Could it be??

Katherine - posted on 12/12/2010 ( 23 moms have responded )

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My soon to be ex is showing symptoms.



He has all of the signs. I never thought of this before until someone in the Autism group brought it up.



Asperger syndrome (AS) is a pervasive developmental disorder at the highest end of the autism spectrum. People with AS develop language normally, but often have difficulty with social interactions, fine and gross motor coordination, and eye contact. They may be extremely passionate about just one or two topics, with little patience for small talk. They also may struggle to handle normal daily activities, such as organizing time, managing conflict, or even facing the sensory overload presented by malls and grocery stores.



Adults with AS may appear painfully shy, or they may be extremely outgoing - sometimes to the point of being "in your face." That's because people with AS often misinterpret social interaction. Questions they may ask themselves: How far away do I stand from another person? How long can I talk about my favorite subject? What's the right answer to "how are you?"



If these are the types of questions that puzzle you on a regular basis, you may already have considered the possibility that you have AS. And "if you think you have Asperger syndrome, you probably do," says Michael John Carley, Executive Director of Global and Regional Partnership for Asperger Syndrome (GRASP).





He meets all of these criteria. Could it be?

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Tara - posted on 12/12/2010

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I don't know, there would have to be more to a diagnosis than answering those questions. I've worked with young adults with AS, been their one to one worker and I know there is a lot of variances between AS affected people. It may be that he actually does have AS, it may be he is just one of those people who is socially awkward.

I would suggest to him that he see a doctor, LMAO. Being an ex I'm sure he would rather sit in a puddle full of puke than listen to anything you have to say though!!

:)

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Stifler's - posted on 12/13/2010

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Maybe I have ADHD and Aspergers. I can never watch an entire movie without getting mad at how boring it is or walking off to call someone on the phone or use Facebook or eat.

Katherine - posted on 12/13/2010

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I JUST thought about it because someone in the autism group posted about her husband. I was like, "Oh my gosh, that's exactly how mine was."

Rosie - posted on 12/13/2010

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you know katherine, i've always wondered the same about my ex, and now our child is exactly like him. he's not polite, he doesn't understand social situations at all, he makes the same mistakes over and over and over again. the only thing that leo (my ex) didn't show me was a type of obsession over something. my child on the other hand has all the signs of aspergers and i'm having trouble getting him diagnosed with any type of disorder that i feel he has. they've diagnosed social anxiety disorder, but i know they're wrong. it's a long process, gah!!

April - posted on 12/13/2010

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Anyway...i absolutely believe your soon to be ex could have AS. i believe it because i know in my heart that my dad has ADHD. Back in the 50's when he was in school...there was no such thing. As an adult in his 50's now...he cannot sit still through an entire tv show...even his favorites. he is a genius who knows all the answers in jeopardy, even the hardest ones....yet couldn't finish college. he couldn't focus. and when people talk to him, sometimes it is obvious that you lost him somewhere along the way.

Your story has that feeling to me...that "something is off and i can't quite put my finger on it, but i know something is different!" It's like my dad!!

April - posted on 12/13/2010

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You should read "House Rules" by Jodi Picoult. She is known for several books that later became movies, such as "My sister's Keeper" , "The Pact", and "The 10th Circle". House Rules is about a young boy who is arrested for murder...he had Asperger Syndrome and his favorite subject is crime scenes. He is always talking about crime scenes and even has a police scanner so he gets to the scene at the same time as the police. It is an interesting book!

Sharon - posted on 12/12/2010

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It happens a lot with this guy. like I said, I feel badly for him. Is he a sicko? Does he have asperbergers? I really think its most likely asperbergers but good lord? How do you approach someone about that?

I know that my brother would NEVER stnad and be labeled as autistic.

I really think this guy needs help or needs to be killed off to protect the rest of humanity. But as his boss? DAMN its impossible to address.

Katherine - posted on 12/12/2010

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Yeah I've encountered those people where you're just like what the FUCK, are you saying??????

Stifler's - posted on 12/12/2010

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I had a friend with alleged Aspergers who was like that. She used to ask my boyfriend out and stuff, and we'd be at church and she'd go "OMG HAVE YOU EVER HAD SEX!!". It was weird.

