DMG!!! Debating Moms Gossip

Jenni - posted on 03/26/2011 ( 178 moms have responded )

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In light of 'certain' threads.... what happened to DMG-Debating Moms Gossip.... we sort of let that forum go dead. Why don't we resurrect it by inviting new members?



Edit to add: Haha! Ok. I think my OP may have been a bit misleading. Just to clarify this is NOT a group to talk about other members or threads. The other thread reminded me that there is certain 'sisterhood' on DM and we all seem to enjoy the advice and opinions of the other ladies here. It's an informal section of DM to get advice, talk about personal topics and friendly chat. :))



http://www.circleofmoms.com/dmg



scroll to the bottom of the page to join

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Sarah - posted on 03/29/2011

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Ok, so I guess I'll pipe up at this point! lol

First of all, DMG was never about sitting around slagging people off.......it was more like gossip in the sense of "sitting around having a natter" kind of thing. It was (and now is again) a place to find support and ask questions of a more personal nature that people didn't want to post as a debate.

Secondly, the Mosaic sounds like a great place for the women who are involved with it. There's probably hundreds of groups like it all over COM's. I think having a safe haven to go and chat to people is great! I'm not sure why there seems to be bad feeling between people in the Mosaic and DM's.........maybe there isn't even any!

Thirdly, ANY thread that disintegrates into an argument rather than an actual debate will be locked. As a debate board, things get locked more often than anything would be locked in a private support type group.......I don't think DMG ever had a thread locked, because it's a completely different type of group.

I hope people do join DMG, it was fun back in the day, and I'm sure it will be fun now too! :)

Krista - posted on 03/29/2011

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I guess I have a few thoughts on this. And just for full disclosure, I am a member of Mosaic, and have just posted a very similar post there.

I think we all need a place to go vent sometimes. The debates here CAN get rather heated, and we can get frustrated with each other. And that's normal.

DMG, much like Mosaic, is just meant to be a place for people to get to know each other better on a personal level. And yeah, sometimes people will vent if they're all riled up from a heated debate in here.

And I think that people get emotionally attached to the groups with which they feel a strong connection. Some people here view Mosaic as their COM "home", and don't like to hear anything negative said about it. Others view DM as their COM "home", and don't like to hear anything negative said about it.

DM can get pretty bloodthirsty at times, yes. But I know there is a deep wellspring of support here. Even if someone is feeling "attacked" due to being vastly outnumbered in a debate, I know damn well that if that person was having a personal issue, and put up a post asking for advice and support, every woman here would be right there, trying to help. And I think that sometimes gets overlooked or forgotten when people get frustrated with DM.

And one could likely say the same about Mosaic: that even with the odd issue regarding membership, or the odd vent about DM, that overall, it's a group of ladies who are very supportive and helpful for each other. And that latter aspect is what DMG is meant to be as well.

I guess to me, the moral of the story is that we all have to try to not take things quite so personally. Yeah, I love DM to bits, and don't like hearing anything negative said about it. But I need to suck that up and deal with the fact that yeah, some people probably HAVE had negative experiences here. And we either fix things with that person, or we all move on. And the ladies of Mosaic don't like hearing anything negative said about that group, but like it or not, some people HAVE had negative experiences. So, like I said, they either repair things with that person, or they all move on.

That's life.

At any rate, DMG is a pretty cool spot, and I know there are a lot of ladies on here who I'd like to get to know better, so hopefully we'll see you there!

[deleted account]

If people are going to go around talking behind my back..i dont want to be a member of the group anyways.

[deleted account]

I was invited to that group by a member...then when i joined people decided to boycot because i was there and i was removed...then the group was made private...yeah for welcomings :D

Krista - posted on 03/30/2011

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hmm...didn't you get booted from mosaic. suck it up and get over it.

Was that really necessary? Jodi wasn't being rude to you at all. In one breath, you apologize and say that your hostility gets the better of you, and then in the very next breath, you're taking jabs at someone who is actually being quite civil to you.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

178 Comments

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Johnny - posted on 03/30/2011

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I can not believe this is still going on! Wow. I have to wonder at people who are repeatedly saying that DM is a nasty place where people bully others while also saying things like: "hmm...didn't you get booted from mosaic. suck it up and get over it." Had it ever occurred to you that perhaps some people's feelings were a teensy bit hurt by all of that? That sure comes through to me from some of the posts here.

Like Loureen said, DMG is a tea party. Where everyone is welcome and supported. It's a nice place to get to know people in a gentle atmosphere whom you may have engaged on the debating field. Some of my friends on here are not people I always agree with. But I don't agree with everything my friends in real life say either. Doesn't mean we can't still be friends.

Tara - posted on 03/30/2011

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This thread is now locked.
So for those who would like to join DMG for the purposes outlined in the OP mainly:
"that there is certain 'sisterhood' on DM and we all seem to enjoy the advice and opinions of the other ladies here. It's an informal section of DM to get advice, talk about personal topics and friendly chat. :))
If you haven't joined you can do so by pm'ing myself or one of the other mods.
Tara DM Mod

Krista - posted on 03/30/2011

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hmm...didn't you get booted from mosaic. suck it up and get over it.

Was that really necessary? Jodi wasn't being rude to you at all. In one breath, you apologize and say that your hostility gets the better of you, and then in the very next breath, you're taking jabs at someone who is actually being quite civil to you.

[deleted account]

and I'm sorry OP cause this will probably get shut down. honestly I apologize to you...but my hositilty does get the better of me at times (funny, only here which was reason for joing the 'stressful' mosaic...jodi maybe you didn't see the mods post as you were posting at same time...hmm...didn't you get booted from mosaic. suck it up and get over it.

NOW I am done :)

Charlie - posted on 03/30/2011

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Don't see a need for it that is all , still don't .



Sorry Tara :) DMG is a group to discuss day to day life , our fave recipes , nappy rash cures , advice , vents not to talk about people negatively or to talk about other groups negatively it's just just a bunch of ladies having a chat with a cup of tea ( oh I wish we could all be having a cup of tea together ).



Im enjoying the revival of DMG and getting to know newer debating members on another level.

Jodi - posted on 03/30/2011

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There really is no need to be so hostile Vicki. I was just clarifying that I believed you misunderstood Laura. But your hostility oozes in every post you make. I don't understand the need for it.

Tara - posted on 03/30/2011

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***Mod Warning***

Cool it down ladies.
Enough is enough with this back and forth stuff. I will lock this thread if it continues.
It remains open for anyone wishing to join the DMG community. These kinds of discussions can be done through PM no?
Thanks.
Tara DM Mod.

[deleted account]

IMO I would appreciate hearing it directly from the person that has said it. has your understanding regarding the hostility been made clear to you?

Charlie - posted on 03/30/2011

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*shrug* just wondering why so much hostility , Im pretty sure Laura will pop on later and agree with what Jodi has typed in her place , I mean it's pretty clear IMO.

[deleted account]

why? from me? because I am tired of the DMG vs Mosaic. it's bs. and I think I've spoken highly of this group. and I didn't ask for carification from Jodi, I asked for it from the person that posted directly to me. that and the simple reason that I am sarcastic. jeebus. does that answer your question?

[deleted account]

ya know what joid, I'm asking Laura to clarify what she meant. unless she is clairvoyantly typing through you I;m not sure you can be certain fo what she meant.

Jodi - posted on 03/30/2011

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Vicki, she wasn't trying to be bitchy, and the smiley face is an indication of that. She was simply trying to clarify some earlier statements. She made the comments that DMG is for people who actually LIKE hanging out with the regulars on DM. You made the comment that you don't particularly. Point made. Laura was just saying that you are not the only one who feels this way, a number of you in Mosaic do. That's not being bitchy, it's just fact.

Did you REALLY rejoin DM just to respond to Laura in this way?

[deleted account]

and why do ppl end a sentence with a fucking smiley face? is that supposed to make a knife in the back all good? NO laura I am NOT saying you knifed me in the back so don't even go there.

[deleted account]

oh jesus holly I don't want to have to join to respond to you. not sure what that meant but don't like the vibe of it. if it was a bitchy comment please stop. if not then I guess please clarify.

[deleted account]

oh jesus holly I don't want to have to join to respond to you. not sure what that meant but don't like the vibe of it. if it was a bitchy comment please stop. if not then I guess please clarify.

Isobel - posted on 03/30/2011

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and you certainly are not alone amongst your friends...that was my only point. :)

[deleted account]

and hey OP jsut wanna say I think you've done a great job stayng even keeled on this thread. like your style.

and for the record from me...I've said on mosaic that I think DM was so much fun when I first started. so many people from differing backgrounds and diferent perspectives offered. some agree with some not. just goes sour too often and some people ruin it for the rest. or could jsut be that for the most part this type of group is not for me. I love dishing and making points and standing up for what I believe in, I don't love when people get cruel to each other and have seen that happen. so basically I guess I'm giving a back handed compliment which wasn't intention. but for those that do keep sticking up and voicing the 'that is so wrong' injustice shit you are a credit to making this place a better place to be (in the bigger picture, not just the com picture). and now I bow out and say too bad sour taste in mouth here have loved some things some people have had to say.

[deleted account]

oh. gotcha. thanks. it is fun to have that on smaller level isn't it? and yeah, totally different from other groups. hope it gets going for you guys again and is fun.

Sarah - posted on 03/30/2011

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Nope Vicki, I wasn't referring to anything you'd said in that part of my post, just responding to the general feeling that DMG might be a place for nasty gossip rather than just general chit-chat gossip.
:)

[deleted account]

Ok so I guess I'll pipe back up at ths point. lol.
Sarah if you were implying my comment about slagging people off was referring to DMG it wasn't. I was just stating that we don't do that on mosaic. no reference or implications toward DMG at all.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/29/2011

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Thank you Laura. I have already stated that I missunderstood the "gossip" part of DMG. No, Mosaic is not a "catty" or "gossipy" group. People will have their opinions on it no matter what I say though. It was one thread that got out of hand becouse of me being royally pissed about a thread on DM. No pot calling the kettle black.

Isobel - posted on 03/29/2011

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I want to make it clear that I don't believe that Mosaic is a bad group. I TOTALLY understand a group of like-minded people coming together and wanting to have a closed group for venting or talking about personal stuff.

I just got upset with the whole "it sounds like it would be bitchy or catty" statement...sounded a little like a pot calling a kettle black to me, that's all.

For the most part (minus the last few threads I commented on in the group...and I'm sure there haven't been any since I left), the ladies in Mosaic were lovely people.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/29/2011

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Just clearing the air, I have never pm'ed or talked about you Rebecca in any thread that you have not been a part of. PERIOD.

Jenni - posted on 03/29/2011

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Yeah, I'm not really concerned about who said, started what. I know I participated in a less than kosher thread. I'm thinking that may be the one that started the riots.

But what's done is done.... moving on....

Amy - posted on 03/29/2011

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I'm still missing something and in both groups, so. eh. whatever. Mosaic is the least stressful group I've EVER been a part of. And not worth my time or pages of reading to try and figure out where the problem is if I'm not a part of it, really. I just hope women can find support wherever they can without getting ripped apart.

Mrs. - posted on 03/29/2011

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Yeah, I get totally got that by the casual manner of the OP. Who knew? Oh, well...it explains a lot. Often, I feel like people are responding to several threads I did not read, saying veiled thing like, "Trust me, a lot of people agree with me."...so I figured. Just didn't know it was so involved.

However, it doesn't sound like DMG was the baddy of the groups out there to me. Of course, I may be missing a few thread from a few different groups ;).

Jenni - posted on 03/29/2011

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I think my timing was bad on bringing up the idea to resurrect DMG. I really had no idea there was so much going on beneath the surface. :O

Mrs. - posted on 03/29/2011

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Wow. Is all I can say.

I had an inkling that there was a great deal of pm'ing and commiserating about subjects brought up in this forum in other groups. Just didn't know it was that involved.

I think I'd be okay joining the DMG but the Mosaic thing sounds a bit stressful.

Wow.

Mel - posted on 03/29/2011

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Im in, thanks guys. Hopefully that group gets used still. Now off to bed finally . Cheers

Sarah - posted on 03/29/2011

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Ok, try again Mel!
I thought hitting remove would remove her from the group! lol
I'm not good with all the technical crap ;)

Krista - posted on 03/29/2011

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No, you go to the banned users list in the admin options. You'll see a list of banned users, and next to each name, should see "remove".

Sarah - posted on 03/29/2011

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Just to check I'm doing it right......is it the "banned users" bit I need to go to......or Mel's profile? I've been trying from her profile but it doesn't work.

Sarah - posted on 03/29/2011

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Do I need to ask someone else to unblock Mel from DMG? I've tried twice!

Mel - posted on 03/29/2011

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omigosh it worked (welcome page) thankyou so much. Katherine told me I wasnt blocked so we just left it at that cause couldnt figure it out

Mel - posted on 03/29/2011

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bugger....they coulndt unblock me off the welcome page either. Thanks for trying

Sarah - posted on 03/29/2011

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Everyone's welcome Melissa........all that seems like a hundred years ago now! hahaha :)

Mel - posted on 03/29/2011

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can I be unblocked now or am I still out cause I dont like asking questions on this board it feels wrong

[deleted account]

funny was writing thanks tah also and computer crashed...can't remember now. shit!

Amy we've all only been there short time. you were an original memeber. not even 6 months I don't think. anyway yes thank you tah and I also think only the one DM mention as well and I think its been discussed to death here.

mosaic is for some, not for others. we did take a warming period and now trust the bulk competely. we don't sit around and slag other groups. sometimes its lighthearted fun and other times really serious issues. some post lots (cough cough) some occasionally but we have learned for the most part we've got each others backs and support when needed. and don't all moms need that? some get in real life, some in cyber, some in both.

kumbaya and shit in mosaic sure but we don't always agree with each other on some tough issues (i.e. spanking, sleep training, whatever). We chat about why we like or oppose but just don't kill each other over it.

and btw...if this post gets locked I think that is the biggest load of shit cause anything said (aside last night off shoots) has been in reference to DMG. and for the record...we have NEVER had a thread locked

regardless of what we are about i hope the DMG fills whatever need the people joining hope for.

and also for the record we are private yet do accept new members if one of us finds a person that thinks might get something out of it and would be a good fit. we are not evil bitches (well, maybe I am but the others aren't).

maybe this has become an interesting issue cause its been the first private group on com and was started as a spin-off like in tv land from DM, I dunno. but hey...people can start a million private groups. power to the cliques and finding support where ya need it.

so...back to DMG...

Amy - posted on 03/29/2011

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Thank you, Tah.

Really, I've only seen the one you were talking about where someone just vented and, other than that, sorry, DM not talked about. We're too wrapped up in our own lives and each others' I guess. ?? But I've only been on there for....6 months?

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