Be realistic....

Jeannette - posted on 11/08/2011 ( 15 moms have responded )

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When online and on a social website, the atmosphere is informal. The language is informal as well. For those who want to correct others' grammatical and spelling errors - really?
When in an informal setting, such as 'debating mums' you will get informal debate. You might be shocked about this part - you will get a lot of opinions. Very few people will back up what they believe/think with 'independent studies', CIA world facts, and the like. Don't let this shock you, it's informal. Take a sip of water and make your next post.
If you ask people 'what do you think', it is read just as it is written. There may be interpretations - what do you believe and what do you feel, may be alternate interpretations. Expect to get responses that reflect just that.

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♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 11/08/2011

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Some things should be backed up by facts. Especially if you wish to debate them.

Things like name calling and outright assumptions of other people's education, domiciles, and financial status should be barred from any said debate no matter how informal the situation because your mother should've taught you better than that.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/09/2011

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Jeannette "I try to be honest. I try to be fair. I even accept that what I do not agree with should not necessarily have a law written against it.

I also try not to be the thought police...think what you will. By all means, share your thoughts when prompted. :)"





Really???? I haven't seen any of that yet from you.

JuLeah - posted on 11/08/2011

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Spelling ... I can't do it personally. I spell check my name.

I transpose letters and numbers, and I don't see the mistake.

But we, humans, are kind of funny about our 'facts'

If we believe it - it is true

It is it true - it is a fact

If we said it, it must be true

If it is true, it is a fact

And, if it is a fact you don't get to disagree or you are just stupid and dumb and wrong and a poopy head

And, if you say you want me to back up my 'facts' then I will tell you that my sister thinks I am right too, so there

There is this thing in our culture called 'right'

We value this thing and we wish to possess it, because the one who owns 'right' has the power. Right means you are smart, and safer, better then the other got who doesn't have Right

Of course for me to have Right, you can't have it. In fact, you have to be Wrong, right? :)

And, to prove I own Right, I will line up X number of people who agree with me.

Of course, you will line up X+1 that agree with you

But, then I will line up my deities, my Gods - My GOD says I am right

And, of course you will claim your God says you are right

And I will say "well, my God can kiss your God's ass"

And then we will go to war and the one with the bigger cannon will own Right when it is done

But, here is what I actually believe - and I really think I am right -

There is no such thing as Right and Wrong - No such thing as truth

There is your opinion and mine - sometimes we agree and we can bond over how brilliant we are

There is 'that works for me and that doesn't work for me'

There is 'that's not my experience, that's not true for me'

But, right, wrong, truth ... nah, I just don't believe in it

No matter who is quoting what study, all I hear is that persons opinion ... I can find a study to support most any idea I have .... and you can line up your studies that show a different outcome .... it all gets down to opinion

Carolee - posted on 11/08/2011

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If somebody is trying to pass off their opinion as fact, they'd better have proof of said "fact". There are studies for and against almost everything you could think of. I don't hold much for statistics. The reasons why somebody believes those statistics is more important and interesting to me.

Yes, this is a site for informal debates. Debates, by design, are for "thinkers". If your spelling is so horrible that I cannot understand you, then I will not take you seriously. If you want me to be brutally honest, iF yOu TyPe LiKe ThIs, or yf u tip lik dis 4 ne rezn, I will simply dismiss you as an idiot. It may be informal, but it's still a debate. You don't have to use "big words", but at least put some effort into it. Minor spelling errors are definately forgiveable. We all make them.

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♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 11/09/2011

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Then don't feel that my remark was directed at you. I'm very honest myself and I believe that everyone should be treated with the same respect and dignity that I'd want to be treated with reguardless of any bearing on their person.

Jeannette - posted on 11/09/2011

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Guilt? no. Honesty is a virtue. I apologized for the remark I felt bad about because I recognized it was out of line.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 11/09/2011

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Jeannett, That wasn't directed at you in particular. Although responding to it would indicate maybe you feel guilty about some of your actions IMO. Everyone should be respectful of eachother and not result to petty attacks.

Jeannette - posted on 11/09/2011

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@Meggy, I made a post stating what perceptions I have of people who dress out of the norm. I did not state, as a matter of fact, but it was interpreted that way. I guess when something is near and dear to our hearts, we get defensive and offended.
Most of us get snippets of each other's lives in the posts. Some tell their entire family history, but not most. Women put out their opinions all the time about subjects such as circumcision, ear piercings, teen dating - and the abilities to parent a child are attacked. I personally don't care what other people do, but if you ask me what I think...weeeeelllll, I just might tell you.
I have read comments about the various protesters being "crazy", "lunatics", and "bums" which clearly questions their mental health and employment/income status. Yet, those who agree with those comments take no issue to such judgments.
I try to be honest. I try to be fair. I even accept that what I do not agree with should not necessarily have a law written against it.
I also try not to be the thought police...think what you will. By all means, share your thoughts when prompted. :)
Thank you for your comment.

Stifler's - posted on 11/09/2011

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I can't tolerate poor spelling and grammar. I honestly do just skip those comments that are lyk dis and LyK dAT and Like This because they are so wrong.

Denikka - posted on 11/08/2011

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yf u tip lik dis 4 ne rezn
It actually took me about 5 minutes, and asking my friend to figure out what you said there XD my brain just does not register that. . .language XD

Denikka - posted on 11/08/2011

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*takes a bow* always happy to amuse :P
Spelling like that bothers me enough when it's on something like facebook. But when you are attempting to have a serious, intelligent debate and you're spelling like that. . .yea. I'm probably going to say something about the spelling, or I'm going to ignore your post all together XP

Whether I cringe or not as to why someone thinks the way they do, I still like to know. I'm a thinker. I dissect my own brain far too often XD I can defend any of my beliefs pretty much at the drop of a hat. And I can generally tell you why I don't believe the way that you do. Or if I can't (to either one) I go and do some self reflection and find out why.
I swear...curiosity is gonna get me killed one day XD

Jeannette - posted on 11/08/2011

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Denikka, the spelling bit was funny. I think for the most part, and I realize I am generalizing, many of the women do try to post correctly. I brought it up because some people can be really petty about every little thing.
When people are stating something is a fact, it would be nice of them to back it up with facts, however, when people are merely sharing their thoughts, feelings, and beliefs, it is unlikely to get backed up with anything. This does not bother me.
Yes, we all have our opinions. When asked 'what do you think' many are willing to share. I appreciate your curiosity as to why someone does hold certain opinions, but in the end, I personally might cringe at some of the answers. Also, I appreciate they have their opinion.
I am looking at the spelling bit again, that really was funny.

Denikka - posted on 11/08/2011

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The spelling thing bothers me to an extent. I can accept that there may be times when there's a brain fart or something like that. bUt ween yuo tawlk liek thes al tha tiem thruo yor powst. . .honestly, I cannot understand you. You should have a basic understanding of general spelling. I'm a lot more understanding if English is not your first language, but if it is, c'mon. Really? There's spell check for a reason. I would think that it takes a LOT more effort to spell like my example than it does to spell in a normal way.
I can even be reasonably lenient with spelling if it's phonetically correct (fone instead of phone).

Studies. . .well, that depends in my mind. If you are stating something as absolute fact, then you should have something to back it up. There's a huge different between saying *this is this way* and *I heard this about this* or *I think this about this*.

Opinions I don't have much to say on. You have yours, I have mine. Sometimes we agree, sometimes we don't. No biggy. I may ask you to explain WHY you have a certain opinion though, and that's where I generally run into problems (religion is great for this issue. I believe this, why do you believe that? Because the bible says to believe it. Why do you believe the bible? Because the bible says to believe the bible. . . .*face desk*) I ask because I'm genuinely curious about why a persons mind works the way it does. Why they believe the way they do. I have a hard time accepting general answers that were obviously not thought about at all.

And as for interpretations, I try to take things literally as they are written. If you don't mean something, then you shouldn't say it. If I'm unsure, I ask for clarification. I try not to read too much into tones or such, because you can't really tell over the net.

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