Death

[deleted account] ( 14 moms have responded )

All this religious talk lately has me thinking. We had a dead rat in our garage that Roxanne (2 1/2) saw and I stumbled over words trying to come up with a satisfactory explanation of what happened and where the dead animal was going now that he had met his demise.

What if you're not religious and don't believe there is a Heaven? How would you handle that situation?

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JuLeah - posted on 05/29/2011

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Well, you have to tell her what you believe. My daughter has been taught that these bodies we live in are our human suits, we where them while we are here in better interact with this world. What we really look like, chances are, is whatever light/energy looks like.
Sometimes our bodies are injured so much, we can't live in them anymore. In the same way, coats get ripped, jeans get torn ..... there is no death; law of physic: Enegry is not created or destroyed, it just changes form .... energy doesn't die, just our bodies do

Charlie - posted on 05/29/2011

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I would be proud and I am proud when my child shows concern for animals and people .



Cooper visited his grandfather everyday in the hospital when he was sick and dying , he was a little upset but what came of it was Cooper showed great empathy he ended up giving his turtle ( which he never shared before ) to his gradfather to comfort him, on the day he passed away ( after he had passed ) Cooper got to come in , he hugged him and said goodbye ..he told him he loved him ,he still tells me it is ok when I cry about my dad now , he wraps his arms around me and says "Granfa' not sick anymore "



Children have amazing powers of perception , understanding and empathy , I think a lot of the time people don't give them enough credit when it comes to dealing with death often they deal a lot better than adults .

Charlie - posted on 05/29/2011

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I think it is a good thing Shannen , Death is a natural part of life and something I don't feel should be hidden .

I have to say that I DO have a problem with people telling young children that the dead are "sleeping" .

Charlie - posted on 05/29/2011

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Cooper knows when an animal is dead .....He says "look mummy it's dead " so far he hasnt asked where it goes, I will explain when he asks , I will tell him the body becomes the earth ......circle of life and all that , If he asks about religion and death or anything like that I will explain what other people believe.

It all depends on age and what is appropriate for him to handle .....Baby steps and then deeper conversation when he is older .

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Jenn - posted on 05/29/2011

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My kids know what death is, and they know it's forever. I don't know how much the girls understand at this age, but my son does. We've experienced death from bugs, raccoons and other road kill, to people, and it's also a known fact that the food on our plate was once an animal.

Krista - posted on 05/29/2011

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That's perfect, Tara. I'm going to borrow that when the time comes. :)

And yeah, I hate the "sleeping" explanation. I went to my grandmother's wake with my son, and my mom pointed out my grandmother and said, "Great-Nanny is sleeping." I didn't say anything to her about it because a) at the wake is NOT the right time, and b) he was only 19 months at the time, so I'm sure the whole thing went way over his head anyway. But, when he is old enough to understand such things, I want to make sure that my husband and I are the ones to explain it to him, and that nobody fills his head with foolish talk.

Tara - posted on 05/29/2011

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I went with the everything dies and returns to the earth to help other things grow and live. Energy is what makes us who we are and our bodies house our energy until our bodies become too sick or hurt or old to continue to house our energy. When we die our bodies are either buried or cremated and our energy goes out into the world with all the other energy that exists.
All that was, all that is and all that will be is made from the earth and will return to the earth.

[deleted account]

So, I should be proud? ;) YAY! I'm doing a good job.....I made my kid cry. LMFAO!

In all honesty, I'm joking....I do totally get what you're saying, and I agree with you. Death is natural and a part of life that cannot be avoided.

[deleted account]

I don't think death should be hidden either but i do believe age appropriate explinations only none of the harsh this is how it is kind of talk. I just wasn't sure if i had been age appropriate with her for her to know off her own back that we put them in the ground but in saying that she handles it very well knowing where they are buried and often asks to go and see them.

Dana when my parents dog got hit by the car Ella was devastated but i figured i would just help her with her emotions. It worked wonders for her even though whenever we mention Saxon she would cry and say "but i don't want Sacky to be dead" she has dealt with it.
I just asked her where is Saxon she said "In the stars with Anna but his body is in the ground Mummy".

Charlie - posted on 05/29/2011

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And it is upsetting that she was sad but it is also a good indicator of her ability to show empathy for others , even rats .

[deleted account]

I told her the rat was dead and she looked so upset, and just kept asking, "The rat is dead, mommy!" I thought she was going to cry.

[deleted account]

My daughter (only one old enough to have any sort of understanding) knows that when animals or humans die they get buried and that they are no longer with us.
1st animal she knew of dying was one of my parents hand reared cows at the time of the cow dying Ella was a lot younger so we explained that Anna, The cow, was no longer with us but she was in the stars. We only explained it like that because she was only around 2 at the time and one day she was there and the next she was gone. Now when ever an animal or even human passes away she says they are in the stars with Anna. Although when my parents dog got hit by a car she knew that he had been buried and now it's somewhat of a mix of they are in the ground and in the stars. For a 4 yr old she has an amazing grasp on death, not sure if it's a good thing or not.

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