Babywise

Jessica - posted on 03/28/2011 ( 71 moms have responded )

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http://www.salon.com/life/feature/1998/0...



I came across this article the other day. Its very interesting and a thorough critique of the book On Becoming Babywise. This book is a real hot topic and I've read all kinds of things about how horrible it is, but this article is very detailed and eye opening. It is long, but probably worth reading if you have ever considered Babywise. I will admit right now that I have never actually read the book. I know, I know- I probably have no place posting a conversation about a book I've never even read. But, funds are low and I really don't want to pay for a book I know I'm probably going to hate anyway. I almost wish someone would give me a copy so I can read it for myself finally, to see for myself what all the hype is about!



Has anyone "used" Babywise methods, or known anyone who has? What do you think of the book, particularly in light of the article? What I found most shocking about the article is just how much of the methods and ideas in the book are not only backed by any research or scientific information, but are based on religious dogma and poorly interpreted Bible scripture. What do you think about such a popular childcare book being based on someone's religious views?

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Minnie - posted on 03/29/2011

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I can TOTALLY see this book working for a baby with a complacent personality- one of those who doesn't want to nurse frequently, and is fine going down to sleep. I also can totally see it working for a mother with a large milk storage capacity.



But reality is- not all babies have the same sleep, nutrition and bodily contact needs. Not all mothers have the same breastmilk storage capacity. Some mothers NEED to nurse very frequently to maintain adequate milk production- if they go longer than two hours without nursing their breasts begin involution and reduce milk production due to their breasts being at full storage capacity.



Some babies are high-bodily contact need babies. Both of my girls were one of them. My second wanted to nurse many times an hour. But it did not phase me or 'wear me out' as Gary Ezzo assumes it will, because all I did was pop her in a sling and nurse her on the go. Just like mothers across the globe do and have for as long as humans have existed. When she woke to nurse during the night (that's another thing- yes, SOME babies sleep through the night, but Gary Ezzo claims that ALL should be able to by eight weeks) I latched her on and went back to sleep. Ahhh, but Gary Ezzo wouldn't like the bedsharing, because that is the MARRIAGE BED- and is sacred for husband and wife. Never mind that 90% of the world cosleeps.



To add: I'm not saying that baby wearing and cosleeping are what everyone should do. Rather, I'm pointing out that Ezzo makes sweeping generalizations regarding infant and maternal physiology. When in reality, it is the minority of humanity that could easily comply with his program. Humans are frequent nursers biologically. We're primates, and that's how our bodies work. Complacent babies who don't nurse frequently die in the wild. Yes, we are not in the bush, but biology doesn't change because Ezzo thinks it should.

Charlie - posted on 03/28/2011

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The books basic premise goes against just about every major paediatric association and health organizations well founded and researched advice - especially when it comes to infant feeding practices.

A paper released by the American Academy of Paediatrics states:

On Becoming Babywise,
has raised concern among pediatricians
because it outlines an infant feeding program
that has been associated with failure to thrive
(FTT), poor weight gain, dehydration, breast
milk supply failure, and involuntary early
weaning. A Forsyth Medical Hospital Review
Committee, in Winston-Salem N.C., has listed
11 areas in which the program is inadequately
supported by conventional medical practice.
The Child Abuse Prevention Council Of Orange
County, Calif., stated its concern after
physicians called them with reports of
dehydration, slow growth and development,
and FTT associated with the program. And on
Feb. 8, AAP District IV passed a resolution
asking the Academy to investigate
“Babywise,” determine the extent of its effects
on infant health and alert its members, other
organizations and parents of its findings.

Does it make my skin crawl that a man whos own children have disowned him and want nothing to do with him are "teaching " parents , that every medical association is against his every bit of flawed logic ? that his own church have named unfit to be minister and further more distanced themselves from him and his "teachings " because it is "fraught with danger" , that his own publisher cancelled the contracts due to the very warnings against ezzo and babywise due to the AAP's warnings , does it make my skin crawl this ill informed man is "teaching" people how to parent ? absolutely .

Minnie - posted on 03/28/2011

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Hahahahah and on page 100, he talks about seeing a lactation consultant if breastfeeding isn't going well- BUT



(paraphrasing)beware the boobie witch- because she will tell you to nurse more frequently! And carry your baby in a sling while doing so! If she tells you that you probably should look elsewhere for advice.



So- baby is not gaining weight, you are not making enough milk, go see the lactation consultant, the person trained in helping mothers breastfeed, but if she tells you anything that goes against this book please discount her advice.

Minnie - posted on 03/28/2011

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Regardless of whether or not he promotes hyperscheduling, what say you to the blatant erroneous breastfeeding information contained within? The erroneous sleep information? The assumptions made as to the goals and emotions of attachment parents? The stark black and white pictures he paints with the two imaginary children- his PDF child, which is perfect, and the obvious blathering mess of the attachment parented child (whom he refers to as child-centered parenting).

Is it not concerning that he actually makes up imaginary biological processes? Metabolic chaos created by breastfeeding too frequently? Come on...

How can anyone take his word on physiological processes when he weaves this ficticious account of made up families, horrible breastfeeding and sleep information and provides diddly squat for citations and research?

Bondlets - posted on 03/28/2011

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I've used it for 9 babies and taught it for years. BUT, I teach it along with other parenting books and always stress balance (which is stressed in the book if one reads it, too). I've chastised parents for hyperscheduling who've used it but more often see great results from those who use it with a level head and within context. It's not for every family/child but it works for our crew.

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Kate CP - posted on 03/29/2011

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Meh. I'll stick with following my instincts and my baby's cues.

Cassie - posted on 03/29/2011

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I totally agree Erin. He has no business doling out advice on infant nutrition. His advice can be dangerous to so many babies out there.

I will say, my girls fit into Ezzo's idea of a schedule. I think I have very large milk stores though. Both girls were feeding almost exactly every 2 hours until they were two to three months old and then both moved to every three hours. While that is what my girls led me to do feeding schedule wise, so many other babies and mothers would not benefit from a "schedule" like that. His advice that babies should be set to a schedule like that has caused FTT and unsuccessful breastfeeding relationships between mothers and babies.

Ez - posted on 03/29/2011

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Karla you are taking this far too personally. We are criticizing the book, not 'bashing' the parents who use it. The OP asked for opinions on the book, and we gave it.

Since you seem to have taken such exception to my words, I will try to elaborate. It is more than just the instructional advice that I disagree with. It is the overall tone of the book (which Jessica actually touched on earlier). Ezzo is a crackpot who believes children are born bad, and need to be broken and controlled. He has ZERO qualifications and clearly lacks an understanding of child development and nutrition. Portraying himself as an expert is a farce.

Jessica - posted on 03/29/2011

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Yes- bashing/tearing apart THE BOOK- not your personal parenting. Unless you follow every single thing in Babywise to the letter, then you shouldn't take our picking apart the book personally. Because we weren't bashing things you said you personally did, we were bashing things that are in the book. And I'm pretty sure you said that you took some parts and left others when using it with your children- THAT is your personal parenting style and I can't really argue with that, nor do I necessarily wish to.

Karla - posted on 03/29/2011

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Jessica-Thank you for your respectful debate. I will address as much as possible in response to your last post.



I disagree with your belief that no one is bashing my parenting style. To say it is "horrendous", but "Oh I haven't read the entire book either. I refuse to buy it. But I have seen enough excerpts online to form an opinion. My opinion is that it makes me want to vomit."....is nothing but bashing. To make comments such as this ESPECIALLY without reading it, is absolutely bashing.



Also to say, in another coversation, "I was busy tearing apart Babywise.".....you say tearing apart, I say bashing. Same difference. Not trying to be snide here, but you really can't deny me on this one.



Babywise does not recommend "scheduling from the time they are born". On page 77 it reads "The is only one babywise rule for the first week to ten days.....take the clocks, turn and face them against the wall. We do not want you to look at the clock but rather focus on one thing. Work on getting a FULL feeding from your baby at each feeding." I agree with you Jessica, newborns often fed less than 2.5 hours, but if you are using babywise and focus on full feedings, they often make it to 2.5 hours. And if they don't......YOU FEED THEM:)



As far as your point regarding babywise being based on his interpretation of religious dogma. I am a nurse and I am very research driven, however I will have to agree with the person who stated she wouldn't have cared if the "author was a green guy from Mars because what she gave me worked".



As far as the concept of "disguised child hate" and the other info you asked about in the last paragraph, there was none of the version of Babywise that I read. But again, he can believe what ever he wants and base it on whatever he wants because it worked for me.



I have a very dear friend who was pregnant with her first. She had researched Babywise and came to me with questions about my experiences. I told her how I felt about it but, there were parts I wasn't comfortable with. She decided prior to giving birth, that she wanted to try it. He daughter was born 4 weeks early and had terrible reflux. Babywise didn't work well for them at first. But she used the parts that did work and once her daughter was older and her reflux was better, she did great.



I know it isn't for everyone. I agree that much of it is not research based. I agree that his some of the statements about pumping are wrong. Let me just point out, it hasn't been updated since 2001. I don't push it on anyone that doesn't ask me about it.



I also don't believe that it is the ONLY WAY to raise happy, healthy children. I have another dear friend who is AP, and her 3 yo daughter is also a joy to be around. Just have some respect for other mothers....the Pro-babywisers, the Anti-circ's, the extended BF'ers, ALL OTHER MOTHERS.

Celeste - posted on 03/29/2011

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BTW, I know it works great for some families and many moms will be able to nurse on his program. But Ezzo just seems to sweep all babies and all moms who cue feed with the same brush. Plus, he just doesn't seem to have an understanding on how breastfeeding itself works (ie. pumping to see how you produce)

Celeste - posted on 03/29/2011

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Pretty much agree with what Lisa said. I've read it too and agree with Lisa's points.

I keep seeing "full feeding" and preventing snacking to get the hind milk. That's not really how it works. Here's how foremilk/hindmilk and how Ezzo pretty much gets it wrong:
http://blog.nurturedchild.ca/index.php/2...

Written by a lactation consultant..

Minnie - posted on 03/29/2011

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Eh, I'm not reading into it. I'm pulling stark erroneous advice out of it. Your feelings are COMPLETELY valid- having a baby can be very challenging and tiring and it is completely understandable to want more sleep and rest and more predictability. I'm not arguing against those feelings. I'm pointing out the blatant errors he peppers his writing with.

Elfrieda - posted on 03/29/2011

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That's an interesting point, Lisa. The thing is, my "high-needs" baby WAS wearing me out. I hated that he nursed for 90 minutes every two hours. HATED it. I guess I do worse than a lot of moms at sleep deprivation, too. Anyway, I was totally miserable, and actually wishing that I had never had the baby, and though I never hurt him because well, he's my baby and I brought him into the world so it's my responsibility to take care of him, I did have those urges sometimes.
I would say to the various health people, "He's nursing all the time!" and they'd say, "That's okay. Lots of nursing is good. It doesn't matter how you feel. You don't matter."
I'd say, "I haven't slept more than 6 hours in the last week and I think I might be losing my mind!" and they'd say, "Well, you need to answer your baby's cries within one millisecond, or the baby will be damaged for life."
I'd say, "He cries all the time and I do, too!" and they'd say, "Well, babies cry. What you need to do is hold him constantly or else you are a bad mother."
That's exaggerated. I didn't actually say those things, but they were true, and they didn't actually say those things, but it was implied.
It felt really good to hear somebody say, "It's okay to want your baby to sleep and eat on a regular schedule. It's okay to want some sanity." That's what I heard from the Babywise book. I think that because everybody's experience is different, we read different things into the same book.

Jessica - posted on 03/29/2011

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Karla- thank you for your input (as well as everyone elses'). The point of this post was not to bash each other's parenting styles, and I don't think anyone was doing that. The point was to debate concepts in this book in the context of the article I linked to. I can see how there may be a fine line between the two because people have used babywise might feel slighted, but I wasn't trying to make this personal and I don't think anyone has!

In my personal experience, scheduling from the time they were born would NOT have worked. Both my babies, as newborns OFTEN fed less than 2.5 hours. My older son was pretty much by the clock, every 2 hours unless he was 3 months old. This baby is 8 weeks old and has stretched out his feedings himself, to every 2.5-3 hours. Also, he is sttn pretty much. But he's done that all on his own- all I've tried to do is respond to his cues.

I don't have a problem with the fact that he is a religious man, per se. What I have a problem with, is the fact that rather than basing the concepts in his book on any kind of medical information on what we know about infants' bodily and psychological needs, he bases them on his own interpretation of religious dogma. Only, from what I have read at least, he doesn't actually SAY that in the BW books. Evidently there are religious counterparts to the books- the info in them is the same only with references to the bible.

Another concept that the article points to, is what it refers to as "disguised child hate." Its an idea that I find very intriguing and sad. The idea that infants and children are inherently "bad" somehow and we need to control them from the time they are tiny in order to bring them up to be humble and obedient to God. I'm paraphrasing, but its the basic idea. Ezzo's book on dealing with older babies and toddlers seems even more horrifying than BW. Smacking their hands from the age of 6months, for trying to grab at food during meals? Structuring and controlling all activities, and the "importance" playing alone in a play pen? Nothing about this sounds good.

[deleted account]

My children were never by the book, so the book went bye-bye.

I wish they were at times by the book.lol



No the beauty of my two girls was the fact they were not by the book.I learn't as they did by going from day to day.I don't like the sound of this book, but then again i don't like many babywise book stuff.I think if you can get something from the books then thats great, just for me i never did.



My two girls were great and i got many comments on how settled and quiet they were.With the first girl she didn't sleep in her own space.That was my only problem, well it wasn't a problem for us.

The were really happy content babygirls.No feeding issues or colic etc.They were both very smart and advanced also.

Wish i could still say the same now for my 6year old..shes a live wire not quiet at all.. lol..only joking.

Becky - posted on 03/29/2011

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I was told I had to feed my first a minimum of every 2 hours because he was small and had bad jaundice. I even had to set my alarm to get up every 2 hours at night! So, we would've been going against the book right off the bat if we'd tried to follow it!

Becky - posted on 03/29/2011

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I had a few people recommend Babywise to me when I was pregnant with my first, so I read some reviews on it. MOst of them were negative, so I decided I was not even going to bother with the book. Turns out, it wouldn't have suited me at all anyway. I am much more of an on-demand, respond to your child's needs immediately type parent than a scheduled one.
It may work for some families, but from what I have read about it, you have to be very careful not to take it to the extreme because I guess the book has actually been blamed for malnutrition and failure to thrive in some babies.

Karla - posted on 03/28/2011

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When you give them full feedings and follow the eat-play-sleep principals, you don't have to make them wait because they are asleep. When they wake up, you feed them.

Karla - posted on 03/28/2011

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Emma- just putting your kid on a schedule is not what we are discussing here. There are other principals involved. Whenever my child showed hunger cues, I fed him. If he cried and it wasnt for need of a clean diaper, soft cuddles, etc....I FED HIM!!!

Stifler's - posted on 03/28/2011

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I tried to "schedule" my kid to every 3 hours. He screamed the house down after 2. KIDS DON'T CARE WHAT YOU WANT TO DO. If they're screaming for a feed and you're all "nope, you have to wait until 2.5 hours" I don't think you're doing the right thing. They should never have to scream for a feed.

Lady Heather - posted on 03/28/2011

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Oops. She has a paci addiction. Guess she's not a perfect candidate after all.

The thing I don't understand is why it's such a BIG deal to have to rearrange your life a little for a newborn. I guess I was pretty lucky with my first, but I don't expect that to happen again. In any case, they aren't small for long. It's just a temporary thing so I think unless I was having some insane problem I can't imagine even thinking about scheduling my kid. And some people actually like to have their kids hang off of them all the time. Lord knows I tried it. She was having none of the sling. :(

Bondlets - posted on 03/28/2011

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Oy, I got so caught up in the breastfeeding issue I didn't address another point brought up:

I don't care who wrote the book Babywise. I didn't know the author's background/qualifications before I finally read it. What I did know is that from the time I was in high school babysitting I noticed certain families that did things in a way that just made sense to me. I followed those families over a period of about 6 years until my first was born and then met with one of the moms who gave me just the basics of Babywise. At that time I wouldn't have cared if she'd said the author was a green guy from Mars because what she gave me worked. The situation with his church and children is unfortunate but not something I will change my entire parenting style because of.

I believe I could wear my baby, demand feed, co-sleep, etc. and have a child that turns out rotten as can be and who hates me. The same can happen if I schedule feed, crib sleep and don't babywear. I'm doing what I believe is a good thing for my babies and for our family. Fingers crossed my best efforts aren't also my biggest mistakes.

Lady Heather - posted on 03/28/2011

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Ha. My daughter would be perfect for this. She put herself on a 3 hour schedule in the first week and was sleeping through the night by 6 weeks. Maybe she read the book...

Jodi - posted on 03/28/2011

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"Page 103 he recommends using a pump to determine milk production."


Bahahaha.....I thought it was pretty common knowledge that you are unlikely to be able to pump as effectively as a baby feeds so therefore, how much you pump is absolutely no indication of your production. Obviously not.

Bondlets - posted on 03/28/2011

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I can offer my own breastfeeding fiasco as an example of how Babywise helped me. My first 2 kids nursed about every 3 hours from the start. I didn't force them to, it just naturally followed as I fed them right after nap, they were awake for a short time, then down for nap. I didn't watch the clock but oh man, I could almost set my clock by them! Then along came #3. For whatever reason I did things differently and nursed her more often - 2 hours between feedings, then less, then less...she was nursing every 45 minutes or so. She was cranky, tired, fussy all the time, and so was I. I still have no idea how I fell into this pattern but what I do know is my husband listened to me wailing one night after yet another horrific day with my baby and anticipating another night of being up with her time and again (as opposed to only once with my first two) and he gently said, "Why are you not doing with her what you did with the first two?" Um, I don't know?? Maybe because having 3 kids age 2 and under made me so brain-fogged that when my baby started to fuss I just popped her on the breast instead of thinking about what she might really need (not that I wouldn't have fed her had she been truly hungry but she would nurse for a few minutes then stop...she was snacking). The next day I went back to feed-wake-sleep, and in literally one day I had a happy, full, sleeping baby. I could not believe the difference. And my milk supply which had noticeably diminished came back with a vengeance (really, it was quite uncomfortable).



If one hates Babywise/Ezzo then fine. But there are those of us out there who have used it successfully with context and balance.

Stifler's - posted on 03/28/2011

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He sounds like a teenager who 'when I grow up my kids will never have a dummy... I will never do what they want when they want! etc.".

Minnie - posted on 03/28/2011

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Oooh on 140 he correlates on-cue breastfeeding with America's obesity rates. LOL



Page 103 he recommends using a pump to determine milk production.

Karla - posted on 03/28/2011

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I understand what you are saying about the crying part, that is why I chose not to use that part:)

Karla - posted on 03/28/2011

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Right, if you are using babywise, you should not have to nurse more often than every 21/2 hours, but he states (also on page 74)



"As a general rule, during the first two months you will feed your baby approximately every 2/12 to 3 hours.....SOMETIMES IT MAY BE LESS AND SOMETIMES SLIGHTLY MORE, but this time frame is a healthy average".



If you follow the other principals he explains, such as sleep-eat-play and focusing on getting full feedings, your child does not want to eat more often than that. That is MY honest experience with Babywise.

Minnie - posted on 03/28/2011

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Great, Karla- I'm not arguing with you though, I'm really not. I'm reviewing the book Babywise.

Minnie - posted on 03/28/2011

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Ahhh- oooh here on page 131 he tells us that 20 minutes of crying in bed for a newborn will not hurt it. Yep. You know, recent research shows an increase in cortisol levels in crying over 10 minuts in newborns, along with increased respiratory and heart rate and with increased brain pressure.



Oh, and here on page 132 he supports crying to 35 minutes for two month olds.

Karla - posted on 03/28/2011

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Listen, Lisa, it is obvious that you are not interested in using Babywise. I am not beating you down and trying to tell you how wrong you are. And if you can honestly tell me all of your parenting is based on "accurate scientific information" you are one hell of a parent.

