Breastfeeding?

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Angela - posted on 09/18/2010

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I NIP wherever, whenever as discreetly as my little one will allow. If people look they look. If they don't, they don't. I'm here to feed my baby, not to be the thought police for teenage boys,or of anyone else. The idea that women need to hide while breastfeeding in case someone might have "perverse" thoughts seems to come from the same line of thinking that women shouldn't be in the workplace because their very presence would be distracting to men.

Jodi - posted on 09/17/2010

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Jessica, I can see Sharon's point. For instance, my son goes to a boy's school. LOTS of hormonal, teenage boys. Do you think it is appropriate to breastfeed wherever you damn please in THAT environment? I don't. Boys that age will have a wet dream because they saw a "bit of boob". Heck, they get off on looking down someone's mum's cleavage. I do think that there should be some consideration for environment and circumstances. In that instance, yes, I should find a quiet room somewhere.

Cassie - posted on 09/18/2010

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I think the sweat adds some flavor Sharon. ;P

I feed my daughter in public when the need arises. I never leave the house in an outfit that wouldn't allow me to NIP with complete skin coverage. Basically, Emma just looks like she's sleeping on me. I will never set out to make anyone uncomfortable by my feeding my daughter but I also will not shut myself up in my home, car, or a bathroom to make others feel more comfortable.

Angela - posted on 09/18/2010

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I'm not trying to prove a point. I understand where you are coming from, I just don't agree with it. I'm trying to feed my son, and it seems the appropriateness of a place is always dependant upon the most easily offended person in the room. When my son is hungry, taking care of his needs as quickly as possible is my top priority.

Dana - posted on 09/18/2010

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I think a mother has every right to breastfeed where ever she wants. Even if it is at an all boys school.
Of course I've also walked around Walmart shopping while breastfeeding my son. When your kid is hungry you don't have time to wander around to find some where that's deemed "appropriate" by people who have issue with it.

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Kim - posted on 09/22/2010

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I agree you should be able to feed your baby when/where he/she is hungry. Most Moms don't make a show of it.....so if some stranger wants to turn it into one maybe they should pay admission!

[deleted account]

I remember, when my daughter was first born, I had weekly midwife appointments to make sure DD was doing well. I was nursing in the car, I figured tinted windows except for the front window isn't bad, right? Wrong! So many people gave me dirty looks through my CAR WINDOW. I thought I was being discreet enough...
Like one poster said, I usually use a cover because I didn't want others to be uncomfortable and it wasn't nice for me to have to leave a room, be left out of the conversation, or stop my meal because my DD had to feed. I hated that stupid cover, though. It was hard to see if she latched properly, she would sweat underneath it (which made me worry about how good that was, you know, overheating and such). But I wore it anyway, lol.
I hate that in a country, Canada, that has made it legal to go topless, there is still an issue with BF. I'm allowed to be sexual, but not nourish my baby? Really?

Michelle - posted on 09/20/2010

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I have no issue with mom's the NIP. The only time I was a little shocked was when my husband, daughter and I were walking through Walmart and a mom had her breast resting on the handle of a cart while her child fed. I guess I was more suprised then anything! I would think you would want to carry your child or sit with them while they ate.

Becky - posted on 09/20/2010

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Oh, and I was going to add, because someone asked what you'd tell your children if they saw someone else doing it. I wouldn't need to tell my son anything, he'd know what was going on, because that's how his baby brother is fed! He'd be more likely to ask what was happening if he saw someone bottle feeding! If he saw breastfeeding, he'd probably say, very loudly, "Mommy, is that baby eating boobie?" :) (he's 2, what can I say?!)

Petra - posted on 09/20/2010

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Lol - Laura, the nip thing took me a minute to get too.

