Breastfeeding transgender dad. Thoughts?

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/23/2012 ( 15 moms have responded )

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http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/breastf...



This article is perplexing. On one hand, he made the choice to become a man and live like a man, but is upset when he is treated like a man. Even though he has recieved a lot of assistance without judgement. On the other hand, I give him kudos for making such huge efforts to BF, and feel people need to live their lives the way they want to. I cannot say that I would have felt comfortable after having called LLL having a man come and assist me on breastfeeding my infants. Men do not BF. They physically cannot. Period, unless they were once a women. So if a man came into my home to teach me to BF and never was a women, I would be uncertain they could help due to lack of experience first hand. This is all very interesting and am looking forward to everyones insight. Should he be treated like a man or a women when it comes to BFing, and either way is it fair?

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Stifler's - posted on 08/24/2012

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Next they will be banning male midwives and childless women from being midwives.

Lady Heather - posted on 08/23/2012

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What about Dr. Newman? He's like umm..."the man" when it comes to breastfeeding. Ha.



I will say this though - I know a couple ladies who know this guy personally and one says he does like to be in the spotlight and she wonders if all the media attention is more about getting in the news.



Myself, I think meh - it might be a problem if it were a small town and there was only a man and the ladies weren't comfortable with it. But there is an element of beggars can't be choosers to that situation too. In this case I don't think anyone is going to be forced to use this guy as an LC and if he wants his niche to be LGBT well...good on him.

Johnny - posted on 08/23/2012

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Well, I'm okay with it. I don't care what gender you have decided to be, if you've breastfed then you've breastfed. Simple as that. I got crapass rude help from the LLL and they aren't particularly among my favorite of groups. My dad and husband gave me more support than those sanctimommies, and they're men (born that way and never breastfed). So if he wants to give support to women and actually has had the experience to really do it right, then I am fine with it.



Perhaps because I also breastfed after a breast reduction and managed to do it for 2 years, I could have really used the help of someone who else who did it too. I struggled and the women at LLL basically told me either "try harder" or "you don't really care because if you did you wouldn't have had the reduction." Honestly, given the women that I met at their meetings, I'd half expect that they don't care that he is a man, they just care that his entire life didn't revolve around the fact that one day he might need his breasts to feed a baby. Heaven forbid!



The other thing is that I am slowly learning that it really isn't necessary to think of gender along really strict lines. It does us no benefit. Things don't have to be "men's stuff" or "women's stuff" they can all just be whatever. I think it's a hang up we just need to let go. If he became a man but still has a woman's ability to breastfeed, then fine. I'm not going to get hung up on expecting him to "pick a gender and stick with it". Meh.

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Tina - posted on 08/28/2012

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I can honestly say when I was in hospital with my first I was actually shocked. Because I'd had a lot of pushy midwives telling me to breast feed when I was having trouble with my son. One night I spent in hospital I had a male midwife. I can honestly say he gave the best advice and was very nice. Unless the other. I was quite surprised. I don't generally listen to men when it comes to those sort of things but he seemed to have good knowledge and good bedside manner. He made it a whole lot less stressful compared to the other midwives who'd grab at my boobs and try to tell me what to do even though most of them didn't really have a clue. He may be a man but hey. He's also a parent who wants to do what's best for bubs. The babies not going to remember. If he/she feels that's what they want to do and they want to give it a go who cares.

Kristi - posted on 08/27/2012

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Well, at least he's not hairy chested...



I don't know. Maybe I'm not as open-minded as I thought I was. Maybe I'm a bigot. I just find it unnatural and creepy. I would be one of those who thought "pervert" (and then some) if I saw them in public. I guess the whole I want to be a dude but I still want to have sex with, marry and be a mother with a man thing throws me off. But, it's not for me to understand, it's about what makes their family happy.



