Do you talk to your kids about RACE

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 08/12/2010 ( 58 moms have responded )

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Do you talk to your kids about race? Or maybe where you’re from there is no need for it? how important do you feel it is?



Well on CNN they had a segment about race and how well it is discussed in homes…



In my home race is discussed but my family is very blended.

Im sure you all can tell that I am Black, My husband is South Korean, he and I have a 4month old together and I have a boy from my previous relationship, he is 7. He considerers my husband his dad, when he was two almost 3 he asked why he looked different then my husband and I told him because he is Korean, but he is the same just like you because he is a boy…(he was three so I tried to keep it simple) i have had plenty other talks with him sense then....

My sister’s husband is white, and my cousin is dating his best friend who is white. My husband’s friends are Black, Samoan, Cambodian, Korean, White, Mexican, African (from Africa) and we are always doing something with them all because they all have kids. And their are birthday parties, BBQ’s, just gatherings, hanging out at the park for no reason, but just to hang out. So my son and niece and nephew are very aware that there are people that are not the same as them, but that are just as good as they are and that they are to treat them nicely, with respect. So not only do we discuss it we show it as well by the people we are around…..





http://ac360.blogs.cnn.com/2010/08/11/co...

http://ac360.blogs.cnn.com/2010/08/11/ki...

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Isobel - posted on 08/12/2010

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I kinda' think of it like the sex talk though...if you don't give them the truth (everybody is equal...and not everybody knows that) when they give you the opportunity, then you are leaving them to get their information from their friends...and who knows what kind of asshole raised their friends.

Iris - posted on 08/14/2010

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In an all white family people hardly ever encounter racism against them, while both bi-racial and other minority families might do frequently. For this reason I think that both bi-racial and other minority families are ready with the “speech”, what to tell their children and how to rise above it. Some decide to prepare their children, some decide to be ready with the speech for the first time when their child comes home after being bullied because of their race.



As a mother of two bi-racial children, I read them many books on different races and different people: Not everyone looks like us and not everyone lives like us, some people are broken on the outside but whole on the inside.

When both my daughters started daycare (6 years apart), within a week they came home telling me I was pink and they were brown and daddy was dark brown, because some child had told them that their mom didn’t look like them and their dad didn’t either. So that meant another explanation, because mommy’s skin is so light and daddy’s is so much darker yours is in between, “you got the best of both of us”.



My older daughter has ones been called a nigger. She got very confused because she didn’t know what it meant while her friends got upset and told her it was an “ugly word for being black”. I don’t know if I should have prepared her for that, we had decided not to and I think we did the right thing. She came home crying asking if she was a “nigger, ugly black person”. We told her “No, she was beautiful, it is a bad word just like any other bad word that is used in anger or jealousy”. Our motto is (as parents of bi-racial children): “Don’t let one word define you or take control of your life”.



I do think that parents should talk about different races and cultures to their children. It shows the children that it is normal to be different. Why not? We teach our children about sex, and drugs are bad for you. This is just another way to help them on the right track. In the end nothing weights more than parents opinion. We shape our children and if we don’t, someone else will and then whether it is good or bad is up to them.

Sharon - posted on 08/12/2010

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Well, we're japanese, cherokee indian and a mish mash of various white races.

We live in a military community and there is a wide variety of cultures & races. We also live in one of the biggest tourists towns in the state.

Out of 3 kids - only one wanted to know why that person had brown skin. I explained that they were from a different country and most of the people there look like them (not true because true afrikaans(sp?) are much darker but it was simplified rather than explain slavery, mixing of races, blah blah blah .

She was satisfied with that answer.

My kids have friends all different skin colors they don't think anything of it. Then again - I didn't think anything of it when I was a kid.

I have NEVER seen race made such a big deal out of - EXCEPT HERE ON THIS FORUM.

OH and one really stupid ass blog by a bi-racial woman who claimed she had a confused identity because she was part asian & part black. stop whining bitch.

[deleted account]

Kati, I know you weren't addressing me here, but I'd like to chime in. I agree about what everyone is saying about we are all just people and children don't see the differences in a negative way. If only we could erase all the effects of racism and classism and sexism (and whatever other ism you want to add) then they would stay innocent forever.

But that fact is racism is still all around (here, anyway). It is inevitable that my sweet little daughter will encounter racists attitudes and she will have questions about it. I vividly remember when I was in Kindergarten a 5th grader on the bus taught me a song that included the lyrics, "shot a n*****". Not knowing what it meant, I sang it to my dad, who then had the unpleasant task of explaining that is a dirty, mean word to make fun of black people. "But why would anyone want to do that Daddy?" There...you can't get out of talking about the race issue. I know that happened over 20 years ago and things are getting better, but that attitude is still around.

Only recently (within the past 3 years) a nearby high school has stopped having segregated Proms. Until a few years ago, my own high school would elect a white president and black president for each class, a white Prom queen and black Prom queen, etc. Our differences were thrust in our faces, so it was hard to ignore. When I was in college there was a huge ordeal over some idiots thinking it would be great to make a Confederate rebel flag in our school colors. When the Black Student Union staged a protest, they were shut down by the school. Supposedly for their safety, but they wouldn't stop people from waving offensive flags because that fell under free speech. I have a hard time believing that the decision wasn't based on race, even if it was done so unconsciously.

So that is where I'm coming from in my opinion. Yes, we are all people. But there are so many problems in our world (or my world) because of what people did in the past. And it takes so long for those wrongs to be healed and for people's attitudes to change. I guess where I live, the chances of my daughter encountering the issue is about 99.9% and the chances of your kids encountering the issue is much smaller.

Rosie - posted on 08/12/2010

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but ebony why would they be shocked at a different color. it's around them all the time. i do live in a predominantly white area, so i do see your point a little, but my kids have just never made a big deal out of it. i don't want to make a big deal out of it either. i don't make a big deal out of people who have red hair even though that's pretty uncommon, i just don't see the point in automatically making someone different before my kids have had that thought yet. if and when they do have a question of course i;ll answer their questions and explain the differences to them. but until then i'd rather not implant the idea that black people are different than them in any way shape or form.

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Jaime - posted on 08/14/2010

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Has anyone seen the movie 'Corrina Corrina'. There is a scene in the movie where the two girls are playing together and sitting in a tree. The white girl asks the black girl if she tastes like chocolate and the black girl asks the white girl if she tastes like vanilla..and then they lick each other just to see. My point in mentioning this is to demonstrate what I believe to be the true nature of a child's curiosity about race. It's pure, innocent and simple. They don't complicate race--we do. I will make sure my son knows about diversity and the fact that there will be other boys and girls in his class room with darker skin and different hair styles and lengths etc, but it doesn't change the fact that we all have beating hearts and blood running through our veins. In this day and age, it's hard to come by a person of pure heritage as multi-culturalism has taken a strong hold in the world. I don't see race as a 'don't ask don't tell issue' in my home and I'll be open to any and all discussions with my son once he's able to form sentences.

Lucy - posted on 08/14/2010

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I think this topic depends on where you live, and the situations that might arise.

We live in a pretty mixed area, racially, and my kids have friends who are black, white, asian, mixed, whatever. We have never come across a situation where it was an issue, but we do talk to our kids about manners, tolerance, and treating people the way we would like to be treated. If we saw a situation where someone was being mistreated because of their race, of course we would talk about it with our kids in more specific terms.

When it comes to the topic of kids being "different" from their peers, race isn't the only thing to consider. My 4 year old daughter is already aware that we are a different religion from just about all of her friends, because we celebrate different festivals and have some different customs. But I don't think it bothers her, she finds it quite interesting to find out about what other people do and to share what we do. So far she has not encountered any negative attitudes, but I'm sure she will at some point.

When it comes to race I don't think either of my kids have thought about it. They certainly haven't asked why one friend is a different colour from another. In fact, one of ivy's best friends is bi-racial (mum is white, dad is black) and her innocence made everyone at playgroup laugh when she said "me and Cody are best friends, because we look just the same!" It seemed ridiculous to us that this very white, blue eyed blonde girl should say that she looks the same as a fairly dark skinned, dark eyed boy, but the comparison seemed obvious to her because they both have very tight curly hair!

[deleted account]

That's what I hope. My middle daughter has been known to berate a bus-driver when he didn't help an old lady with a walker. He wasn't even going to stop, but my daughter pulled the emergency cord and made him stop, got out, helped her on, got back on the bus herself, then gave the bus-driver what for. Got all the other passengers backing her up, then put in a complaint to his company!

I sure wouldn't want to be dealing out racist comments when she's around!!

Tah - posted on 08/14/2010

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exactly kathy..so if your kids are with someone who is experiencing it or heaven forbid the one practicing it
they can step up...they can know its wrong and why it's wrong...

[deleted account]

I haven't experienced racism, thankfully, so I don't have the personal experience. Bringing up my kids in a small place like Tasmania, where there is not much multiculturalism at all, meant that our kids had no experience of racism, either. But we still talked about people, their differences, their similarities, the challenges and excitement of varying cultures and religions, and how other people often react to differences. We also talked about events in the news - newspapers were always big in our family.

I think we gave them a good grounding for when they came across race issues. One daughter now lives in Sydney, one in Melbourne, where there is plenty of racism, especially against people from various middle eastern countries. No-one from our family has experienced racism, but they've seen it. Hopefully, although they haven't experienced racism, we've given them enough feelings of humanity and decency to cope and to help others when confronted by racism.

Tah - posted on 08/14/2010

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i think that people who haven't experienced racism or may not practice it may think there is no need to discuss it, if they dont mention it then it will be ok and hey, it doesn't affect them and probably never will, so it's not a talk that the need to have right?....others may not have that luxury, someone is talking to there children about it because these are 6 year olds that are calling others niggers, they are getting it from somewhere. it is sad but it is true...

Rosie - posted on 08/13/2010

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never thought of it that way sara, definitely see the need for it back then, now....not so much!! :)

[deleted account]

That's interesting Kati! Thanks for sharing.



I'm not going to get into specifics, but here is a little history mixed with my own opinions as to why we are still where we are in the South. Our economy back in the day was cash crops and farming. Running a plantation requires a ton of workers. Slaves were brought over (and there were a lot of northerners involved in slave trade, they just didn't need the slaves because their economy didn't require the workforce). Anyway, when the representation issue came up (do slaves count as citizens for a representative in congress) that is when the Civil War broke out and the slavery issue took a moral focus and was sensationalized. I'm sure you know all this, but I'm just setting up. So after the war when the slaves were freed, many of them stayed with their owners as paid workers. Many left, but couldn't find work and lived in poverty. This lead to crime so they could simply eat. The south's economy crumbled because well, go from not paying 100 people to having to. So there was resentment among white people towards black people because of money and rise in crime. To feel proactive in gaining back some pride, organizations like the KKK was formed and lashed out against what they saw as the problem, since they very well couldn't come across a yankee to hang (they'd all gone back north), they took it out on black people. Wrong, very wrong. Then of course came along separate but equal and finally desegregation and civil rights. Our little community complied very well with all these changes. When the schools were desegregated they put in place things like "White President" and "Black President" to make sure the black kids were getting the same opportunities. That was back in the 60's. I graduated in 02 and that was still the policy. It takes a while for things to change. When the school got a new principal they finally saw that the policy was causing more harm than good and did away with it. Now, some years there is a white pres, white queen, and some years there is a black. The kids have been fabulous. Things are changing. But in the 60's, there probably wouldn't have been a black class pres. even close to being voted in. So, if you just read through all those ramblings, thanks, gqtm! I know it's oversimplified. But by knowing the history you can kind of see where stupid things like white and black prom queen come from.



So yes, we've made strides considering where we used to be. But we've a long way to go.

Rosie - posted on 08/13/2010

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oh you're not crazy sara!!!! your experiences lead you to make your decisions, mine have led me to make mine. i can totally see your perspective especially after you gave all the examples that you have given. seperate prom queen and kings? are you fucking kidding me?!!! that shit would just not fly up here at all. i'm proud to live where i live! :) iowa's history involving equality is revolutionary to me. we sent the most troops out of any state, north or south during the civil war. In 1855, Iowa became the first public university in the United States to admit men and women on an equal basis.



The university was one of the first institutions in America to grant a law degree to a woman (Mary B. Hickey Wilkinson, 1873), to grant a law degree to an African American (G. Alexander Clark, 1879), and to put an African American on a varsity athletic squad (Frank Holbrook, 1895).



The university was the first state-university to officially recognize the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, and Allied Union (1970). Additionally, Iowa was the first Big Ten institution to promote an African American to an administrative vice president’s position (Dr. Phillip Hubbard, promoted in 1966).

[deleted account]

We've found the common ground then! I'm sure people think I'm crazy for my view on this, but given what goes on around here, I can't help but to stick by it. I love the South, I really do. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. But we've got a dark history here (unintentional pun).

[deleted account]

Children do see differences - I have always been around people of different races BUT I knew that they were different it just didn't matter to me that they were!

When I got married I had 4 flower girls (my 3 new nieces and my cousin) one of my nieces was 6 at the time and had NEVER seen a black person up close before (my cousin is mixed race black/white) and she had questions the best one was 'Does it go ALL the way up?' on seeing my cousins arms and legs while trying on her dress, now she did not mean it offensively it was just her first experience of a black person and she wanted to understand - we explained yes it does same as your skin goes all the way up.

Rosie - posted on 08/13/2010

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i will agree with that sara, if they see someone being treated differently, then i will definitely throw in the discussion about racism and history. but so far i've been lucky to not see racism in person, only on the internet. which is also another reason why my children will never have a computer in their room, and i watch them like hawks when they are on it.
i know it seems stupid me talking about "my black neighbor" , but that is really all the very personal experience that i've had beings as my area is mostly white. i'm glad that i fell in love with our house, and he happens to be next to us. i'm so glad that my kids have the experience to see that black people are normal everyday people, and will hopefully wonder what they hell people are talking about if/when they encounter racism. :)

[deleted account]

Oh, that's okay! But still, one person vs. a culture of people makes a difference.

And I want to reiterate that I agree that kids aren't going to notice a difference...on their own. And asking why someone is a different color doesn't necessarily warrant an entire discussion on racism and history. But when they notice someone being TREATED differently because of their race (or any reason) then perhaps a discussion on racism is appropriate. So far the most part, I agree with ya. I just can't imagine E going through life and never encountering a racist attitude, so I've already prepared for the discussion.

Rosie - posted on 08/13/2010

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my bio dad wasn't good to me, but i'm talking about my step dad-the man who raised me. as much as i love him, he is a racist,homophobic ass. sorry i always call him my dad-confusing sometimes, lol!

[deleted account]

Well you are a good person, Kati. That's what makes the difference. =) If I remember correctly though, your dad was not a good person towards you. So perhaps anything he thought, you automatically thought the opposite. I don't know...just speculating here. But imagine growing up with a loving father (or grandparents in my case) that used racial terms. These are people that wouldn't say or do anything to harm me in anyway. Then they say something negative about another person. Confusing? Yes, it can be. Also, I remember a black girl being picked on in first grade, because she was black. Because my parents had taken the time to explain things (remember my kindergarten experience?), I knew it was wrong. See, here it is just so ingrained in the culture. It's more than one person spewing off negativity, and there is a large population of people being hurt by it. The culture is changing, thank God, but we are still not where we need to be.

Jane - posted on 08/13/2010

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I actually DID have to have discussions with my kids through out their lives about race (and religion, sexual orientation, etc). Reason being is I grew up in New York and Los Angeles....both very diverse environments. I formed my own beliefs with regards to race that all men (and women :) are created equal and the color of ones skin does not determine the good or bad in a person. THEN, my job transferred to Colorado in 1992. My kids are 20 and almost 17 now but I live in a VERY white environment (I am caucasian) and I did NOT want my kids to think that where I live is the norm. I wanted them to understand that people come in all different shapes, sizes, colors, backgrounds, religions, sexual preferences, etc. I wanted them to form opinions of people based on their personalities and values rather than what their outside appearance was. And I did a good job at it. They are such amazing individuals who are kind, generous, thoughtful and loving. They have friends of all races, religions...they have gay friends, handicapped friends, etc. They accept people for the inside. I'm so proud of them!

Rosie - posted on 08/13/2010

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all i know is MY experience sara.:) from my perspective, my father was/is a racist asshole. i'm sorry if i am about to offend some people, but i heard the term "porch monkey" too many damn times to count. i also have heard the term homo, and fag thrown around for gay people. i didn't have one single black person in my school throughout my entire kindergarten through 12th grade. not one. so one would come to the conclusion using the logic that if one has racist parents and isn't properly explained the differences, and weren't around many black people, then i would grow up to be just like my dad. but it's not like that for me. i remember sitting there wondering what made these people "porch monkeys" , and why my dad made them out to be different than me. i just didn't get it, it never made sense. so for me, i don't like the idea of pointing out differences. even though my father did it negatively and not positively, but i still didn't notice anything until HE BROUGHT IT UP. up until then black people were just people with darker skin. not anything else.

Jenny - posted on 08/13/2010

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If you don't tell them any different a child who sees someone of a different colour won't see any difference or need an explanation most of the time. I believe most kids would just think there goes another person if they are on their radar to begin with. None of the kids I know ever mention race or skin colour at all. If it's a child, it's just someone else to play with.

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 08/13/2010

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If a child is around an array of people then no…you don’t really need to bring it up, unless they ask, because to them that is normal…just like a parent who uses cuss words every other word, that too becomes normal for a child. Or a parent who walks around the house half naked, that too becomes normal…..so no need to discuss what’s normal…right?
some kids grow up and don’t see there first “Colored” person until the age 5, 7, 10..or whatever….And its not that the parents are racist or against different people
a child wont know to ask about race until the day they see someone who looks different then them….
in America it very much an issue and a big deal (in a positive way and a negative way)…always has been. This county has a very dark and ugly past with race

Suzette - posted on 08/13/2010

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I'm with everyone else who said that they're not bringing it up unless there is a NEED to bring it up. And I come from a very racially mixed family. My father's side is hispanic, I have african-american on that side of my family, on my mom's side it's german, irish, cherokee, choktaw. Husband is french, german, portuguese... and hell I can't remember what else. LOL. I know there's more from my Dad's side and from my husband's, but I can't remember all of them. So we're very mixed, not to mention what friends we have together. (We're military, so imagine how many people we know that are different.)

The point is to point all that out to a child, to explain all that and why it's SO different when they're not noticing, I don't see the point. If she asks me about something, I'll explain it, until then I'm going to let her be happy being her in a very mixed world with loving family and friends. ;)

LOL Sharon, I've never seen race made such a big deal out of either... until people started throwing hissy fits over the immigration laws recently. ;) Different debate, sorry!

.

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 08/12/2010

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@Sara you said it for me! thanks,,,,,i agree with ya ;-)

[deleted account]

Kids don't think anything of it, true. Unless their parents are idiotic racists. Then all the kids go to school together. Or they hear a racists remark from an older family member. I'm not making up my experiences. I'm not exaggerating. I wish I was. The problem I see is much more than kids noticing differences. The problem is seeing other people not treated as equal because of the differences. You can't explain that without going into the history behind it.

Valerie - posted on 08/12/2010

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Most of my daughter's friends are biracial, and her daycare is a biracial family. It was always a non-issue to her so we left it that way. Once she asked a friend of ours "what colour are you?" so candidly and sweetly, and he answered "I'm black" and she said "you look more brownish. I have brown pants on and I have brown hair".

We're here to guide our kids to see the world with truth, and for this issue, they are more colour-blind than any of us and we should take cues from them and not the other way around.

Charlie - posted on 08/12/2010

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nope i dont feel the need my family is mixed grandma is black (Tongan) , grand father is white , i am what my fiance calls chocolate lol i call it Mocha and their daddy is white .

Im sure one day they will want to know why we have different skin and i will tell them without making a big deal of it .

I believe people are people , we are indigenous to the same planet , i hope that rubs off on them .

[deleted account]

I take it back. We did 'discuss' race the first time my girls noticed that the maintenance man at our old building was black, but they were 2 or 3 at the time and already knew it was cuz that's how God made him. :)

I'm sure there will come a day when some ignorant jerk calls them 'stupid f'ing haoles', but it's no worse/better than the kids around here half their age cussing them out and threatening to beat them up. :(

My problem is trying to find a way to get them to stop using 'ugly' or 'fat'. They aren't doing it to be mean. Just trying to point out that it doesn't matter what a person looks like, but what's on the inside that counts. I still can't get them to stop using those words in their descriptions though. I 'think' they only use them when talking to me now... thankfully.

[deleted account]

Cathy, the reason I specified you was because you said, ".UNLESS parents are projecting their own negativity onto their children." Most of what I said was in general to the conversation. And yes, I do agree that we are all people. Race shouldn't matter. But the sad fact is, I live in a place where it does. I can't protect my daughter from racists attitudes. I come in contact with them very frequently, so I know that it will be something that comes up. In a perfect world, it wouldn't. And I happen to believe that the best way to combat these racist attitudes that are prevalent here is to educate, talk about it. Sorry if it seemed like I was singling you out. That wasn't my intention.

Joanna - posted on 08/12/2010

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We don't address race, because where I live there is every race present, so my daughter is growing up used to seeing everyone in every different shape, size, and color. We just treat everyone the same. If she has questions/comments when we get older about race, we'll discuss it now, otherwise we have no problems. She plays with the neighbor kids who are white, Indian, and half Indian/half black, and there's never been any mention of skin color or even the culture/language/dress differences. I'm glad it's that way :)

Lyndsay - posted on 08/12/2010

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I have a three year old son and so far we haven't discussed race. Everyone in my family is white, although we live in city housing and its a very multicultural survey. He spent two years in an in-home childcare setting, one of the ladies was Pakistani and the other was Asian. He knows there are different people out there, but in the end we are all just people.

[deleted account]

@Cathy, parents are not the be all end all of what a child experiences. When racism is deeply rooted into your history and society, it's hard to ignore race. I understand it's not like that in all areas of the world. In my particular area though, it's something that is still an issue. So it will come up, whether or not I bring it up. My daughter will encounter racist attitudes in school, and heck even from our own family. So it is something we will discuss and work to find a better understanding of. That is really the only solution to solving the problem that I can see.

Brandy - posted on 08/12/2010

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I agree with Kati. It shouldn't really need to be brought up unless there is a question about it. If they don't notice a difference, that's awesome because there is no difference, we are all just people. However, I do think it would be nice for my kids to learn about all the different cultures in the world.

Jenny - posted on 08/12/2010

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No, I don't. People are people. My kids have seen people all over the colour spectrum and don't look at them any differently. I told my daughter years ago pigment determines skin colour and that's as much as she cared to know. No need to add anything else really.

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 08/12/2010

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Of course people are people and they should be treated the same, but when you are around only a certain group of people and the day your kids do see someone who does not look like them they will think “they are dirty, or not good, or weird looking (and of course it will be innocent on there part because they are children, but why not prepare them…you may take a trip one day and they see a actual brown person and they wont be so shocked….I don’t mean sit the kid down to have the “Race” talk like you would sex, but what I mean is do you explain to your kids (the ones that understand) that there are people that look different then them, that one day they may see a person that looks brown, tan, or actually black…showing them pictures…so that way when they do see someone who is different they are not following them in a store or staring so hard as if the person has a disfigurement….

Jessica - posted on 08/12/2010

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I think it really depends on where you live. Where I live race isnt' really a big deal at all, people are all just people, regardless of there skin color. Sure you still get the few random racists, but they are not tolerated. I can understand that in places around the world this is not the case and that type of conversation will be needed with kids, but with my munchkin, it won't be brought up til she has questions because it's not really an issue here.

Rosie - posted on 08/12/2010

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no. people are people regardless of their color. it's as different to me as hair or eye color, and that's never brought up so why should skin color?
now if my children ask, i will certainly explain the differences, but i actually feel that pointing it out makes it more "different" than it should be. my neighbor is a black man who has mixed kids. my 10 year old and 5 year old have not once asked why his skin is darker or why his kids skin is darker. i like it that way. why should they care? does it make any difference to them if he's dark and they are light? no, all they care about is that he plays football with them, and gives them popsiscles, and drinks.
now in your situation i can see explaining the different parts of your child to him. they need to know where they come from. but other than that, i feel it's completely unneccesary.

[deleted account]

We don't really talk about race. Everyone is a person regardless of what they look like on the outside. That goes for color, shape, and size. That is what we talk about.

Tah - posted on 08/12/2010

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I sure do, because we experience racism..my 13 year old has been called a nigger, so it is absolutely something that is discussed in our home...and i think there is a need to discuss it in the home because once our children reach a certain age, very little influence comes from inside the home, we discuss everything in our home so that when my children step outside these doors they have something to stand on and for so they dont fall for just anything...

Tanya - posted on 08/12/2010

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If my LO has any question I will be sure to answer them. I grew up in a very small town that is 99 % white. When I was four I saw a black little girl at the super market. I followed her around and asked my mom why she was different. I think I embarrassed my mom. We live in a mush bigger city so I don't think it will be a problem.

True story: Last year at Thanksgiving my grand parents who still live in the same small town were talking about where they used to work. My grandmother said to my grandfather, " Do you remember that negro lady that worked with us?"

He said, " You can't call them Negros anymore they are coloreds now."
They honestly didn't mean anything by it. They really just don't know any better. If we still live in a place like that I would try my best to explain different races to him.

Tracey - posted on 08/12/2010

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We don't talk about race, but we do talk about all kinds of discrimination and why they are wrong.

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No..not as of yet.I have a nearly six year old and she doesnt ask any questions and doesnt see anything different as in to ask me why anything..so i dont have a need to say anything.She loves all different cultures and is fascinated in the indian culture and loves to talk about India and there clothes Sari's.We have many woman and children who moved to our area who wear there amazing bright sari's etc..and shes taken a great liking to there culture.She plays with many children from all walks of life and asks no questions and loves her friends..she sees nothing that would cause for explanation which is excellent.

Brandy - posted on 08/12/2010

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We have started a little bit. My daughter is only 2 but the other day, she came over while I was on the computer, about to check my email and the yahoo news popped up and it was a story about Dennis Rodman and she looked at the screen and said "He sure is dirty, hey mommy?"

And I explained that no, he isn't dirty, he just has very nice, beautiful, dark skin. The area we live in is just starting to become more multicultural but most people here are still caucasian. I'm hoping there are more different races around us soon, so my kids can learn about them.

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Being that there is a long history of racial tension where I live, I don't doubt that the topic will come up when Eliza is older. Unfortunatley, a lot of the older generation, and some of the younger, still hold tightly to those prejudiced. We are not that far removed from the KKK's height of popularity. Some people use racial slurs as everyday language or refer to something as being, "white" or "black". So the issue will come up. When it does, we will do like Mary Elizabeth said...".I will make sure that my children understand the issues of Race, Poverty, Racism, and Classism in the USA..." There's no reason to pretend these things don't exist or affect us.

Lindsay - posted on 08/12/2010

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We have had only one "talk" about race. Madeline's best little friend at daycare was black and my kids are white. She'd been friends with this little girl since they were about 19 months old when she started daycare but when she was about 2 1/2 she asked me why Kamya had a brown face and she had a pink face. We talked about how it takes a mommy and daddy to make a baby and then the baby has both of them in it. So since Kamya is the color of her mommy and daddy, just like she is the color like her mommy and daddy. We went on to say that if the mommy and daddy are different colors then the baby gets some of each. She accepted that answer and it has never been brought up again. We have a very diverse group of friends so they have also always been exposed to different races. It's pretty much a non issue in our house.

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My son is only 10 months old but when he is older I will discuss race as it is part of our heritage - My Great Great Grandad came to the UK on a banana boat (actually happened I'm not joking) after the slave trade was abolished in the US - he was from Ohio and was black (nan's side) then on my Grandads side we have Polish and Indian (from India) relatives, on top of that I have a mixed cousin as my auntie married a black man (Jamaican/ British blend). So it will definately come up and I will tell my son with pride about our ancestry and how it does not matter what people look like on the outside it is about how they treat you and their personality.

Tara - posted on 08/12/2010

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We don't talk about race much, mostly because there is no need. They have met many people of other ethnic backgrounds, they don't ask questions because they don't need to. They know there is nothing different about anyone who doesn't look the same as they do, EXCEPT that they don't look the same as they do.
That's pretty much it. They have never acted like there is any difference and therefore I have not had to tell them to be respectful, kind, etc. to people who are different than themselves. They are respectful and kind to everyone! Skin colour or physical attributes aside, it makes no difference to them nor does it to me or our family.
Tara

Stifler's - posted on 08/12/2010

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My kid doesn't talk yet but when he does I don't know if I would be bothered. Our family is all white. If they ask I'll explain.

ME - posted on 08/12/2010

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Not yet...but mine are babies...I will make sure that my children understand the issues of Race, Poverty, Racism, and Classism in the USA...

Louise - posted on 08/12/2010

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I have three children and have never had to have the chat about race as my older sons now 19 and 16 never asked. My sons have just always excepted that people have different coloured skin tones, eye colour etc. They have never asked me why there friends have different religions and celebrate different holidays to us. It is normal to them. I have worked in schools that teach from primary school acceptance of others faiths and beliefs. Even though we live in a predominantly white area my 21 month old daughter has made friends with a little girl who happends to be black girl and they are just fascinated with each others hair. Her mum and I think they are going to be great friends and look forward to many years of playing hairdressing and dress up. It really does not matter in this day and age what colour your skin is. If you are a nice person, does it matter what colour you are!

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