Best tip for women wanting to have it all.......don't bother!


Christa - posted on 05/02/2010




I think it depends on what "it all" is. If it's a successful career and a family, then no I don't think you can have it all. Now before everyone jumps on me, I think you can do both but somewhere you have to make sacrifices. I know I chose to work from home once I had kids, which has been great, but I'm not advancing my career like I would be had I not had kids. Maybe as they get older I can pursue that again, but for now I chose to raise my kids. It was most important to me to be there the majority of the time for my kids. I didn't want someone else having more time and possible impact on my kids then me.

I do think it's our own making. I think it's a side effect of the whole feminist movement. Now don't get me wrong great things have come out of the feminist movement, but as a result of us proving we are just as good as men we have forced ourselves to be even better. We have to match them in the office and still be "supermom" at home.

This conversation has been closed to further comments


View replies by

Sara - posted on 05/02/2010




Hey, the Victorians had hysteria, now we have PMDD. But you're right, they're "treatment" was much better than Prozac, but still a little strange!

Krista - posted on 05/02/2010




Ah, if only we could use the same cure as the Victorians used for "hysteria"... ;-)

Sara - posted on 05/02/2010




I'm not sure that the feminist movement can be defined as proving we're just as good as men. I can see where you may be coming from there, but that's not what I think is the truth. It's about equality, meaning equal pay for equal work (which we're still waiting on, BTW), equal rights in the workforce, equal rights in society. It's not trying to prove that we're as good as men are and therefore we leave everything behind in blind pursuit of the "dream", We all know the reality, which is that even if we work the same as our husbands, we still get most of the housework and child-rearing responsibilities, even in the most equal relationships. To me, the pressure women feel to have it all has just been transferred form the pressures to be "perfect" housewives and mothers before the feminist movement. Now, it's just been translated to our jobs. I suppose if you want to blame the feminist movement on launching women into the workforce, be my guest. But I have a feeling it would have happened anyway, because most women work not out of a drive to have careers and children and a husband and a perfect ass, but because it's a necessity to have two incomes. Most families can't exist on one income, I know mine can't. I'm not trying to turn this into a rant on feminism, but I think it's wrong to blame a movement about equality for why women feel so much pressure in today's society. The pressure has always been there, it's just shifted now that most women work outside the home, IMO. Why do you think so many housewives in the 50's were alcoholics or Valium addicts? Or why Victorian women were "hysterical"?

Maybe if we got paid as much as men for the same work, we'd have more time to devote to our children, but hey! That's just me.

Jodi - posted on 05/02/2010




I figured that out a few years ago. Trying to have my highly paid career, finish my degree and maintain a happy family took its toll. I couldn't have it all. Unfortunately, I was raised in an era where we were brainwashed to believe we could have it all, and that if we couldn't handle that we were a failure. I truly felt like a failure, and it took an enormous emotional toll on me (I won't go into details). Let's just say, I walked away from a $100,000 a year job, and my life is far more fulfilling now than it ever was.

ME - posted on 05/02/2010




I'm not sure if the problem is of their own making or not. I don't expect that much of myself, and I don't give a shit what society expects of me...The laundry and dishes are done at my house...I vacum most days, and the bathroom and kitchen get a quick once over each week...but other than that, there isn't much cleaning going on around my house. I work part time, and stay home part time...I don't have an elaborate beauty or exercise reutine...I look fine...but I don't look like I did when I was single without kids...I do one big grocery shopping trip each week, and a few smaller ones...but we try to eat what's in the house if we're too busy to go back out....I guess for women naturally prone to stressing themselves would be rough...but, I'm not one of those! I don't entertain much (almost never)...when I do, I get a bit stressed, because it means I have a lot of work to do...but, luckily...I only do this about every three months! I feel like I have the best of both worlds (career and staying home with kids)...I don't need anything else!

Charlie - posted on 05/02/2010




Yeah i do , and this kinda links to the body perfection i mentioned in the curvy thread , women these days are pushed too hard to be so dam perfect in every way , its unrealistic and really sets them up for a lifetime of disappointment , i think the key to happiness is learning to appreciate the things we have in life and not what we could or should have , if you know what i mean , thats not to say we shouldn't have goals and dreams just make sure they are attainable and not some ideal view .

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms