co-sleeping - what do you think?

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[deleted account]

Our oldest (5) will crawl into our bed at 5 in the morning. I have no problem with this as it is nice to cuddle an hour or 2 before you have to get up. Our 18month old has been in her cot since day 1 (in our room, but not in our bed) We moved her out at about 9months. Now the two sisters are sharing a room and it is going pretty well!!

Last 2 nights they both slept through!!! No bottle at 12 and no crawl into bed at 5!! My husband believe its because we DIDN'T put the night light on....

Sally - posted on 04/16/2012

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All 3 of mine slept in my room until about 6 months then they were moved to their own room, i was happy to get up and settle them with some water and im gald i did because they were all good sleepers.. They only ever came in my bed if they were poorly , i could not have slept with them there. I guess each to their own but id rather spend a few months getting up to see to them and teaching them to sleep and settle alone. It worked for me but maybe i was lucky or a really mean mummy.lol



ETA: Jen what a loving thing to do. I would have done the dame.

Vicki - posted on 04/16/2012

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Works for us. In his first year, and once he'd stopped pooing at night in the first week or so, I never had to get out of bed. I'd hate to have to get up, stagger to cot, try to stay awake while bfing, transfer back to cot then get back to bed... but need to pee.... then not able to sleep. Sounds painful. Instead I just popped boob in mouth, back to sleep, easy.



Before anyone brings up the overlaying issue, please watch the fox news video at this link http://www.blogher.com/fox-news-says-inf... For breastfeeding babies, co-sleeping is safe.



For some totally non-scientific anecdata, I've been involved with two SIDS cases at work, both were in cots. Being involved with those further made me want to keep my baby close.

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Laura - posted on 03/11/2013

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I posted this when my baby was just 12 weeks old and i was constantly being told that i shouldnt be letting him sleep in bed with me! i was scared i was being judged........I MUST add now, he is 14 months and we have coslept from day one, never rolled on him, hes never fallen out of bed and its been nothing but successful!! He begins the night in his cot as i cant put him in bed now hes walking and can easily jump out of bed. If he wakes in the night, hes straignt in bed with me and we love it. The way i see it, he will sleep in his bed when hes ready, hes a happy and confident little chap and i will never regret cosleeping! I believe it has made him the happy boy he is.

Always trust your own judgement. If you feel it wont work for you, dont do it but if youre all happy that way then go for it. You do what is right for you and your family xxx

Emily - posted on 03/10/2013

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Been co-sleeping with my son since the day we got home from the hospital :) he's almost 8 months old now and has been sleeping in his crib lately. ONLY because he can crawl really well now and gets a kick out of falling off the bed lol... My husband works out of town for 9 months out of the year so I love sleeping with my sweet angel boy. My only advice to those wanting to co-sleep is to make sure you have a pillow between your legs while sleeping on your side. This keeps you from rolling over on your babe. Good luck to you ladies, never regret the choices you're making for your children. Being a part of communities like this shows that you are a caring mother, so have faith in your decisions. Don't let others misguide you in to thinking what you choose is wrong!

Sarah - posted on 04/17/2012

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I co-slept with all three of mine, my first because he had terrible wind pains, but slept soundly through the night with us. and the other two because it just seemed right after the first. when I guiltily told my OB at my 6 week check up he said that he and his wife had co-slept with all 8 of their children, he also said that studies had shown that a babies teperature is better regulated through the night. We never had any problems with it, but we did avoid consuming alcohol or any medications that would dull our sences

Chelsey - posted on 04/16/2012

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I don't think that i could ever do it. My husband keeps me up with his snoring enough and adding a baby or a child making noises and moving around wouldn't help me get a better nights sleep.

My 5 year old has only slept with us twice and that was because she had such a high fever that I was worried about her. She wasn't a big fan of sleeping with us either. In fact, the one time as soon as her fever broke and she was feeling better, she asked to go back to her bed lol.

I don't think my 3 year old has ever slept with us. At least not as far as I can remember.

And lastly my 2 month old has never slept with us either. I'm breastfeeding but he is still in his own room. When he wakes in the middle of the night my husband gets up to change his diaper while I go to the bathroom. Even if Isaac slept in our room I'd still have to get out of bed because there is no way I wouldn't have to pee lol

Stifler's - posted on 04/16/2012

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I think do whatever you want as long as it's safe. I refuse to cosleep though.

Minnie - posted on 04/16/2012

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Everyone should sleep where everyone gets the most sleep. I've co-slept with both of my children since birth and still do. Our six year old sleeps in a twin in our bedroom and has just recently expressed a desire to have her own room (see? They -do- want to move out when they're ready).

Johnny - posted on 04/16/2012

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We co-slept, we bed shared and we've slept separately. Depending on what was needed at the time. When my daughter was under 1, I didn't mind bedsharing, but we did have a co-sleeper set up for safety. She got too big for that and I just preferred having her in the same room. She was a very restless sleeper. We had her for a while on a mattress beside our bed. Now that she's older, I prefer to have her in her own room although she likes to sleep with us. We ALL sleep better when she is not in our bed. I am a big believer in each family doing what is right for them as long as they follow safety considerations.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 04/16/2012

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Jen--- It's funny, he only really wanted to sleep with me after we left my 2nd husband (he was abusive). We moved into an apartment and he would almost be in tears begging me to let him sleep with me (he was 13). I though he was too old but let him anyway. I just figured he really needed that human contact so I let him. It was only about a week and then he was fine back in his own bed.