In Canada most larger stores & businesses have a family room with a cozy chair and change tables where you can change and nurse your baby privately if you want to. Makes it much easier to go on those big shopping trips. Even though I've caught a lot of dirty looks for breastfeeding in cafes & restaurants (I use the family room at the mall, ikea, babies r us, etc.) no one has ever actually had the nuts to say something to me. If someone wants to make their point by staring, glaring and pointing while whispering to their buddies, I think its pretty weak sauce and I just have to laugh that they'll go to all that trouble to make it clear that they're offended by my breast being used in public. I don't flash boob, but I've had a hard time using a nursing cape so I usually wear a big sweater or top with easy boob access and you really can't see anything. And the weird thing I've found is that it tends to be women who do the obvious offended thing, not men. Men seem to just look away really quick once they realize I'm nursing.

Isobel - posted on 09/20/2010

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Kati, I've also heard the term "taking a nip" referring to drinking in the afternoon...if you read it all from that angle it puts a really interesting spin on the conversation gqtm

[deleted account]

I breastfeed almost anywhere but i tend to cover up with a blanket at least until hes latched on then i cover my boob with my t shirt. Saying that i have three older sons and although i breastfeed in front of them when their friends are over i will either go into another room or ask the kids to go in another room out of respect for that child. I dont want to embarrass the hell out of some poor 11 year old boy, just because my kids are used to their mother flashing boob doesnt mean everyone else is.

Becky - posted on 09/19/2010

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I have breastfed pretty much anywhere and everywhere - in the Walmart portrait studio, in church, sitting in the bank signing mortgage papers, in a restaurant, on a park bench, in the mall food court... so nope, I have no problem nursing in public! And of course, I have no problem with anyone else doing it either. I do try to be as discreet as possible. If I can do it discreetly without a cover, I will. If not, I use a cover. I would have no problem doing it while I was signing papers for a car - don't see that as any different than while I'm signing mortgage papers! But in that situation, I would use a cover. Same thing if I was at an all boys school for some reason, or another place that was predominantly male.
I don't think I have ever even gotten so much as a dirty look while breastfeeding, although usually I don't pay attention anyways. But every once in a while - usually after reading one of these debates, I like to be a little more deliberate about my breastfeeding in public (not flashing it or anything!) and pay more attention to people's reactions, and I've still never seen anyone have any sort of reaction to it.
As an aside, I have been in the US twice in the last month and noticed that aside from myself and my sister in law, I did not see a single person breastfeeding in public! Maybe I was just never in the right place at the right time, but I would think out of the zoo, the mall playground and department stores, I'd see it at least once! But nope! I found that really odd.

[deleted account]

Personally, I felt comfortable breastfeeding in public, but I didn't feel comfortable showing my breasts. I managed by wearing the right clothes to cover everything. I BF'd outside, in restaurants and in church. There were times when I accidently showed more than I wanted to and I felt a bit silly, but it wasn't intentional and I don't think anyone was offended.

[deleted account]

I think it really boils down to a mother's comfort level about NIP. If she is comfrtable, then there's no issue. If a mother is not 100% comfortable, then the whole nursing session is not going to be smooth sailing. It took me months to be comfrtable to NIP, but I can honestly say I was never 100% comfortable. By 9 months, my milk was all dried up and done with nursing forever. If some strange miracle should occur and I end up with an oopsie baby, I know I'll have a more confident attitude from the beginning about NIP. It's all about what works best for the mom.

Petra - posted on 09/19/2010

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Dude, I was bf'ing my son in my car, in a Tim Horton's parking lot, and getting death glares from the old ladies in the car one spot over. There are some people who take offense regardless of where you are. I did the whole gangsta chin nod to them and smiled. They can take offense if they like, and I can nurse my boy where I like. I love Canada and our hippie laws.

[deleted account]

I very much agree with Jaime and the others who've pretty much said the same thing keeping in mind I didn't read all 63 other comments first....just skimmed....while I might choose not to watch I believe that is MY choice and as a breastfeeding mommy, "do whatcha like".....I have my choice, you have yours.

Jaime - posted on 09/18/2010

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Even if a woman whips out her big ol' milky boob and flashes it at me while proclaiming "I am now going to breastfeed my child", it still wouldn't bother me. I mean, I might tell her to take it down a notch before she accidentally hits some geriatric in the eye with her boobalicious milk, but otherwise have at er'.

Rosie - posted on 09/18/2010

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when cassie said NIP i thought she was talking about nipping out!!!! LMFAO!!! i was confused for a bit, why on earth would she want an outfit that makes sure she nips??? ....i can't stop laughing i'm a dumb ass...

Minnie - posted on 09/18/2010

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What about the example I gave? Would you REALLY sit down in the courtyard of a boy's school, where there are 1200 teenage boys who WILL get worked up over seeing boobs, and breastfeed, rather than going to find a quiet office somewhere?



Like Teresa, I personally have no reason to be at an all-boys school, being the mother of two girls. Why would I be there? OK say I have a teenage son and an oopise newborn now. Of course I would nurse my baby there. Teenage boys are everywhere else too, you know.

Minnie - posted on 09/18/2010

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for gods sake feed your kid a balanced meal from a sterilized bottle



Not so sure the container is what matters but what's in it.

Serve me up another helping of enterobacter sakazakii! MMMMMMMMMM

Sharon - posted on 09/18/2010

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didn't we just debate this a dozen times last week?

I hate it, keep your tits underwraps and for gods sake feed your kid a balanced meal from a sterilized bottle and not your sweaty boob.

Angela - posted on 09/18/2010

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American's aren't prudes. We just live in a sexually schizophrenic or is it bipolar society. lol :)

Jodi - posted on 09/18/2010

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No, no-one in particular Dana :) Just in general!! Playing devil's advocate, LOL. Trying to be the lone dissenter in a debate, which wouldn't be a debate if we all agreed!!!

Dana - posted on 09/18/2010

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Not sure if you're reply to me Jodi or not but, to be clear, I wasn't replying to anyone, just making a post in general.

Jodi - posted on 09/18/2010

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I never said there was anything wrong with it. I just said I believe that if there are alternatives in SOME situations, they should be used. I honestly wouldn't even bat an eyelid and neither would my children, but I was just throwing an example out there where *I* believe breastfeeding mothers should be more mindful of circumstances and environment.

Dana - posted on 09/18/2010

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In Sharon's situation, I would have said, excuse me, I'm going to feed my son while we discuss this and proceed to do so. I really had no issues feeding my child. All you're doing is feeding your child, what is wrong with that?

[deleted account]

I do get your point, Jodi. And yes, if it was JUST as easy, practical, and comfortable to move in that type of situation than I might've done just that. I never nursed my son to prove a point to anyone. Just to comfort/feed him. There were a couple of times that I was subconsciously uncomfortable w/ nursing my son (like in the crowded cafeteria at the girls school), but it was either that, listen to him fuss/scream, or miss my kids on stage, so.... Thankfully no one ever said a word to me anywhere I nursed him or I probably would've lost it (emotionally... by bawling my eyes out).

[deleted account]

I'm not bothered, most of the women who I've seen are very discreet. Personally it wouldn't be something I'd feel comfortable doing but it's the woman's personal choice =]

Jodi - posted on 09/18/2010

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I think my point is, that IF a situation or circumstance could potentially make others uncomfortable or cause issues, and an alternative which is just as comfortable and convenient is available to you, why NOT choose the alternative? Or do you choose not to just to prove a point.

Don't you think a quiet room under some circumstances is ALSO more conducive to a peaceful feeding? I used to find that if there was too much going on around me my daughter wouldn't feed as well anyway.

Angela - posted on 09/18/2010

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I think the biggest question I have is: if I'm doing nothing wrong, why do I have to accomodate for other people's hang ups?

[deleted account]

If the mother BF is uncomfortable in those scenarios, they are well within their rights to choose to find somewhere else to nurse. But, there are nursing covers and blankets for those that don't want to drop what they are doing because baby needs a snack. I was quite modest while nursing. I was nervous of public reaction and had my own hang ups about the breast. However, I do feel that, even in the situation with teen boys, once BF becomes a norm, there will be no need to worry about wet dreams, etc. Those teen boys are probably going to be out in public at some point anyway, what's the difference if they see BF in their school or in the local mall?



