Are you a LIAR?????

~♥Little Miss - posted on 10/18/2010 ( 54 moms have responded )

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Do you lie often to your kids about magical things? Do you think it is ok? Like Santa, this Christmas (if you celebrate it) Do you lie and say that Santa is a real person that comes down the chimney and rewards good girls/boys for there behavior during the year? Do you tell them the Tooth Fairy gives you money for losing teeth? What about the Easter Bunny? Any others?

I personnaly am on the fence about Santa....I do tell the the true story of Christmas, and I explain who the true Saint Nick was...but now my son is 4 and choices need to be made. Do you think it is ok to outright lie to encourage imagination? I personnally was devestated when I found out there was REALLY no santa....how far do you take these lies?

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[deleted account]

Funny story first... My daughter has a project for school involving reading a fictional book and then making the main character into a doll and making up an award for them (i.e. being the bravest of them all or something like that). My daughter chose one of the Disney fairy books (she has all of them). The project paper said that we have to get teacher approval for the book, so we went into the classroom after school today and the teacher said "As long as the book is fiction." My daughter (who's 8 by the way) looked up at me and said "I guess I have to change books Mom! Fairies are real!" Hee hee hee... She knew that her book was okay, she's just a smart ass like her Mama! LOL

Anyway, back to the OP... I am a big fat liar - and I am proud of it! lol. Our kids are totally entrenched in the magic of Santa (the 3 year-old is SOOO excited for it already!), the Easter Bunny, and (most especially) the Tooth Fairy (our 3 year-old keeps asking me if the tooth fairy is TinkerBell's friend - and she hasn't even lost any teeth yet! lol).

I grew up with all these beliefs and they never hurt me. I remember when I foun out Santa wasn't real, but then I thought that my parents must love me SOOO much to spend all that money on me and give me some magic. Around the smae time I also figured that if Santa wasn't real then the other one's probably aren't either, but I didn't care. It was the fact that my parents loved me so much to care about the magic of the holidays that made me happy, not the actual "people" or things themselves.

Saying all that, my parents were (and still are) very big on the true meanings of Christmas and Easter (my dad is a pastor after all). It's just that Santa and the Easter Bunny were fun additions to the holidays. :)

JuLeah - posted on 10/20/2010

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Yah, I lie. I put magic into her life. I want her to always have faith and hope. I think a person needs to bellieve in magic to believe in all that is possible.
Just my opinion
My mother told me, when I 'learned the truth' that Santa, as a person, was not real. She bought the gifts, but the idea of Santa was real. The excitment was real. The exrta kindness we tend to show one another at that time of year is real, the hope we feel is real .... she told me she never wanted me to not believe, and really, I still do. I see magic all around me everyday :)

Desiree - posted on 10/20/2010

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I don't see it as lying so much as creating a magical world. much like the ancients did. For instance Why the sun rises.? In greek mythology the way they explain it is that the goddess Diana flies across the sky in a fiery chariot. They gave an explanation to something they didn't know how else to explain. and nor did they understand the science everything was centred around thier religion. easter bunnies are used because they are a very fertile creature and eggs represent the continuity of life. Still haven't figured out why the two should be together though. Easter is originally a pagan holiday that the christian took as part of thier beliefs in order for the pagans to cross over. Its on the Northern hemisphere during the spring time where the start of life begins. On the Southern in Autumn where the harvest is abundant and hence the continuity of life. Why should we take the magic out of life, Life ges hard enough as it is. The same with stories if you sit and listen carefully every story has a meaning behind it. Think about what Cinderella can teach you. I have taught my children to watch a movie and then tell me what they have learned. try it its really interesting to see what they come up with and thier perspective. same with reading. Cinderella says if you work hard and it doesn't matter that you are different from others in the end the good things in life will come to you. I want to keep the magic in my kids lives for as long as possible. both my children 10 and 12 know the truth but prefer the "lie" it makes the season fun and interesting.

Jessica - posted on 10/18/2010

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Kids have no imagination any more. The TV and video games replace it, they aren't aloud to just play outside...and now people want to take away the fun imaginary things that they get to enjoy as kids. My kids will absolutly have these fun imaginary figures, and I'm betting they will survive unscathed by trauma when they find out that the are not real. I'm going to be a hard core Liar, if thats what using your imagination and having fun with the seasons holidays is.

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Morgan - posted on 10/22/2010

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I will lie to my daughter for sure!!! its fun!!!!
I found out their was no santa because my mom and dad got drunk.......yup drunk and forgot to put the presents under the tree, my brother and I got up to a tree with nothing under it, then they went and got it all from under the stairs in the basement lol even that dident fuck me up.......to bad :P

Julie - posted on 10/22/2010

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No. I am a horrible liar. I have a hard time saying it if I don't believe it. My son is only 2.5 so I haven't had to really deal with Santa or the Easter Bunny yet. I enjoy the thought behind the characters and their stories, but don't know if I can perpetuate the lie.

[deleted account]

I lie about Santa..since she was one she would take a name (first name and age) of a child in need,off the town Christmas tree, and get them a present..then she would go to see Santa to leave her present for the children's charity..she never got a gift from Santa because she gave hers to the children as well.She was more excited to just give and never asked for anything even 5 years later..Christmas is and always will be about giving..she never asks for anything but appreciates what she gets..shes very grateful.Christmas is magical and a time of giving and thinking of others and those less fortunate.I ask her all the time whats the best part of christmas and she says cooking dinner with daddy and giving the gift to the child i dont know.Shes one in a million x :-)

Becky - posted on 10/21/2010

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I lie to my son at least 50 times a day! Before you all think I'm pathalogical... my son is 2 1/2. He is very verbal and has quite the imagination! He's always talking about how cartoon characters are coming to visit, how his toy cars need to go get dressed before we go out, how Wubbsy and Zigby are coming with us EVERYWHERE, etc. And I humor him. When he says he's going to visit Mickey Mouse, I ask him what they're going to do. When he says he got his cars dressed, I ask what color their clothes are. I suppose technically, I'm lying to him, since he did not, in fact, go to Mickey Mouse's house or put clothing on his cars. But, what kind of cruel mom would I be if I said, "Come on Cole. You know those aren't real people. They're not in the car with us. Your cars don't need to get dressed, they're cars! Manny is just a cartoon character, you can't go to his house." I would totally stifle his creativity and imagination and crush him. So I see no harm in going along with it. We'll deal with distinguishing fantasy from reality when the need arises.
As far as Santa, the Easter Bunny and the tooth fairy though, I'm not 100% sure how we'll deal with those. Santa and the Easter Bunny have become parts of the holidays, and they are/will be part of the holidays for us. But I don't know that we'll go to any great extent to make our kids believe that they're real. I really can't remember ever believing that Santa or the Easter bunny were real when I was growing up. They were just characters that were associated with Christmas and Easter. But Christmas was always about Jesus's birth and Easter was always about his resurrection. And that's how it'll be for us. Santa and the Easter Bunny will be there, but they'll be secondary, not the focus.
As for the tooth fairy, I did believe in her until I woke up early one morning and caught my mom putting the money under my pillow! I pretended to be asleep and didn't let on that I knew for a while though. :)
I don't really see the harm in letting kids believe in things like that, but like I said, for our family, they're not the real meaning of the holidays, so they won't be the focus. But we do go get our pictures taken with Santa, the Easter bunny brings Easter baskets, etc.

Jocelyn - posted on 10/21/2010

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I hope so! I think about her every Christmas. I still have the letter she wrote ^_^

Jocelyn - posted on 10/20/2010

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Awww @ Wanda and the sleigh bell ^_^
I answer Santa letter every year and one year a little girl wrote to "me" saying that all she wanted was a sleigh bell because, and I quote, "seeing isn't believing, believing is seeing". So I went out and bought the biggest sleigh bell I could find and I mailed it to her!

[deleted account]

My daughter got a book last year about Santa. Each page has very detailed illustrations of the different rooms in his workshop, and there is a cat somewhere on each page. She loves looking for the cat. We've been reading the book all year just because she likes it.

I didn't teach her this, but I suppose from reading the book she picked up on it...she refers to Santa as, "Ho Ho". "Mama, I want to read Ho Ho book." Or when we see a random picture of Santa, "Mama, it's Ho Ho!" I think it's cute. She knows that "Ho Ho" will bring her a present.

