Boys Vs. Girls

Sherri - posted on 10/19/2011 ( 63 moms have responded )

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Okay I am writing this because it starting to make my head spin and driving me a little crazy.

Why in heavens name everytime something is posted it is

Oh a boy can't potty train as early as a girl it is normal.
Oh a boy can't learn as fast as a girl that is normal.
Oh a boy can't be as low key as a girl they are naturally just more high strung, it is normal.
Oh boys don't walk as early as girls it is normal,
Oh boys don't talk as early as girls it is normal.

I can list a million more examples. These are actual examples of postings on threads. They are kids and every child whether they be boy or girl learns differently not just because they are a different gender.

Why do so many people keep comparing genders vs. the individual child. Boys are not idiots, slower or less intelligent then girls and I just wish people would stop comparing.

Thoughts??

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Johnny - posted on 10/19/2011

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Here's what gender research tells us:

Girls start speaking earlier (at about 12 months compared to 13 to 14 months for boys). At 16 months, girls have as many as 100 words in their vocabulary, while boys have around 30. The gap begins to narrow by 2½, when both boys and girls can produce about 500 words.

From infancy on, boys show higher activity levels than girls. They squirm, kick and wiggle more than girls, and are more physically aggressive and impulsive, as revealed by studies of their brains. Not surprisingly, infant boys are more likely to end up in the emergency room with injuries, according to new research.

Boys' gross motor skills (running, jumping, balancing) develop slightly faster, while girls' fine motor skills (holding a pencil, writing) improve first.

Between rapid growth stages of infancy and adolescence, boys and girls grow in height and weight at about the same slow-but-steady rate. There aren't major differences between them until late elementary school, when girls start to grow taller, faster.

Girls are potty-trained earlier than boys, though it's unclear whether this is due to physical differences or if it's because mom typically handles potty training duties, which may make it easier for girls. In addition, fewer girls wet the bed.

http://www.first5la.org/articles/child-d...

Sylvia - posted on 10/21/2011

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This is just a question of people thinking that the plural of "anecdote" is "data" and that "on average, X's are better than Y's at doing Z" is intended to mean "all X's are better than all Y's at doing Z".

It's the exact same misunderstanding of how population statistics work that makes people look at the statement "The risk of hospitalization for a respiratory illness is 14 times higher for formula-fed babies than for breastfed babies" and say "But my friend breastfeeds her baby and he gets sick WAY more often than my formula-fed baby! So that must be a total lie! Made up by 'nursing nazis' to make me feel guilty!"

Which is stupid, because of course both things can be true -- the anecdote about these two babies in no way contradicts or disproves what the data show about babies in general. Which is that if every baby at birth has a baseline risk r of needing to be hospitalized for a respiratory infection within his/her first year of life, you change that baby's actual risk of that outcome from r to 14r if you feed him formula instead of human milk. But that doesn't mean that the risk is 0% if you breastfeed (0×14=0), and of course it also doesn't mean that the risk is 100% if you formula-feed.

"Boys are more likely than girls to do/be X" doesn't mean "Boys always do X and girls never do X." And "On average, boys do Y later than girls" doesn't mean "All boys do Y later than all girls." Therefore, you can't dispute or disprove either of those statements by saying "My son didn't do X but my daughter did!" or "I have boys in my class who did Y earlier than the girls did!" That just isn't how population statistics work.

Sorry to rant. Misuse of statistics makes me very irritable.

Johnny - posted on 10/19/2011

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Just because boys and girls tend to develop differently as population groups, it's not some sort of value judgment on the gender or dismissal of boys as not as good as girls. Different, not better.

Also, just because it may not apply to individual children that WE know does not mean that it isn't statistically true. My daughter happened to fit into most of this stuff, she talked early and walked late, but personality wise, she's as fidgety and loud-mouthed as people assume boys to be. Her little best friend (a boy) is the quiet, calm one.

Charlie - posted on 10/19/2011

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Using exception to a rule as an example doesnt prove a point it simply shows there are exceptions statistics allow for that but it still means majority hit developmental milestones around the same age bracket.



It isnt helpful to parents in a school setting to give them answers to suit their child either if they have fallen behind , tell them the truth.



If they are ahead GREAT! If they are behind its nothing to worry about yet it just means suggesting activities the child can do to help in certain areas having a proactive teacher and parents is far more helpful to the child than a parent or teacher that sits there and tries to find reasoning to let things slide.



I have no idea why something like this would annoy or offend anyone its biology it's like getting offended at men hitting their sexual peak around 18 and women around 30.

Jodi - posted on 10/19/2011

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Statistically, it IS actually true. More boys are late bedwetters than girls. Making that statement is not comparing genders, it is just stating a statistical fact.

I think the other day I made a comment to you about this very thing about boys being far more vague as teens than girls. I don't know if that comment happens to be what triggered this post or not. BUT I was actually stating fact. It isn't about making comparisons, but it IS fact. It is a biological fact that means boys of this age need to be raised differently than girls of this age because they have different needs.

It is the same with regard to those younger milestones. Boys are STATISTICALLY later to potty train than girls. It doesn't mean an individual boy will potty train later than his sister, just that statistically this is the case. Girls also tend to talk younger, but boys DO develop their gross motor younger. Biology dictates these things. Statistically they ARE fact. And in parenting, we should just keep these things in mind. I mean, if your 3 year old boy isn't talking as much as your friend's 3 year old girl, and his vocabulary isn't even close to hers, then it makes sense to tell that mother not to worry, boys develop their communication skills at a different pace to girls.

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Karla - posted on 10/21/2011

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From Sylvia:
“This is just a question of people thinking that the plural of "anecdote" is "data" and that "on average, X's are better than Y's at doing Z" is intended to mean "all X's are better than all Y's at doing Z".

That’s exactly IT! Thank you.

In the article linked by Dyan B.:
“In general, boys are simply more physical than girls.
“Boys simply take up more space than girls in their daily activities
“Boys are more advanced than girls in mathematical reasoning, spatial ability, and mechanical ability, while girls score higher on memory, perceptual accuracy, verbal fluency, and language tasks
“As I have already mentioned, boys are much more likely to engage in rough-and-tumble play than girls.”


When writing an article about studies and statistics the “in general…” and “more likely….” work, but to say Boys are more advanced than….” and “Boys take more…” misrepresents statistics.

Women are more likely than men to get breast cancer, but you can’t say men don’t. Smokers are more likely to get lung cancer, but non-smokers get it too – we don’t want to ignore these individuals.

I think the frustration lies in the fact that some people will tell me girls ARE neater and more calm then boys, when the fact of my life is my oldest girl is the messiest and most agitated person in our family. When one states these things as absolutes it misrepresents reality, and it negates the experiences that are otherwise. Maybe that’s “common” but it’s not an absolute.

Corinne - posted on 10/21/2011

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Just because you know kids that don't fit the bill doesn't mean that the statistics are wrong. At my local Sure Start they have set up a group aimed at helping little boys with their development because the nationwide statistics show that boys are achieving less than girls in the same age group. This 'lag' seems to miraculously dissappear around the age of 15/16. Although I do think it is used as an excuse for a lot of boys and unfortuntely some of those slip through the net.

Jenn - posted on 10/21/2011

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The statistics are there...however, I think too many parents probably accept this instead of nurturing their child's individuality in their progress. If a parent expects a son to not talk or walk early, they may not worry about it and in turn don't help their boy. Stereotypes often hinder all genders from reaching their true potential and a lot of blame goes to the parents. I try not to set limits for my daughters. I let them know they can do anything a boy can do.

I have seen that boys and girls may develop differently but how the parent addresses it seems to make the most difference to the child.

Tara - posted on 10/20/2011

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I agree and having 3 of each, I can honestly say there is really no evidence in my family of such gender biases.
Kids are all different regardless of gender.

September - posted on 10/20/2011

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I think it’s a bunch of BS. We have an amazing 3 year old son that was potty trained at 2.5 years old, is more advanced than most of his female peers at pre-school (his teacher’s are always complementing this) he can be very laid back and chill but can be rowdy just like any other toddler at times too. He walked at 10.5 months old and was talking by the time he was 1. So that just goes to show all children are different regardless of gender and age for that matter.

Charlie - posted on 10/20/2011

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Well Janice I think you know best maybe a second ( or third ) opinion ?

I wish you luck with it so you can get on track to helping her out :)

[deleted account]

The ASQ's that you do from birth to 3 don't have one for boys and one for girls.... they are simply for the AGE of the child.

