why in the world someone would allow their child to wear some of these things that they do, i juat dont understand. I see children everyday in shorts so small i only wear them to bed so my husband can take them off. They are in heels very soon, makeup really soon, and sometimes it's like noone is telling them there is more to life then a short skirt. I pulled up from school the other day and some children were at my door looking for my son and off to the side was a little girl in some jeans i am pretty sure came out of a paint can and some little boy was standing so close to her butt she should have just let him toodle her right there. My husband allows me to buy my daughter skirts..as long as the tights are built in or they are a great length.



My niece is so shy she wears shirts over her bathing suits and some of the 11-15 year old girls are out here in shower wear flirting with the lifeguards and peoples husbands, for goodness sake i'm glad i can swim...Their mother's act like it's okay, One little girl was in a lip lock so tight with a little knucklehead boy i thought they were on their honeymoon. One of the girls in karate with us said this,,,keep in mind she is 13..barely..like b-day was in august..."i want to be a dental hygientist"..me.kay that's great..why not a dentist".."because i am going to marry a dentist and then work in his office as a dental hygientist so i can watch him and make sure he doesn't cheat"..who thinks like that at 13.



Okay judge me if you want, but i treat my children like children. They have to leave the room when adutls are talking, or we leave the area, They say yes mom and no mom..etc. They can't dress like a good night is waiting and i have others...I think children should be children and shouldn't be in a rush to grow up and we should not be in a rush for them to.

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Lucy - posted on 10/12/2010

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I do think we live in an age where we (meaning society in general) present our kids with very confusing paradoxes regarding appropriate behaviour.

I have seen some horrendous clothes for little ones, especially girls. Some parents seem intent on dressing up their girls like mini adults with ear piecing, dyed hair etc, when they are still in primary school. This extends into the kind of media girls are exposed to. Over sexualised images of their peers in advertising and magazines. One particular magazine in the UK springs to mind called "Sugar". In their publication group website it is listed as being aimed at 11-14 year olds, and carries such educational topics as "How to get boys to like you", "being in the cool crowd" and make up tips. For me, this is far too young. These are issues for a Mum and daughter to talk over when the time is right.

BUT at the same time we are pushing our kids to dress, act and think of themselves as adults, we are also infantilising them by not encouraging a sense of personal responsibility. So few kids these days seem to go out and get a Saturday job when they hit 14, or contribute to the running of the household, or have a sense of what they want to be in life (besides the apparently mandatory "famous"). Along with this, once kids hit 19/20, they are still at home, rent free, letting Mummy look after them!

As a result, we are creating a whole generation of over sexualised, irresponsible young adults who feel they are entitled to whatever they want in life without having to work at it. We have given kids the belief and pressure that they feel they have to be adult far earlier in life, without actually equipping them with the tools they need to be confident, rounded individuals.

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Tah-JC Pennies is great, the closest one is an hour away so when I can I hit there sales. I've scored some nice jeans for my girls for $2-3.

Tah - posted on 10/11/2010

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@Juleah, i think they should learn independence absoflipinlutely..as long as we aren't pushing them sexually and into situations they aren't mature enough for or that can be dangerous for them mentally and emotionally as well. I mean children used to work in factories also but you don't see that over here anymore either. Somethings have changed for the better, other things not so much..

Tah - posted on 10/11/2010

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liz..i forget where you are...but jc penny's saves my life..my 8 year old...she will be 9 on the 31st still has baby fat on her...but she is thinning out.. she has hips and booty..and well..she got it honest...lol..we have booty and hips on our side..so i go to jc penny's to the plus size section for girls and can get half sizes for her so that she doesn't look like a really short 18 year old in her jeans...i came home yesterday and saw her in jeans, went upstairs and started pracitcing my karate on the spot....smh..

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My girls fit a size 6 jeans, but I have to buy a 10/12 dress for it to be long enough. Needless to say, they almost always wear shorts underneath their dresses since most of them are size 7/8 and fit perfectly everywhere except the length. Their shorts/skorts are too short IMO, but like I said... size 6 waist and long legs.



I will 'push' them in areas of responsibility, but as far as sexualization and 'popularity' (music, etc...)... not a chance.

JuLeah - posted on 10/11/2010

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In many places in the world, girls are married off at age 13. The idea of 'teenager' was one we invented and not that long ago.
And, I don't want to make my 8 year old a sex object. I never want her to be a sex object, really. Doing adult things, often translates to 'stupid things' and I will hold he back from that until she is smart enough to not do them :)
In many ways, I think we baby kids way too long, so I will push her in some areas.

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Thats how it is for my 5 year old, belts with everything but they stay on fine. My oldest is built just like me, short, thin waist, big butt and big thighs. Shes the one I can never find clothes for.

Amie - posted on 10/11/2010

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Liz, our oldest has the exact same issue. She's very thin and any clothes in the right length, are too big in the waist. She's now in size 12 but the waist on all of them are way too big. She can fit a 6-8 in waist so we buy her those for shorts and skirts. It's getting harder and harder to find her clothes that fit properly. So for now, she has a collection of belts that work.

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I hate the clothes I find these days and costumes. I can never find any jeans that aren't hip huggers in my price range for my 5 and 6 year old girls. My 5 year old can wear them fine without her butt crack hanging out but my oldest is not built for them. And people keep buying them skirts that have no shorts underneath but are way too short for my comfort. I see kids from 4 on up wearing clothes I didn't even think about wearing until high school.

Amie - posted on 10/11/2010

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That issue is why we buy our oldest one size larger halloween outfits. At least then it seems to be appropriate. She's going as an evil fairy this year, if we would have bought the 'right' size for her, it would maybe be a couple inches past her butt. Now it's at mid thigh. We also bought her tights to go with it though so it's not as bad.

Some of the way I see kids dress, makes me wonder wth their parents are thinking. I haven't seen anything too ostentatious but there is one girl in cadets with my daughter. She's 12, she's aging out this year. Their last sports night, her mom let her come in a low cut v neck top. =/ It's one of those shirts that are for kids her age but it's meant to be worn in layers. My sister, whose 17, has shirts like that and wears them in layers like they are supposed to be! Ick.

Our oldest is 10 and is growing breasts already. She has clothes that some would consider inappropriate but she's also been taught they need to be worn in layers, as intended. I think some of it is parents are just retarded and don't understand this.

The hormones in our food issue is something I've been hearing about for years.

Lindsay - posted on 10/11/2010

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I honestly haven't ever had any trouble finding my daughter age appropriate clothing. Now granted, she's 5 1/2 and I know the day will come. She's recently pretty much grown out of the toddler sizes and now we are venturing into the "girls" department of stores. I don't think it will be an issue until she gets into junior sizes. But I do wonder if some kids are getting "bigger" than they were in the past, if them being too big to fit into age appropriate sizes and moving to the more mature sizes sooner doesn't have something to do with it.

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@Dana, that's what I've heard and my husband swears it's true. It makes sense if you think about it.

Here's kind of a twist on this same topic. I want to see how you all feel about it. My niece (age 5) is in *love* with Justin Beiber. His poster is on her wall. Her mom buys her all the magazines that he is featured in. She tells me all the time that she just loves his voice. It really bothers me that she is being encouraged to continue with this crush.

Okay, I remember going through a New Kids on the Block phase at about that age. But I didn't own any paraphernalia. And my mom encouraged me to listen to other music.

In your opinion, is this celebrity infatuation just as bad as allowing young girls to dress inappropriately? Does it also have negative effects? Or am I over-reacting a little?

Tah - posted on 10/11/2010

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yes dana....there were some shirts in the clothing store with sexually suggestive saying on them like..i threw 3 in the cart just to see my husband have a fit...he said you have 2 seconds to put that crap back or im going to rip it to shreds....i love teasing him about her and our nieces, but seriously it is terrible...and yes they do say it is the hormones, when my brother-in-law was told by my sister that his 11 year old had her period since 10 and that by time she was 12 we were taking her to buy DD bras he tried to turn her into a vegeterian...lol....

Tah - posted on 10/11/2010

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@Loureen, please tell me you are jokiing...me keeping my lunch down depends on it...

Dana - posted on 10/11/2010

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Don't they say that girls are maturing earlier because of all the hormones added to our food?

Dana - posted on 10/11/2010

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Yes, they are are it's disgusting. I swear if I see one more little girl with some "sexy" phrase across her ass, I might scream.

Sharon - posted on 10/11/2010

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Yes.

I see them. Whores in training with their belly baring shirts & skirts short enough for for a gyno exam standing up. They're 7 & wearing more makeup than I am.

They're watchng shows that are WAY beyond their years. Secret life of an american teen, those" reality shows" my kids aren't allowed to watch that stuff. Not southpark, family guy or american dad either.

Charlie - posted on 10/11/2010

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Yes they absolutely are in this idependance , adultifacted , sex obsessed world .

LET CHILDREN BE CHILDREN .
And yes that means teens too , lordi lord WE ALL thought we were "grown ups " when we were teens but it takes hindsight to realize we were just big kids .

I honestly believe its adults that push this on children from a very early age , not so much sexualization but pushing them to be and act older than they are with these astronomically high expectations .
What i am getting at is people are making their kids grow up faster than is natural in general .
By the way Tah they actually have invented spray on clothes from a can that can be re used ;)

Louise - posted on 10/11/2010

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I think society today is so cruel to little girls and this comes from magasines and clothing ranges aimed for little girls as young as 4. When is a little girl aloud to be a little girl. I have a 23 month old daughter and when I go to buy her clothes I see all the bikinis and short shorts and boob tube tops and ultra short skirts. I don't want my daughter dressing like this so very young. Where are the clothes for making mud pies and exploring the world. They make childs make up and even Disney make fairy shoes with heels on them. Where does it stop. When you walk down the road at school home time the girls are in short skirts and cacked with make-up and they can't be any older than 12. It makes me so sad that my daughter will have the peer pressure to conform with all the other girls and I am probably going to have a fight on my hands as she gets older. Whats wrong with letting a little girl look her age rather than have her think that she should be dressing sexy and conform.

Stifler's - posted on 10/10/2010

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I think girls are maturing sexually younger too. I don't have a girl but I've been one and I got my period at 12 1/2 and some girls my age got theirs at 9 and more and more girls are getting it at 8 and 9 than when I was a kid. It's also the parents too, letting their kid wear whatever they want and do whatever they want and being afraid to say no in case their daughter hates them and rebels.

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