Child Support

Hannah - posted on 07/14/2010 ( 75 moms have responded )

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I have been hesitant to post this because I have been reemed on other debate forums because of my views. It has been kind of dead lately and I thought I could juice it up a little.

My husband has two kids from a previous marriage. We currently pay out the wazoo for them, pay for insurance, 78% of daycare expenses, and 78% of any doctor bills over and above.

Meanwhile, she lives in a 400,000 house, drives and Audi, her fiance drives a Land Rover. She works part time at Party City.

I personally think my husband got bent over in court. What do you ladies think is a fair amount for child support and medical/daycare expenses? Oh, and my husband tried to go for full custody but lost because they thought the mom was better suited. Do you think mothers should automatically be awarded custody? We couldn't even do 50/50 now, like we wanted, because she moved too far away for us to be able to drop off at school. etc..

I always said that if I had of known my husband while I was in school I would have been a lawyer specializing in Fathers rights.

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Isobel - posted on 07/15/2010

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I think the frustrating part comes when you are talking to a single mother who is genuinely hard up...like I was up till VERY recently. I am a full time student, working my butt off so that I can be able to support my children better, and my ex complained that I shouldn't be "able" to go to school (even though my job wasn't even enough to cover daycare...let alone rent).

EVERY man on the planet feels that his ex is taking advantage of him...it is VERY rarely true (although I'm sure it is in your case).

Isobel - posted on 07/15/2010

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Could you imagine then ladies, if they turned around and asked you to itemize how you spent every penny they finally were forced to pay...ugh.

or put all that money into a school account (even though you had to sacrifice YOUR life already to make sure your kids could have what they needed)

That's my point...while I'm sure your case is the one in a thousand that is true...too many of us have been on the other side, being lied about and cheated out of the few pennies that are owed to us, rather I should say, owed to our children.

Rosie - posted on 07/18/2010

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i think instead of more fathers rights lawyers there should be more childrens rights lawyers. after seeing what is going on with my niece, it's definitely NOT in her best interest to have her situation the way it is.

Meghan - posted on 07/17/2010

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OK....I didn't read anyone else's comments but here is my situation.
My ex has a 10 year old. He pays 350.00 a month for him-EVERY month. He pays for half of his sports, buys him sport gear, buys his groceries and clothes so his mom doesn't need to pack anything for him, buys him new toys and vidoe games every weekend...he has his own dirt bike, 300.00 bike, 4 skateboards....etc... His ex is a teacher and has a fiancee who makes quite a bit of money...I work part time at a pub, I have no education (he wanted me to stay home with the kids) and had to move in with my mother AND am getting student loans to go to university in the fall
Our son is 21 months and he only buys him a 20.00 toy for christmas or his bday...I have bought him all of his "bikes" I paid for swimming lessons and he didn't even offer to pay for half...he pays me 350.00 probably every 3 months but is now wanting to pay me the guidline amount (which I believe is 260.00 becuase he wants to claim undue harship for US...)...it took him 7 months to finally buy a carseat for our son (which was court ordered waaay before then) I pack all the food and diapers and wipes and milk for our sons visits because according to my ex that's what "his child support is for".
SOOO, while I understand you situation....every case has to be looked at differently. I personally DO NOT want a whole bunch of father's right activist's around. My ex has done fuck all for us! (pardon my language...I just get so upset about this) and I don't want him manipulating the court system because he wants to be disneyland dad and play with our kid every 2 weeks.

Amie - posted on 07/15/2010

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This is tricky. I'm also a little biased because my ex is a douche when it comes to his children. He has never once paid a cent in child support. He barely visits. Now that I'm married, he's using that as an excuse on why he "can't" visit. He's tried a few times over the last 5 years but never once has followed through to make it regular.



He tells awful stories about me too. Everything from I moved to get the kids away from him (this one is my personal favorite because my life obviously revolves around him), I married my husband for the money to keep him away (another gem!), that I've poisoned the kids from him (even though he can't be fucked enough to find the time or money to come see them), etc, etc etc.



Yet it's all my fault? Ok. =)



There is always two sides to every story. I understand how hard it is to listen unbiasedly when dealing with an ex. Their first priority should always be to their children. The fact that he's (my ex) had more does not negate his responsibility to the ones he had with me. If you can not afford all of your children, you should not be having them. Money is not everything but it plays a big part in raising children. It's just a fact of life.



I never would have had 2 more with my husband if we couldn't afford them. He took on my two and is raising them as his own. He did not have to do that, I did not ask that of him. He wanted to and stepped into the role like a real dad. However if he had any from a previous relationship, or even if my two were all we could afford, we wouldn't have had more.



Just some more to think about.



Oh and to answer the questions, no I don't think mom should automatically be awarded custody. CS should be done based on both incomes, not just whoever is paying. I find this to be absolutely ridiculous. I really do.

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75 Comments

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Danielle - posted on 07/22/2010

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I think the children's expenses should be split 50/50 between parents unless there is a very significant different in income. With regards to your husband's case, I absolutely feel he got "bent over" in court.

Christa - posted on 07/20/2010

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When you word it that way Laura I see what you are saying and that makes sense. :-)

Isobel - posted on 07/20/2010

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That being said, I also believe that when the mother begins to make more money or the father begins to make less, it should be made MUCH easier to amend that agreement in court.

Isobel - posted on 07/20/2010

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I don't see what spousal support has to do with the percentage of daycare costs and after-school activities...if the husband has ALWAYS paid for it, he should continue to...that's all I'm saying,

Christa - posted on 07/20/2010

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Please, nobody is saying anyone should be thrown to poverty, again SPOUSAL SUPPORT. That has nothing to do with the well being of the child. That's what matters, who can and does give the child the best life. Everything else falls into the spousal support category, that's where all those sacrifices the mother made for the father come into play.

Isobel - posted on 07/20/2010

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I'm not bitter, in fact I go out of my way to even out that situation in my own life (I pay my ex some of his child support whenever he takes the kids for visitation...which is a joke, cause his child support comes nowhere close to covering half their expenses)



I get offended when I hear women saying that they think women deserve NO rights...that because they have sacrificed their whole lives for their families they should then be thrown into poverty...and YES that is what you are suggesting...if you are not intelligent enough to understand that...oh well, I can't explain it to you anymore.

Christa - posted on 07/20/2010

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Laura you seem a little bitter . . . There is spousal support that takes care of those lopsided situations, but you seem to want to ignore that. And as a result of feminism we must do everything, that’s not what they intended, but that is how it ended up. I've always wanted to be a SAHM, but knew from the get go that this wasn't the 50's and got my degree purely as a backup, I've never cared about a career I did it to prtect myself. I didn't make the rules . . .

Isobel - posted on 07/20/2010

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Well then I believe that ANY woman who chooses to be a SAHM is a complete idiot! So long as your husband can just go along and trade you in for a newer model and you will be thrown into poverty because he's a jerk...And for the record Christa, Feminism says that you should be able to do ANYTHING...not that you have to do EVERYTHING!

Hannah - posted on 07/20/2010

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Christa, I absolutely agree with you. Like I said before, sometimes they should also take into consideration who left who. What if it was the woman that left the man for another man and then he is in this predicament. I too said each case is different and should be looked at accordingly. In my husbands case, she is obviously doing just fine living in her brand new 400,00 house driving her Audi. We pay her child support each month but we also struggle and most certainly do not live in a 400,000 house.

If the father is better able to provide for the child in Laura's scenario, he should be awarded custody. I also think that woman should have a backup plan in case this ever happens. If they are a SAHM, they should make sure that they have skills and such if they ever needed to re-enter the workforce, in cases of divorce, the husband is laid off or even death. You never know what can happen.

Christa - posted on 07/20/2010

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I haven't forgotten that. It seems with either parent he will be in childcare, so that point is moot. If his father wants him and can provide better for him then he should be with his father. Just because a women has a man's baby doesn't mean he is entitled to make her life better for the rest of her life. Back in the 50's the women did deserve for the men to take care of them because they were never allowed to do anything on their own, now it’s a different world. You can thank the feminists for this change. Women wanted to be treated equally and it's time that goes to all facets. Why is it ok to suck the man dry so he has not a single extra penny for himself while the mother gets taken care of just because she is considered the primary care giver? I truly believe if our system (the US is all I have knowledge of) was more fair and balanced more men would fight to stay in their child’s life. The way it is now, sometimes it's just easier for the father to give up their rights and move on. It's very sad, but without the resources to fight the system it can really deflate the man and they give up fighting. A person can only take so much before they shut down.

Isobel - posted on 07/20/2010

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while his mother is working 14 hours a day at McDonald's trying to come up with CLOSE to half of what all his expenses cost...I think you forget sometimes, when fighting for father's rights, that it's not about HIS rights...it's about what is best for the children.

Isobel - posted on 07/20/2010

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So then the child needs to be taken away from his primary care giver (HIS MOTHER) and put into the care of a nanny because his Dad has more money...I certainly hope you never find yourself on that side of the fence. Like I said, I'm just saying it's not cut and dry, you can't make it out like everybody should be judged by YOUR sliding scale.

Jodi - posted on 07/19/2010

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I think that is a big part of the problem, that not every case can be put into a nice neat little formula. Unfortunately, however, when you consider how many cases have to be assessed, they have had to rely on a nice neat little general formula, and that formula has probably been based on what works for the majority in some way.

I know that the formula in Australia used to be swayed the other direction, that often men were paying too much and leaving themselves not enough to live on, or being able to move on with their lives, but the men got vocal, the government decided it was unfair, so they changed the system, and now it has gone too far the other way. Personally, I don't think either system worked properly and that something in the middle would have been better, but government bureaucracy at work, what more can I say.

Christa - posted on 07/19/2010

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P.S. depending on how long they were married she would be entitled to some spousal support, but I also think that needs to be revamped but that's another discussion. . . .

Christa - posted on 07/19/2010

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Laura, I think that's why every case needs to be looked at as an individual case. And in your example then the mother should be willing to let the child live with the father if he can provide a more stable life. He should not be required to give her a whole bunch of money just because she's the mother and the kids should stay with her. IMO

Isobel - posted on 07/19/2010

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So, let's just pretend for a minute again, if a child is being raised by a fairly affluent family, the husband is very successful and the wife is a SAHM, the child goes to private school (and always has) and is in competitive hockey, this child should not only be ripped out of his home (which his mother cannot afford half of with her new job at McDonald's cause that's all she is qualified for), the child should also be removed from the school he has gone to for his whole life (cause his mother cannot afford half with her job at McDonald's), and no longer be able to go to hockey (because his mother cannot afford half of the equipment and ice time, and car to take him to games...even though his father can easily afford 100%???

I'm not saying that's always the case or that nobody takes advantage of the system...I'm just saying that it's not always that cut and dry.

Oh, and for the record, I used to believe I married the same guy as you two...then found out his "crazy" ex was right...not that it will happen to you guys obviously, I'm just sayin'.

Hannah - posted on 07/19/2010

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@Christa, sure does sound an awful lot alike.

you know I was thinking about the comment she made to my husband about him having his own family. SO.... he is only the dad when it comes to child support and a very convenient baby sitter every other weekend but if it came down to his son wanting to live with him he can't because my husband has his "own family"... WTF!!!! That makes me so fuming mad.

Jodi - posted on 07/19/2010

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Hannah, that's how they calculate child support in Australia too, based on what would be "household income" of the 2 parties involved. It is a complex formula, I won't go into it, but basically, the amount literally HALVES the minute a father has the children for 2 nights a fortnight. I find that ironic, that the system can consider a parent who has a child 1 night per week on average has contributed to 1/4 the cost, when generally, that parent isn't purchasing clothes, shoes, school uniforms, paying medical bills, dental and so on. It's a joke.



So in many ways, our system has skewed totally the other way. I earn pretty much the same as my ex husband. The system tells us that my son costs $9585 per year to raise once he reaches the age of 18. Fair enough......but my ex only has to pay $2585 of that. That's right. because he has him every other weekend and does sweet fuck all the rest of the time (in almost 13 years, has never taken him to a doctor or dentist, never had to pay for his dental plate, never buys clothes, not a penny toward school fees, and so on), that's his contribution. Admittedly, I receive our family tax benefits, but that takes my current husband's income into account, so it isn't just based on my income.



I couldn't even IMAGINE $1000 a month plus extras. That is huge, and in my opinion, your husband sounds like he is paying the ENTIRE cost of raising your son, which is really unfair.

Christa - posted on 07/19/2010

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Hannah, if I didn't know any better I'd say we married the same person. lol! My husband’s son has been asking to live with us for years now and we always have said yes. I remember the first time he asked his mom was in front of us when we were dropping them back off and she literally laughed in his face. He's finally going to be old enough that she can't hold him hostage anymore. I do agree with getting one lawyer to represent the kids, maybe then they would actually be put first by both parents in ALL cases.

Hannah - posted on 07/19/2010

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Hey guys, sorry I have been MIA. I don't come on over the weekends.

I do want to say that every situation is different and should be looked at accordingly. Maybe not every case should be 50/50.

For instance, when my husband and the ex divorced they based the 78% because he made 78% of the household income at the time of their divorce. Ok, I can understand that, however, I think that MOST woman should be required to go back to work so that they can pay their part in raising the children too! I hope that makes sense. The responsibility shouldn't fall on the father entirely just because he made more of the income. She left him too. I hate that we are no fault state and that doesn't matter to the courts. She wanted to leave and start her own life without him, why should he be required to pay this crazy amount when it isn't what he wanted at the time. Don't get me wrong, I am so happy that she did, her loss is my gain!

I don't know, I just think that men are too often screwed and they love their kids just as much as the mothers do. His son asked us yesterday if he could live with us. Of course we said yes. Well, he went home and told his mom and she called my husband crying telling him that he has his own family. Well, whether she likes it or not, those are his kids too and he has just as much right to them as she does. It breaks my husbands heart. He knows that he isn't as close to them as he is to our kids and he hates that.

All I want is fairness!!! On both sides, nobody should be screwed and the kids shouldn't have to pay for it.

Tara - posted on 07/19/2010

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just to clarify for all you non canadians, the child tax benefit used to be called a baby bonus. It is a monthly tax credit given to families in canada. The amount is based on your income. Some people do not receive anything because they make a lot more money, some receive the full amount because they are low income. We receive a moderate amount each month. It's canada's way of supporting families.
:)Tara

Tara - posted on 07/19/2010

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Well.... it depends on what he makes I suppose. I don't agree with mothers automatically getting custody of children.
My ex and I had our problems, they were not the children's problems. When we split we did a joint custody. They are with me from Sunday evening until Thursday afternoon, with him for the rest of the week every week. We homeschool our kids so the distance (2 hours) isn't an issue. He pays no support to me, I receive the Canada Child Tax benefit because they reside with me more than him. We split on the cost of school items, sports, winter clothing, etc.
He makes less than I do, he pays more than I do in expenses so therefore I choose not to make his life anymore stressful by seeking support (which I could probably get a little of). The kids are well cared for, well fed and happy. If I went after him for money, he would have to take on a second job and that would mean they wouldn't see him. Their happiness is more important to me than the little amount of money the courts would award me.
I think each case is different though. In your case I would go back to the courts, have them do an actual financial assessment of both your husband and his exes situation and see if it can be lowered.
Tara

Annmarie - posted on 07/19/2010

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When I met my husband he had custody of his 3 children. No child support from his ex. The courts over these past 11 yrs have not forced her to pay much, due to her constant ability to come up with simple dr notes to state she is being tested for every illness you can name. She has paid $3000 in 11yrs for all 3 and now owes $5500 to date. this woman abandon her children to go drinking and constantly gets DUI citations. She also has 2 other children from different fathers. She does not have custody of any of her 5 children and pays NO support for any. I think the courts are too easy on deadbeat moms, but the tides are slowly turning. Today 70% of men get custody of their children. This is largely due to women going into the work force. The men are gaining ground.

Jodi - posted on 07/18/2010

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I didn't think you would mean it that way Christa :)

Believe me, I'm no bitter ex....I moved on a LONG time ago. Anyone still bitter after 10 years of divorce has some serious issues, IMO :)

But I do understand your point, that sometimes the feelings of the parents cloud the interests of the child.

Christa - posted on 07/18/2010

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I'm sorry if I came off that way. I no nothing of any of your individual situations and wouldn't judge you that way. I guess that was my way of saying there's two sides to every story. And you hear these horrible stories about the dad's all the time and many times it's just a bitter ex talking, sometimes not.

Jodi - posted on 07/18/2010

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"I bet if my husbands ex was in this group she would sound a lot like many of you and call my husband a dead beat dad too."

I kind of got that message too......

Honestly, there are those who pay child support, and then those who don't (the ones who are dead beats). There are those who try to involve themselves in their kids lives, and those who don't (the dead beats). To me, that's pretty clear cut.

My ex pays child support here and there, but still has a debt (yep, even with only $165 a month to pay, he has accumulated a $3000 debt), and spends time with his son, but has never even asked him how high school is going, given it is his first year, has no idea who his friends are, and even flipped out when Jayden's best friend lost his mother to breast cancer (Jayden was also quite close to her) and Jayden chose to hang out with his mate instead of his dad on the weekend following the funeral. To me, that is not being involved in your child's life. Having visitation and being involved are very different things.

Some people have legitimate reasons why their children's fathers shouldn't have 50/50 rights.....because it ISN'T in the best interests of the children. A lot should be 50/50, and it is purely because the system is biased that this doesn't happen, or because it is very easy for a mother to manipulate the system because she chooses to (and yes, this happens too).

I agree with Kati, maybe parents should be hiring a single lawyer whose job it is to fight for the best interests of the kids. Because this is SUCH a variable that I don't think any one single system with a nice set of basic guidelines could really cover it.

Isobel - posted on 07/18/2010

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Sorry but you did kinda say we were the same as your husbands ex by saying that she would say the same thing as us and that she was an asshat (paraphrasing of course)

[deleted account]

It's Teresa ;) and I do realize that. It's just a subject that is quite sore w/ me. As I said in my first post on this thread... I should probably stay out of this one. ;)

Christa - posted on 07/18/2010

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Theresa, I wasn't trying to say any of you were wrong. I was just talking about the general attitude in this country.

Rosie - posted on 07/18/2010

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same here cathy, same here!

i do get what christa is saying though. i think it stinks that men are not equal when it comes to the courts. for years i've been stuck inbetween the custody battle over my niece, and each person says things about the other one or does something that is completely whacky. i wish they would just sit down and do what's best for my niece instead of all this back and forth bull. she needs both of her parents and always has, and it hurts me to hear her talk about her situation. shes 11 and shouldn't have to be going through what she has been for years now. pretty much since she was 2. gah!

[deleted account]

Oh, I totally know that not all men are scum. My ex is actually the only 'scum' that I have any personal experience w/ so far. All my friends are married to GREAT men.

Meghan - posted on 07/18/2010

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I am not a total man hater. I don't think that all dad's are useless and deadbeats...I know alot of great dad's and it sounds like Hannah's hubby is one of them! I also realize that there are a lot of women that manipulate and use their kids as leverage.

[deleted account]

Sorry, Christa... I get that you are on the side of the exhusband because of your circumstances, but that doesn't make those of us complaining about our ex's automatically wrong....

I didn't make my ex move away to be w/ another woman and her kids instead of staying on an island where he could have joint custody of HIS kids. True, I refused to send my 6 year olds and an infant on a plane to be w/ a man who threatened to take them away and never return them... but what mother wouldn't refuse that. I'm not standing in the way of my ex trying to pay some of his over $12,000 in child support. I spent a year and a half begging him to come see his girls and get to know his son, but he refused. Then walked into court after that year and a half and asked for full custody... to take the kids away from ME pernanently. A man that thinks uprooting an infant from the only security he's ever known to go and live w/ a man that he's never met by THAT MAN'S selfish choice is a man that NEEDS to be fought.

Christa - posted on 07/18/2010

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I think it's sad for the kids of divorce. I bet if my husbands ex was in this group she would sound a lot like many of you and call my husband a dead beat dad too. Which is not the case at all, but she tries her damndest to paint him that way. I think she is a waste of space who uses her kids as leverage to hurt my husband and make him pay for divorcing her (she's clearly not over that), but she's probably not as bad as I think she is. And I bet a majority of the "dead beat dads" aren't either. I think MOST people want to do what's right for their kids, but negative feelings towards their exes get in the way. Too many times one parent tries to hurt the other parent and the only people who end up hurt are the kids. I think sometimes the mothers make it SOOO hard for the dad to do what's right that they get tired of fighting. They get tired of fighting against the whole society. If you are a father of divorced children you have to PROVE you are a good dad instead of being given the benefit of the doubt. I don't think anybody's life is easier after a divorce and I'm so sick of hearing the sob stories from the poor neglected moms. Yes there are jerks out there who never should have fathered children but there are also jerks who never should have mothered children. Each case needs to be looked at objectively; there should not be a formula. BOTH parties should have to prove that they are a good parent not just the dads. Meghan, I'm not trying to single you out and I have no idea of your situation so this is not directed at you, but this comment you made proves my point. "I personally DO NOT want a whole bunch of father's right activist's around." Father's SHOULD have a bunch of activists around. They SHOULD feel like they have an equal right to fight for their kids. They SHOULD have some help to get what they deserve. Attitudes like that are part of the reason so many children grow up without a strong presence from their fathers.

My husband is in the situation he is in, because the day after they decided to separate she ran home to mommy, (in another state 5 hours away) and took the kids, then she took care of all the court documents and left him with all kinds of bills he couldn't pay without her second income. So while he was trying to clean up the financial mess she left him as well as missing his kids, she took all of his rights away and he didn't know how to fight her. It wasn't that he didn't love or want his kids, he just didn't have the money or the legal know how to know what to do and before he knew what happened the papers were signed and he was screwed. And it's close to impossible for him to undo what she did unless he can prove she's abusive (which she’s not). That's NOT right and I know he is not the only man who's bitter ex did this to him and now calls him a dead beat. Our legal system is jacked up and it’s ONLY hurting the children.

Rosie - posted on 07/18/2010

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but teresa kauai is MUCH better than the big island, lol!! it's got you!!

[deleted account]

I don't have much familiarity with these unfortunate situations, but I know enough, and have experienced enough (close friends' experiences) to take the greatest exception to Laura's comment : "EVERY man on the planet feels that his ex is taking advantage of him...it is VERY rarely true"

That is just NOT TRUE. I know of several situations where both parties are very happy with arrangements. I know of some situation where one part is unhappy and the other is not. And a very close friend is still trying to get custody of his 2 sons while his ex-wife parties lots and sleeps round. There are all sorts of permutations, and it's not always the man being an arsehole.

Generalisation don't work.

[deleted account]

Thanks for posting that Jodi... even though you weren't talking directly to me. I KNOW that in my heart, but hearing the girls talk about wanting to be on the Big Island still gets to me. They don't actually say they want to live w/ Daddy though... just go back to the Big Island.

Jodi - posted on 07/17/2010

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Meghan, with regard to the disneyland dad thing, my ex does that with our son ever 2 weeks, and honestly, the kids do see through it. My son knows what his dad is like. I actually am not at all fussed how often he wants to go to his dads, mostly his dad only WANTS him every 2 weeks (kids are hard work, more than every second weekend is tough for them, LOL).

I know you can't see it now, but his dad being Disneyland dad won't affect your relationship with your son. My son knows where he would rather be most of the time....in the house where he gets taken to school, help with his homework, and a healthy meal on the table every day, a mum who cuts his school lunch, discusses current affairs with him, and makes sure he has his bags are organised to take to his dad's (yes, I have to send him with everything). All that boring mundane stuff that makes you "less disneyland" is the stuff that our kids need and thrive on, and couldn't do without in their lives. They do eventually recognise it all for what it is :)

Jodi - posted on 07/16/2010

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@ Laura, I would consider that alimony or spouse maintenance, and in some cases, a woman (or man, depending on the situation) absolutely has that right to be paid in her own right. But to me, it is a separate argument to child support, as it should be.

Jaime - posted on 07/16/2010

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I agree Hannah...your husband is in a shitty situation because of the stereotype of "dead beat dad" that is so much more common (or perhaps expected). Like I mentioned in my last post, I know a lot more involved fathers than I do dead beats.

Rosie - posted on 07/16/2010

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to me that falls under the category of alimony laura, not child support. i totally get what you are saying, i'm scared it may happen to me some day cause i've given up everything for my husband as well. although he's not some big head honcho or anything though. how i wish i had a sugar daddy!!lol!

Isobel - posted on 07/16/2010

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I have a question for you...if you were just starting University and got pregnant, then married, and spent all of your time helping your husband get HIS degree, entertained his boss once he got a job, raised his children, did his laundry, cooked his dinner cleaned his house...then he went out and traded you in for the younger, prettier woman...why should he still be out making his hundreds of thousands a year while you have nothing? Is that woman still responsible for half the childrens' expenses...even though she is now only capable of getting a minimum-wage job because she gave up everything to take care of this man's family?

Now I'm not saying that's your case, obviously...just suggesting that there are, SOMETIMES cases where the ex should not be responsible for 50%

Hannah - posted on 07/16/2010

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I am not saying we can't afford the child support. We pay every month on time. I just don't think it is equal or fair at all. I think things shoudl be more 50/50. I do think he should have to pay child support and he does want to see his kids.

I feel bad for the woman that their ex's just eff them and leave all the child raising to the mothers. I think those guys are total douche bags.

Like I said, it seems that the guys who actually give a shit about their kids are making up for the douche bags who don't. :)

Jaime - posted on 07/16/2010

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On father's day I came across a quote that I thought was pretty funny;

Question: What do you get a dead beat dad for father's day?
Answer: A really nice tie. Dead beat dad's gotta look good in court!

LMAO

Now honestly....not all dads are deadbeats, in fact I know more dads that take their parenting seriously and do what they have to for their kids despite any hard feelings for their ex. I just wish the judicial system worked more in favour of an equal split unless absolutely necessary to establish sole custody to one parent, so that dad's didn't always feel defeated or threatened just because they are dads and not moms.

Amie - posted on 07/16/2010

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Teresa, I'm just convinced there's a dead beat dad manual out there somewhere.

If you want to be a REAL dead beat dad and drive your ex insane at the same time.. this is the book for you!

=)

[deleted account]

Amie, I think our ex's are related. To hear him tell it... I'm the one keeping him from his kids even though HE is the one that moved as far away from them as he could and still be in the same state. Nevermind the fact that I spent a year and a half begging him to come see his kids and he refused..... @@

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