Merry - posted on 10/20/2011

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I think gender can play a role but you also have to consider parenting style, and birth order. As well as family structure. There's alot of factors that go into this and I think gender is just one difference to look at, in order to get a real understanding of baby development you have to factor in alot more then just gender.

Merry - posted on 10/20/2011

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I know many exceptions to the gender 'rules' my friends daughter didn't crawl til 12 months or walk til 16 months whereas my son crawled at 6 months and walked at 9 months..



""From infancy on, boys show higher activity levels than girls. They squirm, kick and wiggle more than girls, and are more physically aggressive and impulsive, as revealed by studies of their brains.""

This couldnt be more wrong with my two kids! My girl moved in utero so much more then my boy. My daughter is far far far more active then my son ever was. Same with my brother and me, my sister was quite calm as a baby but i was wild and crazy and very demanding, then my brother was so mellow and happy and content.



""Girls start speaking earlier (at about 12 months compared to 13 to 14 months for boys). At 16 months, girls have as many as 100 words in their vocabulary, while boys have around 30. The gap begins to narrow by 2½, when both boys and girls can produce about 500 words.""

My son had earlier stronger vocal then both of his female friends. his word development followed the numbers for girls here.



""Not surprisingly, infant boys are more likely to end up in the emergency room with injuries, according to new research.""

well this I don't see in my son since he's so cautious and careful he's only had one serious injury and he was already 2 years before that happened. But my brother did have 2 ER runs whereas my sister and I never had one :) he was just a clumsy kid.

Brittany - posted on 10/20/2011

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Want to know the best quality children have?

Their ability to be unique. I have loved watching my children grow into toddlers and school aged. Their imaginations are AMAZING.

I went on a field trip with Caoleb to a museum on Tuesday and we got to watch an IMAX movie. The stairs were steep and we had a ways to climb. All of us, including myself, pretended we were climbing Mount Everest in a snow storm.

Other parents thought I was a lunatic but, I refuse to let go of my inner toddler.

Janice - posted on 10/20/2011

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Feen I 100% agree about being proactive. I worked in daycare and i saw many children go with out services because of parents in denial. My point is that yes my daughter is considered in the range of normal (we do plan to have her re-evaluated after her 2nd B-day) but she is is on the low end of normal for speech. If the comparisons between gender really have that much weight to them then as a girl she should be considered delayed. I mean if it really is biology then boys and girls should be assessed differently.



Yes, in my heart of hearts I do believe my daughter has an articulation issue.



I have read gender studies in the past and I know there is good science behind it however, making these general gender statements are really not helpful to parents. Also some of the statements Sherri listed do not have science to back it. Potty training for instance, I was a toddler teacher and so I have been there for a lot of training. Overall, parents of boys started much later that those with girls because they were told don't bother. That seemed to be a much bigger factor than anything. Boys who parents began "early" were successful earlier.



@ Karla - YES! I HATE where the whole girl power thing has gone. Its just the opposite now we are okaying bashing boys.

Karla - posted on 10/20/2011

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My family breaks most of the “norms” on boys vs girls… I have a very active daughter and a mild son, I have a daughter who had trouble with speech and another daughter who hated, absolutely hated to be the “mom” when playing… she usually wanted to be a baby or a cat. I have a brother and daughter who walked at 9 and 10 months respectively.



I think many people judge based on their experience. My Aunt always said girls were harder to raise than boys based on her first two children (7 years difference) then she had another son who taught her it’s not all about gender.



For what it’s worth, I quit reading relationship advice a long time ago because I found the couples’ issues did not fit my relationship with my hubby, we simply aren’t the norm.



Another pet peeve I have is the “Girl Power” messages that cut down boys – how is that any better than saying Boys are best? I just don’t get the need to divide as much as we do. It’s one thing to understand the statistics, but to assume it applies to everyone is not right.

Ez - posted on 10/19/2011

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I don't see this as something to be offended by. It's in the numbers, but there will always be exceptions. Just like statistics say male newborns are generally bigger than females, yet my daughter was much larger at birth than her two male cousins.

Like someone else mentioned, I do think these stereotypes can be detrimental at times. They allow genuine delays or issues to be overlooked and dismissed as 'oh he's a boy, they do things later'. Then you end up with a 5yo who can't even hold a pencil correctly.

