" Do as I say, NOT as I do! "......

[deleted account] ( 10 moms have responded )

Growing up my dad used to say that to my brothers and I! I always HATED it....it doesn't make sense to me! How bout you? Parenting motto or bullshit?


Johnny - posted on 05/16/2010




Well, in some cases it is just the facts. My daughter wants to drive every time we go to the car. She's 21 months. So it would be a little on the irresponsible side for me to say, sure, it's fine since mommy does it too. Can you imagine? lol.

But generally, I tend to think that modeling behavior is far more appropriate. My husband and I used to chuck our plastic recycling down the basement stairs instead of carrying it down each time. We realized that we were just showing her that throwing things in the house was okay. So we stopped. If it is alright for us to do, but not her, what would that be teaching her?

Jodi - posted on 05/16/2010




Mostly, it's BS but I'm with Sarah, that it depends on the circumstances and the context in which you are using it. For instance, my daughter can't wear makeup when we go out, but I'll put some on. Things like that, it does make sense.

Sarah - posted on 05/16/2010




Not that i've actually said it, but in some circumstances it is true!
I can do lots of things that my daughters aren't allowed to do simply because i'm adult.
It all depends on the circumstances you're using it in. :)

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Caitlin - posted on 05/18/2010




I guess my kids are both young enough that I haven`t had to use the `because i`m the mommy` thing, but i could see when the kids enter the "why?" stage, it might come in handy. My mom used to do it though for everything, without even a valid excuse to start with, which is a pretty big cop out..

Jodi - posted on 05/18/2010




I will admit to having used the "Because I said so and I'm the mummy". After endless explanations following endless questions at times, I just throw up my hands and say it. Ok, not much of an explanation, but you know what? I refuse to argue with my children. So when it obviously becomes and argument, and my explanation is not accepted, I put my foot down and say "Because I said so, and I am the parent here, and I am not arguing with you about it full stop." It works :) It is rare, but it works :)

Christa - posted on 05/18/2010




I agree. In certain places it's needed, but when talking about bad behavior you need to walk the walk.

Caitlin, I love the "because I said so", sometimes that's all the explaination they need. I'm your mother and you listen to me, the end. :-P

Caitlin - posted on 05/18/2010




When I was a teenager, my mom used to go on about, smoking is bad for you, you should never smoke.. people that smoke are dirty, and every day she'd sneak into the bathroom with the window open for a smoke herself, thinking we didn't notice (we were teenagers, common, give us some credit). I think for things like staying up later, makeup and stuff, it works, but not by saying" do as i say, not as I do.." that's not a good excuse.

My mom used to like the phrase "because I said so, i'm i'm the mummy, that's why"... never made sense to me either..

Krista - posted on 05/16/2010




Like the others said, there are obviously some things that adults can do that kids cannot, and they'll need to accept that. I always hated that particular phrase, though -- I always wanted to know WHY I couldn't do something. So I will try to explain to my kids why it is that they're not allowed to do a certain thing, so that they can hopefully understand that I'm not just being a dictator, but that I am acting in their best interests.

[deleted account]

There are some things that kids have to accept they can't do because they're not grownups, but I still think it's BS for the most part. Of course parents should model good behaviour for their children before they can expect their child to act a certain way.

Amie - posted on 05/15/2010




I think it's BS. For everything. My parents never used that exact phrase much. Other than in a joking manner. It still didn't matter.

Modeling behavior works much better than dictating to a child, especially older children. /:) It's always harder when they can point out the flaws in your reasoning or turn it back around on you.

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