Dad's would rather be SAHM'S

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Stifler's - posted on 06/21/2011

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Damo just thinks that being a SAHD would be the same as the weekend, he doesn't realise that having 2 parents home is much easier than being here alone with both kids.

Katherine - posted on 06/21/2011

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I feel the same way Holly. I want to work for respite actually and to support myself and the kids. I have to now that I'm going through a divorce. But even when I wasn't I still felt the need to work.

[deleted account]

This is actually something my hubby and I have talked about a lot. I am back in school to get my degree and *hopefully* someday I can get a job that will support our family and he will stay at home with the kids. He hates that he has to work so much to support us right now (and if I got any type of job outside the house daycare would cost more than I would make, so it's just not worth it), but that's the way it has to be for now...



Edited to add: he would be great at it too. My hubby is great with our kids (though he does have a bit of an X-Box obsession... but no more than my CoMs one! lol). I would honestly rather be working all day because I like feeling productive in society and, while I know raising my kids is th emost important job I will ever do, I feel like I'm just not at my full potential... I guess it's just how I am...

Katherine - posted on 06/21/2011

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My ex thought I had it made. He thought all I did was sit home and eat bon bons all day long. He never even would "practice" it to see what it would be like. Now he has them on the weekends and can't handle the LO. He never wants her to stay the night because she might "wake up" in the middle of the night *gasp*
He'll never get it. He used to tell me all sorts of shitty things.
I had a roof over my head, if it wasn't for him we'd be broke because *I* don't work etc, etc.....

Hence the reason he is my ex.

Shannintipton - posted on 06/21/2011

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My hubby thinks being a SAHM is a sham. I say go for it. tee hee

Charlie - posted on 06/21/2011

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Jamie wants to be a SAHD and he would be fantastic at it !

He has no romantic notions about a fluffy life he knows exactly what it is the only problem is he brings home more money than I can otherwise I would swap.

Firebird - posted on 06/21/2011

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My ex always says that he'd love to a stay home dad, but he's under the very mistaken impression that our daughter is never anything but an angel. He doesn't pay attention to anything about her Autism, can't even name her diagnosis or the meds she's on for her epilepsy even though I've told him a million times, so I get nervous when he simply takes her for a weekend!

After 5 days in his care over the winter, she was showing signs of regression. He can make sure she's fed, clean, dressed and played with, but that's all. He just lets her do whatever she wants while he plays video games, doesn't put her to bed at any sort of reasonable time. He can't be bothered to help with or even ask about any of her interventions. When we were still together, on my sleep in days, I'd get out of bed around noon to find he hadn't fed her breakfast! (That changed real quick) Which is why she lives with me. If he tried to do everything right by her, he wouldn't last a week in my shoes! It is not as easy as it looks, and he simply doesn't pay enough attention to what I do to realize that.

Jodi - posted on 06/21/2011

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My husband loves the idea of it. But I tell you, he wouldn't succeed. He won't play Barbies.

Stifler's - posted on 06/21/2011

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If my husband stayed home he'd probably get by but nothing would get done. He'd play with the kids and watch tv all day and never do any laundry or cook anything.

Lady Heather - posted on 06/21/2011

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My husband always said he'd like to do it, but it turns out he maxes out at 3 days alone with her before he starts to want to do something else. He also gets really frustrated with her whining and can't stand any sort of playing that involves making a mess. He can't make dinner and watch the kid.

He's a really good dad, but I don't think he'd be really happy staying home all the time. He could if he had to, but I think he's discovered he's better off working and leaving me to do the at home stuff. I don't think either of us have it easier than the other. Our jobs are just different and we are suited to the jobs we have. I couldn't do his job. I'd have no interest in it and I know I'd be irritated and tired all the time. He finds it really interesting. Best to stick with what you're good at I guess.

I know some dads who have done it quite successfully though. It takes an extra patient sort of guy. Maybe this is a broad generalization, but I don't think most men are as patient as women tend to be. My tolerance for crazy is so much higher and I notice the same thing amongst most of the couples I know.

Amanda - posted on 06/21/2011

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My husband once said to me, that he felt if I get a job that pays as much as he gets paid, he would like to be a stay at home dad.



So I gave him a taste of what its like to be me, for a weekend I followed him around and had him do everything I do in a day.



After the weekend was over, he told me to slap him the next time he thinks its a good idea to be a stay at home dad.

Merry - posted on 06/21/2011

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So the dads in the study want to be stay at home parents, but not do car pools diaper changes and laundry?
Well then they don't really want to be dads, they want to be lazy bachelors again!
Matt knows I have it harder then he does, he says so a lot. And he hates leaving to go to work because he feels guilty leaving me all alone to care for the kids by myself. He knows he has the easy end of the deal.
He says the worst part is missing us and worrying I'm working so hard, but he enjoys his job and enjoys the break enough to realize I have the harder day, especially cuz my day doesn't end with sundown.....

April - posted on 06/21/2011

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i don't think one day of being a SAHD would be enough for them to truly understand that it is not easy. if i wanted to show my husband what it's like, i would insist on him taking over the role for a full week. he'd also have to do everything that i do that he normally doesn't do (i'd make him a list so he wouldn't "forget" anything)!

Lissa - posted on 06/21/2011

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My husband and I did share being the stay at home parent and if he hadn't been so pitiful that first week I would have laughed for hours. He honestly thought that with an 9 yr old, 2 yr old and an 8 month old he'd be getting one of to school, tidying up a bit, reading and having tea and all by 10am lol. He had no idea the physical and emotional exhaustion, the inability to have even one minute for yourself, peeing alone :) After the first week he asked me how the hell I did it when he worked away from home 5 days a week. It was really hard for me but I had to let him get on with it make his own mistakes and figure it all out for himself and you know what he did. Our youngest is now 5 and my husband actually knows what is important to them. He knows who they sit beside at school, which kids are a bit mean, who their friends are, he knows who has fallen out with whom and why etc. He will say it was like looking after blood curdling hell bound drunken midget zombies...(he means that lovingly...I think). Honestly though after getting over the initial shock and figuring out how to make it work, he loved it. My children feel a really secure bond with their father and a certain confidence I really think comes from him being their main carer at a young impressionable age. He encouraged them to try new things and as he says teaching them the only thing scary under the bed is what you left there yesterday :)
The whole experience has taught him a lot but more importantly all that time with Daddy has taught our son that grown up men look after children, take responsibility and hug you when you need it, they can listen and be emotionally responsive. I hope it taught our daughter not to settle for an arse because there are proper grown up men out there.

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