Birthday Party RSVPs

[deleted account] ( 19 moms have responded )

Is it rude NOT to respond to a birthday party invite? Bad manners on the parent part? I sent my son with party invitations for the whole class at the beginning of this week-Tuesday. His party is next Saturday. I left a phone number and an email address. So far, no response. It's a backyard party so I am not concerned with a place like Chucke E Cheese that pays per kid. I just would like an idea of how many kids to plan for! 10 kids, or 20?!

Do you respond to a party invite or just show up?


Amie - posted on 02/05/2011




I respond!! It drives me nuts when people don't! I grew up with manners. Didn't anyone else?!

It is a pet peeve and I always dread birthday time with my older ones who are in school. There is always, at the bare minimum, one who waits until the night before to call. Never once has anyone not replied and shown up. That would cause my eye to do the twitch it does when I get upset.

It's not that hard people! Pick up the phone, the phone call is a max. of 30 seconds. Emails are even quicker!

I even call when we can't make it. I know how much it pisses me off when people don't reply to the ones we send out for our kids, so I'm courteous and let the host know. Argh!


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Isobel - posted on 02/07/2011




we're having a party at Chuck E Cheese this Saturday too :D

I haven 't read the responses yet, but I didn't get any RSVPs...I'm not surprised, I'm not seems to be the way things go these days. I try to ask as many parents as I can whether or not they're coming but...meh.

Then again, you couldn't pay me enough to invite the whole class either ;P

*oops...I misread, you're not at Chuck E Cheese...nevermind

Esther - posted on 02/07/2011




Yes, I think it's bad manners not to respond. However, I have been known to misplace invitations myself and therefore not knowing the email address to respond to. When that happens though I tend to just leave a note for those parents in their child's cubby at school to let them know one way or another. When we had my son's birthday party there were about 3 people who did not respond one way or another and I just left them a copy of the invitation as a reminder. They all came.

Bonnie - posted on 02/07/2011




I always RSVP whether I am going or not. I expect the same out of people that I invite.

[deleted account]

"Sharon, did you put an RSVP date on it? "

OMG I overlooked that! Nope, I didn't give an RSVP date so I suppose most peopel think that just because it's a bakyard party, there's no need to respond. Well, I learned my lesson now! Last year at preschool it was more intimate and I knew more of the preschool parents. Invitations were personally attached to the sign-in sheet and about ha;f the class showed up-so maybe 6-7 kids. Plus our non-preschool friends I had 13-14 kids last year. It's different now that he's in Kindergrten!

[deleted account]

I always respond just as I expect others to respond either way. I even make sure that my kids take the time to make and send thank you cards as well since their friends took the time to come.

Jodi - posted on 02/05/2011




Sharon, did you put an RSVP date on it? I often find that a lot of people leave it to the last minute to respond. And yes, then there are the ones who never respond. In my experience in our community, the RSVP is usually only about 2 or 3 days before the party, so maybe expecting responses now for next Saturday is a bit soon?

[deleted account]

If we are going to attend, I ALWAYS respond, and I expect anyone who is going to attend to respond--especially in school situations where you are having people you don't really know to your home. It's nice to just have a conversation with someone before you barge into their house.

If we are not attending, I usually still respond, unless it says something like "RSVP if you can join us" or "if you can attend" because then I assume they only want to hear from those who are coming. I understand when people don't RSVP when they are not coming because they may not feel like sharing an excuse or telling someone they don't know well what they have going on.

If people do not RSVP, I assume they are not coming and do not make preparations for them. I've never had it happen, but I think if someone who didn't RSVP showed up, I would just act surprised and tell them that since they didn't RSVP as requested on the invite that I didn't make preparations for them so their kids won't be getting goody bags and such (but you might want to "find" a couple extra bags for the kids, because it suck to make the kids suffer because their parents are tactless). They might hate me, but they'd know for next time :P

Sharon - posted on 02/05/2011




I respond. Whether I'm showing up or not.

No one ever responds in a timely manner to our parties. I've seen nearly all to only a few show up. I always plan for all to show up. I usually wind up with 3/4s of a cake left. I get those giant mega 4sheet cakes - whatever that means. I send extra home with every kid who shows up and feed it to every kid who stops by for the rest of the week, lol.

[deleted account]

Good idea Joy. I'll send a note to school for my son to give to his teacher. With my work schedule, I don't drop him off or pick him up. Notes to teh teacher has worked best. I'll ask her if it would be OK to remind the class about Matt's b-day party on Saturday.

[deleted account]

Maybe Monday you could speak with your son's teacher and ask her if she could remind the students about the birthday flyers? Maybe that would help the kids to remember to give them to their parents :)

[deleted account]

Thanks for the feedback ladies. I think that's it's true that since the invites were sent home from school, I bet they never actually made it home to the parents. You just never know! This year my son wanted birthday invitation flyers and I sent them in a large manilla envelope to school. I recently spoke to the Kindergarten teacher about it and she said that they would be handed out at the end of the day. So it's very well possible that some parents just don't look in their kid's backpack. I have no class list to make phone calls either. More of a privacy issue-class lists are not handed out with contact infomration I guess. Well, I have the bouncer reserved and crafts ready to go, looking for the right pinata and hope it will be a fun party! I jsut wish I would get a response from some of his classmates!

Stifler's - posted on 02/05/2011




Yes. I respond but many people these days don't. My advice would be to call everyone and ask.

Sal - posted on 02/05/2011




i usually respond especially if i don;t know the mum or it is a pay per kid thing, in my experience most people rsvp most of the time, the ones i hate are those who rsvp and not turn up, things happen but i 2 second sms isn't hard..

April - posted on 02/05/2011




these days it is so easy to RSVP to a birthday party...there are so many ways you can do it. If you're worried about making that dreaded phone call that your child won't be attending, you can send a text message, an email, or even RSVP on facebook (either through private message or if they have invites set up on FB as well). I think having so many ways of notifying someone of your attendance or planned absence makes it extra rude if you don't reply. I also think that if an invitation as an RSVP number, it's pretty much expected that they'd want an answer.

[deleted account]

I respond either way and think it's bad manners to do otherwise.
I do think though, that since you sent the invites through the kids, you have to allow for the fact that some of the parents may not have gotten the invites. Children forget things sometimes and it's possible some of the invites never made it to the parents.

Becky - posted on 02/05/2011




I respond to any invitation, even the open house direct sales type ones. If someone goes to the trouble of inviting you, it's rude not to respond! It's not like it takes a long time to send a one sentence email!
I send out my kids invites on Facebook and there are still people who don't respond. I mean, seriously, it takes a second to click on yes or no!!

Nicole - posted on 02/05/2011




I posted about this before my daughters birthday party last month.

Yes, I respond and if I don't know if I will be able to make it, I let the person know when I will be able to give them a yes or a no

Jenn - posted on 02/05/2011




I think we just discussed this not long ago - but I am one who always RSVP's and find it quite rude to not do so. It doesn't matter whether you are coming or not, but please let me know!

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