I do agree with Jackie, that if this gets around (and it is surely to get around) this poor kid's life is going to be hell. The kind of bullying and abuse this kid is likely to receive will be nothing short of traumatic. Hopefully, he won't turn that around on his parents. I don't think this individual is taking into account what effects this publicity will have on the child. I'm not saying transgender people can't or shouldn't breast feed. However, I don't think there needs to be some kind public outcry, either.



I suppose I sound like an ignorant bigot. I read several articles from different websites about what it means to be transgender, healthcare for trans, preserving sperm/eggs for future use, etc. Even though I understand the words, I still don't understand turning one's self into man because one feels like a man yet still feels the desire to be prego and breastfeed. I'm a simpleton who just can't wrap her mind around that. (as I'm sure is obviously clear by my post)



This website refers to transgender-ism as a disorder. Does that mean "it" can be cured? If not, why call it a disorder? I don't think being l/g/b is considered a disorder, at least not in this article or in any of the others that I read. Maybe I should see if there is an Idiot's Guide for Ignorants about Transgender People.



http://www.acog.org/About_ACOG/ACOG_Depa...



Eh--who am I to judge? Nobody. : )

Kristi - posted on 08/27/2012

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Little Miss--



My initial reaction was WTF is she talking about, that is nasty...the mental image of a hairy chested man in a dress with his top open just gave me the "gag reflex." I will have to read the article before I can render "judgement!" lol

Cherish - posted on 08/26/2012

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It is a interesting story...

Since he had surgery and has very little breast tissue,maybe he would be a good LC??Seems like he probably had a harder time BFing than someone with more tissue??



I wonder if he BF in public?I bet people would think he is a pervert or something,if they did not know.



I agree there seems to be more male OB/GYN's....which I do not like either,it is weird and awkward...especially if they are young and cute..lol

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/26/2012

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I don't like having a male, but I have had more male gynos than females. My current one is pretty hot and young, and it makes me embarrassed.

Stifler's - posted on 08/26/2012

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I've had 3 different gynos and they were all male. It was no big deal. Just like a male doctor isn't a big deal to me they see naked people all day every day.

**Jackie** - posted on 08/26/2012

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I've never had a male gyno, I've had the same gyno since I was 17. I book my next appointment while I'm at my appointment because she's booked like 6 months in advance. Yeah, I'm not sure how I'd feel about a male gyno.



I mean I know this is 2012, but I just think women should be women and men should be men. If you want a sex change operation then go on with your bad self but then you should be treated as that gender.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/26/2012

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Actually I am very uncomfortable with a male gyno, but women get booked up so fast it is difficult to get an appointment.

**Jackie** - posted on 08/25/2012

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I don't think there should be a problem with him being a BFing counselor. I'm just saying I would rather a mother who was a woman...that's just me. Call me old-fashioned

Stifler's - posted on 08/24/2012

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I also love how people are comfortable with male gynaecologists and doctors sticking things in their vagina but not helping them breastfeed.

Stifler's - posted on 08/24/2012

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I think he has breastfed so why can't he be a breastfeeding counselor? I don't really care about his gender or sexuality or whatever.

**Jackie** - posted on 08/24/2012

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If he wants to be a man, goes through the surgery then he's a man. I would expect him to go to men's bathrooms etc. I have absolutely no problem in the world when a man wants to be a woman or a woman wants to be a man. Who am I to decide what you feel, in your heart, is your true gender?



Having said that, I have to admit that while reading this story...it just didn't sit well with me. I mean, I hope this boy loves parents regardless or any of this but he is going to be confused, he WILL get picked on. Shit, you get picked on for having glasses or braces in school...imagine this?



As far has him being in the breastfeeding group, I would have a problem with it. If I needed someone to come and help me BF, I would assume that it would not only be a woman but a mother as well. If a man walked in, I would be uncomfortable. If you want to be a man, you're a man.



Here's where I'm torn: kudos to him for BFing though.



I guess I'm just left with that "slanted-head" look

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