By the book or what comes natural..

Jessica - posted on 10/01/2010 ( 16 moms have responded )

626

26

29

Ive been noticeing more and more on this site in the different groups that many moms answer to every topic is "well I read this book or that book and it said this so thats what we do."

Now I have read many different parenting books out of interest but I find most of my parenting I try to do with what feels right and what comes naturally. So my question is...do you do whatever the latest addition of a baby book tells you to do or do you get to know your child for who he/she is and do what works for them?

This conversation has been closed to further comments

16 Comments

View replies by

Jessica - posted on 10/02/2010

626

26

29

I'm pretty much the same as Erin and Loureen, I would be considered an AP parent as well, but not from the books, just from going with the flow with my little one. :) Thanks for the replies ladies :) Ive met so many women who do exactly as a book tells them, regardless of whether it works for there little ones and it bothers me, glad to know you ladies are out there :)

Ez - posted on 10/02/2010

6,569

25

237

I like to go by my instincts and what feels natural , i later found out pretty much everything i do was called Attachment parenting so from there i went on to research more about this method because it felt right to me

Ditto Loureen. This is exactly my experience. I followed my instinct and that led me to realise I fall into the AP category. It was not a conscious decision. It was completely natural. Since then I read a lot of articles on parenting methods and strategies that suit me, but I certainly don't follow them to the letter. It's more about awareness for me, especially since my parenting style falls outside of the mainstream so much of the time.

[deleted account]

I went on instinct mostly but now I'm starting to read books about discipline. This is mostly because I was raised in an abusive household so my instincts are a little off on that count.

Kate CP - posted on 10/01/2010

8,942

36

758

Eh, I don't really read books on raising children except for things like emergency care and how to tell if they have an ear infection or what have you. But if I have a question about a child rearing technique or an issue I'm having with my daughter I ask my mom.

[deleted account]

I've read a lot of books but I usually go by instinct. I have found different things that have helped from books, I'm not against taking advice when I need it.

Charlie - posted on 10/01/2010

11,203

111

409

I liked Raisng boys and Jamie liked it too , so easy to read and interesting from a guys perspective .

[deleted account]

A combination of both. Obviously I can't solely trust my gut or instinct because when it comes to certain things, I don't have an instinct....some things don't come as naturally as others. When it comes to reading a book or processing some information given to me, THAT is where I would trust my instincts.....just because something says so in a book doesn't make it so. It's a combination.

Jodi - posted on 10/01/2010

3,562

36

3907

I go with what comes naturally. The parenting books I have read don't tend to be the traditional ones. I read things like "Raising Boys" simply because I want to understand better about how a boy thinks so I can consider how I parent him as opposed to my daughter, who is very different. Or a book like "Too Safe for Their Own Good" to get some confidence in letting my kids develop a healthy and confident independence. But traditional parenting books are not something I really have ever used. So far that approach has worked ok for me :) I don't think I've fucked my kids up yet!!

Krista - posted on 10/01/2010

12,562

16

847

I go mostly with my own instincts, but it's nice to have a book around for when you're stumped, or for when you want to consider a new approach to something. I'm currently considering getting "The Happiest Toddler on the Block". When Sam was first born, I totally dog-eared the Canadian Pediatrician's Parenting Book (prob. not the exact title, but that was the general gist). It wasn't about parenting approaches so much as it was about basic development.

[deleted account]

I do what works (or try to... I'm far from perfect). From the age of 18 up until a bit after the girls were born... books on parenting and childcare were some of my favorites, so I had a LOT of information and knowledge to choose from. I think it is good to get a variety of ideas and opinions to work w/ cuz if what you are doing isn't working... it's good to have the information of another idea to try that you may not think up on your own, but might work perfectly. :)

[deleted account]

I have to say that in those early infant months, those breastfeeding books caused more damage than good. So I stopped reading parenting books. I did by a toddler book, and it had some good information in it. I had books given to me, but I later learned that they pretty much all suck! The various discipline books also struck a nerve with me, but I jsut had to figure out what worked best for my son for various situations.

Becky - posted on 10/01/2010

2,892

44

93

For the most part, I'd say I go with my gut, although a lot of what I do as a parent is based on things I've learned from others, from work experience as a social worker, from training I've taken for work, and from reading. But I take what I've learned and use what works for us. I don't follow any one book or "style" really, just take bits and pieces. I enjoy reading and learning and certainly will find a book or 2 when I'm having an issue in parenting - for instance, right now, I'm reading books on discipline because my son is 2 1/2 and at that age where it's becomming very necessary!

Charlie - posted on 10/01/2010

11,203

111

409

I like to go by my instincts and what feels natural , i later found out pretty much everything i do was called Attachment parenting so from there i went on to research more about this method because it felt right to me .
I dont follow what i was brought up in because i have my own mind and own style of parenting and times have changed and evolved from when my mother and father were parents having said that i do read a lot about parenting , i do like to back up my methods with sound research , i am constantly learning about positive ways of parenting , i am very passionate about child development and how environment and nuturing affect their outcome .

All in all i feel the closer i parent towards my instincts and what feels natural the better IMO .

Rebecca - posted on 10/01/2010

232

41

11

I kind of look at parenting books as a "point in the right direction." I mostly go by my gut feeling.

Sarah - posted on 10/01/2010

5,465

31

344

Bit of both I guess. With my eldest I read a few parenting books, and found some of it useful....like swaddling! What a godsend that was!!
Mostly though I've either just gone with my gut instinct, or adapted what I've read to suit my own kids.
I don't think that any one parenting style or theory will fit a child, I think you have to to use a bit of trial and error and common sense.
I wouldn't follow a book religiously, but I think they can be useful.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms