Dance Moms (no not the horrid T.V. show)

Brittany - posted on 11/17/2011 ( 55 moms have responded )

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My daughter is in dance. She loves to dance, it is her passion.

Moms,

Do you ever think that your daughters costumes are too racy for her?

Her dance instructuor too demanding?

Tell me about your experience with dance!

NOTE:
The dance school my daughter attends is fantastic! Her instructor is amazing, I could never ask for anyone better. She picks age apporiate music, moves and costumes, at least in my opinion she does. She is very sweet, uplifting and smart.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Vicki - posted on 11/18/2011

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Rebecca sorry, I just have to laugh at your assumptions. I used to work for a dance company, as administrator/manager. It was a contemporary dance company, but the dancers were all ballet trained to varying degrees. They did NOT starve themselves AT ALL. They all ate fairly healthily, but they ate at least as much as me, and had whatever treats were going around. There was absolutely NO body hatred, dieting, trying to be thinner etc, being thin was just a by-product of their lives. Oh and one of them was nearly 6ft.

I trained, not to become pro, just as an interest but went through nearly all the senior exams. It is a cardio workout, as well as strength. I'd like to see anyone try the series of jumps that are required in any syllabus and not have a fast heart rate. When you finish and your teacher says 'ok we need to do that one more time with more elevation' then you've had a damn good workout.

It's entirely possible and healthy to train in ballet, contemporary dance, soccer or basketball just for the love of it and/or the exercise. I have a terrible turnout and not much extension, so it's unlikely I would never have made it had I attempted to be a professional ballet dancer, my strength was jumps. However I don't regret for a second all the training I've had, I'm a hell of a lot more coordinated than most adults I know, and well, it's fun and good exercise.

I'm not really cut out to be a mathematician, but I still studied algebra in high school, and I didn't even love it but no one said I shouldn't study it because I wasn't going to be pro. So if your daughter happens to love ballet, or soccer, what's the harm in going to lessons even if she doesn't turn out to be professional?

Having said all that I'm probably a bit prejudiced against my son doing rugby. I did first aid for awhile for junior rugby and those little boys get mashed.

Mrs. - posted on 11/18/2011

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Just thought I'd add...ballet is just the base. If your daughter wants to dance on stage, period, starting with ballet is one of the best ways to do that.

I have a friend who was a dancer since she was a little girl, she is over six foot now and has happily danced her ass off on the Broadway stage. None of this would have happened without ballet.

By the by, I've run races, swam competitively, been on soccer teams, weight lifted, biked, climbed mountains...you name it...ballet kicked my ass. In theatre school, I would dread going to those 7am ballet classes hung over from the night before because of the cardio aspect. Nothing like a little jete to make you barf last night's party out.

Dance is the hardest workout I've ever done and ballet makes me the most sore at the end of the day.

[deleted account]

Marina - My mom is a professional ballerina turned studio owner/instructor too! :) She danced in San Francisco and Berkeley before she had kids.



Saying that, I took dance since I was 5 (ballet, tap, jazz, lyrical, contemporary, etc. - I also taught the 3, 4, 5 and 6 year-old classes for 2 years and LOVED it!). We always had age appropriate everything (my mom has actually fired teachers before for using inappropriate songs in class). BUT, there are other studios in our area that did not. My mom's studio has had a lot of students transfer from other studios mid-year because of racy costumes and/or music. I would NEVER allow my children to wear anything I deemed inappropriate, dance or no dance. Just because it's a dance class does not excuse skimpy costumes, and there are plenty of adorable age appropriate costumes out there for little kids.

[deleted account]

I think Julie is flipping out due to a personal disaster in her family (read any post on parental nudity and you'll find it). :(

Anyway, I stayed away from this post before now cuz I'm not a dance mom. I AM a gym mom though... does that count. ;) We are at the gym 3.5 hours/week now. My 60 something pound almost 10 year old can piggy back a 150 pound guy! So... gymnastics is definitely awesome. lol

Vicki - posted on 11/18/2011

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Oh yeah I can be clumsy lol, but I can do a routine after being shown once.

Rebecca I think there are reasons for not doing ballet. It can be hell on your feet, the turnout position is unnatural and difficult for some people (hence why I prefer contemporary really), so I don't really have an issue with your choice as such. It was more the assertion that ballet isn't exercise, when it really truly is.

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MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 03/25/2012

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I took ballet for 6 years and then Jazz Dance for 4 years.



The costumes were very age appropriate. I really enjoyed it, until I turned to a pre-teen. My daughter did not take it as she was not interested.



Although, I think some teachers and dance can go to the extreme. It all depends on how you feel and how your child feels about the attire. ;)



ETA:

I think ballet, jazz, soccer, swimming and the alike are all wonderful sport. Although, I do not believe in competition. Therefore, I would allow my child to partake in pretty much any sport/dance, they would not be competing ever.



My husband wants our son to go into Hockey, I do not agree with Hockey, once "checking" becomes a part of it. He can partake until the "mean" parts are introduced, same goes for Football.



Some things are not appropriate IMO. If there is agression involved, no, it is not for my kids. If there is competition involved, no, not for my kids.

Zara - posted on 03/24/2012

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Hello, I love that my daughter is in dance, I think it builds not only body strength and flexibility but it is a great way for her to social and become confident about her self.

Angela - posted on 11/19/2011

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Ok maybe not the "most" but I think it's more on the side of not just being dance, it's mostly about wanting to do something and being told no, so if she did not have a interest then yes why force her into something that she would not have any interest in doing, I believe that you should let you children do somewhat ( somewhat being key word) of the things they like, something safe and positive as dance or any other extra cirricular activity, these things help gain self esteem and self respect and help children express themselves. Now as for football not being bias but that is a perfectbly understandable reason, especially in resent news postings on how overwhelming the number of head injuries have been reported has raised so much in high school football, and not only the raise of incidents but the coaches putting the kids back into the game so soon after to were they are risking there lives and future abilities as far as mobility, so I can agree with not wanting your boys to do that. On a side note, I myself was a tom boy, loved to get dirty and play in tree houses and do all the things the boys were doing, I was put in dance to help strengthen and help "correct" my legs due to being pigeon toed, I fell in love with it and even now I am tom boyish and even though I am not currently dancing I love and appreciate watching a recital and love the cultural world of ballet.

Corinne - posted on 11/19/2011

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Holly and Marina, had to LMAO about the lack of grace when not dancing. I'm exactly the same, my husband once said I had all the grace of a shot swan!

[deleted account]

Make that three...no idea what she is talking about.

@Angela -- I don't think you've experienced much in life if you think my decision to not let my daughter take ballet is the most heartbreaking thing you've ever heard. Seriously? How do you know she would even be interested in taking ballet? She may not be remotely interested in it (and considering that she has three brothers, there's a good chance she won't be interested in ballet because she's probably going to want to do what her brothers do).

Edited to add: I'm guessing the fact that I won't let her brothers play football because of the risk of a head injury is going to fall into the heartbreaking category as well.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/19/2011

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@ Julie...."PLEASE let's let our little girls be little girls.
Give them dollies and let them role-play ...
They grow up fast enough (I know - you've heard that too many times, but its true!)
TOYLAND TOYLAND
little girl and boyland...
...once you cross its borders
You can NEVER return again ... ♥ "

WHAT are you TALKING about?!?

Angela - posted on 11/19/2011

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Wow Rebecca this is probaly going to be my last post on this subject because it seems like your the type of person that has made up their mind and that is that , but I will say, to not allow your daughter to do something because of this that is very very sad.... that is the most heartbreaking thing I have every heard.

Heather that is sad that your PE teacher had that mindset, I was lucky enough that my highschool offered " dance gym" it was very cool to be able to go into my dance "rehab" in the middle of my school day. The biggest struggle was convincing my dance instructor that I would not let the school instructor to instruct me in bad habits!!

Angela - posted on 11/19/2011

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Wow Rebecca this is probaly going to be my last post on this subject because it seems like your the type of person that has made up their mind and that is that , but I will say, to not allow your daughter to do something because of this that is very very sad.... that is the most heartbreaking thing I have every heard.

Heather that is sad that your PE teacher had that mindset, I was lucky enough that my highschool offered " dance gym" it was very cool to be able to go into my dance "rehab" in the middle of my school day. The biggest struggle was convincing my dance instructor that I would not let the school instructor to instruct me in bad habits!!

Julie - posted on 11/18/2011

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PLEASE let's let our little girls be little girls.
Give them dollies and let them role-play ...
They grow up fast enough (I know - you've heard that too many times, but its true!)
TOYLAND TOYLAND
little girl and boyland...
...once you cross its borders
You can NEVER return again ... ♥

[deleted account]

Ditto Marina's comments... both of them! lol



I'm also horrendously uncorrdinated when not dancing - it's hilarious! :D

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/18/2011

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Vicki "I'm a hell of a lot more coordinated than most adults I know,"



LOL, I have absolutely no grace unless I am dancing, it is quite sad and pathetic how much I fall or walk into doors.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/18/2011

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Hey that is your choice Rebecca. Just don't judge something like Ballet when you have no understanding of it. I don't like soccer, but if my son wanted to play I would let him.

[deleted account]

I don't really see anything that's doing much to change my mind on this topic. Karate, soccer, running, swimming, jazz, yes. Still a big no on ballet. Even if she begs and cries. It's not happening.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/18/2011

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That is awesome Holly, we never did anything like that. We did not have the community support for anything so adventerous. Everyone loved having our Ballet company around, but really did nothing to help us.



Oh, and don't forget to mention the bloody blistered feet that would bleed through your point shoes after 1 1/2 hour of class, and 3 hours of rehearsal, plus 5-7 additional classes per week. And if you sat down for a moment, got back up to dance, you could barely walk. Once your feet were like that, you sit, you die. You would have to keep moving to keep the pain at bay.

I would ride my bike to and from, that adding an additional 10 miles of work out3-5 days per week depending on if I had a ride. My mom would have classes right after school, and I would find myself without transportation, but HAVE to be there.

[deleted account]

Marina - It's actually NOT a large company. There's usually about 100 students (although this year they're already up to 140! woo hoo!). We're from a small town in Nevada that no one can pronounce (or spell correctly - lol). We just alwasy put ourselves out there and ASK to perform for big companies (such as Disney). Still to this day we are the only studio from Northern Nevada to perform in Disney World :)

[deleted account]

I've met at least a dozen ballerinas who are over 6 feet tall. I've done dance for many years and met a lot of people (both pros and those working on being pros) and I've seen 'em in all shapes and sizes. If you WANT to be a good dancer and you work hard at it, then it doesn't matter what size you are :)



Also, ballet is the MOST athletic form of dance (IMO). It works EVERYTHING - including cardio :) I really hope your instructor in that course gets some instruction themselves because they obviously have never danced and therefore shouldn't be making assumptions like that. I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted because I knew I would burn it off (out my my 10+ hours of dance per week more than 3/4 of that was ballet). Ballet is the most physically demanding and the hardest to master. I remember quite a few ballet dances where I was literally falling down by the end because they were so exhausting (not all ballet is slow and easy! lol).

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/18/2011

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this is an example of a beautiful solo. One of my favorites that I have danced many times. Don't mind her mess up in the turns, they are very difficult. Tell me this is not athletic...

Angela - posted on 11/18/2011

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sorry in addition... Stand outside a dance studio (not with the 5-8 year olds but the ones that have graduated to toe shoes) and watch the girls and boys coming out wiping the sweat from their foreheads, I agree an hour of non stop ballet is so much more intense than standing around waiting for something to happen.

Angela - posted on 11/18/2011

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Rebecca I do think you should look into ballet a little bit more. I myself danced for years and it is a very great form of excercise, my sister has been dancing for 17 years and is extremly athletic and is dancing for Penn State and will most likely go far with this in life. Please reconsider, not only is ballet designed to push every muscle in the female body but also teaches disapline and self respect as a women



Edit Note: and Rebecca I myself am 5' 10" and I never found that my height was an issue. Even in partnering up toe shoes or not my dance instructor loved my height and considered it to add beauty to my performance

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/18/2011

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BAHAHAHAHAHAHA....that actually is really terrible that it would not be recognized as aerobic. And no, it does NOT require anyone to starve themselves. Dancers that have self esteem issues do that on their very own accord. Yeah, I really hope that class is updated.

Admittedly, there is focus on your body, for different reasons than you would think. And, any dance class is going to have that focus. They are in front of mirrors during training, and perform on a stage of people in costumes that accentuate their bodies. Duh. BUT, to say that calories are not burned during a class is blasphemous. In a childs class, I can see...but in an advanced class....BAHAHAHAHAHAHA....that is rich.

[deleted account]

Actually, my "assumptions" are based upon my kinesthesiology course in college where they specifically identified ballet as being one of the few forms of dance that is not aerobic, and therefore requires ballet dancers to practically starve themselves to maintain their thin figures because they don't burn off calories dancing like other sports do. So it's really not an assumption at all. Maybe the research since then states otherwise, but that is what I was taught. I don't want her placed into a sport where so much focus is placed on being thin, either. I want her to be healthy, not a swizzle stick.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/18/2011

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I was the shortest for sure, but many women range in height. It is preffered to be on the shorter side because of pertnering, but the way you are trained determines your muscles. It does not determine how good or graceful you are. That is all about the person and talent and training.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/18/2011

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Actually, I danced with a girl that was 5ft 11 and she was AMAZING! She could not partner, she was to tall with point shoes on, but she certainly was a soloist.

[deleted account]

So, Holly and Marina, exactly how many 6 foot tall female ballerinas do you recall encountering in your years of dance? I'm guessing not very many.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/18/2011

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She may not be able to partner, but she can enjoy the art. It is not always about becoming proffessional Rebecca. I am just under 5 ft. I am too short for basketball, but I did pretty well.

And it most certainly IS a cardio workout Rebecca. Ballet meaning....there are so many jumps, moving around the dance floor, you have no idea. Please don't make assumptions about Ballet and what it is or isn't....especially if you have never danced it. Ask any dancer, and they will tell you what it is all about.

[deleted account]

I'm 5'11"; my daughter is well on track to be taller than that. The current estimate is that she will be 6'1". So yes, she and I are both too tall for ballet. I don't really believe in putting a child into a sport that their body is totally inappropriate for. I wouldn't put her into gymnastics beyond simple tumbling for the same reason.

In terms of it being athletic, I was referring more to the cardiovascular aspects of it. It unquestionably helps with strength and toning, but it isn't a cardio workout. There are many other activites that focus on strength and muscle control that also are a cardiovascular workout. I personally don't consider baseball to be much of a sport either. It's the only sport I know of where you have to wear warmups out in the field.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/18/2011

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WOW! That is amazing Holly, it must have been a big company. I was headed up to Boston Ballet, but my mother sold her school when I was 15, and I was 1 1/3 hours from the city, and did not want to continue training from a local teacher. I only wanted the best of the best...ended up shooting myself in the foot with that one. I definitely regret my choices, not that I would ever wish my family away either.

[deleted account]

lol Heather - in High School I took over 10 hours of dance per week, but they still made me take pe to graduate. I took weight training (lol) and every time the teacher tried to get me to run I would look at him and tell him that after school (and work) I was going to work out more than anyone in the calss would work out the entire year... He always let me go early... hee hee hee... :)

Marina - I never wanted to be a pro dancer, but I was on my way there almost accidentally. lol. Our studio has performed in Disney World, Disney Land, 2 cruise ships, and multiple community performances. I've been offered Disney jobs through those experiences (as a dancer, a character and on the cruise ship) and sometimes I regret not taking the jobs. Mostly, though, I'm very happy I turned them down and started my family instead :)

Lady Heather - posted on 11/18/2011

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I remember a PE teacher telling me that ballet was not exercise back in the day. Well let me tell you, ballet left me a lot more worn out than freaking standing in a field waiting for a ball to come my way or waiting in line to hit a ball with a stick and then run an incredibly short distance (I have a lot of respect for baseball :P).

Freja is still too young, but she starts dance lessons next year. I'm super excited about it because it's my childhood studio. It has a great atmosphere, it's totally inclusive and the costumes are always appropriate. Can't wait to see her in her first Nutcracker!

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/18/2011

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Well, it cannot be as hard because she is learning the tools for correct movement, and training her muscles to support that movement. Even at a young age starting out learning the simple positions of 1st, 2nd, 4th, and 5th....portebra (spelling) with the arms, and plie's are the foundation of movement along with tondues and the correct way to point your feet. She is training her body for movement. Ballet will help her in any dance she wants to learn, cause it is so much about controlling movement and muscle.

Brittany - posted on 11/18/2011

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If Caoilainn gets taller then me she will not be taller then 5'0.

Caoilainns Ballet class is not as "hard" as the older girls but, man do they work in there. Ms.T has a TV setup so we can watch and Caoilainn works he little booty off.

The most important thing is that she is having fun! That is what matters to me the most.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/18/2011

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Holly, I was also on the professional road to Ballet, unfortunate circumstances and my ego got in the way.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/18/2011

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Yes, you CAN be to tall for Ballet, but that would be more for patnering. When on point, the male HAS to be as tall or taller than you. If you are in the core, there can be varying heights, but unless you are over 5ft 10, you should be fine.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/18/2011

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Ballet strengthens EVERY....let me repeat that EVERY muscle in your body. It is an incredible workout. It gives you poise, ellegence, and a control over your body like no other. Bar warm up is like a marathon for your mind and body. Just standing in first position properly calls for complete muscle control. Sorry, but if you have never truly taken ballet, that is the kind of comment you leave.

Corinne - posted on 11/18/2011

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I've danced my entire life and still work for my friends company as and when I can. I find it's usually the disco dance costumes that are too revealing and they wear a lot of make up and crud for competitions. Hmmmm ballet not excercise? I beg to differ.

[deleted account]

Ballet is incredibly athletic. It takes great balance, coordination, strength, and stamina.

My kid is too young for dance (in my opinion). I want her to want to take it. I LOVED dance, but I don't want her to take it just because I love it. There is a studio in town that just does ballet. She'll probably go there. From what I've seen (from going to friend's kid's recitals) that studio focuses on skill and technique with very simple costumes. It's not flashy like the other studios, some of which use inappropriate music and costume. There are also fewer fees and 'extras' at that particular studio.

[deleted account]

Ummm... did you REALLY just say that Ballet is not really excersize and someone can be "too tall" for it? I really beg to differ... Let me ask - Have you EVER taken Ballet? I'm guessing not, because I used to do it semi-professionally and NO OTHER workout compares to the workout I get from Ballet (not even doing other types of dance).

[deleted account]

My daughter is too young for dance classes, but I'm sure she will be in them some day. It's funny that you mention that show because I find it strangely addictive. Primarily from the perspective of not understanding why these moms allow their daughters to be treated the way they are being treated. I just don't get it. If any person who interacted with my child spoke to me or my kid the way that dance coach does, I would be out the door and never take them back again. What exactly do the moms think they are getting out of it?

Brittany - posted on 11/17/2011

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Caoilainn does Ballet, Tap and Jazz, for right now.

The three costumes she has for her next performance are adorable. The Jazz costume is for the song "Witch Doctor" and they are wearing a blue leoaprd print outfit that shows a little but of her belly but, it is no worse then the Tinkerbell costumes and such she has.

I do not mind her wearing make-up for her dances but, not when she is not performing.

She has shown interest in taking Hip-Hop classes.....For now I think we will stick with the Tap and Jazz and Ballet. She just loves dance music and she LOVES LOVES LOVES Lady Gaga. Her dance teacher calls her Lady Gaga.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/17/2011

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That is awesome Holly, I used to teach also. I actually really enjoyed teaching adults more than anyone. I miss dancing. It never leaves you, it becomes part of your soul.

I would have LOVED taking contemporary. I think if I was allowed to take that, I would still be dancing right now.

Chelsey - posted on 11/17/2011

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Both my girls are in dance but they are still little so what they wear is super cute. The recital we went to last year all the costumes looked decent to me so i have no problems so far.

Sharlene - posted on 11/17/2011

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There costumes can be having bearing LOL , Especially if the child is under the of 5 yrs old,But some of the costumes can be so beautiful. I think it's the dance school and it's reputation to the community

Vicki - posted on 11/17/2011

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I think sometimes dance costumes are inappropriate. I've seen dance schools with 5 year olds in sparkly bikinis and hair in curls and a tonne of makeup, bit gross really. I always danced as well, ballet, jazz and contemporary. I went to a local school here where one of the main aims was allowing children to be children. So at the concerts, the littlest ones were faires, flowers, bees, school children, whatever fit the theme and was appropriate. They only wore a bit of makeup for fun, only when older did we get fully made up.

I also think some moves are inappropriate for littles. Hip isolations etc before they have hips looks wrong. Ok for dancing around the living room but not really when choreographed into a dance. There's so much scope for movement and imagination without sexualised choreography for young dancers.

My boy is only 2 so hasn't been to dance lessons yet, although we do some expressive movement type stuff at playgroup as well as at home. I'd love it if he's interested when he's older.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/17/2011

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I guess I should tell you, my mom was a professional ballet dancer with NYCB for many years until she had all of us, so she opened her own ballet schools, and I was trained by her.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/17/2011

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I danced ballet from the moment I was born. Ballet is different than general dance classes though. We are in a leotard and tights for class, and wear beautiful costumes for performances. Yes, they are tight, and little...but not inappropriate. If I felt in any way my daughter was wearing innappropriate attire or dancing with suggestive moves, I would tear her out of the school so quick, it would make the instructors heads spin. There are plenty of schools out there to chose from.

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