Do I let my 13 year old daughter read adult books about love and sex? Even books about gay sexuality

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Rebecca - posted on 02/15/2014

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When i was that age i was reading a lot of my mums books and she read a lot of true story books about kids in care and them being abused and to be honest the books just made me more wary of what could happen because as a child or teenager you don't really no about that stuff so when i read the books to start with i dint understand it all but i was more wary when i went out to friends houses and school and things

Chet - posted on 02/09/2014

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Depends on the 13 year old. I know a lot of people who were reading adult books (with very mature themes) when they were in middle school. As adults, they think back and can't believe they read the things they did when they were 13 or 14 years old, but they weren't negatively impacted by it.

I don't know if this is true, but I feel like young adult fiction has really grown in the last fifteen or twenty years and a generation ago kids who were strong readers commonly graduated to adult books when they 13 or 14.

My thought is that most 13 year olds who are reading at an adult level, and who have the focus to get through a 400 or 500 page paperback, are probably mature enough to be reading them. Our girls are younger, but they are extremely advanced readers and when they run into a novel that's beyond them socially or emotionally they just stop reading it.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/14/2014

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Actually, when I was 13, it wasn't a matter of what my mother would 'allow' me to read, but a matter of what I checked out at the library. And I was into horror, historic romance (well, in HS, I was), more horror, thrillers, chillers, etc. And those came chock full of sex, violence, etc.

As far as your kid, if you want to closely monitor what she's reading, do away with the Kindle, and bring back the good, old fashioned, paper novels. At least that way, you can SEE what she's into at any given time. Electronics make it very easy for our kids to hide things if they're told they can't have them. Think of it this way...back in my day, guys would take the cover off of comic books, and put a playboy inside of that cover, and think they were getting away with something...well, a Kindle, or other tech sources for reading, is just a fancy comic book cover...

If what she's reading bothers you, talk to her! Ask her why she thought those would be interesting, etc. Actually, some of those books have a heck of a plot, if you ignore the sex...I'm reading a series right now that I wouldn't have picked up normally, but the story line is awesome! I can skip the 2 or 3 paragraphs per chapter that are the sex parts, if I want.

And, as far as sharing...they all do it, all the time. I got most of my thriller books from one of my best friends...neither of our parents knew that we were that into Stephen King at that age, probably would have been mortified, but we turned out ok...

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Cynthia Allen - posted on 02/15/2014

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Yes I have taken the Kindle away for now to only be used with supervision. What a drag.
She is back to hard cover books. Thanks I know I cannot protect her from everything so I am learning how to let go. It is what it is.

Cynthia Allen - posted on 02/09/2014

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Thank you Chet.
I have bought her over 25 teen novels that include romance for her age level but she is not reading those.Instead she has down loaded 7 books which are adult and have all men with no shirts on the front cover. Two are gay male sex books.
On Kindle if you down load one book from an adult genre then the system automatically presents the same type every time you check in.
I have brought this up to my library and they are raising the isue with the on line supplier.

On one hand I don't want to censor her reading but on the other I don't want her to get frightened by what she reads or share it with other kids who are not as mature.

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