Chivalry or Chauvinism?

[deleted account] ( 14 moms have responded )

A teenage boy refuses to wrestle a girl in a wrestling match due to gender. Chivalry or Chauvinism?

(yes this actually happened last week & now everyone is in an uproar because he lost the title because of it. She won by default.)


Rosie - posted on 02/23/2011




this was in my state, and it irritates the hell out of me. it has everything to do with his religion, and of course that irritates the hell out of me. i don't think he intended it to be chauvenistic, but it turned out to be that way in my mind. "the poor girl is so weak, and frail, and precious that i shouldn't touch her" mentality, needs to stop. she went out for wrestling, she knew men were going to be "hurting her" or touching her, it's not like she wasn't going to be aware of what would happen.

iowa is a HUGE wrestling state. wrestling here is like football in texas. we're always number one. i was a wrestling cheerleader in highschool (lol) and i saw my fair share of girls in the sport, and they did fairly well actually. i never saw one at the state tournament though. as a woman, seeing another woman kick a mans ass was empowering. and for this asshat to say no cause he might hurt her, or get off on it, or whatever, pisses me off. it puts back womens rights, and advancement in this sport. grrr.....

[deleted account]

When I read this, the first thing I thought was, "That poor girl." To win by default is a shallow victory. While I agree with you that not enough boys today are being taught to be respectful of women, I also lean more towards the women's rights angle. It's not fair to make it acceptable for girls to participate in sports, but then to teach our boys to not truly LET the girls participate. I can see that the boy was probably being chivalrous, but at the same time, it's a game, a sport. Boys need to be taught respect for women, but also to accept that we are going to be involved in areas of their life where chivalry will have to be put on the back burner. There's a way for boys to respect girls, but still compete with them in activities like this. Again, I mostly feel bad for the girl. She probably felt horrible in her "win".


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April - posted on 02/23/2011




I don't know much about wrestling but from what i see on tv, maybe (like some of the ladies above have have said) the boy was just afraid to touch her somewhere inappropriate? There could be many reason why, maybe he just didn't want to lose to a girl or maybe he just didn't want to end up hurting her because if he had, it would be a big deal? i don't know, just some thoughts. :)

Tara - posted on 02/23/2011




I think it's bull shit and I'm glad he lost by default, he shouldn't be allowed to wrestle if he is going to discriminate against his opponent based on anything, especially gender!
Would he be "allowed" to not fight a black/asian/fat/skinny etc. kid? Nope.
his parents ought to be ashamed.

Merry - posted on 02/23/2011




My first thought was he probably just didn't want to accidentally grab a boob or something. It would be quite awkward to wrestle a girl I'd think, and could be embarrassing if you grab the wrong parts.
Most sports have boys leagues and girls leagues. Wrestling definitely needs gender leagues, just out of fairness and respect I think.
I mean we all know girls are not the same as boys biologically, girls don't have the same muscle mass as boys and while they can work to be equal in strength, it's just not something kids need to be dealing with.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 02/23/2011




Juleah, I was just gonna say something similiar..what if he was afraid to get an errection being pphysical with the girl?

JuLeah - posted on 02/23/2011




I kind of don't balem him .... I don't think it was chivalry or chauvinsim .... he has been taught his whole life that boys and girls don't touch one another in the ways wrestling holds mandiate .... he was uncomfortable

Katherine - posted on 02/23/2011




What Marina said.
Can you find the link, Deanna? I read this story too.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 02/23/2011




It all depends on how the boy was raised...was he raised to never hit a girl, or that girls are not as good as boys at certain things. If he did not wrestle a girl becouse he did not want to hurt her, chivalry...if he was scared to lose to a girl.. chauvisnism.

LaCi - posted on 02/23/2011




I'm sure that his reasons weren't chauvinistic, most people are raised with that way of thinking. However, I think that way of thinking needs to be challenged to the extent that there is a time and place in which it ISN'T wrong to lay a hand on a woman. The time and place being this, as well as other contact sports. The girl wants to wrestle, and it would be unfortunate if none of the males would wrestle her (which is just grappling anyway) just because she's female. So, while I TOTALLY agree with raising boys to not hurt women-sports just don't count. It's just unfair for a girl to be left out of a sport she wants to be involved in due to the gender boundaries we're used to.

[deleted account]

IMO......I think it was & is Chivalry. Before my husband's day men/boys were taught to respect women. Not to hit and definitely NOT to lay hands on a woman other than love or respect. I think the men/boys in my generation (I am only 30) and up to today don't get taught this routinely as there are exceptions. I think this is a wonderful thing this young man has done and the fact that he has stuck up for what he believes in. I only wish more boys/men were like him.

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