Anecdotally, these generalisations have been true for my daughter and her two cousins. They were born within 2 months of each other, and she has reached all major milestones significantly earlier. Does that mean she is better than them? Of course not! It's just biology.

Charlie - posted on 10/19/2011

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Probably because they are evaluating delays not how fast they developed in normal range.

We are talking delay beyond the lower end of the spectrum in most cases are around the same.

When they say a boy develops later than girls it is the average for their development it isnt a delay.

Boys and girls have very differently wired brains this is why boys develop faster than girls on average in spatial awareness and gross motor skills but to be delayed in those areas for both genders would be around the same age.

Charlie - posted on 10/19/2011

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Has she been assessed ?
Have you had more than one opinion ?
Is she at the lower end of the developmental range but still within it or beyond what is develpmentally normal ?
Because unless she has gone over the general reccomended age gap there is no delay yet, some kids do take longer no big deal if its just the lower end of the spectrum.

I dont expect you to answer these but they are things you have to think about.
If I as a parent know what is age appropriate , where on the spectrum my child lies in reguards to development, if my instincts tell me something is up on top of all of that I would get a few opinions.

If in the end I had a few opinions and they all agreed it seems ok based on movement of mouth and surrent development then I personally would let it go for a month or two, monitor it , check progress if in a few months improvement hasnt occured then get rechecked.

I can empathise with parents who find out about a possible delay, the best way forward for everyone is to be proactive not to stick your head in the sand ( not saying you are but MY GOSH I saw so many parents who refused assessment and making their childs delay worse)


Anyway there is a difference between taking their time and having an actual delay.

Janice - posted on 10/19/2011

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Ok, that was my frustrated mom side talking.

I do know that there is some value to gender research. I can't just dismiss that. What I want to know if the differences have really been shown to be so solid why isn't there differentiation when evaluating children for services?

I had my daughter evaluated at 17 months and everything I saw during assessment was gender neutral. My degree in Education is not in special Ed but I was required to learn about common assessments and there are no differences in scoring based on gender.

Janice - posted on 10/19/2011

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If this gender research is true than why is it every time I bring up concerns about my daughters speech issues, I'm told she is completely fine and that I worry too much?



Your Welcome Sherri.

Iridescent - posted on 10/19/2011

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Feen, they do not make requirements by using gender, period. I have three four year olds. Each of them goes through developmental testing at least yearly. My son is not graded as being less delayed simply because he is a boy. My better developed daughter is not graded as being less advanced because she is a girl. It's a flat guideline, across both genders, identical tests and grading system for all three.

Charlie - posted on 10/19/2011

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The guidlines provide an all round basis but it is known among proffesionals and teachers the different developmetal ages for boys and girls which is why we are able to make requirements for the individual using gender as one of many guidlines.

Janice - posted on 10/19/2011

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I really feel where your coming from Sherri. I am easily impacted by comparisons even though I "know better"
My daughter has been on the late end of normal for most milestones. Because she is a girl and "should" be doing things early I'm constantly worried. The logical part of me knows she is fine but the constant comparisons get to the emotional, protective, mom part of me.

Charlie - posted on 10/19/2011

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The comparisons are based on statistics your getting annoyed at facts.



I've had hundreds of toddlers and children through my school when I was teaching, real life is present in the statistics as I have seen.



I mean you can say the sky is green and that is the "norm" according to you but it is still going to be blue according to fact and real life statistical analysis.

Iridescent - posted on 10/19/2011

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Considering at infant and toddler evaluations for development that there is not a separate guideline to determine developmental age, I don't think the difference is proven well enough to firmly say that boys are later than girls in this area statistically, and earlier in that area. If that were truly the case, they would have a male and a female developmental guideline for the same developmental tests.

Sherri - posted on 10/19/2011

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The statistics don't bother me the constant comparisons bug me. It is in so many posts it is sickening and quite honestly it is needless to say. So yes it is bloody annoying.

Especially since as infants and toddlers they typically meet milestones at roughly the same ages. So there information isn't always accurate.

Janice - posted on 10/19/2011

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I haven't read all the previous posts. I am just going to give you my immediate reaction.

I agree with you, Sherri it is annoying and wrong. Although usually I hear the opposite about boys walking. :)

I worked in daycare and I have met little boys who were knew their alphabet at 15 months and girls who didn't potty train till age 3. Every child is an individual.

Yes, you can look at statistics and there are tendencies but they aren't very helpful to a concerned parent.

Brittany - posted on 10/19/2011

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Sheeri,

I believe these stereotypes come from the fact that boys do mature slower then girls. This does not make them any less then girls. Females are born with all of their eggs and reproductive organs ready to go, males are not. It is no big deal, honestly.

I have both boys and girls. Caoleb walked at an earlier age then Caoilainn and Rauri. Rauri talked at an earlier age then Caoleb or Caoilainn, he was also potty trained at an earlier age then either of them. Caoilainn has and continues to develop socially faster then both of the boys. Caoilainn learned her ABC's at an earlier age then the boys but, Rauri could count at an earlier age and Caoleb could write better at an earlier age. Caoilainn can color inside the lines and neither of the boys can or want to. Caoleb and Rauri can run the PS3 and Caoilainn can paint her nails perfect.

I also have stair-step children. They all kind of developed at the same time and I played hard to their strengths. We work on their softer spots also.

Every child is different and they all have the same potential.

[deleted account]

No clue.

I started potty training my girls at 18 months. They were day trained (w/ accidents) a few months before turning 3 and night trained (w/ accidents) at 4.5. I didn't potty train my son and he was day and night trained (w/ virtually no accidents) about 3 months before his 3rd birthday.

He also took his first step a month and a half before they did.

He IS a bit slower on the academic stuff, but I don't have the time or energy to work w/ him nearly as much as I did w/ his sisters. He also struggles more w/ fine motor skills, but he's also left handed and I think we're both trying to figure out how to make that work. ;)

~♥Little Miss - posted on 10/19/2011

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Well really, it goes throughout youth. Just prohibiting the topic to toddlers and infants doesn't cover it all. It is said through growth and development years as a whole, not just designated to infancy to 4 years. It is actually even MORE noticeable IMO the older they are.

Amie - posted on 10/19/2011

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I've never actually seen anyone put it that way. I do know (and have seen posted) that statisically it's true. There is a difference.

I've also found if people want to be offended, they will find a way to be offended.

None of those statements bother me. The only statistic my own son fell under was the late potty trained one. He hit his milestones, even if he was the latest one out of my girls he still hit them in the normal range.

The normal range is also huge I might add and for on here - We don't know the individual children so of course we're going to speak in generalities and statistics.

Sherri - posted on 10/19/2011

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@Marina I am not taking about preteen and teens. I am talking about infants and toddlers.

Charlie - posted on 10/19/2011

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It's not that they "Can't " but statistically and biologically they develop at a different rate to girls of course there are exceptions but they are just that........exceptions to the rule.



Its basic human development backed with scientific fact, it has no bearing on a childs abilities nor is it offensive it just is.

[deleted account]

Science backs it up. Men and women have different brain size, shape, and surface area. Our brains also function completely different. So obviously we will see a difference in how the brain develops. They hit growth spurts and puberty at different times too. Boys being more high strung though, thats a load of crap. Anyone can have that personality trait.

Becky - posted on 10/19/2011

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While I don't disagree that it's true statistically - it's hard to disagree with statistics - I think that generalizing and stereotyping can be harmful to both genders. Like someone else mentioned, if you have the attitude of "Well, boys are just slower than girls" it could cause a parent to overlook legitimate delays that their son has. Conversely, it could also cause parents to put undue pressure on their daughters or to worry unnecessarily if their daughters don't do things as early as their sons did.

I think it is very important to remember that each child, regardless of gender, is an individual and will do things at their own pace. Some boys may do some things earlier than girls and other things later. My boys both walked earlier than their younger female cousins and I would say that their speech developed slightly faster as well, although it's hard to really say that, as my youngest is 7 months older than his next cousin, who is a girl. Their older female cousin, on the other hand, did most things earlier than they did, except sitting and crawling, both of which they did fairly early. She could carry on a full conversation by the time she was 2, which Zach definitely can't do yet, although he sure tries! And she definitely potty trained earlier than any of the boys in our family have so far!

~♥Little Miss - posted on 10/19/2011

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Ok, well if you want to compare puberty an maturity levels, girls hit puberty much young than boys do. Usually girls maturity levels are about 2 years ahead of boys. Are there accept ions? Of course.

Stifler's - posted on 10/19/2011

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I have one of each and so far renae has hit the milestones around the same times Logan did.

Amanda - posted on 10/19/2011

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I think it totally depends on the child.
I have one of each.

