can your female friends live with you and your hubby...

Tah - posted on 08/19/2010 ( 25 moms have responded )

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Now...i was thinking about my husband before we met when his ex's friend stayed with them for awhile..he said while his girfriend would be sleep he would wake up early around 6am and go out and watch tv..i can attest..being in the military he is accustomed to getting up early so even on days off he won't sleep past 730 0r 8 unless we had a really really late night...lol...so the friend would come out and talk to him and joke with him and it seemed a little strange to him..she then stopped by one night in the pouring rain when she knew the girlfriend was in SC visiting her family, he immediately called his girlfriend and said hey she is here how far away are you..then when they broke up..the friend became his personal informant telling things that the gf did that were even worse then what he left her for..of course the friends marriage was crap..her husband was crap and she was watching my husband treat her crap friend like a queen so she im sure she had a motive..next...



Im listening to the radio and one lady calls and says that she has just caught her husband and her best friend on the floor in the living room someone was on their knees but they weren't calling on Jesus...well...not praying to him anyway...while she's sick with cancer and giving the friend a place to stay.because she was going through a divorce..again...then another chick i know that has been staying with her friend is sleeping with the friends boyfriend...my flippin cousin came stayed a week this summer for a family get together, told me how lucky i was...asked way to many questions about my lifestyle..."o he pays for your truck..insurance, he bought that"..etc..my husband is quiet and worked alot while they were here so she gave us a card thanking us and a little note in it for him saying he should spend more time and talk more when they come back and then sends him a friend request on fb when she hasnt even sent me one...needless to say she isn't coming back here..hampton inn is right down the street....you get the point...



So..would you ladies alow a friend that is down and out to come stay with you and the other/husband or is it i feel for you honey so let me take you to your moms or the nearest shelter?.....

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LaCi - posted on 08/24/2010

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Most of my female friends are lesbians, so it's not really an issue as far as them sleeping with my boyfriend. And if they were to sleep with me, I really don't see the boyfriend being upset about that.

I don't really have room for anyone here. If they want to crash on the couch, no big deal. I trust my boyfriend, and if something did happen, so be it. At least I'd know now that I shouldn't have trusted them rather than after 40 years of family life.

Tah - posted on 08/24/2010

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dont be so sure it would have already happened Erin..my best friend caught her partner of 14 years and her pseudobestie chatting on fb about how they have been attracted to each other for years..is he a bum..sure....but she never saw that coming from a friend since 2nd grade..again..its not about trusting a partner as uch as not putting them in any situations like that..but i admire the trust everyone has in their friends..my list is short..not even sure it could be called a list...

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I'm with Abby, staying at my house is a last choice option as well. We just have a small 2 bdrm duplex and there are 4 of us. It is crowded and horribly cluttered, both my husband and my oldest are pack rats!!! I trust my husband. He apparently trusts me as well because we had his male friend stay with us for what was supposed to be a couple of weeks that turned into nearly a year! My sister also lived with us for 6+ mos. but both of those were when we were a family of 3. I ♥ my friends, we've known most of them since we were in H.S. I'm sure if it were gonna happen it already would have! Anyone that has tried is no longer in our lives, and living with us then would NEVER have happened! You go to family and such before you start imposing on friends IMO. I have no problem helping ppl but I am not a 1st choice!!! My family doesn't even use me as 1st choice, unless it is for helping clean, move, watch kids or something that is not horribly unreasonable to ask of someone.

Becky - posted on 08/21/2010

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I would have no problem with it. I completely trust my husband and I trust all my friends. But, I have had a couple of friends take advantage of my generosity and kind heart in the past and overstay their welcome by quite a bit. So that would be more of my concern than anything happening with my husband. I don't think he'd let that happen either though.

Abby - posted on 08/20/2010

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I would have no problem letting a friend stay on my couch. I trust my partner with my life. If I didn't, I wouldn't be in our relationship.

That being said, we also have a mutual agreement that we don't allow just anyone into our lives, including our home. We have a close circle of friends, we are friendly and gracious when we are in public but our home is our sanctuary. The person would have to be a very close friend and it would be a last choice option. We would be more willing to put our friend up in a hotel than invite them into our sanctuary.

Loreana - posted on 08/20/2010

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i would love to be able to allow a good friend to come and stay with me and have a good visit with them but the truth is i dont trust my man as far as i can throw him, he cheated on me early in our relationship and feels the need to lie about the most silly things, sometimes I regret staying because of all the trust issues i have with him because of how his cheating changed everything i thought i knew about him and feel like sometimes its not worth the thoughts that go around my head, one of which is that he will cheat on me the first chance he gets therefore i dont have girlfriends come over for a brief visit let alone a stayover. But i do have one friend that i know beyond a doubt would never, ever no matter how great the guy do something like the chicks in your post did, but i can't invite her over cause im scared of what my boyfriend would do, but there are women out there who have boyfriends and friends and family and nothing bad ever happens, but as for myself no way no how is any girl poaching on my couch let alone my boyfriend.

Jessica - posted on 08/20/2010

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Well, all my friends are guys, so no they wouldn't be making passes at my husband lol. Nor would they at me. They all have girlfriends/fiancees/wives anyhow. However when I got my first apartment my room mate was a good friend of both of ours from college, who yes happens to be a guy. I was dating DH at the time. None of us ever saw anything wierd about it, nor was there ever any chance of us making passes at each other lol! Sometimes I stepped back and looked at it the way it might have appeared to someone who didn't know anybetter and realized how strange it might have seemed. For me to be living with my boyfriend's best friend. But we never thought of it like that, its just not that way with us.

Rosie - posted on 08/20/2010

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but there wouldn't be any invitation for drama with the friends i'm thinking of. there's no way in hell they would throw themselves at my husband. i can tell a difference. there was a girl my husband worked with and we ran into her at walmart once. i could just tell instantly that she wanted him. he swears up and down that they are just cool friends who talk at work but i could just tell...now he has 2 other girl friends (he gets along really great with girls always has, i knew it before we started dating) and he can go out to eat alone with them and i don't give it a moments thought. i trust them around my husband, no drama involved. this other girl that he works with no way in hell. i told him as much which he respected, and then i told her as much. she quit a little while after...

Stifler's - posted on 08/19/2010

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I would let her stay. Just because that chicks husband is a dog doesn't mean mine is.

Tara - posted on 08/19/2010

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I wouldn't have a problem with allowing a friend to stay here, be it mine or his. We have a HUGE house and even with 2 adults, 5 kids 3 dogs and 2 cats, we still have an extra bedroom/bathroom for company.
I only have a handful of friends and all of them are close friends (no time for anything but!) and I trust them all with my life, my kids etc.
And I trust my hubby. He would be the first to tell me if any of my friends were hitting on him. Same with me.

Charlie - posted on 08/19/2010

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Absolutely i trust my friends otherwise they wouldnt be friends and i trust my fiance without a doubt .

We have actually lived with two of my GF's before so its not an issue .

Tah - posted on 08/19/2010

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@ Krista, Aura and Sharon...exactly..i dont want to have to go to jail because she tried...it's not about trusting my husband...he goes away for the military for days - months and i trust him 100 %....hasnt given me a reason not to..it's about not wanting to put him in any situations like that...im sure that alot of women that this has happened to..and men...have trusted that friend...why else would they say yes...and i dont want her to always have to watch her back for even trying it even though i know that he would handle it accordingly....i mean thats no way to live right?...when is Tah gonna jump out the bushes and beat the tar outta me for making a pass at her husband when she was just helping me out?...and will that be enough..will she do it old school and jump on me everytime she sees me?....i dont want that for her...cause we're friends..

Sharon - posted on 08/19/2010

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I understands Tahs' point too. Why invite drama into your life? I'm a HUGE fan of avoiding drama. So for me to let one of my friends live in my home - it needs to be important.

Rosie - posted on 08/19/2010

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i don't hang around people that would go after a married man, let alone their friends husband, so it wouldn't be an issue. i trust my husband with our friends-now if it was someone newer that i had just met i don't think so. i have to know somone inside and out first.

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I trust my husband implicitly. I am also a very caring and giving person and it would break my heart to turn anyone away who needed my help. Even so, I completely understand not wanting to put one's husband in that position. My mother used to tell me that you or your husband should not be allowed to be alone in a car with someone of the opposite sex. It was "improper", but I see it more as protection. If the other person were to say that something happened, what would prevent the seed of doubt from being planted? Same concept.

Sara - posted on 08/19/2010

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I would absolutely trust any of my girlfriends to come and stay with us. I'm not friends with anyone who would do something like cheat with my husband while staying in my house and my husband would never cheat on me, of that I am positive.

Krista - posted on 08/19/2010

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It depends on the friend. A REAL friend? Yes, absolutely. I've often joked to my best friend that I would love to have her for a wife and she could come live with us.

But unless it was someone with whom I was super-compatible, then no. Trust wouldn't be an issue, as I trust my husband. It would be an issue of making sure that I wouldn't want to murder that person by the third day.

Hannah - posted on 08/19/2010

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I wouldn't mind at all. In fact, a couple of years back, one of my friends did stay with me for a couple of weeks while her and her boyfriend were going through some stuff. That wasn't a big deal at all. I do trust my friends and my husband. If you can't trust your friends to be around your husband, I wouldn't consider them friends at all.

Barbara - posted on 08/19/2010

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I would say you have to trust your husband. My friends are one thing, but my husband has lots of pretty and interesting friends himself who are girls, but I figure if he was going to sleep with any of them he would've done so by now. I also feel like he'd tell me before he did it if he were going to. He's just that kind of guy. I've never known him to do anything behind anyone else's back. He would do it right in front of their faces if he did it at all.;)
My best friend's father left her mother for one of her mother's closest friends, but her dad's kind of a douche in general. If your husband is a good man and you love him and have faith in him, then I feel like you have an obligation to not worry about that stuff. Just let him be, and hopefully he'll be faithful. If you treat him like a cheater, he might just go ahead and become one to prove you right, you know?

Tah - posted on 08/19/2010

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i trust my husband...and i know my friends...trust me...so the only one that can stay has stayed...anybody else can go somewhere else...do i think he would cheat..no...would he kick her tail to the curb before he even had a chance to call me in to help..yes...but who wants to even deal with that crap...i mean to come in the room with her cha cha's hangin out..come on now....

Sharon - posted on 08/19/2010

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stupid coms

Yes I would allow a female friend to stay the night - if e makes a pass at my husband then she is no real friend and good riddance

if he makes a pass at her - then he is not a real man and good riddance. if he'll do it with my friend then he's doing it with strangers.

At any rate the visit would be brief because I have a small house without extra rooms.

Lyndsay - posted on 08/19/2010

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It depends on the friend. Most of them, I would let stay with me if they needed to. Two of my friends are extremely promiscuous, and although I do believe they would value our friendship over a piece of ass, I wouldn't be willing to risk it. I'm not a gambler, you know? You lead the pig to the trough and he's gonna eat. Another of my friends is a huge mooch, and I wouldn't let her stay with me because she would stay on as long as possible without contributing anything and then it would be a hassle to get rid of her.

Amie - posted on 08/19/2010

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I have no issue with letting my friends stay here.

Even one when we did have a problem. It was when my husband and I had first started dating. My friend was going through a divorce and stayed with us for a little while. In exchange for babysitting for us while I was at school.

Well one day I get home and Ryan (my husband now) wants to talk. So he tells me what happened that day.

He had just come off night shift so he went to bed after I left. My friend knocked on our bedroom door and asked him if he needed anything. He said no. Then she opened the door and stood there, with her top and bra off!, and said "are you sure? Anything at all just tell me."

WTF?! I've never seen anyone run from our house so fast though.

Regardless of what another woman might try, I trust my husband. The friends I still have now, I trust with my life, my children and my husband. I have numerous acquaintances and non close friends but even they, I would help if I could. My close friends do and always will get priority before them though.

Sarah - posted on 08/19/2010

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I would let any of my best friends stay with us (not that they would want to in our teeny house with no spare room and two kids! haha) I totally trust them AND my husband. I wouldn't have any misgivings about it all.

People I'm not so friendly with, I wouldn't invite them to stay anyway. Not because I'd be worried of something happening between them and my husband, but just because as I mentioned, it would be very close quarters and not very practical, so I would only do it for my best friends. :)

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