Bad parents

Cathy - posted on 01/04/2011 ( 14 moms have responded )

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Is there such a thing as bad parent(s)?? I've seen all kinds of parenting styles, ones I agree with and others I think are completely off the wall. What makes you a good or bad parent? Why do so many people think that they have to give you advice before getting to know you and your family?

I know there are a lot of dead-bead parents (both moms and dads).... are they bad parents? Or are they people who knew better than to involve themselves in their kids lives so their kid would have a chance at a better life? There is always two sides to every story.... which side is true?

What do you think makes a bad parent? How would you change it? What would you say to them?

What makes a good parent and why? Who is to judge???

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Shauna - posted on 01/04/2011

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I know a horrible parent... i cant even begin to explain the situation it would take days, i said my peace to the person , it made no differance.

A good parent thinks of their child before themselves. Makes decisions based off of the knowledge they have and to the best of their ability. They seek help if they lack the knowledge. You see the happiness expressed through their childs face.

Petra - posted on 01/05/2011

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This is a good topic - I think there are a lot of grey areas in parenting and qualifying as a "bad" parent is a culmination of a lot of things. I don't think you can condemn someone as a bad parent if they employ one, two or three "bad" parenting tactics. We all disagree with others' practices to differing extents, but as long as the child is fed, clothed, reasonably healthy and, once they reach school age, receiving an education, using some bad techniques along the way doesn't necessarily equate to bad parenting.

Bottle feeding, early solids, semi-frequent trips to McDonald's, crying-it-out, TV exposure, corporal punishment - these are all examples of parenting practices that are, depending on who you talk to, "bad" - and even then, the level of badness is on a sliding scale.

Out and out neglect and/or abuse, whether deliberate or through ignorance, qualifies as bad parenting. Having a social worker for a mother and working in family law, I've seen plenty of examples of absolute shite parenting, and a lot of others that are borderline, and even more still that, while arguably "bad", are in themselves not justification enough for some sort of intervention.

Sharon - posted on 01/04/2011

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People who fail to protect, nurture and provide for their child are bad parents.

If you fail in any of those areas - you're a bad parent.

If you tried to protect your child - you've done your job. If your tried to provide for your child - you've done your job. If you fail to help your child develop to their full potential and settle for them to sink into medicority or criminalisation - you've failed. And you're a shitty parent.

Nicole - posted on 01/04/2011

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Is there such a thing as a bad parent?

Yes. A parent is like an employee. They have a job to do. Every employee will have their own personality/style and will have to alter their approach based on the demands of their job. They are a bad employee if they fail to do their job/bring harm to their costumer.

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Tara - posted on 01/05/2011

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I agree with Petra.
Parents who are abusive and neglectful of their childs right to food, shelter, education and health are bad parents.
The rest will always fall into place somewhere between the best and the worst.
:)

[deleted account]

liz- break the childs rights. Everyone has rights as a human, if a parent is not allowing their child to their god given rights(figuratively speaking), there a bad parent.

Sara - posted on 01/05/2011

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To be honest, when I see people cussing at their kids or smacking them in Wal-mart, I tend to think they're not the world's best parents. No one is perfect, I've done things I'm not proud of as a parent, but I recognize it and don't let my mistakes become the norm in my relationship with my kid. I think being flexible and being open to learning is a key to being a good parent.



I used to work in social services as well, so I've seen some BAD parents. Neglectful, selfish, abusive...those are the characteristics of a truly bad parent, and it makes me so sad to think there's children out there that have to live with that.

Sal - posted on 01/05/2011

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looking to the future so trying to prepare kids for the adventures ahead of them. putting the childs best interests in the forefront of desisions and making the hard decisions when that is whats needed, not just making the easy or popular decision because raising a child is a test match not a T20 game and what is easiest today isn;t nesersarily the best for tomorrow.

Jodi - posted on 01/05/2011

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Sharon Grey summed up my philosophy on this one perfectly.

On top of that, you don't have to do everything perfectly, you can (and should) make mistakes, it's about putting the effort in and doing what you need to do to the best of your abilities.

[deleted account]

A good parent thinks of their child before themselves. Makes decisions based off of the knowledge they have and to the best of their ability. They seek help if they lack the knowledge. You see the happiness expressed through their childs face.

Well said Shauna.

Julianne-What do you mean by infringe on the rights of the child?

Stifler's - posted on 01/04/2011

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I agree with pretty much everyone, if you're neglectful and abusive you're a bad parent. Also I don't think much of parents who allow their kids to grow up doing nothing around the house and treat their parents like slaves and talk to strangers like shit. How are you preparing your child for life outside your home? They're going to get their head smacked in at school and in the work place.

Charlie - posted on 01/04/2011

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Yes people who neglect and abuse their children bad parents who do not deserve the honour of being a parent .

Every person deserves quality of life .

Lacye - posted on 01/04/2011

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I think what makes you a bad parent is if you deliberately abuse your child in any way or neglect them in any way.

A good parent is some one that makes sure the child has what he or she needs. The parents are there for them when they are needed. they encourage a child to be the best that they can absolutely be.

I know some people that are good parents. I know some that in my opinion should have been sterilized birth because they were abusive and destructive with their children.

but to judge some one that you don't know and you don't know the whole situation, that's completely wrong and uncalled for. If I don't know the person or their situation, I hold my judgement until I find out more. Until then, I pretty much keep my mouth shut.

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