Johnny - posted on 10/20/2010

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I've never heard of anyone in real life saying that either Wanda. I've been really surprised to read that on here. To me it seems about as common as those with balloon phobias.

[deleted account]

Santa is to real, he's not a lie. I found one of his sleigh bells in the driveway when I was a kid. I still hang it on my tree every year.



Yes, I know Santa technically isn't real but I find pretending he is is a whole lot more fun. To me Santa is more than a a fat guy in a red suit. He's that twinge of excitement you feel as Christmas nears, he's that sparkle of wonder in children's eyes, he's the squeals of delight as children open their gifts. He's wonderful, he's magical, he's fun.



You want to call it a lie...go ahead...but for me Santa is a part of the wonder of Christmas and that will never change no matter how old I get and I hope my son feels the same way.



BTW I never heard of anyone calling Santa a lie or being traumatized when they found out the truth until I joined CoM two years ago.

Johnny - posted on 10/20/2010

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I totally agree with you Jodi. I think that there's other aspects to celebrations that are more magical and inspire more imagination. It doesn't snow often where I live, but every Christmas, listening to all the songs about Frosty the Snowman and Bing Crosby's White Christmas, I would transport myself in my mind to a snowy wonderland. Honestly, those memories and similar ones are more important and special to me than spending time wondering how Santa manages to be in every mall and making toys at the North Pole all at the same time.

Charlie - posted on 10/20/2010

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We enjoy the magic of tradition , fantasy and the use of our imagination , children will naturally grow out of it although i havent LOL.

We indulge in the magic of childhood , there will plenty of time for highly structured schooling and lifes pressure on kids to grow up to kill whatever magic and imagination is left in them , i certainly wont be the one to do it they develop out of it naturally , i did and most of my friends did too *shrug*

I actually find it sad for a child or adult to have the ability to escape into fantasy once in a while .

Jodi - posted on 10/20/2010

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I have to admit, I don't think imagination has *that* much to do with it. We give the child a character, pictures of said character, lifestyle, wife, friends, job, hobbies, what he likes to eat and drink, how he does what he does...all the questions are answered...yes, children will put some imagination into it, but I think my daughter puts more imagination into playing "mommy" or with her fisher price doll house, *she* has to make up the story line (which currently involves lots of potty use!) and who does what and even which characters are involved.
I guess to me, it's more about the wonder, the excitement, the tradition, the memories, the innocent belief in magic, than it is about excercising or encouraging her imagination. I love the idea of Santa and all of the holiday figures, I loved them growing up, I loved them when I figured out they weren't real, and I love them to this day, but it's about so much more than just Santa, he's just a small factor in a large equation about family, giving, love, and religion.

[deleted account]

I don't think that there is anything wrong with "Santa" stories and such, but I have no intention of telling my daughter. I found out about Santa when I was 6. But I remember that my brother was devastated and heartbroken when he found out. I guess it depends on how fragile you are? I'm not sure. I won't be doing anything like that though. Imagination can be encouraged in plenty other ways. ^-^

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 10/20/2010

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So I no longer have to lie…until about a year ago, At 7 my son knows it all a Gimmick, but it still does not take away his excitement, when he looses a tooth, or Christmas comes around….ect

Johnny - posted on 10/20/2010

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Yep, I will outright lie to my daughter until she starts to really question it. Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, it's all in fun. I was not at all devastated when I found out that Santa wasn't real. It was no big deal. But then I'd already figured out that God wasn't real, although, somehow Santa seemed like a bit of a bigger deal, lol. I was still getting presents and still being good, so it didn't really impact things. And I think I always knew that the tooth fairy was really my Dad. I'm pretty certain that I never had believed that to be true. I'm really looking forward to taking my daughter to breakfast with Santa this year. It was one of my favorite things to do as a kid.

Becky - posted on 10/20/2010

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My children full well know what is real and fake and won't take made up fairt tale answers. My oldest girl will just glare at me.....so I am up front and to the point with her. Beside I could not lie to even save my own life.

Jodi - posted on 10/20/2010

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Funny story, as kids, mom used to let us watch jeopardy...weird, but it was better for us than cartoons I guess! lol (I still LOVE jeopardy to this day.) NEwayz, that's how my oldest sister found out that the easter bunny wasn't real...the category was fictional characters and the correct answer was the Easter Bunny! lol Didn't devestate her, but she was only 5 or 6 at the time.

Tracey - posted on 10/20/2010

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Considering Christmas was a pagan festival celebrating the winter solstice that was hijacked by Rome in the 4th century, I would suggest that the christians are lying as much as everyone else.

I told my kids about Santa, tooth fairy etc they don't believe any more but still put their stockings out every Christmas Eve, although my son now makes Santa traps involving trip wires and water bombs just to see who brings him presents.

Jenn - posted on 10/20/2010

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Well, first of all, ALL people lie at some time and in their own way. That being said - yes I do Santa, Tooth Fairy (or will when they lose teeth), Easter Bunny, etc. I remember finding out Santa wasn't real and it certainly did not devastate me. My Mum said as long as we still "believe" in Santa we will always still get gifts from him - so I still believe. ;)

Nikki - posted on 10/20/2010

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I am a liar, there was nothing more magical as a child than setting out a plate of biscuits, milk and beer in my case for Santa on Christmas eve. Trying to stay awake as long as I possibly could to see if I could hear the reindeer's on our roof, and of course the excitement and joy of Christmas morning. I LOVE Christmas, I love giving gifts to the people I love and I love seeing children experience the joy I remember from those magical times, I will be a liar as long as I possibly can be! Yes I was a little upset when I found out the truth, not because my parents lied to me but because I wouldn't be able to celebrate Santa any more.

[deleted account]

Ummm...I never really believed in Santa or the Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy. I don't really know why, but it probably had to do with being very, very young and waking up to see my mom putting presents under the tree that was in a room without a fireplace. I took it very well and went right back to sleep like it never happened, then woke up the next day and got my presents. I didn't care, haha. My parents didn't try to force the idea either. I have always been a logical person and I knew better, I guess.

But I don't remember a single thing about Easter or the Tooth Fairy, probably because I never believed in them anyway. My parents just handed me money for my teeth, and they pulled most of my baby teeth out anyway for some stupid reason. If it got loose and I said something about it, or even if I didn't and they found out and it had been loose for a while, they pulled it. Ugh! I also never enjoyed hunting for Easter eggs because my mom got so mad the first Easter I remember because I didn't feel good and didn't want to go out, so she pulled my hair. She says I tripped and all she could grab was my long braid, but I beg to differ, because I remember her dragging me outside by it too, and I told my grandma when I got home that day. She remembers. My family has issues...

As for myself and my husband, hubby believed in Santa until he was six or so because his dad is tactless too sometimes and his mom blurted it out before his dad could. We've decided, though, to pretend that Santa is real because my hubby wants to.

Our baby girl is gonna believe in all the fairy tales unless she decides not to.

I may not believe in Santa Claus, but I certainly believe in fairies ;)

Amie - posted on 10/18/2010

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I think the fake symbols have more to do with everything being politically correct.

My children do know the "truth" about Santa once they're old enough to start asking. Even then, they still believe. It's more the message we care about than the actual "person". For example, two Christmases ago our oldest had a school project. They had to write up a Christmas wish for everyone. While there were a few who wished that everyone got what they wanted, etc. (material things) our daughter's wish was for everyone to keep warm. We live in Canada, so obviously it's bloody cold out during Christmas. I have the picture in one of my albums on FB. It was so sweet. That is what we hope our kids take from things like Santa Clause, to care and give to others that need it more than we do.

We do the adopt a family at Christmas too. They have fun picking out toys for the family and helping us fill a box with Christmas meal items. I remember being a child and going down to serve Christmas supper for those less fortunate. As well as the games and fun we all had there.

Those are the kinds of memories I want my children to have, that kind of magic is the magic Santa helps bring to our Christmases. If that makes sense. We tie it all in together.

As for the tooth fairy and Easter bunny. We do the tooth fairy just because it's fun for them. They wake up so excited about getting money for a tooth. The Easter bunny, well he brings a ton of chocolate and a few toys. They're quite happy with that but since it's one we don't talk much about, mine have never asked. Though I'm fairly sure our oldest two know it's not a bunny running around dropping off stuff at people's homes. LOL

Cat - posted on 10/18/2010

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Yep, I lie, and pretty proud of it... I think Santa, the Easter bunny and the tooth fairy are all intrical pieces of childhood, and I'm not going to deny my kids a belief in magic, and the ability to use their imaginations... I'll be very sad the day they no longer believe :( Now if Santa was teaching kids to rob banks, and the Easter Bunny was caught smoking crack, I'd be less likely to want them to influence their childhoods BUT as is, they're completely harmless and fun-filled, so, no big deal to continue the deception...

Jackie - posted on 10/18/2010

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I'm no liar. But I do Santa, Easter Bunny and the whole nine. They are real... real traditions.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 10/18/2010

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Very funny Sarah! LOL...I was 5 when I found out Santa was a big fat lie, and it hurt. I had 2 older sisters, and one of them loved to tease me, that is how I found out...spitefully!

I have not decided about Santa, so far I have told my son that he was real...te true story...but I emphasise the true meaning of Christmas. These days life seems so focused on the magic of the fake dude that the true meaning seems lost....everywhere you turn during the holidays is fake symbols...I think I am not going to lie and let him know the truth. The spirit behind the idea of Santa Claus. To each there own,

September - posted on 10/18/2010

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We do all of the above with our son minus the tooth fairy since he's only two and his teeth are still coming in not falling out :) I guess you could call me a liar, if you want to. It's more fun than anything in my opinion and I don't think it will harm our son in any way so we are ok with creating fun for our son.

[deleted account]

Finding out that Santa wasn't real wasn't devastating for me. I just kind of realized it on my own, then kept pretending for the fun of it! We do Santa and company for our daughter. But we focus on the religious meanings behind the holidays with Santa and company as a fun extra.

Jodi - posted on 10/18/2010

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My favorite part of the holidays growing up was believing in and playing up the make beleive side of things. I was never devestated to learn the truth, it just kind of happened at a point in life where I figured it out on my own...but I still "believe" in Santa, or like to think I do! I also grew up believing in Jack the pumpkin who traded half of your Halloween Candy for a present, the magic elf on a shelf (which I have bought to continue with my children), the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy...all of it and I still love it to this day!

Yes, I'm a big fat liar...I lie to my children to add something to their lives, to let them believe in magic while they're still young enough to be in awe and wonder of it, create memories and traditions. I lie about the things Sarah Moulton mentioned...and that the batteries are dead (when in fact I've taken them out), that we don't have any treats in the house, and that she stinks very badly when she doesn't want to take a bath!

I'm proud to lie about the magical things of the holiday, Jaelyn at 20 months is already SO excited for Jack the magic pumpkin to come visit her house! Every smile, giggle, moment of wonder or excitement and added memory to her collection is worth it all and then some.

[deleted account]

My kids have excellent imagination and creativity. Doing Santa, etc... doesn't CAUSE creativity in a child anymore than not doing them kills it.

Rosie - posted on 10/18/2010

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i lie to them until this past year. i got tired of trying to hide everything and make it seem all magical, lol!! my first child is the one who got lied too, his 2 younger brothers won't be, lol! grant didn't freak out or anything, he just said, ok. whatever.

[deleted account]

Sarah Moulton, do you wanna be my NBF? THAT was some funny shit!

Having an imagination and being creative is a wonderful thing.

[deleted account]

I don't do Santa, the Tooth Fairy, or the Easter Bunny. I don't care if other families choose to do them (just about everyone I know does), but it wasn't right for my family.

Sharon - posted on 10/18/2010

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We go all out for santa. We tell the story of Jesus birth and santa claus. Santa claus is represented by men who dress up as him but he is really just a spirit that we keep alive through our belief in the goodness of people. something like that.

I was not devastated when I found out there was no physical santa. My parents told me long ago that santa had died but maybe through magic I'd still get a gift from him. LOL the magic was that my parents found the money to get us the big gifts that they did.

We do NORAD following santa every year, the kids love it, its cute as hell. Santa is a magical spirit and that is what the radar is following because no real being could travel like that, that fast and live.

Meghan - posted on 10/18/2010

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I don't consider this a lie. A lie is an omission of a truth that could hurt someone (or get you *EDIT* out of trouble). Call me a big fat filthy liar if you want but I enjoy it, it's a family tradition, and it brings so much happiness to a child's face!

