Dad buys son blow up doll

Amie - posted on 03/01/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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by Tom Henderson (Subscribe to Tom Henderson's posts) Mar 1st 2010 3:00PM
I gave my 13-year-old son a Playboy magazine and an inflatable sex doll.

And it wasn't even his birthday.

Wow. My T-shirt is right. I am the World's No. 1 Dad.

Some of you don't look convinced. In fact, some of you look like you just got a mouth full of Novocaine. I can see your jaws dropping from here.

Don't judge. Unless you're raising the Boy in the Plastic Bubble, your teenage son has seen pictures of nude women -- if not in Playboy, then in some other magazine or on the Internet.

They were likely shown to him by another hormonal teen. At least I could talk about the images with my son, explain that women in real life aren't airbrushed and given several coats of varnish.

Thank God.

I am an unapologetic liberal feminist who took women's studies in college and wants to be Gloria Steinem when I grow up. As turn-ons go, I prefer the women who write for Mother Jones over the ones who pose for Maxim.

Leafing through Playboy, my son and I talked about how women (especially young women) are reduced to objects. Never mind their thoughts and feelings. They are pieces of meat to be drooled over and conquered.

If you conquer a lot of them, you're a "stud." If a woman conquers an equal number of men, she's a "skank" or "ho."

Son, meet the double standard.

We also talked about how pornography's obsession with perfect young bodies not only perpetuates a false standard of beauty but also promotes a certain form of pedophilia. See Hugh Hefner, an 82-year-old pervert who has aged about as gracefully as the Crypt Keeper, who uses his money and status to have sex with women young enough to be his great-granddaughters.

Men like that lead women to believe their only value to the world is their vaginas. And that's flat-out sick and wrong.

Women are put on sexual display throughout our society, usually as a means of selling something. I told my son it's OK to be aroused by such images. They are calculated to carbonate male hormones. Just know that some very scummy people are pulling your strings.

Now about that blow-up doll.

My son, like so many boys his age, was a mite confused about the female anatomy. Don't worry. I won't go into details. Let's just say the boy thought there was one big multipurpose room in the basement.

Someone needed to set him straight. I'd rather that person be me than Eddie Haskell , the jerk in home room.

I believe in being explicit, leaving no unanswered questions or lingering doubts. So I got a $20 inflatable sex doll and guided him like Lewis and Clark through the undiscovered country. Then, I hasten to add, the doll was quickly discarded.

So was the magazine.

I further to hasten to add that my son was absolutely perplexed why anyone would find either of those items suitable surrogates for interaction with actual living, breathing, thinking, feeling woman.

Such products are for brief educational purposes and cautionary tales only.

"At 13, you are on the edge of manhood," I told him. "You need to decide what kind of man you want to be." Men who buy sexist, exploitative garbage have to ask for it at the counter while women give them the stink eye or park secretly in the rear of "adult stores" and "gentlemen's clubs."

"Listen to me," I told my son. "No one even vaguely resembling a mature adult goes into an 'adult store,' and no real gentleman would be caught dead in one of those clubs."

I told him he should be the kind of man who can walk in the front door of any business in plain view of the street and wouldn't care if his sister, mother, grandmother or best female friend knew what he was buying.

He seemed to understand. We have lots of good father-son talks, he and I.

Nothing is taboo. The only dangerous topics are the ones that are censored and turned into tantalizing forbidden fruit.

My one rule is that serious talks require serious words. Sex organs will be called by their scientific names. Not Prince Everhard of the Netherlands. Not Squirmin' Herman the One-Eyed German. That said, I will explain the meaning of any slang tern -- even if I often have to Google it myself.

That is my policy. And I am proud to say it works. I am raising a very sensitive, polite, mature and intelligent young feminist who despises pornography and respects women. There's nothing they two of us can't discuss.

Even if sometimes he pushes the envelope.

"Dad, why do some people like to have sex wearing handcuffs?"

Yikes!

http://www.parentdish.com/2010/03/01/hey...

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Um wow. While I agree with this Dad's philosophy, mostly. I do not agree with his methods. You can teach your son to not sexualize or objectify women without the Playboy. You can teach them all about a woman's body without the blow up doll.

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Lindsay - posted on 03/01/2010

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Honestly, I love what he did. Taking the taboo out of it takes away so much of the mystery of it all. And I don't really see a problem with him using the magazine and the doll because he used them to get his point across, to educate him and them they were gone. Had he left them there, it would have seemed strange to me but just letting his son learn the female anatomy seems like a pretty positive thing. I think I'd have to give this father an A+ for creativity! =)

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Jocelyn - posted on 03/01/2010

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I'm fairly open about everything, but I don't think I would have the guts to do what he did. Well, I could handle the playboy, but not the blowup doll. But, men are different. They learn different, they teach different, they bond different. For a father/son sex talk, I think he did a really good job. I've delegated my sons sex ed to his father (lol) and I'll do our daughters. I guess using a blow up doll as a prop would be no different that using a dildo as a prop (but the dildo would be more anatomically correct :P )

Amie - posted on 03/01/2010

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Here's the thing.... $20 blow up doll. It's not going to have anything of pertinent information. If you want to teach a pre-teen or teen about a woman's anatomy buy a book or draw a picture. Blow up dolls don't contain the information needed, well the really expensive ones would I imagine but we're not debating those.

And yes I asked my husband about this. He's surprised any father would think it's a good learning tool. He's seen them, a lot of his friends have, bachelor parties, gotta love 'em. LOL

Playboy is not a learning tool either. From a legal stand point, it's wrong. Finding your dad's stash of nudie mags is one thing, supplying them (for any reason) is a really sticky situation.

JL - posted on 03/01/2010

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I found this funny and interesting. I agree with the dad's philosophy and I am glad that he is raising a son to respect women for who they are and not what they sexually have to offer. I would not take the same route as him and buy and playboy and a blow up doll but sometimes props work better for some kids.



I don't know I don't see a huge problem with it. Heck it is better than the sex talk my husband got from his dad...which went, "Boy, I know your young, dumb, and full of cum, but use a condom." Yep that was the extent of it and his mother just simply told him to not have sex until marriage. Thankfully he took sex ed. classes in school.

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