Dad Shoots Teen's Laptop

Mrs. - posted on 02/10/2012 ( 217 moms have responded )

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http://www.thestar.com/living/article/11...





Some of you may have seen the guy shooting up his 15 year old's laptop for publishing a disrespectful note about her parents on facebook. What are your thoughts? Is it crazy, too much? Or does it seem like something you or your own parents probably would have done in his place?

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Jodi - posted on 02/15/2012

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"Kids these days feel there intitled to everything"



Okay, I just want to address this comment. It's not just kids THESE days who feel entitled. Teens of EVERY generation tend to be self-centred and entitled. I am of a totally different generation, and I will happily put my hand up and say that I had moments where I was a self-centred brat at that age too. If I ask my mother, who was a teen in the 50's, she would say she was the same. So this is not unique to this generation of teenagers.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 02/10/2012

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I'm not sure how firing a gun in an open feild right into a computer is dangerous. There weren't any bystanders and since the gun was aimed at the ground with the correct calliber of bullets and everything it wasn't 'dangerous'.

Mary - posted on 02/16/2012

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Karla, I don't disagree with you. In fact, I get the feeling that you are probably a mother very similar to my own, and what I am trying to be with my child. I sincerely hope that when Molly is a teen, I am able to remember just how acutely and intensely you feel things at that age. However, I also remember just how impulsive and irrational I could be at that age as well.



Laura, your supposition that Hannah Jordan's behaviors (and speech) is automatically a reflection of her parents is way off-base. Often times, you can have the most perfect of role models for parents, and their kids turn out almost the exact opposite. For example, my own parents never used profanity. By the age of 15 (and still today) fuck was one of my favorite words. Now, I was typically smart enough to not use it in front of them, but when conversing with my friends...you would have thought I'd been raised in a prison.



At that age, I was hell-bent and determined to be almost the exact opposite of what my parents were. It wasn't that I didn't love and, underneath it all, respect them. It wasn't that they didn't treat me with respect and understanding. I just wasn't capable of fully understanding all of the actual or potential repercussions of my words and actions. I certainly did not appreciate fully the wisdom of my parents until I was an independent adult, living on my own. I can look back now and say with absolute certainty that the vast majority of my mistakes and transgressions were not because they were things that were modeled after the actions or words of my parents. Most often, they were in direct opposition to things they would have done or said.



The poor behaviors of a child are not always the result of poor parenting. A child who is mouthy, ungrateful, disrespectful or whatever is not always a direct reflection of their parents.



As to the efficacy of Tommy Jordan's parenting...well, the jury is still out on that one, isn't it? I think we are all entitled to our opinions on his response to his daughter's act of rebellion. I think it fair that some of us say it's "wrong", or a method we would never employ ourselves. What we cannot know, with any degree of certainty, is how it will impact his kid, or even how it will affect their relationship.

Jodi - posted on 02/15/2012

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Um, where did anyone say anything about her having to "repay" anyone for giving her life? It's not even like her chores were a big deal.



And Laura, teenagers in general are selfish entitled brats. It's just a stage. It's not okay, but it doesn't mean anyone made them like that. MANY teenagers have been like that for generations. It's the way they think and the way their brain works. Having a bratty teenager (like the one in the video) doesn't make you a bad parent, it just makes your child normal. All teenagers have bratty moments. I know mine does. That doesn't make me a bad mother. It is all part of a natural "pushing" the boundaries that every child goes through - some push harder than others, but they all do it, at this age in particular.



My teenager also curses. I've overheard him. That doesn't make me a bad mother either. Heck, I NEVER heard my parents say fuck before I was in my 20s, but I still said it. Heard of peer group influence, Laura? Where do you think the majority of a teenager's influences are coming from at that age?



Teenage sense of entitlement comes from that confusing time where they are trying to find that balance between when they were a child, and the sense of feeling like an adult. 100 years ago, they WOULD have been an adult and working in an adult world, but now, they are not, but our hormones haven't changed. It is perfectly normal.



When you are closer to being a teenager than raising a teenager, I guess it is very easy to stand up for the teenager and blame her parents for her attitude. Have a look at this question 10 years from now, when you are raising a teenager yourself, and you will probably see it in a whole new light.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 02/10/2012

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I guess it doesn't phase me because I could picture my mom or dad doing that. Except my dad would've used a rifle and not have posted it on Youtube.



Just because someone uses a fire arm on an inanimate object doesn't automatically make them the type of person who would snap at a moment's notice and over react to everything. We just know that she'd posted a rather rude and untrue account of her life and her parents and step mom on facebook. We don't know what else the daughter did before her father shot the laptop. She could've stolen the family car and done a few other things before the facebook post.

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Kathy - posted on 12/14/2012

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I thought it was a little over the top…but also funny.

This is an old debate, so I won't go to into it….

I do think public humiliation is a bad thing (in general), but people can be pushed too far, it is useful lesson to learn, and shooting a laptop is hardly the most horrible parenting moment.

Bobbi Jean - posted on 12/13/2012

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Shotting it was extreme. I wouldn't have done that, but I surely would have taken it away.

Erin - posted on 07/06/2012

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As long as it was shot outside the house I see no problem with it. It's a bit over the top but hey it's his right. Kids have to much leeway and get coddled to much. They don't have the right to a computer, or ipod or cell phone. The have the right to do what they are told they can do. I wouldn't put up with my kids wiritng disresepct either but I probably wouldn't shoot the computer.

Dalia - posted on 07/05/2012

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In my opinion, this is a very irrational response to a manageable issue. It sounds as if there are some anger issues represented by the parents. We all get angry at times, but there is a strong need to keep composure. We are the ones that our children look to first and foremost in terms of behavior (what is acceptable and what is not). They are watching and absorbing especially in the moments you think they aren't and don't care. Do we as parents have weak moments...SURE, who doesn't. But this reaction is completely overboard and teaches their already frustrated daughter a horrible lesson.
Children act out for many reasons, but sometimes they simply want to be heard. Here is a helpful link for frustrated parents who wish to fix bad behavior of their children:
http://13e3d-62q7kp525shzmgt30l9c.hop.cl... - this is a guide for parents to stop bad behavior. It is definitely better than taking a gun to whatever tool or toy your child loves most.

Christina - posted on 03/26/2012

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i would have shot the computer too. that kid was ungreatful as hell just like my kids are. but then again my kids dont have computers and the one that is allowed on the computer i have access to her fb. if the dad wanted to do that after spending all that money to fix her computer oh well let him be pissed at himself for having to replace more now.

Tracy - posted on 03/26/2012

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Why shoot the poor laptop it didn't do anything. All we taught the girl is that when you are really angry you shoot something. Wonder if that's really what he wanted to teach her? He really did waste all of the money and time he put into the computer, but does he realize it or does he still blame his daughters behaviour. All of our kids get snarky and uppity, we do so of course they do.



Ever had a bad day and vented to your best friend. We have to remember, for todays teens, FB and Twitter are their friends. That is how they vent to each other and the whole world. They don't see the difference between posting on the sites and our having coffee or a glass of wine with a friend and venting,



The whole thing, from my own personal point of view, was mishandled. Dad was angry and over-reacted, daughter was ticked off and over-reacted with her post. Both need to take time and really start listening to each other, My daughters hate doing anything around the house and it ticks me off too. They lose computers and all sorts of freedoms and if they continue to not help, well, I got smart and took their allowance and used it to pay for cleaning person. They stopped complaining and started helping. Either way, I didn't have to clean up after them or foot the bill, they did. Too often we take on all of the responsibilities and it overwhelms us.

Kids are the same way. Peer pressure is a nasty thing and it can make good kids lash out at great parents.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 03/26/2012

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I support him too Sherri... undoubtedly...

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 03/26/2012

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Karla--



I whole heartily agree. Him being in IT, he can't be that stupid. Of course anything, especially this, is going to go viral. He obviously is either not that intelligent OR he is trying to make excuses for the reaction that came out of it. ;)

Karla - posted on 03/26/2012

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meme "All parents SHOULD know this, unfortunately not all do. Many parents have no idea how to use the internet properly. However, this guy, most definitely does. I do believe he has told her several times, since he works in the IT field."



In quotes from Tommy Jordan after the fact he says did not know it would go viral. Really? A dad lecturing his daughter and putting 6 slugs in her laptop and he didn't know it would go viral? As much as he may be an IT guy, I don't think he was that well educated on what goes viral on youtube, I suppose he is now.



"meh" is right.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 03/25/2012

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Karla---Yes, I suggest you let her freeze all day, it's a natural consequence. Does you 15 year old have a recess? At 15 my kids did not go outside at all during the school day, and the school would not have commented about their lack of coat - it's an age of learning things the hard way and natural consequences are often the best way to learn.



Yes, my daughter gets a morning recess and a lunch recess. She also takes the school bus of which is 2 blocks away from our house.



A friend of mine had gone to work one day and her son (age 15) decided to walk to school with shorts and a t-shirt on while it was -10 out. She got a call from the school telling her, that she either come and get her kid OR they would have him escorted home by the police. They also told her if it happened again, they would have to call child welfare.



This happened to my friend 5 years ago. My daughter decided to leave her coat at -15, 6 months ago. I was NOT going to have this happen to me. Perhaps it is different where I live. They do not put up with much here when it comes to children. I am totally for natural consequences UNTIL they will affect me. ;)



I recall being a teen. I recall going out to school in 15-20 below weather, with my hair wet and not wearing a coat. I did it over and over and over again. Why? Because it was not cool to wear a coat. Was I freezing? I surely was. I didn't learn to wear it though. It was more important to be cool.



I agree, we will have to agree to disagree. Since it does depend on your relationship with your child and how you engage the method. It works very well with my daughter. However, she is a very confident young lady. It is also not a routine method of mine. Which once it becomes routine, it is then classified as abuse. I have friends within child welfare. They commended me on my tactic with the coat ordeal. ;)



I do wonder how it really affects her, it being seen by 31 000 000 people. I mean seriously she knows a very small percentage of these people. She will never ever meet them, they will never ever meet her.



The only thing I think is wrong, is that her name and his have been published world wide. That is a big no-no, she will need to find a job someday. It will follow her for years. So, I agree there. It will have a bigger outcome than I think he intended. Leave the names out people. ;)



Karla---Again, I tell my KIDS when they put something on the internet it's reaches more people then if you had put it on a Billboard - ALL PARENTS should KNOW THIS.



I agree 100%. All parents SHOULD know this, unfortunately not all do. Many parents have no idea how to use the internet properly. However, this guy, most definitely does. I do believe he has told her several times, since he works in the IT field. Teenagers, just to do not believe it will happen to them. I feel he did not try hard enough during his other attempts. As, I know my daughter would think twice or triple before doing such a thing. Since the law has already been laid if she ever does and she has been heavily educated on the use of a PC. I have a feeling that all his other attempts failed because he did not follow through each time but, I have no way of proving such an accusation. Meh.

Karla - posted on 03/24/2012

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MeMe:



To call your child out in public is NOT dysfunctional parenting.



My definition of "call your child out" is different then my definition of public humiliation. Public humiliation is dysfunctional parenting whether you want to hear it or not.



Nor is it a good idea to let things slide or just have a "talk" all the time, everything has it's place. Sometimes a teenager requires being shown how "something" feels before they actually get it.



I rarely let it slide, and I always have a talk. I know my kids well enough to know they would respect me LESS and listen to me LESS if I behaved like Tommy Jordan. Quite frankly, if my parents handled discipline like Jordan does I would have had very little respect for them as well.



Do you suggest I should have let her freeze all day?



Yes, I suggest you let her freeze all day, it's a natural consequence. Does you 15 year old have a recess? At 15 my kids did not go outside at all during the school day, and the school would not have commented about their lack of coat - it's an age of learning things the hard way and natural consequences are often the best way to learn.





If you are yelling at them, spanking them while pulling their pants down, treating them as if they are idiots. Then you are abusing them. If you are simply stating the truth and the obvious in a mature manner, then you are simply letting them know you are on to their game and they need to knock it off....




So you are telling me that a broadcast of the punishment was NOT trying to make her look inferior, or trying to over power her, or calling her an idiot?



Again, I tell my KIDS when they put something on the internet it's reaches more people then if you had put it on a Billboard - ALL PARENTS should KNOW THIS.



I do not disagree with anything he said, or the fact that she lost her laptop (again - I would not recommend destroying the thing) but it did not need to be done in public - the You Tube video now has 31,000,000 hits. If that's not an unbalanced amount of public humiliation I don't know what is. By posting on-line, she was being immature and so was he.



Meme, on public humiliation in general we will have to agree to disagree.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/23/2012

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Karla, as I plainly stated, I've seen vids that he's posted that are NOT on youtube. I do NOT have access to these, as they are on an account held by my husband, and I will not offend him by asking for his password.



If I could, I would. But, I assure you, there IS vid that exists that shows MORE of his property than what you are seeing in the one that you linked. Which is where I come by the statement that he is in a perfectly safe area.



But.thank you for clarifying which post you were referring to as far as the "basis in fact".

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 03/23/2012

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Karla---

I was referring to parenting methods, aka harsh punishment, humiliation, etc. Being permissive or punitive in parenting is not recommended and many studies have been done to show the negative affects of dysfunctional parenting.



To call your child out in public is NOT dysfunctional parenting. I do it, I am far from dysfunctional. My daughter gets my drift quickly and deeply. I have not had to do it many times, it is also not my first approach. However, if she has been told already and she still decides to pursue, bet your bottom dollar I am going to let her know regardless of what setting we are in at the time.



I do not believe that everything must be done behind closed doors. Nor is it a good idea to let things slide or just have a "talk" all the time, everything has it's place. Sometimes a teenager requires being shown how "something" feels before they actually get it. A young child may get it by being talked to, a teen has the ability to tune you out. They often do not think about what their actions cause on another's feelings or to their own. Sometimes it is warranted to show them by example.



This girl was told nemerous times. She was punished before as well. I bet you she will never act this way again, now that she has been put in her place. It is appararent the father tried other methods. He simply gave her a dose of her own medicine.



The only time humiliation becomes abuse is when it is routine. A couple times in their life is not abuse. It is not a dysfunctional way of controling a situation. When I am out with my children and they act up, I am going to nip it in the bud right there. We are not going for a walk first.



For instance when my daughter deliberately left her coat at home, when it was -15 out. I went to her bus, jumped on and walked to her seat. I told her - in front of everyone- she had better never leave the house without her coat again. Do you suggest I should have let her freeze all day? Should I have went out of my way to drop it off at her school? If I had done either of those, it would have been trouble.



If I had let her freeze all day, I guarentee the school would've called me and told me it was unacceptable.



If I had dropped it off at her school, she would've learnt nothing. She may have done it again, knowing Mommy would bring it to her.



Forget that. She took off before I could get to her. It is not my issue she was already planted in the middle of peers.



I applaud this father for what he did. I just would not have wasted a perfectly good laptop, I had paid for. ;)



ETA:

It is one thing if you are humiliating them to over power them, to show them who is boss and to make them look inferior to you. That is wrong.



It is another thing to give them a taste of how it feels to be treated as they have treated you. Or to show them it is unacceptable to act a certain way in public.



If you are yelling at them, spanking them while pulling their pants down, treating them as if they are idiots. Then you are abusing them. If you are simply stating the truth and the obvious in a mature manner, then you are simply letting them know you are on to their game and they need to knock it off....

Karla - posted on 03/23/2012

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Shawnn,

This is the video from Tommy Jordan's youtube account that made me question where and when firearms are being discharged.

Karla - posted on 03/23/2012

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Shawnn,



Reading a book on parenting does not mean you "parent by book," it just means you're open to suggestions. Just as you take suggestions from your grandmother. Take it or leave it, I suggest Ross Campbell's books because his advice has greatly helped me ... and my grandmother passed away.



My grandmother and mother were both very open to suggestions, even from books. That doesn't mean my mom would do everything Dr. Spock suggested - thank god - but it does mean they knew they had room to grow as a parent.



ETA

Shawnn posts "I'm not sure which post you are referring to, that your opinion has a "basis in fact." If you'd care to provide what post, and what the basis in fact is, I'd appreciate it"



I was referring to parenting methods, aka harsh punishment, humiliation, etc. Being permissive or punitive in parenting is not recommended and many studies have been done to show the negative affects of dysfunctional parenting.



I could care less whether or not this man decided to destroy a laptop, I don't think it taught his daughter a lesson on valuing what we work hard for though. I do take issue with his use of a firearm to destroy the laptop, BUT what bothers me the most, is that he published it on the internet. I fail to see how behaving as our children do will teach them to stop doing their behavior (eta) and learn how to be mature; it's a very hypocritical parenting method.



You said sometimes you have to get down on their level, and I'm saying no you don't. I've read so many studies that support my view on this, and yes it comes from "sage advice" from my family as well.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/23/2012

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Karla, I just came across your response, and feel the need to address it.



Thank you for your recommendation of the book. I'll respectfully choose NOT to read it. We (my husband and I) don't parent by book, never have. We have raised our kids with our own discretion, sage advice from my dear grandmother, and plain common sense. Since our kids are doing fairly well in school, are very well mannered and respectful, and in addition respected in our community, I feel that my husband and I have chosen the appropriate method that works with our kids.



As with your responses, mine are also my opinion, which I did state earlier. Never once did I say anyone had to "believe" my opinion. They either agree, or not, there's nothing to "believe".



I'm not sure which post you are referring to, that your opinion has a "basis in fact." If you'd care to provide what post, and what the basis in fact is, I'd appreciate it. But, based on that statement, I can also say that my opinions are based in fact as well, as Tommy and my husband are members of the same forum online, so I've seen more than his youtube videos that you cite, so I can safely say that he doesn't take risks with his firearms and his neighbors. If those links weren't on a private forum, I'd be happy to share them, but I don't have my hubby's password.



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"Shawnn Lively: ”@Karla B: Sometimes, you have to get down to their level to get them to wake up. “



I’m sure some people believe your opinion, but I don’t. I’m currently in the midst of raising my 4th child who is 15. I have never believed that my behaving like a 15 year old (getting on their level) would be a good way to discipline a 15 year old.



I’m strongly recommending the book “How to Raise your Teenager,” by Ross Campbell to one and all.



"And, no one said you had to agree with him."



No one said I have to agree with him or you, or that you have to agree with me. This is a debate board, and I stated my opinion and quite frankly my opinion has basis in fact.



"I’ve watched the same videos that you have, and that’s basically a typical rural area. The neighbors aren’t close enough to be concerned about, especially since (in the vid in question) he’s firing at the ground."



Unless you have peripheral camera vision, which is impossible, you have no way of knowing what is on 3 sides of the camera view. In my state it is illegal to fire a gun within 500 feet of a residence. I judged based on other videos on his youtube account that he COULD very well be in a suburban area, not rural. I also don’t know that to be a fact, just as you don’t know for a fact that neighbors are not close."

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that dad had every right to do that. just watched the video. all that stuff she said, that was just complete immaturity and would not be acceptable in my parents' house or in mine. the guy had just spent $130 on PARTS for her laptop that he had ALSO bought and then finds that shit she wrote. i'd be livid too. she was an asshole for saying he should be paying her for all the "work" she does when he bought her a fucking laptop and the updates and new parts to upgrade it for her. the chores he said she has would NOT take her all damn night unless she pussy-footed around doing them. besides, bedtime at 10 is a great time for a teen going to school. she should be going to bed earlier than that if she has to wake up at 5 for school anyway.



i say kudos to the dad. besides, he saved the memory drive so that if she buys her own laptop she still has all her files, so he's not all bad. but seriously, if you're going to be living off of somebody, the very least you can do are the chores you are given. ugh, just makes me sick. can't stand kids who act so put-upon just because they have to earn something.

Julie - posted on 03/23/2012

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Way too extreme. I can see taking away the laptop for a period of time until the daughter learns to be more respectful of her parents, but why would you shoot up something that you spent all that money on? It's ridiculous.

Ivy - posted on 03/17/2012

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I say..it was a tad extreme but he had a registered firearm and it was in a field and he obviously knows how to use it properly..I personally hate guns but to each his own..as long they are safely locked up and the bullets locked in a separate place then he has every right to have the gun. She had done this before and taking it away did not work so he tried another approach...

Sue - posted on 03/16/2012

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Shot up computer. I probably would have taken every modern day pleasure and let her learn how easy those chores are now. No tv no radio no cell phone no mp3 no lights in bedroom then she may learn to appreciate not only what she has but respect along with it.

Brittany - posted on 03/13/2012

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If my child got on Facebook and was disrespecting me or her father I would have done the same thing. I would have blown it to heck and back.



She was mad because, she was asked to help around the house. In my childhood it was called CHORES! My kids have chores and they are 6, 5 and 4. They loved her enough to buy her her own laptop and let her have it in her own room, in which they pay for and she is going to embarrass and humiliate them on Facebook because, she did not want to help.



Not only would I have blown her laptop away, I would take ever possession that I bought her away. She would have her bed, one blanket and one pillow. She could do her homework at the dinning table. I would take her clothes and dress her every morning myself.



Many will think I am a bit excessive but, I have very well behaved children. They respect me, they respect their dad and they respect their home. It is not to often I have to get onto them because, they know I will take every worldly possession they own and trash it.

User - posted on 03/12/2012

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IMO I think it was a great video! I would've done the same thing & added that she also pay for the laptop that I shot out. Not just the software & bullets & new laptop.

Everyone is going to have their own opinions about how it was overboard & blah blah blah....but it's simple...he's the parent of that ungrateful girl & that was his choice & he has (had) every right.

Jennifer - posted on 03/10/2012

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If my daughter's were disrespectful and unappreciative in this girl's manner, they would definitely loose the laptop. I wouldn't have thought of shooting it, but I applaud the father. He is in a field, in a very safe place were no one is going to get hurt and firing at the laptop which is placed in the ground. It sends a strong message that this will not be tolerated and that he is willing to destroy this even with the hours and money that he put into it himself. It is important to teach our children responsibility. She choose to disrespect her parents on the computer, she looses the computer. Not taken away to be given back later, but gone.

Theresa - posted on 03/10/2012

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I enjoyed the video tremendously. As I watched it I got the feeling that the FB tantrum was the straw that broke the camel's back with this dad. I have two teenagers, and most of the time they're great, but once in awhile they can act so egocentrical and selfish, it makes me want to scream. Instead, I make them feel guilty and it works every single time, much better than screaming or demeaning them. I put on my "poor mom" hat, say how tired I am after working all day, talk about what they would do if I died, complain about my aching back, feet, headache. They apologize immediately and do what I ask. I walk away, with a smile and pat myself on the back for a job well done.... A mother's guilt is a powerful thing!!!

**Jackie** - posted on 03/04/2012

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Anne. YES. Sometimes moms come along and make a post that is only 2 or 3 sentences long and seem to nail what a lot of other moms are trying to put into words.



Well said!



My husband would probably do the same thing and if that makes him a redneck or a bit irrational well...I already knew that ;)

Anne - posted on 03/04/2012

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Right or wrong. He followed through with what he threatened after previous violations. That is the trouble today. No follow through.

Jodi - posted on 03/03/2012

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I think our alerts must be on the blink (or at least mine are). They say Karla B responded to this post about 15 times :P

Karla - posted on 03/03/2012

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Shawnn Lively: ”@Karla B: Sometimes, you have to get down to their level to get them to wake up. “



I’m sure some people believe your opinion, but I don’t. I’m currently in the midst of raising my 4th child who is 15. I have never believed that my behaving like a 15 year old (getting on their level) would be a good way to discipline a 15 year old.



I’m strongly recommending the book “How to Raise your Teenager,” by Ross Campbell to one and all.



"And, no one said you had to agree with him."



No one said I have to agree with him or you, or that you have to agree with me. This is a debate board, and I stated my opinion and quite frankly my opinion has basis in fact.



"I’ve watched the same videos that you have, and that’s basically a typical rural area. The neighbors aren’t close enough to be concerned about, especially since (in the vid in question) he’s firing at the ground."



Unless you have peripheral camera vision, which is impossible, you have no way of knowing what is on 3 sides of the camera view. In my state it is illegal to fire a gun within 500 feet of a residence. I judged based on other videos on his youtube account that he COULD very well be in a suburban area, not rural. I also don’t know that to be a fact, just as you don’t know for a fact that neighbors are not close.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 03/02/2012

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Oh Jackie, it all depends on who your mother is. In my house what I say goes. When I take a privilege away that's it, you are not getting it back until I said you would. You could make the house immaculate, do cartwheels and be on your best behaviour, doesn't matter, you aren't getting them back.



Another "rule" I have with the cell phone is if I call she'd better answer it. If she does not answer it I will be where she is and she will hear about it whether her friends are there or not, she also loses the phone. It is mine, I pay for it, she just get's to use it... I also have the phone account set up on the internet, so I can check to see if she has talked on it and how many texts she has used. She has unlimited texts but she knows it is NOT for talking on. She got the cell only because I want to be able to contact her when she is out (even though I always know where she is, I don't want to have to go get her if we have to leave for whatever reason), also so she can call me if she sleeps over at her friends and "needs" to come home.



What this guy did is exactly what I would have done, except for the gun part. Too expensive to do that and would be illegal in Canada but the laptop would be converted into MINE! Then I can have TWO! LOL



Sorry Shawnn but getting off topic happens, yet we really are still on topic. We are speaking of what disciplining we do and how it relates to the father in the OP. ;)



Example: My daughter JUST got her internet and TV privileges back after 6 weeks! She is now only allowed it on the weekends but she must first take care of her responsibilities (the way it always has been). Guess what she did? She was getting downstairs to get her boots on 5 mins too late (too late to me - she never missed her bus) everyday for a week or so. I had enough and that is what she got in return after being warned twice!



I do not yell, I do not spank but I DO discipline and I do it well and strongly.

**Jackie** - posted on 03/02/2012

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Also, I don't agree with teens being spoiled because they get cell phones and computers. When I was 13 my mom got me a pager (don't laugh, they were the cool thing lol) anyway, I remember her telling me that I had 2 minutes to call her back and if I didn't...she was coming to find me and that there would be hell to pay if I wasn't where I said I was going to be.



I remember getting a page from her (it was always 911 lol) and I ran like Forrest Gump to a pay phone and just made the 2 minute mark.



When I was 17 I bought and paid for my own cell phone. That did NOT mean it was mine. I was told I still lived in her house and it was her rules and just because I paid for it, doesn't mean she didn't control it and wouldn't throw it in the river. Same went for my lap top that I bought with my own money.



I was not spoiled at all. I was taught to work my ass off for things I wanted.

**Jackie** - posted on 03/02/2012

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I have already posted on this subject and it seems to be getting a bit off topic (as Shawnn said). I am going to point something else out.



When I was little and my mom would take away my nintendo or my radio I KNEW I was going to get it back. Just a little sweet talk and extra chores and it would be back probably before she intended. What this father did was hilarious. It's HIS laptop and he was allowed to do whatever he wanted with it. He was showing her that this type of lashing out is not tolerated.



Also, as I mentioned earlier, I liked that he had mentioned he talked to her mother about it and she concurred. By the use of the term stepmother, it was clear that her parents were divorced and the fact that this wasn't a knee-jerk reaction was also abundantly clear. He took the time to talk to her mother about it.



What would I have done differently? I would have made the video just as he did but in the end I would have showed a picture that I took of me handing it over to a Thrift Store or to a school maybe. Somewhere that needed it and would have had use for it.

Toni - posted on 03/02/2012

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I dont know if I would have shot this girls laptop, but I know if Facebook was around when I was a kid and I said disrespectful things about my grandmother (who I lived with) she would have done something similar.

Yes, alot of children these days are spoiled little brats, but that has a lot to do with parents as well. If you teach your kids to respect themselves and others and their belongings, then they wont be spoiled little brats. I think MeMe has a good idea going- restricting the phone to only txt and make emergency calls is a great idea.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/02/2012

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Wow, some are getting WAY too off topic now...

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 03/02/2012

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Yep - you are entitled to your opinion but maybe you should keep it just that. Rather than insinuate that all kids that have laptops and/or cell phones are spoiled. I take offense to that and obviously other's here do to. That, my dear, is not an entitled opinion; it is a grossly misinformed bias based on nothing but bullshit. ;)



Of course, at 15 my kids will not be having a laptop of their own, or a cell phone for that matter. Kids these days are spoiled, so what do you expect when you buy them everything they want??



I also bought my teenager these things for very particular reasons, NOT because she wanted them. My daughter does not use a laptop in school either, I did not say that. I said they need a PC because many projects in Junior High are done at home, where a PC is required. I am sorry but you are sadly misinformed... Good luck with all your "I knows and I won'ts". ;)



BTW - I also don't wear shorts, thanks for the poor advice anyhow... ;)



ETA: My daughter doesn't talk on her cell phone it is only used for texting and I have the internet blocked on it, so she cannot use that feature either...

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 03/02/2012

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Brenda, my 13.5 year old has her own laptop and cell phone. However, there are restrictions on both. My daughter does not get her laptop - which is stationed permanently in one place (attached to a monitor and keyboard) until she has earned it daily (by doing her chores and homework first). She has her cell phone but it must be turned in by 9pm every night (bedtime is 9:30pm) and cannot be at the kitchen table which is where she must also do her homework and we eat supper together at the table every single day. My daughter is NOT spoiled by any means. She is a very good girl and very respectful but I make sure of that, she is disciplined. She needs a PC for school work, since by the time they are in Junior High they need a PC at home for projects. She surely was not going to be using my laptop.



I feel that if you don't have a teen now, you really cannot comment on what you will do once they are teens. What you feel now will change I guarantee that.... ;)



ETA: Both get taken away if she doesn't follow rules in my home...

April - posted on 03/02/2012

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The guy is from close by here & I say yay for him!!! It's about time a parent took the bull by the horn's so to speak. Kid's now a day's are so disrespectful & expect things to just be handed to them & be paid for everything. When I was growning up, we had to say yes sir & no sir etc. Every Saturday we had chores to do before we could go outside & play, we didn't get paid to do them, our pay was a roof over our heads.

Danielle - posted on 03/01/2012

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Acing out with violence and controlling his anger are two separate things. kids today use facebook to be cool and bashing their parents is the cool thing to do. so the kids in healthy homes can fit in with the kids that dont have it all and reduces bullying. She obvisously can talk to her parents if this is only the second time she's rebelled. If he acted in violence it would of been her and not the lap top. He took his anger out on the laptop. there was control in his anger. he rook the time to think about his punishment. he made it clear on what she did and what he was going to do to prevent it.

JANICE - posted on 03/01/2012

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What kind of example was he teaching his child? If she did voice something publicly on facebook she obviously felt like she couldn't talk with her father about the situation. I feel like he acted out of impulse and hopefully after some time he will see that you don't react with violence to teach your child a life lesson.

Danielle - posted on 02/29/2012

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Weather most canadians think it's funny or not isn't the issue, I agree with the father kids today have no respect for anything at all. He used a gun on an object so why the upset it would be appauling if he shot her fingers for typing it in the first place. I was raised old fashioned so if you did the crime you did the time, if you stole not only did you get the belt you were dragged to your victim and made to deal with the consequences and I turned out fine a good slap on the rear, When i was bad did it too, I'm not saying go beat your kids but forcing them to deal with their actions isn't wrong unless you want to raise a brat that is so ignorant people politely just stop talking to you. I was spanked it didn't make me abusive in any way, If anything i didn't like it so i didn't do it again, I've spanked my son once for bad behaviour and he's not aggressive and mean and dis-respectful and he's going to be four and he more well mannered then teens today. Everyone deals with these problems there own way and i bet no matter how mad his daughter is about the laptop being shot, She'll learn not only the value of a dollar but the Value of respect. The Father never put her down, He never threatened her with the weapon or at all. He's right we shouldn't give our kids everything they want or what we didn't have growing up, Take a look around look at what we;ve created a whole generation that forgot how to live outside of a computer, kids who can't talk to their parents when they are angry, kids who don't care about anyone but themselves and really friends of kids like this girl, If she can tear down the people who care for her and do everything for her, What makes them think she hasn't done it to them on a less public note. I agree with the father b/c he took the anger out on an object and dealt with her calmy afterwards. And for the Gun control people like really it was like shooting a pop can off a fence. I hope you realize are soliders and officers have target practice as well.

Ganna - posted on 02/29/2012

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I don't see anything wrong with what he did. A gun is probably a regular part of his life style seeing as he lives in the country as do I. His daughter probably started shooting and hunting at an early age also it's just part of the norm when you are raised on a farm or ranch. He seemed to me to be a very respectable person the way he took up for the lady that helps around his house and was very disappointed in the behavior of his child. I don't think he promotes violence he was just getting his point across. I personally would have spanked her 15 year old butt with a hickory switch after shooting her laptop! Just sayin!

Marilyn - posted on 02/29/2012

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This topic got me very frustrated a few weeks ago when I originally heard about it. I absolutely Disagree with this fathers 'parenting techniques.' Trying to teach a lesson with violence is out of the question!



I was on another forum and stating my opinion and I got verbally attacked. I was blindly called offensive names for writing out intelligent responses. On a side note, ever notice that the people that seem to agree with this father resort to fowl language and name calling?



I've only read the first page of comments on this forum and I'm happy to see some level headed, caring people here on circle of moms that also disagree with the shooting of the laptop. I'm not gonna look through the pages of comments though where I might run into some frustrating comments.



I'm a progressive parent and I don't agree with this man shooting his daughter's laptop. He's completely ridiculous. His daughter was only venting. The father over reacted with violence. She's only going to learn from his behavior. He's teaching her that it's okay to embarass people and go around shooting things.



I will teach my children patience, understanding, and non-violence.

Tracie - posted on 02/29/2012

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If this is indicative of his day to day parenting, no wonder this girl is so anxious to get out from under his thumb. I do not foresee them having a close relationship when she's an adult. And he shouldn't be surprised when she takes a page out of his book and does something violent in response to something her children did that she didn't like. IMO, he didn't teach her anything except that grown ups can throw tantrums too. I wish them both luck.

Laura - posted on 02/29/2012

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While I don't agree that this was appropriate(although it was following through on promised consequences) or safe, I TOTALLY get it. I have had detailed fantasies about giving Dora a tracheotomy with a broken bottle...(my kids are younger, but same idea) We all think about doing something like this-you're lying if you say you don't-but doing it is another thing...violence begets violence, and shooting a laptop is pretty violent!

Teenagers act out, they say crappy things about their moms and dads-it's their biological imperative to separate themselves from their parents. While (I'm sure) immensely satisfying, this reaction was pretty out of whack.

Jodi - posted on 02/29/2012

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Shawnn, as I stated in previous posts, I feel that if that is his target range, it is incredibly unsafe. There are buildings in the background. No, this was not target practice, a) target practice is pointless if you're at point blank range, little to no skill required, target practice is used to acquire skill at distances. b) again, it is used to acquire accuracy, skill...target practice is not used as a punishment. And yes, guns do kill in the fact that they are an instrument used to kill. Obviously a human has to load them and pull the trigger, but if I hold my hand up in the air and pull an imaginary trigger...not gonna kill someone. I guess it's painfully obviously I need to be more clear...guns are weapons used for killing. Shouldn't need to be made clear...but obviously it is. Lastly, there are about 18 million other punishments he could have threatened her with, I would never threaten to shoot up someone's shit (including my own children's) if they didn't behave. So, if he had picked a more reasonable punishment (obviously this is IMO) he wouldn't have had to follow through on something so ridiculous.

Evelyn - posted on 02/29/2012

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I think dad went a little over the edge,he should have handle it a little better than.If I was his wife and child I be a afraid of him,

Stefanie - posted on 02/29/2012

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I have no problem with that. It qas a lesson for his daughter and her friends.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/29/2012

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Ok, now I HAVE read all nine pages, and I must address a few things:



@ Jodi Karshbaum: Dad WAS using the computer for target practice. And, furthermore, he’d already told his daughter that if she violated the rules again he would not take away her laptop, he would shoot it. IMO, NOT an improper use of a firearm, because as I said, it was target practice. Jodi, you’re a gun owner, as you’ve stated, and you can still spout off with that tired old adage that “guns kill”??? Are you quite serious? The firearm is the INANIMATE object that requires HUMAN INTERFACE in order to be operated. Guns DO NOT load, aim and fire themselves. And, no, what he is showing is that he set a punishment, and he followed through on said punishment.



@Tina Poulton: Nowhere in the 2nd amendment does it say that “man shall shoot nothing but animals and intruders”, so how is this abusing the right to own a firearm? He’s on his own property, he shot his own property. And, he’s not a hypocrite. He has already told this child that this will be the punishment for disregarding her previous punishments.



@ Megan Regnier: Spot on! I agree wholeheartedly.



@ Cathy S.: Thank you for more clarification! I had the same info, but couldn’t access it from where I am now.



@Karla B: Sometimes, you have to get down to their level to get them to wake up. Doesn’t mean that he does this every day, nor that it is the best method. But, the girl had been warned, and he followed through. She wanted to take it public, so he answered her publically. Personally, I believe that’s a great lesson for “If you don’t want the world to see your dirty laundry, don’t hang it out there”. I imagine that little miss “my parents are stupid slave drivers” is pretty embarrassed right about now, but I also be that she’s a LOT more respectful after seeing that her parents follow through on their stated punishments. And, no one said you had to agree with him. It certainly looks to me like you’re singling him out though. I’ve watched the same videos that you have, and that’s basically a typical rural area. The neighbors aren’t close enough to be concerned about, especially since (in the vid in question) he’s firing at the ground.



@ Sally, Yes, we know, you don’t think the gun was appropriate. You’ve stated that numerous times on one page. We understand, and that’s your right, to not like guns. However, the question was not directed towards just the gun, but the entire punishment. And, please, as I pointed out to Jodi, GUNS REQUIRE HUMAN INTERFACE. The gun itself does not decide when to fire, nor what to fire at. Oh, and how did Mum feel? You missed the part that said “Your mom asked me to put one bullet in for her, after the disrespectful way you’ve behaved”.



@ Kate CP: I love your video links! You get me rolling every time!



@ Jodi, my kids are behaving suspiciously well too...LOL...

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