I think you were so sweet to do this for your son. He needed it and you were there for him. If it were me I would have done the exact same thing. He was obviously feeling something internally and needed comfort from his Momma (regardless of how old they get, you are still their Mom). Good job! ;)

[deleted account]

We slept on the couch the first month. Then he was in his crib, I was terrified to the point of being unable to sleep that I'd roll over on him. This worked great. When he moved to a bed, I would sometimes doze on the end of his bed till he fell asleep but he didn't need it that often. It's funny, he only really wanted to sleep with me after we left my 2nd husband (he was abusive). We moved into an apartment and he would almost be in tears begging me to let him sleep with me (he was 13). I though he was too old but let him anyway. I just figured he really needed that human contact so I let him. It was only about a week and then he was fine back in his own bed. I know some people may look askance at his age on that one but I'm glad I did it. He really needed me and I think he would have been hurting horrible if I'd turned him away. We were coming out of something traumatic and he needed Mommy so I was there.

I think it's dependent on the child and how it's handled. My son has a 5 year old stepbrother with his Dad and Stepmom. Per my son (and this is taken with a grain of salt), the brother cannot sleep without someone in the bed with him - including naps so if stepmom is busy, he has to lay down with him. Tha'ts a bit extreme in my opinion but I'm not there to know the details.

Beth - posted on 04/16/2012

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I wanted to co-sleep, but I was afraid of the dangers of having our son in the bed with us as an infant. So, we opted for a co-sleeper bassinet that pulled right up next to the bed, and he slept there until he outgrew it, about 6 months. I was happy to have him right next to me at night, but I still felt safe knowing he was in his own space. I know some people really enjoy having the baby in bed, and they swear it's safe, but my husband's a heavy sleeper, and I'm a very mobile sleeper, and it just wasn't right for us.

Jodi - posted on 04/16/2012

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I co-slept (read bed-shared) my first until she was nearly two. The only reason we "quit" was because I so big and prego with the twins I needed all the space in my bed to get comfy. She transitioned to sleeping in a toddler bed in our room, then eventually to her own with no problems. I bed shared with one of my twins until about a year, the other slept in a crib next to our bed. They are now both sleeping in their own room, through the night, again, no problems. We quit that simply because, I guess we wanted our own space back! lol



I wouldn't trade back one moment of bed sharing or co-sleeping...I miss it at times! lol I think it's a wonderful thing for those that WANT it and are comfortable with it, do it safely etc etc. It's certainly not for everyone, but it can be an amazing part of parenting.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 04/16/2012

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I co-slept with my daughter. By the time she was 3 she had to get out of my bed. Neither of us were having good sleeps, plus she was wetting MY bed all the time. At the age of 3 I can tell you it was torture for her and me, to get her in her own bed. She didn't know how to do it on her own. I had to read to her (which I did anyway), then sit there until she was sleeping. Which could have been hours, since she knew as soon as she closed her eyes, I was going to leave. So, that didn't work well. I had to switch gears. Which left both of us in tears every single night for a good 2-3 weeks. I would read her a book, tuck her in, kiss her goodnight, then walk away. She would flip. She would beeline for the door, I had to close it and stand there forEVER holding the handle. This could go on for an hour. Finally she would lie down and go to sleep.



There was no way in god's green earth, I was doing that again, when I had my son. Besides this time I had a husband and our bed is ours, not everyone's.



I slept with my son on the couch until he was 3 months. Then he was moved to his crib. I would sit there and rub his back until he was sleeping but when he woke he would not go back to sleep. I tried the "no cry method" for 1.5 months. That was CRAP. It wasn't helping. So, I read up and researched the hell out of "cry it out method". This is what I ended up doing. My son was 5 months old then. He is now 17 months and he has slept every single night for 11-12 hours, since 4 days after employing the CIO method. It is absolutely wonderful.



When we began this method, we did it exactly as Dr. Sears suggests. You simply place your child in their crib, kiss them goodnight and walk out. Yep, there is crying but you decide how long you are going to let them cry before going back in to lie them back down (no talking!). I picked 30mins. The first night he cried the entire 30mins, I went in checked on him and left. he cried lightly for 5 more mins and went to sleep. If he woke, he was left to cry for 30mins. He always ended up going back to sleep. The 2nd night he only cried for 15mins. The 3rd night, 10mins. The 4th night, 5 mins. That was it. He was sleep trained.



My husband and I get to relax and enjoy every single night from 8pm on. Anyone can out our son to bed, he knows it is bedtime and he is always more than ready. He no longer cries. He hasn't for a good 11 months now. He no longer wakes during the night either. He hasn't done that for the past 11 months either. So, the first month he woke here and there but I left him. I knew he was not hungry, he was old enough to not need to eat through the night. I know he was safe.



I know there are some moms that think the CIO method is cruel. However, until you have researched it thoroughly and tried it properly, don't judge. Since most moms, that do think it is cruel, are still running around at 12months+ with a child that will not sleep on their own. They are stressed out that their little one will not just go to sleep and stay asleep. I for one, get lots of sleep and have for 12 (going on 13) months. All from putting my foot down for 4 days. ;)



It was worth it for my boy and for everyone in my home. We all get the right amount of sleep, therefore everyone is very happy. ;)



ETA:

We also have 3 monitors throughout our house. We still use them, more out of habit than anything.



I do also want to point out that, there is a "right" way to employ the CIO method and there is a "wrong" way. You are not supposed to leave your baby cry for hours on end until they fall asleep. That is a complete misconception of many. I think the name is what inflicts that belief. It is simply not how it is done and that is the "wrong" way to do it. It is all about scheduling a time for when you will go back in, to show them you are still there, then leaving again after kissing them and laying them back down. However, you do not talk to them at all, otherwise they want to get up and it makes it worse.

Janice - posted on 04/16/2012

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I think you do whatever works for your family and each child.

I started co-sleeping because my first had colic and once I was too tired to pace I would lay her on my chest and pat her butt till we both fell asleep (around 3am!). Colic was over by 13 weeks and we co-slept and night nursed happily until she turned 9 months. When she learned to crawl she also decided to stop sleeping well. By 10 months I decided to both night wean and sleep train, one at a time of course :)



With my son I thought I would surely co-sleep but with-in a month I realized he slept longer on his own. If he is next to me and smells the boob juice he wants it but if he is in his crib or bassinet he just sleeps.



Now this past week the kids have had colds which is rare and my 2 year old demanded "daddy bed." It has not been fun. Exactly like the link Vicki posted (minus king kong :)) Except every few hours I was also trying to find room for the baby to nurse since he wasnt sleeping well either.

And I guess we have always been co-sleepers because when we got our puppy 9 years ago he cried the first night and hubby convinced me to let him in bed the 2nd night and he has been there ever since. 5 mammals in a queen sized bed is not fun! :P

[deleted account]

Well, first of all, co-sleeping and bed sharing are two different things. Co-sleeping is where the child sleeps in the same room as the parent(s), but not in the same bed. Bed sharing, well that's pretty self explainatory. We've done both and like Dove said, it's awesome and annoying at the same time but I wouldn't trade one single moment of it. Our son is 4 now and sleeps in his own room most nights (still comes to our bed once in awhile). I was just telling someone earlier that I miss him sleeping next to me, even though he's a bed hog and even though I've been smacked with flailing arms and legs countless times. It took me about a week or two to get used to sleeping alone (husband works nights...well, he DID until today :).

Karen - posted on 04/16/2012

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I co-sleep with my daughter, but we have a unique situation. I started sleeping alone when I got pregnant, because my husband is a sleep walker/violent sleeper. You know how most people have this switch in their brain that flips, and your body becomes paralyzed while you sleep so that you don't hurt yourself by acting out your dreams? Well his switch doesn't flip. He talks, he walks and he flails his limbs. He even gets up and snacks in the middle of the night and often has no memory of it. According to his mom, hes been doing this since he was in diapers.



My daughter has a big bed, so I just sleep in her room with her at night. I could probably go back to the marital bed now, but, uhhhh, that's not really tempting lol! I joke that I might have my own bed one day, 50s style.



The little one is showing signs that she might be a violent sleeper as well. Then again, it might be a normal part of co-sleeping to have tiny toes jam into your ribs. Her head swings around like a wrecking ball. Mama wants her own bed LOL!

Sara - posted on 04/16/2012

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I think it depends on the child and the family. With my oldest we didn't cosleep, it didn't work for her or us. With my youngest, it works so it's what we do...

Lady Heather - posted on 04/16/2012

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I never found it necessary with my first because she slept through the night from the start. I had younger baby in bed with me for three months. My husband slept in the guest room because he doesn't have awareness of the kid when he's sleeping. Now she is in her crib right next to me. I wanted my husband back. And while she does wake up every couple of hours to eat (sigh), it's only for five minutes at a time so it doesn't bother me to pick her up.



It's not something I'm personally into for long term, although I do like to have my girls with me when my husband is out of town. That's more because I'm paranoid when it comes to house fires and I don't want to pick who to save first.

Elfrieda - posted on 04/16/2012

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I can't imagine how it works, but that's because my son is like he is. Just yesterday my husband and I were sleepily lying in bed with my son because he was having trouble taking a nap. Well, WE were lying in bed. My son was doing sommersaults, screaming with excitement, and coming to lie his head on the pillow so he could roll back and forth between us and rub noses with us. He's always been like that, except when I could nurse him to sleep. He gets so stimulated when there are people are around he can't sleep. Hopefully our next one is a little more mellow. It would make the early months easier if I could just roll over and nurse the baby instead of going to the next room. We used to goggle at people when they used to advise, "well, just take the baby to bed with you, that'll get him to sleep". We tried it many times, but it never worked. Even at 6 months he just wanted to play, not sleep.

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