CAS...What are they there for???

Chantel - posted on 01/23/2010 ( 9 moms have responded )

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Children's Aid Society. (I'm Canadian) So the CAS has been involved with my brother and his family since there son was born 51/2 years ago. They got involved because my sister in law had not gotten any prenatal care until there was a problem and she lost one of the twins. They now have a 51/2 year old boy and a 31/2 year old girl. CAS has continued to be involved. Home visits, made them put the kids in daycare part time, etc. My problem is this. Even though CAS is involved things have never changed, even with forced parenting classes. Tyson has recently been diagnosed ADHD. He is very slow for his age and very bad. By that I mean he never listens, talks back, hits. Riley is also very behind. They routinely send her to her room without supper when she won't eat. To the point that she asks to go to bed so she doesn't have to eat. She's very quiet and barely talks. When they play neither one wants to "be the mommy" because "mommies are mean". What is going on here??!! The times I've been to their house it's utterly disgusting. They leave food out for the kids like they're free-range chickens. Dirty pots and dishes are left on the floor for the dog who doesn't even bother with them. Garbage is all over the floor. They usually come for a visit with not nearly enough clothes or the appropriate clothes. They came up for a week at Christmas with no snowpants, mitts, or hats. Riley fell from an eight foot platform at the playground when her dad jumped on it playing around. She hit her head and he laughed and said she was fine. Refused to take her to the hospital. She has a scar. Tyson climbed up on the stove and puuled a boiling pot of water over on his face. He has a scar on his chin. Thats not even everything but the worst thing happened just a couple of weeks ago.

Tyson found a bebe gun and shot himself in the forehead. They had to call the abulance and he had to have the bebe's surgically removed. Where were his parents??!! My brother was at work but my dippy sister in law says she was watching him. Yeah right.

Anyways my mom called CAS and voiced her concerns and the worker told her that accidents happen and Kait (sister in law) told her that she had been checking on Tyson every five minutes. Mom was insistent and told her about numerous other things and the worker claimed no knowledge but she'd look into it. She also said that during her home visits the house was fine.

Seriously, I have been to that house numerous times and no way they could clean it fast enough for her not to see. We're worried about those kids. They are already way behind. My 2 year old speaks better than Riley does and can follow simple directions that Riley will just stand and look confused. These kids are lucky nothing more serious has happened.



What's the point of CAS if things like this are being overlooked??!! I mean the Grandmother called in and told them she doesn't think her own son is capable of being a parent. (He has learning disabilities as well) This makes me so mad!!

9 Comments

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Chantel - posted on 02/17/2010

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I don't know why CAS isn't doing more. They've been involved for the kids whole lives, have gone to court but nothing ever seems to change. My brother has taken parenting classes and is better although now sometimes I think he leans too far the other way with not enough discipline. They are going back to court with CAS now this week. Apparently there was an "anonymous" (lol)complaint about the kids not having the proper clothing and the bb gun incident. We'll see if anything happens this time. The school has also complained about lack of proper clothing. I have to say I think my brother sort of tries but he actually seeems to do better when she isn't around. its like he expects her to do it since she's there all day but he doesn't do it if she doesn't do it. But, if she goes away for a week he cleans the house all up and seems to do pretty good. On top of everything else now they've thrown there poor cat outside and brought in a second dog. Because they take care of the first one so well. Ugh.

Lisa - posted on 02/16/2010

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Is there any way you could help your bro whip the house into shape? Make sure the bb gun incident has no way of repeating itself. I know it is frustrating and I wish CAS was more help to you but if they aren't you may have to think of other ways to get results. Encourage them to go to playgroups or parenting classes, whatever you can think of that would help them. Circle some employment adds in the paper and hand it to her lol. Call the landlord call the fire marshal, someone must be able to scare them into cleaning up thier home. What is wrong with the system anyway? I don't understand how things like you have described get swept under the rug. Why doesnt social services make her get a job? Why doesn't CAS demand results or do something to ensure the kids safety? My heart goes out to you and your family. Do your best to help and keep doing what you're doing.

La - posted on 01/25/2010

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I'm a believer that in order to be on general assistance and food stamps you should have to be drug tested and put into a work program OR enrolled in a school of some sort....I hate when I hear that "lazy" people are living off of my family's tax money. I hope for the sake of the kids that someone DOES look into their case much closer. Unfortunately, it seems that people who live off of the system never amount to much better because it is their unmotivated mindset that keeps them from making something of their lives.

Chantel - posted on 01/25/2010

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Teachers have said some things which is what led to Tyson being medicated for ADHD. I think the visits are scheduled but I'm pretty sure they have had a couple surprise visits. I should also mention that while my brother does work it's only part time handy man stuff and my sister in law doesn't work at all. They live off of social services and the food bank. So it's not like she doesn't have time to clean she's just lazy. I guess we'll see what happens after the latest phone call to the worker. As for talking to a different worker this is actually the third worker that they've had. I don't know, I guess they just aren't seeing what we see.

Chantel - posted on 01/25/2010

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I understand that but a five year old shot himself in the head!! Seems pretty severe to me, though I know it could be worse.

La - posted on 01/25/2010

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I have a friend that works for child protective services in NJ. She tells me that there are so many cases in the system that it is policy that they only intervene is severe cases. They try to keep the kids with their parents as much as possible because the foster system is overloaded. Pretty much the only time parents are punished is when there is blatant evidence of physical abuse or if they see drugs when they visit the homes. Sad, but they just don't have the time or resources to do what SHOULD be done in all cases...the severe cases take priority it seems.

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Chantel, I feel for you and your family. I used to do some volunteer work with the CAS and in cases where a family is being followed like this, then yes, visits are usually scheduled (IMO, that defeats the pupose but I don't get a say). See if you can get their case worker to make an unscheduled visit. Keep reporting incidents. I hope it all works out in the end.

Esther - posted on 01/24/2010

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Chantel - I don't even know what to say. I'm so sorry for you and most especially for your niece & nephew. It must be heartwrenching to have to watch that from up close and not be able to do anything about it. I agree with Michelle that I would continue to report every incident, no matter how minor. I wouldn't know what else to do either. Perhaps the children's teachers can start reporting issues too?

Michelle - posted on 01/24/2010

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It sounds to me like maybe you should request that a different worker go. Do they only have scheduled visits to the house? Or are they "surprise" visits? I would just continue to call. I also think you should consider reporting incidents as soon as they happen, every time. I'm talking every time you go to the house and it's too gross for kids. Every time one of the children is hurt due to negligence. Every single time.



I'm sorry that your family is going through something like this, it must be really hard to watch your own flesh and blood be treated this way and not be able to do anything about it. *hug*

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