Sharon - posted on 12/12/2010

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You know? I work with a guy I suspect has aspergers.

But I'm just not certain.

Is it asperbergers?

Is he just an asshole?

Is he a creepy son of a bitch who says sexually inappropriate things to virtually anyone? Yeah. He tells strange women, modeling their clothes in front of a mirror "you look hot" and he does it in this fuckdorf way that freaks them out. I can't remember what led to it, but in the end he suggested a coworker was looking into penis pumps for her 12 yr old kid. He can't stop staring at large tits. He thinks he has a snowballs' chance in hell with some of the hottest women that work at the store (they're half his age and have better prospects than 40 something balding, paunchy, uber lanky with no grace fuckdorf).

I feel badly for him. He needs a job, but he gets the fewest hours because he creeps everyone out. He's on the verge of being homeless. He's got an exwife, he's got a daughter and yet he seems disassociated from them.

He asked for my advice once. Apparently he likes some woman at his church. How could he make her see that she actually does really like him, and thats good enough? Because after all, her biological clock is ticking and she hasn't got many more chances at a relationship.

REALLY DUDE???? WTF? Seriously, I thought my head was going to explode.

And apparently ONCE, at least myself, him and another co-worker were in the breakroom chatting and I said "you're cute." I was then cornered and grilled, by him, as to what could that have meant. OMG it was so long ago I have no idea in what context I said it. I might have said trying to play off yet another of his weird comments.

ugh now i have a headache.

Katherine - posted on 12/12/2010

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@ Sharon, you always put things into perspective.

"Could it be that he's just an asshole?"

YEP

Krista - posted on 12/12/2010

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Possible. I went to college with a fellow who really seemed to have absolutely no social skills whatsoever. He just had no idea how to act around people, and would only ever talk about politics (his obsession), to the point where people would be begging him to change the subject.

Sharon - posted on 12/12/2010

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You ever wonder if they're just assholes?



Nah my brother fits all of those. We've figured for years he probably had some sort of autism - asperger, most likely.



As a toddler they just called it retarded... but he went to a REALLY progressive center and they knew it wasn't true retardation. They gave him & us, tools to use through out his life to deal with him and train him to social situations. pretty amazing.



Edited to change "was" to "wasn't" they knew it wasn't true retardation.

Tracey - posted on 12/12/2010

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There was a questionnaire I filled in for my daughter who is borderline Aspergers.
www.childbrain.com/pddassess.html It might give you some idea.

Nikki - posted on 12/12/2010

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It's very possible, back in the day it was just not diagnosed as it is today, so many people slipped through unnoticed. I know a woman a little older than me that was diagnosed later in life, 35 I think.

Stifler's - posted on 12/12/2010

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I meet some of those criteria! Especially the one that's like "how long can I talk about my favourite subject".

Katherine - posted on 12/12/2010

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I just wonder because he does act so inappropriately. He also does the same things in social situations and has embarrassed the hell out of me.

[deleted account]

Hey, it's very possible. My FIL meets a lot of this criteria. He's pretty hard to handle in a social situation. On many occasions, he has randomly brought up Christianity in the most unsuitable of instances. For example, one of my hubby's friends and his friends were talking about Halo and out of nowhere my FIL walks up and tells them it's wrong to play that game because aliens don't exist because God didn't make them. One of the guys reacted quite hideously and had either my husband or I been there to hear it he would have left the conversation with a bloody nose, but alas...

I don't agree with my FIL on a lot of things, but I'm certainly not going to call him stupid or ignorant because his beliefs are different. ESPECIALLY since he's more than twice my age! What happened to respecting your elders? Ugh! The situation just pisses me off.

But hubby's dad doesn't understand how to act in a social situation. You don't just walk up to a group of people and tell them that what they're doing is wrong because you think it's wrong. You keep your thoughts to yourself. But my hubby and I both know it's not easy for him to realize this before he does it.

So I'd guess he has AS. He hasn't been tested and probably wouldn't agree to it because he's that kind of person, but I'm sure my hubby would say the same.

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