They have both acheived different milestones at different times. My son was crawling at 7 months my daughter was nearly 10 months. My son was cruising furniture at 9 months and running at 12 months, my daughter was nearly 12 months when she started cruising and nearly 14 months when she walked. Both my kids are as active as each other.
Both said their first words at around 7 or 8 months, my son started speaking in 3 or 4 word sentences just after he turned 2 my daughter was doing this by 15 months.
My son was a pro with his colours and shapes and could sort shapes and sizes into groups, my daughter still has days where she struggles.

They are both bright kids but have just excelled in different areas at different times.

Just to add my son was also preemie and my daughter was full term.

Johnny - posted on 10/19/2011

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Yet again, for the peanut gallery, anecdotal stories do not provide general information. Broad statistical analysis is required for that. Quantative vs. qualitative information. While both are informative, the "norm" can only be determined through broader study.

Sherri - posted on 10/19/2011

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I have been working with children Dyan for 21 yrs and I will tell you I find it not to be the norm. Boys sometimes did things slower but I found just as many girls did also.

Rosie - posted on 10/19/2011

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because all of those things are relatively true. o bviously not for all of the same gender, but for the most part yes, it's true.

i think the reason you see it here so much, is that someone is comparing their child to another persons child, and it's mentioned to help them feel better-like their kid is still normal.



nobody is saying boys are idiots or slow, but they generally do things after a girl does. i have all boys too sherri, and it actually makes me feel better to hear these things sometimes. my boys were always slower doing things than my sisters girls, and i thought that they were really behind, come to find out it's normal.

Elfrieda - posted on 10/19/2011

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Sherri, that may be true. I don't think we'd know unless we did that experiment. (40 kids is a pretty small sample, but bigger than the usual "well this is how my kids were" that we usually hear about.)

I tend to believe parents of older kids, especially if they have personal anecdotes about a son vs a daughter, but I'm not saying it's all gospel truth.

I might be guilty of looking at my own son and every time he does something before "the norm", I say "it's because he's a genius!" and every time he lags behind, I say, "oh, it's just because he's a boy and he's learning other things first, he'll catch up... because he's a genius!" :P (I only say such things to my husband, because I know he agrees with me, lol, I still want to keep my other mommy friends!)

JuLeah - posted on 10/19/2011

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In some culture they really don't Sherri. We just like labels here. Maybe we feel more in control if we have a label for something?

Sherri - posted on 10/19/2011

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@Elfrieda I think that I find that if you put 20 girls in a room and 20 boys in a room. Every kid will do things at different rates and it has zero to do with there gender. Some boys will meet milestones faster and some girls will meet milestones faster. So why the hell do we keep stereotyping them and instead of just seeing them as individuals that will meet milestones as individual children not because they are a certain gender.

Elfrieda - posted on 10/19/2011

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Off-topic rant:
If you want to know what makes mad, it's how boys and men are portrayed in tv and commercials, and sometimes when women talk among themselves! They are so pitifully stupid, also rude and selfish. What the heck? I don't know many men like that. My dad is a wonderful man, I married a very smart and sensitive guy, all his brothers are pretty great, my father-in-law is a good man, and I do not care for my son to grow up in a society that trains him to be a Homer Simpson! Grrr!

Elfrieda - posted on 10/19/2011

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I've heard the slower talking and potty-training thing, but I haven't been insulted by it. I just thought it was a bit interesting and a bit reassuring (late talking son over here), and like Marina says, it just has to do with what parts of their brains develop first.

I don't think it's good or bad, unless people start saying, "Every boy is slower at everything than every girl." I think it's probably a matter of what is important to us as parents. We wait and wait for the kid to finally speak to us, but we don't really care so much about the spatial skills like block stacking and similar. Men are usually better at spatial stuff, and women are usually better verbally, so why wouldn't it start that way as kids?

~♥Little Miss - posted on 10/19/2011

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BUT, every child is different, and should be allowed to explore things in their own time and growth.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 10/19/2011

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Well, it is a proven fact that girls mature quicker than boys. So yes, it makes sense that girls may hit mile stones sooner. They are different on a chemical level along with a physical level. Hell, I have a boy and a girl and I see a complete difference. BUT, my son is much more sensitive and empathetic than his sister. Don't know if that means a damned thing, but it is true.

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