!!!DATING OUTSIDE YOUR RACE!!!

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 07/20/2010 ( 27 moms have responded )

4,455

6

402

Maybe im wrong (that’s why I ask) but do you think/feel that dating outside your race is more accepted over in Europe then it is in America????
Either way do you think it’s wrong or should youjust stick to your own race…..or do you feel people should do what ever makes them happy???

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Charlie - posted on 07/22/2010

11,203

111

409

I dont know about Europe or the U.S but in Australia its a non issue , i guess i date " outside my race " being im "of colour " and my partner is white but no one looks at it as two different colours dating , we are just two people who are together and go together well nothing more nothing less and in a melting pot such as Australia there really isn't any "pure " races that could honestly say they were dating outside of it we are all so mixed it would just be ridiculous to worry about such a thing .

This conversation has been closed to further comments

27 Comments

View replies by

C. - posted on 07/22/2010

4,125

35

242

I don't have a problem with it. If I did, I'd have a problem with myself b/c my family is a mix of many things (Irish, Scottish, Scandinavian, British, Native American (what I call 'Indian').. And I feel like I'm missing one or two, but you get the point). Oh and yes, somewhere down the line one of my family members that married into the family was black, so I guess I have a drop of that in me as well (not sure what they were as far as where their ancestors came from). And I was also very set in my black men up until hubby came along (he's mostly Italian) :) One had a kid already and was going through a custody battle (one thing I didn't really want to get in the middle of) and the other one was just as shy as I was at the time- both were around my age.

The reason I don't have a problem with this is b/c I don't feel like it is immoral in any way- just for clarification b/c some of you know I feel about other things very strongly.

I do have to agree with something Sharon said ("My only lament is that one day all these beautiful skin tones will be gone.") I think that will be sad in the sense that such beautiful skin tones will be a rarity, if still existent at all.

But as far as should someone not date/marry another just b/c of their skin color.. I think that's wrong. It's something the other person cannot help at all and it really doesn't differentiate whether or not they are a bad/good person. There is bad and good in every race.

And though I do agree with Sharon about that statement.. I will say mixed babies are among some of the most beautiful babies ever made. But I still think losing distinct races someday will be a sad thing.. (sorry for rambling.. Tired and going through a 6 hr time change..)

Iris - posted on 07/22/2010

1,993

29

51

I guess it depends on where you are. I lived in Iceland, England and Germany. We had no problems over there to speak of and you saw interracial couples almost every day. It's like seeing a dark haired person and a blond haired person together, not much to it. People don't stare and they don't feel the urge to comment.

USA, my story is a bit different, but it depends on where you are. Chicago, many both white and black don't like seeing interracial black/white couple and some will share their opinion with you. We had a couple walk out at a restaurant because of us sitting close.

SC, I was there with my husband, children, MIL and her sister. We went to a restaurant and we were asked 3 times if I was a part of the group.

Maryland, New York, DC and HI where we are atm no problems there.

I don't think that there is anything wrong with dating or marrying outside your race, I did. You get to know someone and you fall in love. You make it work if it's worth it and if it's not you get out. It has NOTHING to do with race and everything to do with instinct and love.



What's your opinion Ebony?

Danielle - posted on 07/21/2010

915

38

42

I'm Canadian and anywhere I've been in Canada it's widely accepted to be in a mixed race relationship. I don't have a problem with it...you love who you love, their race doesn't matter.

Jane - posted on 07/21/2010

1,041

5

69

Ah man...I just looked and found out that Taye Diggs is married to Idina Menzel, who I think is amazing but now I'm all sad because he's not gonna come knockin' at my door....MAN!!!!! I guess I'll stick with my man...he's a keeper anyway...Taye was just my fantasy :)

Jane - posted on 07/21/2010

1,041

5

69

Oh, and I have to point out, as a 51 year old white woman, if Taye Diggs comes knockin at my door, I'm dumping my white ass husband...and he has been duly informed :)

Jane - posted on 07/21/2010

1,041

5

69

I think you can't help who you love. I think that people are people...the color of ones skin does not define the person. I come from an old school Italian Catholic family..my mother was persecuted for years because she married my white PROTESTANT/NORWEGIAN father...my God, what was she thinking (LOL)! My Grandfather finally got over it and grew to love my dad but it wasn't good to start.

I just hope, for my children that they find true love...that who they choose to spend their life with is the person who treats them with love, respect and kindness. If that person happens to be white, yellow, red, black, purple, same gender, different religion...WHATEVER. I just want them to know true and wonderful love!

So, in short, no, I don't think it's wrong, I don't think you should stick to your own kind.

Sharon - posted on 07/21/2010

11,585

12

1315

lol Jenny - I'm part white so technically - no I didn't. Technically he only partially married outside his race but his family doesn't see it that way.

September - posted on 07/21/2010

5,233

15

695

Being part of a bi-racial family myself I feel people should do what makes them happy! We're all human after all! :) I've never been to Europe so I don’t know about that.

[deleted account]

Do what makes you happy there's so much unhappiness in this world why add to it and feel you cant do something you feel others will judge you about..fall in love with who ever makes your heart race:-)be happy for you and no body else.

Jenny - posted on 07/20/2010

4,426

16

129

Sharon, if hubby married outside his race, didn't you too? Or was he married twice?

I don't know what it's really like elsewhere but it's not really a big deal here on a society level. There are still families that won't accept it but you don't get weird looks walking down the street. I've dated a Native, a Mexican and a Guatamalen/Jamaican and there was never any issues or weirdness. Except for the Gautamalen/Jamaica but that's because he was 6 inches shorter than me at an even 5 feet.

Shelley - posted on 07/20/2010

435

0

34

Are we in 2010?
I don't know about America or Europe but in Australia it is acceptble for all inter racial marriage/dating ect. Older family members may be concerned but my generation are fine with it. They often make the cutest babies. Yes people should be with the person that makes them happy

Carolee - posted on 07/20/2010

21,950

17

585

I'm white, and I told my husband once... "it's wierd that you're white". I never thought I'd marry a white guy... I've just never been that attracted to them. My son is half Mexican, though. Oddly, it was my ex's family (in Mexico) that had a race issue with me. Almost everybody in his family stopped talking to him while we were together.

Hannah - posted on 07/20/2010

44

0

0

I don't think it is that big of an issue here, however, I still think in the south it is more prevelant. I hate to stereotype but my family is from Arkansas and they would s*** bricks- my extended family, thank God I don't talk to them. I love black men, Reggie Bush, Champ Bailey, Rampage Jackson. YUMMY! I dated a black man in college and he was great. I think Halle Barry's baby is the most beautiful little girl ever. It does help that her parents are two of the most beautiful black and white people ever.

Sharon - posted on 07/20/2010

11,585

12

1315

It is no more & no less accepted over there than 'here'.

Date who you want, screw who you want.

My only lament is that one day all these beautiful skin tones will be gone. No more super dark masai, no creamy pearl skinned british, no tawny asians.

fyi - hubby married outside of his race.

Meghan - posted on 07/20/2010

3,169

33

202

I am such a mutt, that I am sure no matter who I end up with it will be a mixed relationship LOL.

You can't help you fall in love with. People are people no matter the color of their skin or cultural background!

[deleted account]

I see no problem with it at all. I agree that mixes are really beautiful! I once told my hubby that he would have to turn black and I would become Japanese that way we could have a "Blackanese" daughter, lol (I find them extremely beautiful, with the tan skin and almond eyes).

Once, at a summer camp I worked at, there was a white nurse that really kept to herself but it got 10x worse when her husband would visit. She never left her room unless she was on duty and we never saw her husband. Finally, I caught them when he was leaving to go home. He was a very black man. I introduced myself and chatted for a while. When he was gone the nurse apologized to me for not introducing him but she had always been met with snide comments or dirty looks. She was in her late 40's, I would say. I just shrugged and said that a person is a person and you love who you love. Why should anyone judge that?

Rosie - posted on 07/20/2010

8,657

30

321

i think it's getting better here in the united states, i can't speak for other countries, but i've heard it is more acceptable than over here. i havn't heard anybody, except for my father, talk negatively about black and white people marrying or dating. and hopefully people like my father are becoming less and less.



i personally have no problem with it, i have dated black men, i've dated mixed men, i've dated a mexican man. i think it's stupid to be against love in any form. who cares what somebody's color is, as long as they treat me good that's all i care about. :)

LaCi - posted on 07/20/2010

3,361

3

171

I've really never heard anyone say anything negative about it, except the racist guy howard stern likes to interview.

Jessica - posted on 07/20/2010

626

26

29

I think there isn't anything wrong with it, and in Canada, people really dont care spare a few religious fanatics! Besides, mixed couples always have beautiful babies! lol

Jackie - posted on 07/20/2010

1,415

44

72

I have no idea what it's like in the UK as I've never been but here in the US, I think it's becoming way more acceptable in the younger generation. The older folks are still very "set in their ways. In generations past, it's VERY taboo to date outside of your race, namely black/white.

I personally don't have a problem with it, if other people decide that thats what they want. I've seen very happy / healthy / functional families that are inter-racial. I personally wouldn't date a black guy. Not because he's black but because I'm simply not attracted. I'm not prejudice by any means though and to each his own.

The thread could get pretty ugly though. I'm gonna be keeping my eye on this one. It could get good :p

Janessa - posted on 07/20/2010

444

38

28

I have no problem with it at all sinced my son is mixed black me and his father white. I myself likely have european blood from slavery :( many whites have problem with interacial datinge ect. Maybe the slave masters should have kept it in their pants then blacks all over the world would not be mixed because of that lol.

Lucy - posted on 07/20/2010

591

33

23

I see absolutely no reason why it should be an issue when two halves of a couple have different racial heritage.

The only argument that I've heard that even half way makes sense is that the culture and background of the two people could be at odds and cause family friction or difficulties in deciding how to raise kids. But this could happen even of the couple are both the same race but from different countries or social backgrounds.

genetically speaking, it is beneficial for human beings to mate with a person as different from themselves as possible, as it reduces the possibility of many birth defects and is more likely to produce offspring with a variety of genetic strengths. So maybe we should all be dating outside of our race as the best way to produce healthy children!

As for the UK/US thing, I think maybe it is less of an issue here in the UK. The last school I taught at was a very large, mixed comprehensive school. Just in my tutor group alone I had pupils who were black, white, asian, romany travellers and mixtures of all of the above. I know that one girl had difficulty with her family accepting her boyfriend (and vice versa) who wasn't of the same race. It is also true that two of the boys in the class also took issue with the same couple, but I'm not sure if their reasons were racially based at all, or more of a personality clash. Other than that, it was very usual for kids to date other kids of different races, nobody really raised an eyebrow about it.

Sorry to sound naive, but having never been to the States, I was unaware that it is considered to be a big issue there. Is it generally considered unacceptable?

Lindsay - posted on 07/20/2010

3,532

26

267

For me personally, people are people regardless of thier skin color and everyone is my equal. I have a close friend that was adopted from Korea when she was a baby and I know that she did run into this issue sadly. She started dating one of our close guy friends in high school and his parents were absolutely horrid to her. I never understood it and still don't.

I think if anyone has negative views on this, it comes from the older generations. I've yet to run across this as an issue with people my age as it's fairly common and no one thinks too much about it. You love who you love, whether or not they are the same race.
I couldn't say if it's more accepted in Europe than it is here since I don't live there.

[deleted account]

From my observations, it's becoming more acceptable here. But if someone is going to have a problem with it, it will be a white/black couple. For example, I dated a guy from Venezuela in college. That was fine. But I have an aunt and uncle that would have made a big stink about me dating a black guy. Unfortunately. But I have not problem with it whatsoever.

Krista - posted on 07/20/2010

12,562

16

847

I honestly have no idea on whether interracial dating is more acceptable in Europe than it is here.

But I see absolutely no reason why someone shouldn't date someone of a different race. What's more important is if the couple is compatible and loving.

[deleted account]

I know many people who date outside their race, starting with my own family. Historically my Great Great Nan married a black man from Ohio, he came to the UK on a banana boat after the slave trade was abolished in the US (this is actually true - I point this out because most people think I am joking when I tell them) - I'm a heinz 57 variety (according to my MIL) because as well as my Great Great Grandad I have Polish ancestry, Indian ancestry, and British to name but a few :-). My auntie married a British - Jamaican (his dad is Jamaican).

I have friends who date people outside their race, one friends b/f is Polish, another dated a Indian guy, another dated a Chinese girl and many more.

I cannot say whether it is more accepted in the UK and Europe than in the US because I do not live in the US and can only show my experiences of the UK - many of my friends/ family who have been in mixed race relationships have experienced prejudice about it - mainly relating to the decision to have children - I have heard people exclaim it is wrong because those children do not belong to anything (meaning that for example if they are black/ white mix they are not black they are not white) which I disagree with - they simply have a different heritage to other people (as we all do). I hope this makes sense I kind of feel as though I have rambled :-)

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms