BULLYING MY SON

Sarah - posted on 02/04/2013 ( 15 moms have responded )

5

0

0

my neighbours 8 year old twin boys keep beating up my 9 year old son. Its happened on a couple of occasions now. The mother is a single parent and does not seem to want to take responsibility for her sons actions. I am worried something really bad will happen to my son...i am starting to think i should take urgent action....any ideas

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Cecilia - posted on 02/06/2013

1,380

16

425

isn't keeping them inside to avoid these bullies what someone would call "putting them in a bubble"?

It is not just an 8 year old hitting a 9 year old. It is two brothers terrorizing another child because they can. Someone, such as a cop, can tell they can't.

Let's say her son just goes off one day and does hit them back. The one with a heart condition has something happen. At least then Sarah has on record that she has tried to deal with the issue through the cops and it was an ongoing issue.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/05/2013

13,264

21

2015

Ariana, When my kids were that age, I raised them correctly. I taught them appropriate behaviour, and inappropriate behaviour, and told them that, if they were a victim of assault, to by all means, handle it in any way they saw fit, but that I would ALWAYS back them up.

This woman has discussed this issue with the parent of the offenders, who seems to think that her children are above the law, or any rules regarding proper behaviour. Thus the necessity of calling law enforcement.

Had the woman been willing to punish her children, and demand retribution to the other family for their behaviour, my answer would have been different. And, may I point out, we may be talking about 8 year olds TODAY, but today's 8 year old bully is tomorrow's 15 year old bully, and next year's 20 year old bully. Where do you want to put a stop to it? When do you finally say "enough"?

For me, it was when my son was physically assaulted multiple times at his school without the administration doing anything. They called me, and I told them "either YOU take care of it, or I will press charges!" Gee, guess what. I threatened to press charges on the kid, and all of a sudden, he's not bullying any more.

ETA: And, from that point, I gave my son permission to kick ass on anyone who physically assaulted him. I will NOT tolerate assault.

Cecilia - posted on 02/04/2013

1,380

16

425

Personally, I would call the police. If they hit him, guess what that is assault! Plain and simple. No the child won't go to jail for it but if it keeps happening the parents will have fines and that will get their attention. Everyone is telling you to teach your son to fight back but as adults we all know it doesn't work that way. Plus as you said this might cause her to call the police on you since her son is just oh so sick...

15 Comments

View replies by

Kelly - posted on 12/17/2014

2

0

0

tell your kid to fight back i mean if they hit him first he should youse self defense

Nancy - posted on 02/23/2013

99

0

22

I'd be calling the cops and pressing charges against these two.Obviously she doesn't want to do anything about it and will continue to let these two run wild.If it keeps up and they wind up in court because of it, the judge will hopefully help to put a stop to it.I wouldn't stand for it and neither should you.

Sarah - posted on 02/06/2013

5

0

0

Thats a good point Cecillia about having it on record. I think i will contact our social services and find out who i can record this details with. Cant hurt!

Sarah - posted on 02/06/2013

5

0

0

Its a tough one isn't it. The boys are talking again now.....but I do feel I need to speak with the mother and suggest that we get the boys together and talk. I will see how it goes, its the second time its happened. If it happens a third time I will definitely be taking more action.
Thanks again for all your comments.

Jennifer - posted on 02/05/2013

3

0

0

really? call the police? assault? Have you never heard of a couple of boys "getting into it"? We can't put them in a bubble. We can protect them and have them not play with those boys anymore if they are a bad influence, but calling the police on an 8 year old for hitting a 9 yr old? It seems a little extreme.

Cecilia - posted on 02/05/2013

1,380

16

425

I do not think calling the cops is going to far by any means. I am not only calling the cops on the kids, i'm calling it on a mother who refuses to control her children. No one is going to run off with these kids and put them into prison over the call.

I personally have called the cops on the school before. Yep i did! They refused to give me the full name of the child who hit my child. Since they refused i called the cops and told them something needs to be done. All i was planning on doing was talking with the mother originally to see what can be done. The school was forced to give me all the information i requested including names, and phone numbers for said child. I called and spoke to his mother. The school hadn't informed her of what had happened. She got on his case and it never happened again.

I know more can happen than fines to the parents. That is one of many steps that will happen. When the parents get the fine then maybe they will understand it is serious and they need to do something about the actions of their children. Mediation is always the best option.

Like Shawnn said, when do we call the cops? When they have gone way too far? when is it too far? When they hurt someone is the answer... Which they have.

Lakota - posted on 02/05/2013

710

0

192

Where is your son and the twins at when they are beating him up? Is your son on their property or are they on your property? At school? Some of what you should do depends on where this is happening.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/05/2013

13,264

21

2015

If there are witnesses, press assault charges. No need to do anything else. The law WILL assign age appropriate punishment to juveniles, they will not just "fine the parents", and if there is an ongoing pattern of assault, they will be better geared to assist this family.

Document each and every contact between these people and your child. Take pictures of any injuries, bruises, broken items such as glasses, destroyed items, etc. File a separate report for each incident.

The only thing that I would do prior to that is politely inform the other party that you will be documenting all contact, and filing the appropriate charges with law enforcement. That way, you've covered your butt. And, you need to contact the school system to find out what kind of contact is happening at school. I guarantee that the behaviour is not just happening on your block.

Sarah - posted on 02/04/2013

5

0

0

Thanks Dee Dee, i have spoken with my Son about this, i dont think he is as affected as i am with all of this. I have seen the viciousness on the twins faces, they swear and are disrespectful to both my and my partner, their mother lets them swear which I find totally unacceptable.

One of the twins has a heart problem (apparently) yet this does not stop him going around like a bully and picking on people. There was a previous moment when my son gave as good as he got. I in return received a mouthful of abuse from the mother telling me that my son could have killed her son because of his heart condition.

Its a no win situation, if my son sticks up for himself he is still in the wrong but yet her twins can do as they please.

Dee Dee - posted on 02/04/2013

71

0

17

Hi Sara
I definitly will do something about it. 1st, I would talk the 9 year old son to see if he is bothered by the twins. if he is, you can show him how to stay away from them, self defense class, assertive class.... keep watch him until he can handle it. if he said no. then drop it and move on. if you can't move on, I would watch him and ask him again a few days later. lol, as time go by. it is more for ur anxiety than his safty, you know?!

Dee

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms