do you let your children watch H.P, Twilight, Transformers?

Kelsey - posted on 07/16/2012 ( 155 moms have responded )

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First of I am a die hard harry potter fan movies/books a die hard twilight fan BOOKS only and love transformers. I have a daughter who is 3 and shares most of these interests with me. She loves the harry potter movies and transformers and like me does not go crazy over twilight but does like to watch them. Do you think that these movies/books are too violent for your children? Side note i also read her Tales of beedle the barb as bed time stories :) she just loves the tale of the Three Brothers

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Johnny - posted on 07/17/2012

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"But I do let my children (ages 2-5) watch dinosaur and animal documentaries that do contain violence. Especially, the dinosaur docus that my son is obsessed with right now. We talk about predator/prey relationships and why the Cheetah kills the gazelle. I don't feel the need to shelter my children from the rules of the natural world"

I totally agree. The only violence on tv we allow is animal or natural world stuff. Information that builds knowledge, not that makes kids think that shooting each other is cool.

Jenny - posted on 09/03/2012

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They wouldn't be using violent virtual video games to train army personnel to be desensitized in a real life violent situation if it didn't work to help them be able to act instead of be paralyzed in shock.

Jodi - posted on 09/02/2012

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As a mental health professional, Amy, I would have thought you'd have read the studies on aggression, etc. Does Bandura ring any bells? There are plenty of very reliable studies that have been done that suggest viewing violence and aggression (and participating via video games) does indeed contribute to desensitisation as well as violent and aggressive tendencies. Those studies really can't be ignored through personal anecdotes any more than I can ignore the studies about car seat safety even though I turned out just fine being carried home from hospital in my mother's lap.

Janice - posted on 08/15/2012

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I 100% agree with Aleks' view on young children's cognitive and emotional development. What she stated is exactly what I was taught and I have my degree in Early childhood education birth-grade2 (which is about age 7). For 70K I better have been taught the right shit LOL! Young children such as the 3 year old mentioned in the OP can not distinguish between reality and fantasy even though they say "I know its just pretend, mommy."
Somewhere around age 7/8 the brain goes through big changes in regard to understanding abstract concepts - read some Piaget. So letting your mature 9 year old see PG13 movies is much different than allowing a pre-schooler to watch them. Cartoon violence is often so unrealistic that it is easier for kids to make the distinction, while live action movies truly blur the lines for little ones.

I also agree that desensitizing is an issue. I dont want my child to be less compassionate because they grew feeling that violence is the norm. My hubby grew up playing and watching whatever he wanted. His home life was not stellar either, but nothing horrific. I hate when I tell him a story that I think is so upsetting and he is like yeah, so what? Basically the only time he cares is if it involved a child since we now have children. I cant help but think that all the violence and such he was exposed to young made a difference.

Now I don't plan to completely shelter my children but my almost 3 year-old will only be allowed to watch G rated movies and cartoon PG movies for a while. Actually my hubby sometimes lets her watch cartoons meant for older kids - Adventure time - and that pisses me off. Transformers& twilight or movies like those she will be at least 8 or 9. Harry potter she will be at least 6-7 for the first one when I think she will really be able to understand and enjoy it. I dont want my kids to feel like, 'whatever I watched that kind of stuff when I was little, now I'm 9 and want to watch R rated movies'

Momma (MeMe) - posted on 08/15/2012

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Eww eww eeww, I NEED to watch Criminal Minds, now. I like seriously fucked up shit. I don't really watch TV but I am going to make a date with it, to see this show.

I agree, kids should not be watching shows/movies that are too old for them. However, a parent must determine what "too old" is. For me, I tend to stick pretty close to the ratings but not always. Such as now, I will allow my daughter to watch 14+ movies, she will be 14 very soon (I know I have been saying that all year! And she gave me crap, the other day for it, too!). LOL

I would NOT allow my son to watch what his big sister watches. He is 22 months, he watches the Treehouse channel and that is it. He doesn't like any of the 20+ movies I bought him and they are ALL Disney. No HP, in there.... ;)

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Julie - posted on 09/20/2012

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Well I'm sure my children will all be warped because we watch C.S.I. and Criminal Minds as a family.

Kristi - posted on 09/07/2012

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Aleks--



What is your point?



The only thing I could ascertain was your weak attempt to come across as intelligent as Kelly is along with an uncalled for attack on Amy. Why would you address Kelly specifically, when your only contribution was an insult. Kelly didn't insult Amy in her comment. She stated logical and reasonable information.



Yes, I am aware that my comment is also unrelated to the topic and I suppose one could find this pointless and insulting. I am also prepared for criticism so have at it.

Aleks - posted on 09/07/2012

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Kelly,

While great that you have explained why controlled studies are used and how. I would have assumed that someone who is (claiming to be ) working in the mental health area would have also studied same. As far as I am aware, one of the key aspects of studies in mental health (such as psychology, etc) is statistics - which includes principles, methods and analysis - and how studies are undertaken are key components of said studies.

It makes me think that Amy has overstated her qualifications (or is just trolling) and professional standing in her arguments.

[deleted account]

Amy, controlled studies are created to eliminate the bias. The control group is used in order to eliminate the possibility of other factors outside of the study causing the same effects in a person as the factors being studied. For example, if you are studying the effects of violent TV on individuals, you need a group of individuals with the same background because if you look at the end result, a lack of emotional attachment for example, and you have people in your control group that grew up in violent households, and people who grew up in ideal households, you will not be able to determine whether those in the violent households who experienced emotional detachment are detached because of the violent household, or the violent television/video game exposure. If they all come from ideal households, but were exposed to different levels of violence in television and video games, and the data shows a correlation to increased emotional detachment with increased violence exposure, you can reasonably conclude that the correlation is due to the TV/video game exposure.

A clinical study needs a controlled group of participants to ensure participants have similar characteristics to the public in general, and to each other in order to correlate to the general population, and to insure the factor being studied is the cause of the effect being studied.

Crystal - posted on 09/04/2012

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My kids are 9 and 10. They have saw the first 5 H.Ps the last couple are waiting till I believe they can handle them. Transformers was watched and cryed over when they hurt the good guys. But No way are they ready for Twilight. To much sex in it for them... or the sugestion of sex should say. But at 2 and 3 they watched Star Wars and The Lord of the Rinds saga.



It realy depends on the child. And what the parent thinks thier child can handle. But one thing I would say to think about is what movies they will watch in 5, 10, 15 years from now. If they watch things now that for for older kids at what age are they watching "R" rated ones?

Jodi - posted on 09/03/2012

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"Wow...you just contradicted yourself, Jodi. "



No, I didn't. My point was that your provision of anecdotal cases of your patients are NOT controlled studies. I am quite aware of what a controlled study is, and what YOU have provided so far does not represent that.



And Jenny is right, the nature/nurture jury is still out, but there is strong evidence to suggest that our temperament and personality are a result of BOTH. I am yet to see you produce a single controlled study that shows that violent video games or movies does not desensitise. All you have given so far are personal anecdotes. I'd like to see evidence of an actual study that shows this.

Aleks - posted on 09/03/2012

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I am no psychology or mental health expert, HOWEVER, I have done some statistical studies at university, and what I remember regarding "controlled" study groups is that they are there, in one way, to eliminate the BIAS one can get if using random "people of the street".



Just sayin.......



ETA:

And sometimes that bias is needed to test a theory or hypothesis, hence the use of control.

You really would be having a hard time proving or disproving any theories and hypothesies (spell?) if you didn't control for things, attempting to isolate the causes etc, for the thing you are testing! Hence it seems it would be very difficult to the analyse and extrapolate ones conclusions (and add further questions for further research, perhaps).

Jenny - posted on 09/03/2012

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"Personality is not genetic. Personality is nurture. Pre-wired is nature."



As far as I'm aware the vote on nature vs nurture is still out.



Personally I do think your personality and temperament are largely genetic. I think parents with more than one child can attest to that. I know I can. I parent both my kids the same (they're only 18 months apart) and yet there are huge differences in their personality. It was obvious to me that this was the case for when they were infants.



A simple observation, when they were 4 months or so and my husband would throw them up in the air and catch them as play. My son would tense his whole body, keep it still and rigid. My daughter would be laughing her head off as she was going up. My daughter loves adventure, is not afraid of heights and has an out going personality. My son is the complete opposite.

Again, I was able to make these observations while they were under 12months of age, I can not see how nurture would have had time to influence their personality so drastically in opposite directions in such a short space of time.

Amy - posted on 09/03/2012

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Wow...you just contradicted yourself, Jodi.



"What you are talking about are NOT controlled studies."



Controlled studies have controlled test subjects who fit pre-conceived ideas for a case study. That makes the case study biased. Controlled studies do not take random people off the street. They have to go through various mental and physical tests before they are selected to participate in a case study. Did you not learn that in Introductory to Psychology? You can continue all you like. But case studies in general are irrelevant. You, nor anyone else will convince me otherwise. Because unless case studies are done with random people who volunteer on their own, are not otherwise given any kind of testing first, people from every race, country, culture, gender, etc., the case study will be biased.

Jodi - posted on 09/03/2012

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I beg to differ. Our temperament, which contributes to our personality, is genetic.

Amy - posted on 09/03/2012

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Not everyone that I was referring to have been my patients. It should not matter if it is my particular patients or just random patients. Studies are control groups. Control groups are biased. Bias takes away from relevancy.



One particular patient of mine grew up in an abusive home, with drug addict family members (not just parents), the majority of his neighborhood were in very violently active gangs. He had witness shootings, drug deals, etc., with his own eyes. I started talking to him as a therapist when he was 16. He has never been arrested. He is now in college. His gpa is fairly high. He is someone who should have been a strong case for desensitization. He still calls me to this day whenever something tragic happens because of how scary and messed up it is. Does that sound like desensitization to you?



I am aware what pre-wired means. Personality is not genetic. Personality is nurture. Pre-wired is nature.

Jodi - posted on 09/03/2012

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Amy, when I say pre-wired, I mean our personalities are partly genetic. Environment then shapes that. And that includes violent TV and video games. I actually agree it is a combination of many things BUT I will not deny that exposure to violence can desensitise and can lead to aggressive and violent behaviour. That is fact.



If your *professional opinion* is based on controlled psychological studies, then by all means, point me in the right direction, I invite you to do so. But anecdotal studies on patient care are not controlled studies, and cannot give insight as to whether there is a higher incidence of desensitisation to violence than those who are NOT your patients......



Sorry, can I clarify, are these YOUR patients?

Amy - posted on 09/03/2012

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Why don't we agree to disagree? Because as I am a person and I know hundreds, possibly thousands of people who have had the same experiences I have had, it's not just a personal anecdote. I've worked in mental health centers. I've worked with a variety of patients. So, I can say in my professional opinion, not just based on my personal experiences, that studies are inaccurate. A lot, not all, of these instances can be attributed to parenting, personal intellect and judgment, and lack of consequences.



No one is pre-wired. If that was the case then I would be a drugged out mobster who is a member of Hell's Angels and a notorious criminal.

Jodi - posted on 09/03/2012

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*Proven*. I don't think so. We are talking theories and hypotheses, to which there is rarely proof, but rather, evidence to support or otherwise. But anyhoo.....



I was discussing a tendency to violence and aggression, not an absolute certainty. You cannot use yourself and your husband and your children as anecdotal evidence. I'm sorry, but those studies have not all been shown to have issues with receptors in the brains of the individuals, there are plenty of studies that have ALSO shown that the neuro-pathways in the brain have also changed as a result of the stimulation received by the individual during the critical periods of development. I actually have some images here of scans taken of the brain activity, and the differences that have been observed if you are at all interested.



And as a mental health professional who has done their studies, I am sure you realise that your personal anecdotes are irrelevant in proving your point. :D



Just so you know....I've done my homework :P



And as I said, it is NOT a certainty. But there is plenty of evidence to suggest that there is such a thing as desensitisation. Combination of nature and nurture. If you are pre-wired by nature, nurture will make a difference......

Amy - posted on 09/03/2012

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Jodi, it has been proven that in nearly every one of those studies there has been an issue with certain receptors in the brain of many of the individuals studied. One very big misconception a lot of people have is believing studies. Studies are done in control groups which have like minded individuals in them. For every study done, there are 100 or more that proves the opposite. Because otherwise, myself, my husband, my daughter, and nearly everyone we have grown up would have violent and aggressive tendencies.

Amy - posted on 09/02/2012

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In this day and age, this is often a hot topic. I am considered a liberal parent. I have minimal censorship on what my daughter reads, watches or listens to. She has been taught from a very young age that she is not allowed to repeat, copy, or mimic anything she sees or hears. That they are for entertainment purposes only. If parents want to keep things age appropriate then you cannot let them see any news programs or look at the newspaper. You can't let them out of your house.



And for parents who claim that growing up watching violent tv, reading violent books, or listening to violent music desensitizes people to real life situations, that is not the case. I grew up in a violent family. I watched violent tv shows and movies. I've played violent video games. I served on jury duty this past January. I've seen real life video footage and heard audio footage of a shooting. I am not desensitized one bit. I had nightmares every night for weeks over that. Parents need to step up and be parents. And that isn't aimed at anyone in particular either but that is an epidemic throughout the country and possibly world.

Kristi - posted on 08/23/2012

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OMG, Jane!!! I LOVE SHEMAR MOORE!!! The backround on my cell phone is a picture of him! My daughter just sighs and shakes her head at me. I would sooo love to be Derek's BFF like Garcia. (of course I would be having evil, dirty thoughts about what level I'd like to take our friendship to...hahaha) That's so cool you can download it and watch it whenever you want. I would probably try to record the whole season and watch them all in a row. Last Christmas my sister and her husband brought over the first season of Modern Family, which our family had never seen because it runs opposite of CM. I never laughed so hard in my life. It was great not to have to wait a week to see each episode and the added plus of no commercials. Needless to say, my daughter and I rented Season 2 and spent a whole day and night watching it. (we took the obvious breaks for food and for the potty!) It would be so intense to watch CM like that!



Anyhoo, just a little off topic. lol Welcome to the club! : )

Loren - posted on 08/22/2012

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well I let 1 of my children watch all of them all of the nether ones I don't I let them watch transformers that is it

Kristi - posted on 08/21/2012

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MeMe--

So glad to hear you are addicted to CM! I'm soooo excited to have another BAU lover to discuss the show with! lol Woot-Woot!

So what's this Breaking Bad show about? Who's in it? I might like to check it out!

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 08/21/2012

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I have lived in Canada for over a year and finally got around to watching The Rick Mercer Report. I loved it!

Momma (MeMe) - posted on 08/21/2012

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OK, we have since watched 4 Criminal Minds episodes and we are addicted!! LOL Absolutely excellent, show. Thanks guys for pointing me toward such a mind blowing show.... ;)

Now, I have also come across another show, called Breaking Bad. I was told and the reviews say, it is awesome.

So, we are going to switch between the two. We now have 150 or so episodes of Criminal minds to watch! Needless to say, I have not been on COM as much at night... LOL

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 08/20/2012

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No one needs to worry about Twilight at my house I never got into it and my husband says that Vampires shouldn't glitter and glow. I always want to attack Robert Pattinson's character with some self tanner when I see previews.

Dh is currently playing the Halo 10th anniversary edition just to get ideas on texturing and to see how much CGI have changed since the game first came out. He's really annoying when he decides he has to show and explain the differences in details.

Loren - posted on 08/20/2012

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I am the same but I don't love transformers yes I do think it is violent for children don't let her watch twilight you need to be 12 years of old

Loren - posted on 08/20/2012

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yes that's what you are what you need to do note many many of you talking of teenagers and pre-teens

Janice - posted on 08/17/2012

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I think its important to note that many of you are talking about teenagers and pre-teens watching violence on regular basis which is different than preschoolers watching violence on a regular basis. Also I dont think of desensitizing as making the crime rate go up, I more think that when violence happens those involved or those hearing about just don't give a fuck. So may be the 20 year old that is witnessing a violent act would be concerned and think OMG what should I do or maybe they will think this is fucking awesome to watch. That's just my 2 cents.
My hubby does play PVP Call of Duty when my daughter is up and really it just looks like dad is runny around. There is no gore or discussion of killing. Yet another game he has you are detective and in that they show detailed crime scenes and discuss murder and rape in words my almost 3 year old can understand. That game has never been allowed while she is awake. Not because I worry she will be frightened but because I dont want her brain to process things like rape and murder as just a video game or hum drum. When she is old enough to truly, truly understand the seriousness of violence (8-9) I will be less worried about her viewing such things. Of course if she does become easily frightened then they will still be banned but if she likes that type of thing then I'm sure her and daddy will bond over playing or watching such things together.

Momma (MeMe) - posted on 08/17/2012

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Ah, that is all of Canada. If you look at specific Provinces and each City, you will see that in some, where there used to be a high rate, it has declined. In others (like mine) it used to be a lower crime rate and it has since climbed, in the past 10 years or so.



So, even though, as a whole, our crime rates have declined. It does not mean that per city, it is the same response. As, I mentioned above, some cities may be doing much better than before and others worse than they were before. Thus giving a general overall average of declination. It is just not so, for the 400 000 person city, I live in. Although, with that said. This year is slightly lower for crime rates, than last, where I live. It has yet to, though, take us out of the 2nd most crime ridden city in Canada. ;(



I will also say, that even though we are at that ranking. I do not see a lot of violence. You need to be in those places, that they regularly occur, to be a witness. Halifax is actually, an absolutely beautiful city and rarely, if ever do you see any crime. You only hear about it. Again, we have some areas, you do not want to frequent but people normally don't, unless they are drug users. However, these crimes have been moving to our downtown pub and bar scenes. Which, is not a good thing, IMO.



ETA:

Info for the city, I live in. Which also includes what has declined in Canada and what actually, went up.



According to Statistics Canada, the numbers of some crimes, such as attempted murders, assaults and break-ins, were down in Canada from 2010. But there was a boost in other serious offences in 2011, including homicides, which were up by seven per cent.



http://thechronicleherald.ca/novascotia/...

Jenni - posted on 08/17/2012

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If I may interject here, in Canada most crime rates (particularly violent crimes) has been steadily decreasing since 1991 according to statistics Canada:

"Crime rates in Canada are continuing to fall, according to Statistics Canada which reported that the overall volume of crime dipped six per cent in 2011. In the same year, Canadian police services recorded about two million Criminal Code incidents (excluding traffic) - this represents a drop of about 110,000 incidents from 2010. Statistics Canada has reported declines in crime for most offences including homicide, sexual offences and drug offences. Canada's crime rate has been declining steadily since 1991."

Youth Crimes in Canada continue to decrease:

http://www.statcan.gc.ca/pub/85-002-x/20...

And according to the National Post we are experiencing the lowest crime rate in 40 years:

http://news.nationalpost.com/2012/07/24/...

We all know how violent Pong, Astroids and Pac Man were....

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 08/17/2012

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I live in the largest city in the Okanagan, aside from arson fires and a gang related shooting last year nothing happens. When I lived back in Rochester the crime rate fluctuated. One year- I believe in was in 2005 we had more shootings than NYC. From what I've heard violent crime is going down in Canada. Despite the recent shootings in Toronto.

I do agree that it has more to do with drugs and parenting than with just what someone is watching on tv. Even if you play a FPS your brain waves are only temporarily altered, not permanently. I believe it's a cop out to just find one thing to blame for any incident when there are so many other factors to consider.

Momma (MeMe) - posted on 08/17/2012

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Actually, I do agree that violence has peaked over the past so many years. We live in the 2nd most crime ridden city in Canada (per Capita). I did not know this, until the other day and I damn near fell over.

It is mostly young adults and youth, that are causing the problems. I do agree, as well, that what is watched on TV/Games, does not help. However, I do not believe it is the large reason for it. IMO, the biggest reason are drugs and parents that do NOT control their children. We often have someone that was beat to a pulp downtown, due to heavy drinking and drug use. Other times it is the drug gangs fighting each other (which is often in their own territory, thank god).

So, I do think violence on TV play a small role but I do not think it is big contributor. Parents are.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 08/16/2012

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It depends on which country you get your news from too. I'm from the US but I live in Canada. I still watch GMA because it was something my mom and I did and Global BC (A news station in my province) gets boring after a while. I've noticed that American news stations and reporters tend to sensationalize events a lot more than Canadian news stations.

For example last month when needles were found in turkey sandwiches on one airline Global BC reported that there were needles found in sandwhiches and one man was injured, but not seriously. About 1/2 an hour later on GMA the same news story was reported but they called it 'a possible terrorist attack'. Talk about a turn around in reporting styles.

I also wonder if more news stories are reporting violence because it's what grabs attention. No one pays much attention to the news if people keep saying, crime is down or teenager helps elderly at soup kitchen.

I'm currently watching a peice on CBCNN about Teenage brains. I'll see if I can share that later. I have to head to bed anyway because my 17 month old is a light sleeper. At least my 7 year old is at a friend's for the night.

Aleks - posted on 08/16/2012

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http://www.police.vic.gov.au/content.asp...
Click to open the PDF file (page 19, figure 21) I believe this is the statistics that were discussed in the newspaper (hardcopy) I read with regards to the increase in violent crime, especially in the last 10yrs as it is not the 2-5yrs I mentioned (I wonder if that was the statistic just for the central business district of the city, and not the whole state that they were claiming ? I cannot remember).
And, you may be right re media exageration, as it appears the increased reporting of family violence has added the spike (at least at this point in time).
The overall increase was around 30% (which they did report in the media quite loudly)

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 08/16/2012

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I highly doubt that can be laid soley on what kids watch on TV or play or read. There are a lot of other factors to take in when figuring out why violence is so much more rampant in America. It's actually unfounded to blame it on video games and movies though. In fact research has shown that violence has actually decreased in the past 20 years as sales of violent video games have increased. I even have links to prove it.

http://www.gameinformer.com/b/news/archi...

http://kotaku.com/5814601/violent-video-...

http://www.npr.org/2012/01/03/144627627/...

So I don't know where you're getting that violent crime has gone up when I have 3 sources- the most recent from January of this year- that show that reports of violent crime have gone down in the past 20 years. Maybe the media just likes the extra hype.

I already posted this, but it bears repeating when my husband went to school to learn how to design video games (he's a 3D modeler for non organics and does game concepts) They studied sociology and pyschological effects on people who play video games and have found that a video game in the long run has no more effect on the human brain than a book or video game. I have also already posted that a book, video game or movie can not MAKE someone do something that they didn't intend to do already.

I would also rather my child know how to defend herself and know how to react in a crisis. Of course playing a video game or watching Transformers won't do that. But having the knowledge that you may have to have a cool head in a tricky situation (such as getting hurt badly or seeing a friend hurt ) can help keep a situation from going from bad to worse. She had to learn that last month after she tore her hand up at the playground. She did a great job even though she was bleeding pretty badly

Aleks - posted on 08/16/2012

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Momma (MeMe):

"I would not want my kids desensitized to violence. Simply because if they ever do find themselves in a predicament where there is violence occurring, I would want them to get the heck out of there. Rather than, either, become a target, too or become an implicated person of the violence (assault or what have you).



I think if a child becomes desensitized, they may not have an issue with beating the pulp out of another person or in the least viewing it and having no emotions, during or thereafter. That IS scary to me and not how I want my kids to be. "

And:

"Simply viewing and playing "violent" movies/video games, is not going to prepare you for a "real" life situation. It is simply going to allow you to not find violence "gory" and therefore may enable a person to commit violence or be a by-stander to violence and not have much emotion. I am talking the person either being the instigator or a by-stander within a small group of "friends", not being in a room of strangers and watching them get pumped full of bullets. These are two very different situations and the latter would require training to be able to remain calm and not freak out."







This is exactly what is happening almost EVERDAY and definitively EVERY WEEKEND in the city where I live (and also in just about every major city in my country). Finally enough, young people go out and get heavily intoxicated and then instigate fights that on more occasions, than we would all like, end with someone beaten to a pulp (lying in a hospital with broken bones, faces, eye sockets, busted spleens, etc etc or even in a coma ) or worse still, dead. And then the remorseful (or many a times, not) young perpetrator (usually under 25yo) is sitting in court, after being on the run, answering the charges. 2 or more lives ruined from a night out. Frequently it involves youth brought up in middle-classes, went to private schools, etc. Every year the violent crimes (especially stats involving assaults) have been sky-rocketing in my state! 30% increase in the last 2-5yrs. And they have been going up and up, every year for the past 10 or more years.

We (my generation) used to go out, drink a lot... and yes, occasionally fights happened. But not like this! Many a time, reading a court report, a fight is started purely for entertainment. Parties are gate-crashed purely to start trouble with party-goers inside. Gate-crashers looking for fights. On many an occasion it is done to cause mayhem and chaos to the neighbourhood - on numerous occasions neighbours have repored the unruly party to the police as they had been either assulted or threatened with assult.



To me it screams the results of frequent violence witnessed (in TV, movies and games) from a young age. Mix high levels of alcohol, brain filled with violent images, a generation who had spent more time watching and playing games on TV than outside (cos its too dangerous) and VIOLA! But that is just my (simplified) opinion.

Kristi - posted on 08/16/2012

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MeMe--

Glad you found Criminal Minds! If you like thrillers/pyschological thrillers you will love this show! I will save my comments and opinions about cast members, etc. until you've had a chance to get your feet wet. ; ) I can't wait to hear your reviews!

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 08/16/2012

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LOl You know you might have ADHD and not have a diagnosis. DH was only diagnosed with ADHD, auditory processing disability and Dyslexia at 23. BTW he is allergic to bell peppers hence why he can suck on one.

For me there are books I can't read because of certain things that happen (Ann Rinaldi's The Letter Writer comes to mind as it is about the Slave Rebellion of 1832) I just can't read or watch some things because they keep replaying in my mind.

Braveheart keeps coming up because the last time I visited a friend of mine her husband decided to watch it. Then the next day he tried to gross me out by telling me scenes from the movie and re-living combat medic classes he took. Now, I may be a chicken, but I'm not squeamish. I shot back telling him about really nasty bed sores and changing colostomy bags at work. And the time my older daughter threw up on me. All we succeeding in doing is making my friend queasy. It was kinda fun.

Momma (MeMe) - posted on 08/16/2012

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Oh Megan, Braveheart is SOOO good!! I really really enjoyed that movie and I am not much of a movie fan. I cannot sit still long enough, I get too bored, unless I am restricted to a theatre seat! LOL



And, no, I do not have ADHD (just addressing, me not being able to sit still, for TV or a movie). I just have a never ending mind. I rarely watch TV, let alone movies. Which is why I am a keen internet user, instead. It keeps my mind moving and when I get bored, I can go research something of interest. ;)



Also, a similar thing happened to me when I was about 4. My Dad made me watch Jaws and Nightmare on Elm Street. I damn near crapped myself and from then on, as a kid, I was scared. My Mom brought me to watch the Gremlins in the theatre (around age 7) and I was so scared, I thought there was one under my seat, the entire time! LOL



Now, I prefer scary, thriller type shows and/or movies. As long as my husband is home that night (and not working), otherwise, I am up all night running up and down the stairs, thinking I heard something and having to go and check on it (with all the lights on, of course). haha Except paranormal stuff, I cannot do it. I love it but my mind plays bad tricks on me and I would not sleep for weeks. So, I keep myself away from those shows. ;)



**edited for clarification**

Jenny - posted on 08/16/2012

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Thanks for exploring the thought ladies. I like hearing what your guys have to say.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 08/16/2012

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Vey true Meme. Dh studied sociology and psychology while in class for his video game design classes. They have found that video games have no more effect on a person than a book or TV show meaning that you should watch your child if you do decide to allow them to try something a little more mature. I'm not saying that to persuade someone to think like me or parent like me. I just think it's interesting to note that people who are in entertainment do have to study the basics of human behaivour.



I do understand that even though people are different we're also the same in some ways. When taking a game or a movie into consideration with a rating higher than for your child you have to take your child's maturity level and personality into consider. A parent such as myself who has allowed her child to play a game with a more restrictive rating should also be prepared to notice if her child is showing any affects from playing a FPS or watching older fantasy violence. If the child is having nightmares, showing violent tendancies or seems aggitated then the parent's responsibility is to address the issue and maybe stop allowing the child to play the game or watch the movie they chose by themself if at all.



I'd never coerce either of my children into doing something that scared them. I still remember my aunt taking my brother and I to see Robin Hood Prince of Theives when I was 10 and I stared at the floor most of the time because I just didn't like that movie. I won't even watch Braveheart now! DH teases that I'm overly sensitive, but he can go suck on a pepper.

Momma (MeMe) - posted on 08/16/2012

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I do agree, that it is up to the parents to make the decision. I don't agree because no person is alike, as there are several studies documenting that violence on a child can be very harmful. No person may be alike, in personality but for the most part, our brains work very similarly. How it transmits the outgoing data, may differ from the person beside us, due to their environment and personality.



However, a parent knows their child the best. They are there to view the reaction of their little one, when they are subjected. So, they need to be the ones to say "nah" or "yah". I do agree, with this. I do not agree with the parent (and there are many - not here in this Community, though) that continue to force the child, when the child has shown distress. This to me is very careless and it is what worries me the most, when it comes to children watching violence on TV/Movie/Games.



For us, I just don't go there. However, we don't have any reason to. In your home, your husband is a gamer and is looking to help build/create them, as a career. So, you do have a reason/purpose for them in your home. Every family is different (I will agree, here), therefore it is up to the parents to decide on what they will and won't allow.



I also do not keep my children on a non-violent/sexual viewing course, only because of the evidence out there via psychologists and studies. I mainly do it because I just do not see a need for it. They will hear/witness, enough stupidity in their lives, as they grow older. I am more interested in keeping my kids as innocent as I can. Kids should just be kids, IMO and not be subjected to fake and/or extreme negative scenarios. Therefore, I do my best to keep everything age appropriate, which includes using ratings, as a well defined general guidance.



Again, it depends on the family and the intent, as well as the reaction to each individual in the home.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 08/16/2012

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True, but then again you have to go by the factor that each person is different and will react differently to everything. Look at children with ADD and ADHD (I know your daughter has it so I'm using it as an example) no two cases are alike so what works for one child won't work for another. It's the same way with how one 7 year old thinks hunting zombies is cool and another one feigns interest in the floor the entire time that video game or movie is on. I'm a care aide and I'm used to blood, vomit ect ect. I had a woman have a mini maul seizure on me last year and I was calm enough to just call her CHN and then wait for the ambulance to give them the information I knew. I am terrible though when one of my own kids hurts herself. So it's even hard to tell how the same person will react each time to a crisis.

Appearantly even military personnel aren't easily desensitized either, many suffer from various forms of PSTD. Some could be brought about by not being completely desensitized to violence. I know my dad suffered from PSTD after coming back from Vietnam and he was only a pilot.

As far as FPS go Halo is pretty mild IMO. There's some blood of course, but not excessive. The aliens don't even explode if a plasma grenade attaches to them. Come to think of it no one explodes. There is also no nudity and very minimal swearing. I think the worst on there is 'son of a bitch' and I haven't heard it that often. It's more 'Killtastic' and 'Killtacular'! It's the only FPS M rated game I allow DH to play when our 7 year old is awake and running back and forth through the house. It's also the only one she's played (about 5 times and we've lived here for a year). If you go one on one with someone, there's really not much to see-especially if you can't play video games in the first place. My daughter drowned her character more times than she even got through the maze so her friend just kept shooting the warthog (one of the vehicles in the game).

But it just depends on how you establish boundaries with your kids and what you deem too violent and too mature. My MIL who didn't monitor my husband's video games now freaks out over what our daughter watches though which is funny. DH and I have friends who allow their 7 year old to play left 4 Dead and Gears of War. My daughter is almost 8 and too sensitive for games like that so I won't let her play them- DH knows that and won't play those games when she's around. I don't even like those games so I tend not to be around when they're being played.

Momma (MeMe) - posted on 08/16/2012

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Yes, however, being in the military is completely different than being a regular citizen. Those that are in the military are succumb to this type of "reality" frequently. Therefore, it is "normal" for them. For someone that does not live in that lifestyle, regularly, I do not agree they would ever be prepared for a terribly violent situation.

One must remember that it was not just the violence that made everyone freak out. The sheer terror of those around them, also makes a person "freak" out. Emotions are a powerful thing and when it comes to a room filled of multiple scared people, you would have to have some training to stay calm in that sort of scenario.

Simply viewing and playing "violent" movies/video games, is not going to prepare you for a "real" life situation. It is simply going to allow you to not find violence "gory" and therefore may enable a person to commit violence or be a by-stander to violence and not have much emotion. I am talking the person either being the instigator or a by-stander within a small group of "friends", not being in a room of strangers and watching them get pumped full of bullets. These are two very different situations and the latter would require training to be able to remain calm and not freak out.

I mean, I could play Halo or whatever violent game there is out there (I don't know them, as I do not agree with them), every single day and waking moment and it is still not going to prepare me, to be in a room of bullets flying and killing those around me. I guarantee, I would be freaking out and trying to figure out how the hell to get out of there. I surely would not grow balls all of a sudden because I am used to watching violence on TV or from a game.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 08/16/2012

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Actually Meme I was having this conversation with DH the other night. He figures if you're slightly desensitized to violence you'd be less likely to freak out in case of a violent situation such as the CO shooting last month. DH pointed out that the military personnel who were in that shooting acted as they had been trained and protected the people they were with from being harmed.

Momma (MeMe) - posted on 08/16/2012

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I don't know, for me, I can see the positive side to it for the military. Since, they will [more than likely] at some point be in the midst of a lot of violence. Honestly, I do not see a need to even try to desensitize children or the regular population to violence. Since, it is not a normal day-to-day life experience. My daughter has NEVER seen real violence. Any she has ever came in contact with is on TV or in movies and to be frank, she does not like it.



If we were heading for a war, in Canada, then maybe we would want to start desensitizing people (including kids) but it is a very unlikely scenario.



I don't believe nor do I condone any form of violence in our home. Of course, my daughter is of an age where I do not monitor heavily, what she views. Mainly because she has her preferences and violence, sex and indecent material, is not her forte.



ETA:

I would not want my kids desensitized to violence. Simply because if they ever do find themselves in a predicament where there is violence occurring, I would want them to get the heck out of there. Rather than, either, become a target, too or become an implicated person of the violence (assault or what have you).



I think if a child becomes desensitized, they may not have an issue with beating the pulp out of another person or in the least viewing it and having no emotions, during or thereafter. That IS scary to me and not how I want my kids to be.

Jenny - posted on 08/16/2012

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Ok, this is going to sound totally random to a lot of you. If you are interested, just go with me, if not, just ignore this post.



Just a random thought about all this. I remember seeing a doco about a certain violent video game that was originally made for the military to train soldiers to be desensitized to the sight of blood and violence. Why? So that they are not put in shock mode (fight or flight) and can actually asses the situation logically and critically and decide what appropriate action needs to be taken.



So taking this into consideration, just wondering, is there some good that could come out of desensitizing kids to violence/blood?

(And just in case you're worried, I do not go against current expert advice and let my kids watch violent shows because of this thought I have, but I'm just curious whether you think there could be a positive side to desensitizing.

Momma (MeMe) - posted on 08/16/2012

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Well, I am currently downloading all the Criminal Mind seasons. We will start from season 1 and go from there... YEEHAA

I will let ya know, Kristi, if we like it. I am sure I will, hopefully my husband does, too. ;)

Anna Del C - posted on 08/16/2012

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My grandchildren are 8 and under. They do not watch twilight and only cartoons transformers. The 8 year old has read all the Harry P. books and seen the movies. His parents put that rule for them and I agree. They read the books first and then watch the movies.
I believe that they are to grown up for a three years old. They are too many cute things for a little girl to see over those. Don't make her grow up so soon. She will only be your little girl for like 8 years after that she will try to find herself and all those other movies and books will help her. For now enjoy her a little girl. She will be your friend for the rest of her life after 8 years old and then you can watch grown up movies and read grown up books together. :)

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 08/16/2012

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Well there's always Youtube or A&E because they are ALWAYS showing criminal minds. Especially Sundays. *cringe*

LOL Thank you Kristi :)

Momma (MeMe) - posted on 08/16/2012

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Damn it, that means I missed it last night! I was gonna do a search today, to see when it was on. Now, I have to wait.... **walks away crying**

Kristi - posted on 08/16/2012

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Well I've just about had my fill in here. Too much hypocrisy by Aleks, too many people telling too many other people they suck as parents for letting their child(ren) watch such movies. No, nobody said those exact words but it's easily ascertained from some, not all, other comments. I have stated my opinion and my beliefs too many times. If you care, look back. I'm done engaging in petty arguements and will no longer participate in such. (not because I'm insecure or intimidated by anyone but because it is irrelevant.)

Megan--

You go girl! ; )

MeMe--

I love Criminals Minds! It's my favorite. (of course I would watch just because I think Shemar Moore is everything a woman could want. MMMMM....GOOD! lol) The 8th season starts in Sept. but you can catch reruns on right now or on other stations at different times, etc. It is on Wed at 9pm, unless they bumped it to the 10pm slot. Give it a whirl and tell me what you think!

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