bringing children to midnight showings of movies

Rosie - posted on 07/21/2012 ( 162 moms have responded )

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the shooting in a colorado movie theatre of course was horrible, and even more horrible to me is that children got hurt. it got me thinking why there were even children there in the first place. why on earth would people wake their children up (or keep them up i guess) to go to the movies at midnight, and then stay up until 3 am just so they can have some fun adult times. it doesn't make sense to me. i'm alright with people bringing their kids to the movies (somewhat), i understand sometimes getting a babysitter is hard when you are already spending the money on the movie, but can't you go at an earlier time? why make them miserable, and yourself miserable the next day cause you have grumpy whiny kids? what do you think?

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Becky - posted on 07/30/2012

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Regardless of whether you view allowing your children to be at that movie as a poor parenting choice, none of the responsibility for the childrens' death or injuries lies with their parents in this case. (Except maybe the guy who panicked and ran out on his fiance and kids...!) By that logic, children who were left at home but now have lost their mother or father as a result of this incident can also blame their parents for being at that movie in the first place. Poor parenting or not, nobody expects someone to open fire at the movie theater, no matter what the movie or what time of day it is. Or, no one expected it before this. Now, people might be a little more nervous going to the movies. None of these parents were intentionally risking anything more than having cranky, overtired kids the next day.

Jodi - posted on 07/22/2012

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I thought I'd share this. It is mind-boggling to me that a man can purchase the guns he purchased, and people are up in arms about their *constitutional rights*, and yet there is such major concern over a parenting decision, to the point where people are saying things like "My kids are all grown now, some have children of their own, but my kids would NEVER have been at a midnight movie premiere of a violent film. It only stands to reason that an event of that nature would attract what we refer to as nut cases. Not that my heart doesn't go out to his mother but come on people. A movie is so important that you let your kid stay out until 4am."

I think this statement hit me the most:
"why do they feel so strongly that they actually suggest those who died might have brought this on themselves for giving in to a lax society that allows things like children in a PG-13 movie in the first place?"

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-belki...

Judgemental, much? People have their various reasons. People are culturally different. We all have our own standards in relation to things like this. Personally, I might take my newborn to the cinema. I also might take my 9 year old to this movie (it depends on the child). My 7 year old has seen plenty of movies that you guys in the US would rate PG13. If she was on summer holidays, I *might* take her to a midnight screening, because our schedule and routine is often very different. I am pretty sure she won't turn into a pumpkin, and I am pretty sure she will still get her sleep. Would I let her see *this* particular movie? probably not. But there have been midnight screenings of movies I would let her see.

I think it is disgraceful that it is the age of the children (including one who died) that people are focusing on, and not the deeper problem.

Johnny - posted on 07/30/2012

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"You are totally missing the point.



This was an adult movie that a child should not have been at. If it had been a children's movie I would have had a totally different point of view. "




No Shyla, YOU are missing the point. There is no reason to expect a mad gunmen to open fire ANYWHERE EVER.



It is never something we should expect and if we are going around expecting mad gunmen to open fire in public places then either the world has become a thousand different kinds of fucked up (see Syria and Somalia) or we are so paranoid that we should be in treatment with a psychiatrist.



Whether the movie was Batman, Debbie Does Dallas, or Ice Age, no one sitting in a movie theater should ever be expecting to be shot. By that logic kids should stop going to high school because of the shooting at Columbine. People shouldn't go to to college because there have been several incidents of deranged gunmen commiting massacres on college campuses. You DEFINITELY should NOT go to church because there have been countless church shootings in the past 10 years.



Like others have said, the parents could reasonably have expected their child to potentially be cranky, over-tired, scared shitless, confused or otherwise troubled by the side effects of what could happen when taking a 6 year old to a violent movie at midnight. I would have had pretty much zero sympathy for them in that case. Sort of like my dad's reaction to when his buddy got upset that his kids started swearing up a storm after seeing Bull Durham. If you take a kid to see a movie that isn't age appropriate, you need to live with any of the reasonably expected consequences. But you are not EVER responsible nor can you be blamed for the unexpected results of having your kid be the victim of one of the worst mass shootings in America.



Honestly, it frightens, deeply saddens, and disgusts me that people are so lacking in compassion nowadays. We reap what we sow, and I struggle to understand why people would wish to help create a society so devoid of mutual compassion. Because one day, it will come back and bite you in the ass. Responsibility is for things we can control, but we can't control everything and it would be nice to think that we could all show each other a little care and support when horrible things happen beyond our control.

Karla - posted on 08/02/2012

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I have a sour taste in my mouth.



I don't want to stop myself from judging anyone who would judge Ashley Moser, and I usually try to give a benefit of doubt. I probably will eventually forgive you Shyla, but not yet.



My heart goes out to the mother, Ashley Moser, of the 6 y.o. Veronica Moser and fetus who's lives were extinguished by a mad man.



Ashley was just accepted into medical school. Her grandfather passed away 2 months ago after suffering from a terminal illness. They were still adjusting to that loss, and now this.



This debate means nothing... nothing, compared to the lives that were taken and injured that night. There is no "right" answer to the OP question; but "we" can damn well avoid judging a grieving mother. No one won here or there.



ETA: Just a quick FYI, Shyla is now "Proud Mommy"

Mary - posted on 07/30/2012

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Shyla, your logic would only make sense if being gunned down at a MN showing of a movie was a reasonable, expected consequence of that choice. If a parent was upset that their child had nightmares after seeing the movie, or was cranky and out of sorts the next day - hell, yeah, blame away. However, being shot and killed is not something anyone could have predicted as an outcome of this choice.

This is as asinine as saying that the parent who took their kid to fast food restaurant for a meal should be held accountable when some lunatic opens fire there. Hey - we all know McDonalds is crap food that contributes to the obesity epidemic, so for being such a crappy, nutritionally-delinquent parent, it's your fault that your kid is dead.

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Jenny - posted on 08/27/2012

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I would love to know which responses these people wrote to other topics that made you assume they weren't Christian....some of these Christians are pretty straight, i.e Dove, can't think of anything she would have wrote to make you think she weren't. Maybe she replied to the Twilight/Transformers post. OMG! Maybe she watches Transformers, must mean she's not a REAL christian!



So frustrating coming across people that are so judgmental, like you've got it all worked out, you must have all the answers, which is hard to believe because I have never met a christian who a) had all the answers or b) who's answers didn't contradict each other :/



I don't know what gives you (or anybody as "strict" as you) such assurance that you are so right, especially when the bible is left up to interpretation, hence the wide variety of "Christians" from the Amish all the way through to the "all you need is love" type of Christians, all of whom are following the bible as best they know.....Who is right, I wonder?

Jodi - posted on 08/26/2012

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Ah, OK, I do recall that now. It has just been going on so long I'd forgotten, and couldn't be bothered reading back to figure it out, because it really is quite irrelevant.

Jodi - posted on 08/26/2012

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I'm confused as to what Christianity even has to do with this anyway.

Kristi - posted on 08/26/2012

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He also tells us to love one another and not to judge one another, and judging is excatly what you are doing by assuming to know what kind of relationship anyone else has with God.

Proud - posted on 08/26/2012

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After reading responses that people have wrote on other topics I assumed they weren't Christian because their answers sounded like mainstream worldly beliefs and God tells us to not be like the world.

Jenny - posted on 08/21/2012

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Shyla: "I havent seen a another Christian in this thread".
What were you saying by that? Were you just assuming, or passing judgement?

Johnny - posted on 08/21/2012

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And since you seem so convinced that you are actually following the bible, I will stick within its narrow confines.

Romans 14:1-13 ESV

As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions. One person believes he may eat anything, while the weak person eats only vegetables. Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him. Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand. One person esteems one day as better than another, while another esteems all days alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind.

Johnny - posted on 08/21/2012

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Dove, Sherri, Kristi, just to name the ones from this page. I am not a Christian, but I have read the bible and spent quite some time in various churches. I am fairly certain that you do not have the authority to decide who is and is not a Christian. If you choose to judge whether or not they are "good" Christians, that is your folly to make.

Johnny - posted on 08/21/2012

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From what I can gather from all the good Christians on this thread, neither do you.

Proud - posted on 08/21/2012

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I am definitely not a Jehovah Witness those people wouldn't know the word of God if it slapped them in the face.

Jenny - posted on 08/07/2012

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Well, Shyla is not answering. Of course you're not going to find that in the bible! She's not going to respond to this.

It's not that specific thing, it's the rationale behind the statement she's making, that the mother is equally responsible for her child's death because she took her to an "inappropriate" movie. That's where she's coming from. That if you do the right thing, "not take your kid (or yourself) to inappropriate movies" you will not bring unnecessary harm to yourself.

But I dunno Shyla. Do you really really really think that if you don't take your kid to a "inappropriate" movie, and only to appropriate ones, that you will prevent a phsyco from shooting your child? Do you really think that if you live your life perfectly according to The Word, that bad things won't happen?

Think about the story in the bible of the blind man who was blind from birth and the disciples were wondering who was to blame for his disability? Was it the parents that sinned? Or was it the child? What did Jesus say? It was NEITHER. He was blind so that one day he could be healed and show gods glory.

Another thing, it rains on the good and the bad.

But, I get where you are coming from Shyla, my parents are exactly this mentality, I totally understand this fundamental type of thinking. But just challenge yourself of what Jesus' message was, and how it was about grace and not about works. Reflect upon the parable of the prodigal son (and the son who was obedient and never left home and could not be happy for the return of his brother). God's judgement is not like it was in the OT, he now reserves judgement for the judgement day, until then we have grace. He would NOT punish that mother for taking herself and her kid out to a Batman movie by killing both her children! If you believe he did that to teach her a lesson....all I can say is that I am so so sorry for you, because it says in the bible, you will be judged by the measure you judge others. Please reflect on all this. Not to prove me right, but just for your own sake, for the unnecessarily heavy burden you place on yourself and the expectation of being punished for making a mistake, and for judging to harshly and possibly brining harsh judgement upon yourself.

Peace to you, and I hope that the Jesus of the bible can sweeten your heart.

Karla - posted on 08/07/2012

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Just to clarify the opinion and follow up question:

Proud Mommy (Shyla) "I just follow the Bible as closely as possible."

Dove, "PLEASE show me WHERE in the Bible Jesus did that to a woman who's child was murdered. Please. Because if that is in there then I've been following the wrong Bible for 35 years....."

Kristi - posted on 08/07/2012

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I love this always and never routine. It never gets old, well, yes it does, I was being sarcastic.



I, too, am interested in the scripture reading that Dove is asking about. I readily admit that I can't quote scripture or tell you where most things are, but I find it hard to believe that each pastor I've ever had has been lying to me all these years. Even so, I absolutely do know we have NO right judging or condemning ANY of the VICTIMS of this atrocity! God will do the judging.



So I would suggest that some of you "put it back in your pants," and quit being sadistic jerks.

Alisha - posted on 08/06/2012

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I completely agree I would never take young children to a movie theater at midnight, much less Batman. I think the point of it is that they are the parents and we are not, if that's what they want to do as parents, then they have that right and should be able to make those decisions for their own children regardless of if others agree or not.

AMY - posted on 08/03/2012

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OMG! We went to the midnight showing in our city and there was a toddler there with their parents. I couldn't believe it when I saw it, that poor child should have been at home in bed. I totally agree!!

Kathy - posted on 08/03/2012

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There are two issues here:
- is the movie age appropriate for the child
-is midnight a good time to see it.

I do not think I would let kids under 11 go to Dark Knight - it seems too dark. Parents get to decide this, though.

I have 3 kids. Of the 3, I could have brought one to a midnight screening (If I could stay up that late!) He is a real night owl, and would not have disturbed anyone. The other two I would not bring to any movie at midnight - they are unhappy campers at that time of night. It really comes down to knowing your child - it is not Ok to disturb other movie goers and many kids are grouchy at midnight.

If you decide to bring a child to a midnight screening, you need to be prepared to leave at the first sign of whining. crying, etc.