I think it's mean and grinch like to take this away from your child..but that's just my opinion. And sure kids may be "devastated" at first but you get over it, and look forward to playing Santa when they have kids.

Kimberly - posted on 10/18/2010

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"AND I've told them that when the ice-cream van is playing music, it means they've run out of ice-cream!"

Good one!! Have to jot that down for future reference and usage.

Sarah - posted on 10/18/2010

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Yep! I'm a liar! I do the whole Santa, Tooth Fairy etc.
I also tell the kids that those silly ride machines they have in shopping centres and stuff are broken when they're not!
I've told them that the alarms in supermarkets will go off if they're naughty!
AND I've told them that when the ice-cream van is playing music, it means they've run out of ice-cream!
Mwhahahahahaha! ;)

Kimberly - posted on 10/18/2010

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Call me Pinocchio! I grew up believing in the magic of that trio and intend to carry on the tradition of belief. I've never met anyone that was traumatized after knowing the "truth". It's fun to make believe and encourage imagination.



* And I am clapping for the fairies! I believe! I believe!

[deleted account]

I'm not at that stage yet Logan's only 10 months old but I will be doing what we had when we were little - santa, tooth fairy and easter bunny. Whats the harm in creating some excitement for children. I doubt many children are severely scarred for life from finding out the truth....just in the same way I was scarred for life when I found out what a mammy and daddy special hug really was!

Bonnie - posted on 10/18/2010

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My boys are too young too understand really I think so I haven't gotten to that point yet. I mean my 4 year old is probably just getting to the point where he realises what is going on so he knows of Santa. I wouldn't really call it telling lies. It hasn't gotten to the point yet where he outright asks, is there really a Santa Claus? But when the time comes that he does question it, we will probably outright tell him. For now, they are young and deserve to have fun and look forward to what these kind of things bring.

Lindsay - posted on 10/18/2010

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Meh, it's all in good fun. We do the Santa thing up big in our house. My daughter is 5 and is really excited about the tooth fairy coming whenever she loses her first tooth. The kids get Easter baskets but we don't make a big deal of the Easter Bunny but that morning we do tell them to see if he came to visit. These are all fun and magical things that I feel all children should have in their lives. I know that I still get excited on Christmas Eve and have trouble sleeping. Even though "Santa" may not be that old, fat man in the red suit, he's still very much alive and well in our home. :)

Tah - posted on 10/18/2010

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call me what you like but i do all of those for my children. I think there is so much going on in the world and for them to worry about that it's nice for them believe in those things. My 13 year old knows and he isn't in any therapy behind it and i doubt the other 2 will be either....

LaCi - posted on 10/18/2010

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I haven't gotten there yet. I see myself doing some of it though. The tooth fairy, and santa clause. I think most kids know the easter bunny is a load of bullshit anyway, they just go along with it to get candy. Anyway, I think all the "magic" about santa clause if just good fun for little kids. I don't think I'll try to use santa as some incentive for good behavior, I just think he's fun.

Jodi - posted on 10/18/2010

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Personally, I think there is more to it if you are *devastated* by finding out the truth to the extent that it bothers you as an adult. But that's just my opinion.



I actually do remember when and how I found out (I was 8 and some older kids at school told me) and while I initially didn't want to believe it, I couldn't say it particularly traumatised me. I can't remember it bothering me all that much at all. My 7 year old brother found at at that same time, and he's not fussed by it either.



I've raise my kids with Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, etc. I don't see them as "outright lies" just "harmless white lies". My 13 year old knows the truth. He found out when I told him (and yes, he really DID find out when I told him the truth, believe me, I know it sounds far-fetched, but I have my reasons for knowing this). He's not traumatised. If anything, he felt suddenly part of an adult world, and we involved him in the "santa" role that year with his sister and step-brother.

[deleted account]

I guess I must be a liar.... I do Santa, easter Bunny and the tooth fairy. I can honestly say I had all these things in my childhood and finding out the truth did not harm me in any way. I do not feel bitter about the "lies" and finding out the truth was not traumatic. In fact I don't even actually remember how or when I found out the truth.

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