Boyfriends daughter

Michelle - posted on 04/11/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I have been with my boyfriend for three years and living with him for last year. I'm struggling with his 13 year old daughter that I had an amazing relationship with for the first two years but the last six mounts have been miserable. She has a tendency avoid her dad and I when she comes back from her mothers home. She has a very passive defiante behavior. She will have minimal conversation with me. She used to not even respond to me in the mornings when stating good morning too her until her father had a talk with her but is still very token. She's only nice to me when she wants me to take her shopping or needs something. I have had talks with her and tried to help her understand my role and how I'm not trying to replace her mother. I have never said anything negative and always speak well about her mother when the conversation comes up. Her dad has legal custody but she does visit her moms home two days during week and every other weekend. Her mother doesn't like our relationship and she speaks poorly of her dad. She is now trying to buy the home behind us so therefore will be our neighbor soon but she and my boyfriend hate eachother although they don't fight in front is ther daughter. I'm so distraught with all emotions involved. I love my boyfriend unconditionally and is amazing father and friend but I don't know if I can deal with a life of rejection from his daughter and the ex living in our backyard!

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Tracey - posted on 04/11/2015

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Sounds to me like the mother wants to control her house and your house. Her living practically next door will be a challenge for all of you. But you have to remember the girl is 13 years old and she too is caught up in the mix. She is probably listening to her mother down her father and you and then she has to come back home. At 13 years old she is trying to find her way into her own life. Don't let that change the relationship between you and her. And just for the record all kids are nice when they want something.

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Run. I am not kidding. 3 years in is not worth the drama. Especially once the new "neighbor" moves in. Run.
I realize it may sound harsh or it will be difficult since you love the BF. It will get more difficult with more time. I am sorry. Just my opinion. :-(

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