We all do what "feels right". So I used many principals of Babywise, I swaddled my son, gave him a paci, breastfed exclusively, rocked him to sleep. There is not one "book that fit's" my philosophy.

Minnie - posted on 03/28/2011

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"There will be times when you might nurse sooner than 2 1/2 hours but that should not be the norm."

Yes, clearly he is referring to his routine. But the words 'should not' implies that there is something wrong if a baby does nurse sooner than that and he makes assumptions that every infant 'should not' have to nurse -most of the time- sooner than every 2 1/2 hours.

Minnie - posted on 03/28/2011

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Karla- I am not bashing your parenting style. This debate is about the book On Becoming Babywise- and I am book bashing. It's an unscientific book without citations or research, full of erroneous information that makes grandiose assumptions about babies and parents across the board.

Shauna - posted on 03/28/2011

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very true Karla. thats how i take it too. If you take it different. Maybe your over analyzing

Karla - posted on 03/28/2011

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When using Babywise and it's principals, breastfeeding less than every 21/2 hours is not the norm. That is how I understand that line. If YOU choose to BF more often, that is your choice.

Karla - posted on 03/28/2011

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Obviously, I am the minority here. Not going to win many of you over. However, I stand fast to my experience. I have stated multiple times that I take this all with a grain of salt. My child is loved, well-behaved, and as attached to his father and I as any child could be. You can bash my parenting style all you want. Feel free!!!

Minnie - posted on 03/28/2011

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Yes, but the key here is that he makes the assumption that it should NOT be the norm to breastfeed sooner. His vacilating between concepts is misleading as well.

If there is so much erroneous information contained within a particular book, why not seek out a book that fits one's philosophy but actually contains accurate scientific information?

Karla - posted on 03/28/2011

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The exact SAME SENTENCE on page 74, goes on to say "there may be occasions where you might feed sooner"

Stifler's - posted on 03/28/2011

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BAHAHAH Metabolic chaos created by breastfeeding too frequently. That says it all. I'd never heard of Babywise or read it before and already think it sounds crap. My mum and everyone else's mum told me they fed their baby 2 hourly, sometimes hourly when they were really young and cluster fed in the afternoon and they breastfed for a year, Mel's mum for 2 years. That is the norm if you ask me. Lactation consultants told me their kids did it and to just go with it if my kid needs to do that. I'd believe them over some random pastor anyday.

Karla - posted on 03/28/2011

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As I stated in my first post I say "I used some of the principals because those are the things that made sense for my family. And I think that is what you have to do with any parenting book, pick out the things that work for your family".

Minnie - posted on 03/28/2011

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Page 74 he states that nursing sooner than 2 1/2 hours should not be the norm. That's complete bunk. To make assumptions on the physical and emotional needs of a newborn- to say that across the board it should not be the norm to nurse sooner than that is crazy. Has he done NO anthropological research on breastfeeding dyads across the globe?



On page 68 he assumes that an infant nursing frequently will only be getting small amounts of foremilk. If a baby wants to nurse frequently all that is required of the mother is to put the baby back on the same breast until it has been sufficiently drained. This is called block feeding.



Contrary to his advice- longer times in between feedings does not ensure adequate milk production. When a breast is full of milk hormones trigger a reduction in milk production. Conversely, an empty breast that is frequently nursed at will make more milk, and faster.

Shauna - posted on 03/28/2011

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We had babywise at a childcare i worked at. I read it for inservice hours. I didnt find anything wrong with the book at all.

Karla - posted on 03/28/2011

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I am glad to hear that is how you "feel" about it, I am telling you my story and how it worked well for me, which is what the OP asked for.



It is very saddening to me when people batter other mom's decisions, not based on fact, but their opinions. This applies to all aspects of parenting. I respect others enough not to tell the non-circ people that the thought of an un-circumcised penis coming at me makes me "vomit". I don't repeatedly tell mom's who choose to co-sleep that there are reports out there that they could smother their baby and wouldn't that be a "horrendous" thing to do. Or, OMG, I can't believe someone would breastfeed their 3 year old.....makes my "skin crawl". (I honestly don't feel that way, you see, I am making a point)



Why do people feeling the need to be so hateful???? That, in my opionion, is the most horrendous part of this whole debate!!!!!

Stifler's - posted on 03/28/2011

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I find books were no help on how to raise my kid. I wish I'd found a good book or someone had passed on knowledge like the tips I've picked up from Debating Mums BEFORE I had a kid so I wasn't stumbling blindly through feeling like I didn't know what I was doing. I read " Your Baby's First Year" can't remember who by but it's floating around the house somewhere and everything I learned from it I learned from the midwives after the birth how to bath and burp etc. Babies by some other guy was just a load of crap and I wish someone had told my me kid would just find his own routine and listed signs of tiredness. The No Cry Sleep Solution is a load of crap too and nothing I haven't heard before.

Karla - posted on 03/28/2011

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Jessica-As a pro-babywiser, I did begin reading the article. Like you said, I took it all with a grain of salt.



I HONESTLY liked the "scheduled" feeding. Here is why---first and foremost, Babywise DOES NOT RECCOMMEND A STRICT SCHEDULE. This is a quote from page 112 "The clock, remember, is only a guide. If your baby shows signs of hunger before 21/2 hours---feed her. Hunger cues and parental assessment, not the clock, determine feedings."



Another main principal was eat-play-sleep. So, what this meant to me was to try to avoid nursing your child to sleep. Instead, first thing after your child wakes, feed them. Then change diaper, bathe, play, or whatever. Then when your child shows signs of tiredness, put them down awake (I wasn't hard-core about this part)



Something else which worked great for me, was tied into eat-play-sleep. It was to "focus on full feedings". What this meant to me was not to let your baby nurse for a couple of minutes and then fall asleep. In the early days, I encouraged him to nurse 10-15 minutes on each side at each feeding. These are my times, not anything quoted from babywise. And the reason that I say it worked well for me is that I successfully breastfed my son. And pumped such an excess when I worked that I donated over 300 ounces to a milk bank!!! So I also, "laugh to tears" over the claim that the ONLY way to successfully BF is by demand feeding.



It also goes extensively into counting # of wet/dirty diapers in order to ensure baby is getting adequate nutrition. So I really discount the stories of FTT and dehydration.



There you have it, isn't it "horrendous" enough to make your "skin crawl" and then "vomit"!!!!

Charlie - posted on 03/28/2011

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He has simply no idea of human and infant development and mental ability , to follow the word of a man who is so far from reality ( to the point where several children have suffered ) is ridiculous , I mean the fact his church and his own children disowned him speaks volumes .



Pushing anyone let alone a child beyond their developmental ability can and does have long lasting negative affects on them .

[deleted account]

I started reading this book when pregnant because my mil suggested it. I didnt get very far and called bullshit on it.

Elfrieda - posted on 03/28/2011

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Hi Jessica.
I read the book while I was pregnant (saw it on a friend's bookshelf) and I had no idea at the time that it was such a controversial book! Basically the premise is that parents can help a baby develop good habits like sleeping and eating, and that when you don't help your baby develop these habits, they don't get balanced and then you have the screaming through the night and refusal to sleep.

What I took from it (there were many examples and "what about this situation" scenarios) was that it's okay to fit the baby into your family instead of fitting your family around the baby, and a good way to get your child to develop good sleep patterns is to feed him as soon as he wakes up, then let him be awake and play with him, and then put him to sleep. Really, it said nursing the child to sleep is teaching bad sleep habits.

I honestly don't know what everyone is so hysterical about. In the article, that mom's baby was dehydrated. I know how sick she must have felt over it, because I felt the same when my milk didn't come in for 5 days and I was too inexperienced to know it. :( So she's blaming the book... okay, I guess. Surely everybody knows to adapt any advice to their own situation?

I did the sleep-eat-play-sleep pattern as much as I could, so I was sort of following the Babywise advice. My son did sleep 7 hours a night pretty regularly from about 10 weeks, so that was good. Was that because of the book? Maybe. Naps sure were a struggle, though.

One thing that I find strange about the people attacking the book - they say, "He's a CHRISTIAN! Oh, yuck! He's not a DOCTOR! The horror!" Well, he's a dad, right? He has a right to an opinion, and if he has a plan that works, why not share it? That's what I think.

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