I hope to change my hang ups in the future, with #2. The nursing cover is a pain in my a@&! DD always sweat underneath it, it was never staying in place, I couldn't latch her well underneath it, ugh! I LOVE all those who can do without it, I want to emulate them someday.

[deleted account]

I find nothing wrong with it at all.I find if you dont bat an eye at a woman bottle feeding why a woman b/f.If b/m is your child's only way of nourishment then you b/f where ever you want..Just like formula was my children's only form of nourishment in the first few mths and i bottle feed where ever i want.I support all b/f mothers and i am all for b/f in public my sister did it on both her children and her second for two years.No one cared and half the time to others they probably didnt even know she was.Where i live its not very common to b/f ..people do see it like your baby is hungry you feed them..its not about others comfort its about you and your baby.. all b/f moms i have seen are discreet..were the breast is not exposed for all to see.You would think because its not so common people would say something etc but no.i think its fantastic

Krista - posted on 09/18/2010

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I think that the more people breastfeed in public, the more accustomed to it we will all get, until hopefully, some day, it won't be a big deal.

Jodi - posted on 09/18/2010

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Well, I'm sorry, I just think that if other options are available in some circumstances, they should be considered. In my opinion there ARE occasionally situations where I think it could be inappropriate, and if you have an alternative which is equally comfortable for both you and baby in those situations, then you shouldn't ignore that just to prove a point.

Jessica - posted on 09/18/2010

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I can see how in Jodi's or Sharon's example, that one might find it better to go somewhere else. In fact- I probably would have as well. For all that I was/am gung-ho about NIP, when it came down to it I was actually more scared to than I wanted to be. But those were just my insecurities and I hope to change with this next baby, because it sure did cause a lot of inconvenience feeling like I had to go somewhere else if I was in the middle of something.

And the difference is, I don't think women SHOULD have to go somewhere else in those situations, if they are just fine nursing where they are. The reason women feel insecure NIP in the first place is because our society still has this big taboo against it for some reason, and still sees breasts as primarily sexual and not functional.

Jodi - posted on 09/18/2010

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"Third, I think those teenage boys would get worked up and have wet dreams about ANYTHING. Your full breasts swelling against your t-shirt, for example. I still don't see an issue. They are going to be supportive fathers one day, too."



Yes, I understand that, but how is it appropriate to exacerbate the situation by breastfeeding in front of them, when you have the option to find a private space? Don't you think, there are occasional situations where, if another option is available to you, you should use it?

[deleted account]

First, in response, I have no problem with breastfeeding ANYWHERE. You should take someone else's comfort into consideration, but most BF moms can do it discreetly without an exposed boob.
Second, I agree with the dealership responses. You wouldn't hide a bottle, why a breast?
Third, I think those teenage boys would get worked up and have wet dreams about ANYTHING. Your full breasts swelling against your t-shirt, for example. I still don't see an issue. They are going to be supportive fathers one day, too.
Fourth, funny story: I actually was pretty modest about my breastfeeding. As in, I would do it anywhere but with a cover. I hope to get over that, but I will always use a cover with my male friends, as it makes my hubby more comfortable. Anyway, I went to Holland, because we have family there, and they thought my nursing cover was the weirdest thing they had ever seen. Every time I was nursing they would frown at me, or laugh. It was quite an interesting response!

Having said that, I also live in Canada where it has a topless law. I doubt a little public nursing would turn any heads.

[deleted account]

Well, Jodi... seeing as I have 2 girls in the 4th grade and a toddler boy... I would have no reason to be AT an all boys school, so it wouldn't be an issue. :) I just know that anywhere I HAD been for the first 2 years of my son's life, I never had any problems w/ nursing him there.

Jodi - posted on 09/17/2010

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What about the example I gave? Would you REALLY sit down in the courtyard of a boy's school, where there are 1200 teenage boys who WILL get worked up over seeing boobs, and breastfeed, rather than going to find a quiet office somewhere? I truly do believe there are exceptions to the view that we should be able to breastfeed anywhere.

Minnie - posted on 09/17/2010

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Sharon, in your car dealership example, my daughter would likely have been in a carrier and I would indeed have nursed her. No biggie. If you had a toddler with you wouldn't you carry a snack or two for him while you both waited?

[deleted account]

I nursed my son anywhere and everywhere that he needed/wanted to nurse and I could sit at least semi-comfortably for 2 years. Church, friends houses, the beach, the girls gymnastics, probably during a few of their soccer games and practices last season (when he was a year and a half), in a court house, meeting w/ my lawyer, on a couch in Costco.... just to name a few. ;)

Ez - posted on 09/17/2010

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I actually don't even understand why this is a debateable topic. Nobody questions whether a baby should have a bottle in public, or a 4yo should have a cracker. It's no different. Baby is hungry... baby is fed by the breast... baby is put to the breast. Pretty simple really.

Joann - posted on 09/17/2010

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haha sara now thats a inteserting question i gotta feeling most will say yes it would be ok because its most common and not a boob. lol but why is ok for a bottle to be give in public anywhere you are and not ok for a mother to breastfeed your boob atm of feeding is the childs bottle right??? why is it such a big deal?

Charlie - posted on 09/17/2010

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hmmm interesting question and i have a feeling that people may answer yes , i look forward to seeing the responses to that question Sara .

Charlie - posted on 09/17/2010

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Sharon with that situation that is why i say where it is ok for people to eat it should be ok for baby .

I wouldn't bust out a sandwich while in discussion with a car dealer either , i would have excused myself and gone to the car because i always carry a nursing pillow and its comfy in there to feed if i need to , but i do understand where you are coming from .

[deleted account]

Sharon, I probably would have excused myself in that situation. But I hope we can come to the point where breastfeeding is so normal and accepted that we don't feel like we have to do that. And I know, that by being a little shy about it I'm not really helping the situation. Maybe that's something I can work on with this next baby. =)

Joann - posted on 09/17/2010

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if a mother was to do it around here everyone would make a big deal about it too.but for the most part i dont see a problem with it because it has to be done.what i dont like is the mothers who call attention to themselves because one person takes a glance her way.its a normal reaction to look when a woman has her boob out.as for my child i wouldnt have thought to go to the library and show him which animals BF so thanks for that sharon

[deleted account]

"I can agree that some situations may not be "ideal" to nurse in, but when it comes down to it, if you have to feed your baby, you feed your baby. I don't see the need to restrict it if you are comfortable with it. It just seems contradictory to me to claim that you are ok with women NIP but not ok with women feeling that they SHOULD be able to nurse where ever/when ever. "

Then I suppose we'll agree to disagree. Here's a personal example of when teh situation just wasn;t ideal for me. (Perhaps you would have dealt with it differently) When my son was 5 months old, we were shopping around several dealers for a new car. We didn;t plan on being out for hours, but we were. Eventually, my son woke up and was hungry. We were just settling down with the dealer to discuss the financial end of things. But my son was just getting fussier and fussier. I suppose I *could* have just stuck him on a boob in front of the guy while we spent the next 45 minutes going over the financial parts, signing, loans, etc. But for me, that was not being mindful of my environment and my surroundings. I nursed my son for just a few moments in the car until we got home. After a full belly, my mom came over so we could finish with the car dealer. Again, yo umay have dealt with nursing in public differently, I decided this was best for me & my son.

Charlie - posted on 09/17/2010

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I often wonder if hands were made out to be a sexual object like breasts would people cover them up ? would they be embarrassed to show them ? would there be an outcry over an un gloved hand ? After all hands play a huge part in sex and foreplay but are also functional .

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