Proud - posted on 08/03/2012

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I read the KJV bible.

Think what you like. You are more than welcome to voice your opinions. I know how I raise my child and where I do or don't take her.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/03/2012

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******MoD Warning*******

Everyone needs to take this down a notch. We are not here to stomp on someone elses beliefs. We can do that with our awesome debating skills without attacking someone. This is my only warning. Even though someone has an opinion that NO ONE ELSE agrees with or can even fathom, we still abide by the NO THUMPS policy!

~DM MoD Little Miss~

MeMe - posted on 08/03/2012

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I am sorry but I seriously think this thread is becoming fucked up. Shyla ruined it! She has some extremly disturbing views and I would like to say, that charma is a bitch and it likes to bite people in the ass, that are ungrateful and irrationally ignorant toward other peoples loses.



I cannot believe someone out there would actually say these things about any one of the people that were in that theater that night, let alone for this mother that lost her entire life! I honestly do not know how I would be able to move on. Truthfully, I don't think I could. If I had lost both my children (born and unborn) as she has, I think I would seriously go back to being a junky! The shit she has lived through in such a short period of time is unconscionable and was so, not her fault. How could anyone in their right mind even say or think such a thing. She was innocently trying to have fun with her daughter. No one has the right to ridicule her for how she did it. It was her choice and she is NOT in the wrong for making it!



I also do not believe one word you say, in regards to never taking your kid outside off your property. I think your full of shit, how about that. That is on you, since you make some truly unbelievable comments. WHOA!!



I too am interested in what bible you follow. It sounds more like an evil bible....

Kristi - posted on 08/03/2012

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Jodi--"I think it is disgraceful that it is the age of the children (including one who died) that people are focusing on, and not the deeper problem."

Rebecca Three--"IMO, any assertion people might have that it never would have happened to them because they would have escaped due to their superior movie viewing parenting views, is delusional. Whatever your ideas might be on movie viewing and kids...it is pretty tactless to bring it up in the wake of a tragedy like this.

Me--"These families, including the pyscho's, deserve our prayers and support, not our speculations and judgements."

These are just 3 posts from the day after the OP. Here we are, 6 pages later, and there continues to be more people still judging and condemning. It's sad, pathetic, and pretty much fucked up. To those "perfect" parents who claim they are some how better than those who were victimized because you would never do such a thing, I say to you, God forbid, anything tragic happens to your kid, (he falls out of a tree you let him climb and breaks his arm or you get into a car accicent and your child was with you and gets seriously hurt, well if you didn't take him to the grocery store...) because if it does, you better be ready to accept full responsibility for being so stupid as to let your kid climb a tree so high because then you will be judged by those who would never even think of letting their 6 year old climb so high. Who does that? Don't fall too hard from your high horse, it might hurt when you land.

Jodi - posted on 08/02/2012

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I'd actually like the scripture reference where it says thou shalt not take children to movies rated PG. It is truly sickening that the mother could possibly be blamed for this, and that people are quite happily openly doing so. I really hope she is not in any way reading the things being said by various stark raving mad people voicing their misguided and shameful opinion on that.

**Jackie** - posted on 08/02/2012

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Thanks for explaining, Shyla, I know you didn't have to. I hope that you do change your mind when she gets older. She will have lots of fun on little weekend getaways and (depending on where you live) beach/lake days. We all parent differently. I respect your parenting even though I don't agree with it.

Also, sorry to everyone for getting off topic. Good night love bugs!!! :)

Proud - posted on 08/02/2012

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I live in the United States.

We don't celebrate birthdays, my child is 21 months so no school yet, we have playground type equipment in our backyard for her, the Dr does house calls..

I may change my mind as she gets older....

**Jackie** - posted on 08/02/2012

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I'm about to do the "bullsh*t sneeze" NO way she doesn't take her kid ANYWHERE. So no friend's birthday parties, schooling of any sort, playgrounds, zoo, going out to eat, shopping. Kind of sad. My daughter does all of the above, except for the schooling because she is only 20 months and I am a SAHM so I teach her. (She can count to 5!!! lol)

Karla - posted on 08/02/2012

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Shyla,

What type a church do you attend?
What country do you live in?

Just wondering because where I live in the US, If I didn't take my kids in the car we wouldn't go anywhere, not even the doctor. (kind of hard to leave the child home with daddy and take her to the doctor, right?)

I suspect, like my other questions, I may never see the answer.

**Jackie** - posted on 08/02/2012

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Don't you think this mother is blaming herself? I assure you she will be reliving that night and the events that occurred for the rest of her life. I'm sure she will need extensive counseling and maybe even some medication (I know I would).

I wonder what you would say to her if you saw her face to face, tell her "I told you so"?

I know if I saw her I wouldn't say anything to her, I'd hug the crap outta her.

Proud - posted on 08/02/2012

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I just follow the Bible as closely as possible. If that makes me brainwashed then praise God :)

Proud - posted on 08/02/2012

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You're correct women in our church do not pray if a man is present. And women shouldn't speak in church

Westboro is the farthest things from Christians..

Rosie - posted on 08/02/2012

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i'm sure he wouldn't agree with you speaking in church either, or not wearing a head cover while praying. but why bother with pesky details of the bible, when you can condemn someone who just lost a child, an unborn child and the use of her legs. you sound like a member of the westboro baptist church. your words sadden me.

Proud - posted on 08/02/2012

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I don't think Jesus would agree with a child or adult either one being at this movie.

**Jackie** - posted on 08/02/2012

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That just gave me chills, Dove. Good chills...not like creepy chills. :)

Karla - posted on 08/02/2012

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Shyla, Karla, it's probably good that I don't drive with my child in the car then:)



How long do you intend to live like this?

If you live like this until your child reaches adulthood, how does that prepare your child to handle life?

How do you define living in fear?



I know I said I'm done, I just have no self control.



I'm gonna give you one thing. If I were the mother of the child that was shot by Holmes, I would also blame myself to some extent. Just as I would blame myself in a fatal car accident, or if my child -- well -- if my child died in any accident or mishap. I would say to myself, "Why did I decide to go out at that time?"



I do not agree that the parent should blame themselves, or that we should blame the parent.



When a child dies, most parents do blame themselves, but that does not mean they are guilty of causing the death of their child. Again, this mother did not CAUSE the death of her child, she is blameless and the shooter is the sole guilty party. Do you understand my logic?

MeMe - posted on 08/02/2012

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Jackie is funny BUT she is also very correct! It is nice when those two things, go so nicely together. ;)

**Jackie** - posted on 08/02/2012

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So....do you light candles? OMG what if a gas line broke and your house filled with gas and blew up!!!! DON'T cook anymore! Oh and don't bathe, someone could drown or hit their head on the tub! OH and don't use sharp utensils! COME ON

Krista - posted on 08/02/2012

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Shyla, your logic is ridiculous. So had the shooter walked through the wrong door of the multiplex and shot up the theatre with a midnight showing of a G-rated movie, you'd place the blame squarely and solely on the shooter? But because the movie was NOT G-rated, it's the parents' fault?

It's not like the parents were dragging their kid to a bar in a seedy part of town at midnight. At that point, it IS a reasonable expectation that someone could get hurt. And if the kid got hurt, then yes, the parents would bear some responsibility for that.

It was a flipping MOVIE THEATRE. What movie was showing is completely irrelevant.

And I agree with the others -- you are being shockingly heartless, for someone who claims to have found Jesus.

Proud - posted on 08/02/2012

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Why would I need to travel with her in the car?

When we need groceries me or my husband stay home with her and the other does the shopping.

We still have Dr's who do house calls

We live close to church so we can walk..etc

Proud - posted on 08/02/2012

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**Jackie**


I've got Jesus :)



It is not the child being up at midnight that I have a problem with. So if you want to build little forts with your kid at midnight that is fine.

**Jackie** - posted on 08/02/2012

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Shyla, ever? I'm not mocking you on this one I promise. I'm curious, how do you travel with your child?

Proud - posted on 08/02/2012

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Karla, it's probably good that I don't drive with my child in the car then:)

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