Does my two year old daughter call an adult friend... Anne? Aunt Anne? Mrs. Raveret? Ms. Anne?

Jenn - posted on 01/03/2011 ( 20 moms have responded )




My daughter is almost two years old and is now easily remembering my (adult) friends, their names, and details of their visits. Cute! But I'm not sure what she should call my girlfriends or other adults. If a close friend we usually do "Auntie Anne." But what about if a more casual friend, acquaintance, or work friend? I'm not hugely formal myself, but need a go-to solution. Ideas?


[deleted account]

I have one gripe. I HATE it when people refer to their friends as "aunt" or "uncle".....they are NOT their aunts and uncles. It takes away from that and drives me nuts. Sorry...


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Elfrieda - posted on 04/23/2011




I'm taking a parenting class, and they say do the Mr/Mrs/Ms thing unless the person objects. For babysitters, do the Miss (first name) thing. The teachers are very keen on it, they say it shows respect.

It feels weird to me, but I'm going to try it once my 16-month-old starts talking. I don't feel like I'm a Mrs. Last Name, I'm just Elfrieda, but on the other hand, I'm not a big fan of little kids calling me by my first name either, especially if they're a little bratty. :)

For us, even though we're not very formal people, we've decided that first we'll call other adults Mr/Mrs/Ms when talking to our children, and if they object, tell them we are just trying to teach our son to be respectful and ask what they would like him to call them instead. My son has 7 aunts and 7 uncles, so adding more people to that list is just not going to happen.

Oh, and I don't think your daughter will be confused if you say, "honey, from now on you can call Tara Mrs Foster instead." I think she'll just roll with it. When I was 4 I kept calling both of my grandmas "Mom" because that's what my parents called them! :) (my mom was "mommy") They just sat me down and explained that I have a special name to call them, Oma and Grandma, and I was cool with that, especially since my cousins called them that, too.

[deleted account]

We do Miss or Mister first name.

Aunt and Uncle are for family members, but we do call adult cousins Aunt or Uncle First Name just because it is too difficult to teach all the kids who is an aunt/uncle and who is a cousin, so we just stick with Aunt or Uncle.....except for grandparents.

If they have a doctorate, we say Doctor First Name.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 04/23/2011




I like doing Ms. and then the first name. Semi formal. As for close friends of the family who are always around and very involved, Aunt is fine.

User - posted on 04/22/2011




I often opt for the more formal unless someone corrects me. Sometimes I ask the adult "What do you prefer to be called by children? Our go to is Mr. or Mrs. but let me know what you prefer!". Most people say "either" which leads me to the more formal. Close friends will say "First name please!". I get the sense that your daughter is brilliant, in which case she should decide herself. :)

[deleted account]

Depends on the culture and what the adult in question prefers. Over here just about everyone other than teachers and doctors is referred to as Auntie/Uncle, so that's all I know. ;)

Jackie - posted on 01/04/2011




We usually do Uncle or Auntie So-and So for close friends. Not-so-close friends, I usually do Miss or Mister So and So but use the first names. like Miss Kristen or Mr Brian.

Esther - posted on 01/04/2011




I'm personally not a fan of kids calling adults by their first name. I'm old fashioned like that. Like you for good friends (don't have to be bffs but good friends nonetheless) we go with aunt & uncle. For people who are more like acquaintances we go with Mr. or Mrs. or "Ethan's dad" etc.

LaCi - posted on 01/03/2011




I Call my two close cousins aunt and uncle, because we've always been so close they FEEL like my actual siblings. We've been together constantly our entire lives, and since we're all only children (I'm essentially an only child) we just ended up with that kind of bond.

My friends, I call them by their first names. I guess it depends on what they prefer, but I can't see any of my friends wanting to be called Mr. X or Miss T.

It might depend on where you are, you can always start with Mrs. X and they'll let you know if the first name is preferred.

[deleted account]

Whatever the person wants to be refered to as. I asked my parents and my in-laws what they prefered to be called. They chose. Worked for me. Otherwise, I introduce people by their names to my 2 year old. My friend Gina's nickname is Weiner and that's what my daughter calls her. She refers to my other friend by her first name too.

Laura - posted on 01/03/2011




We always grew up by calling people by their first names which got really confusing for my friends because my mom is a teacher in a small town so when they got her as a teacher they didn't know what to call her :) I think you need to go by what your friends want. We also called our Grandparents by their first names (Grandma Emily and Grandma Irene) and do that with my kids now to because it seems like you get to know them better and it just seems more personal.

Jenn - posted on 01/03/2011




I would leave it up to the friend to decide what they would like to be called. Some people might prefer a more formal name like Mrs. Jones while others would feel old if someone called them that and would just like to be called Jane.

Johnny - posted on 01/03/2011




I think it really depends on the culture where you live. I know in some places it is customary to use Sir or Ma'am, in others Mr. & Mrs. and some places do the Auntie & Uncle thing. Where I live, almost all the kids I know just call adults (aside from teachers) by their first names and it's been that way since I was a kid. No one seems to think much of it unless they've come from somewhere else.

[deleted account]

As for hubby's friends, Julie's gonna have two uncles and everyone else she gets to call "mister" whoever, haha. I don't have any girl friends that I'd bother with the "auntie" bit.

[deleted account]

Eh, mister and miss always worked for me when I was little. If I knew them through the family I said Miss Anne or Mister Bill. If they weren't close, I went by the last name. It's not formal, just a bit more respectful in my opinion. Easy go-to thing, I think. Just safer that way, especially with older people. Around where I live, they aren't too charmed by kids who don't say mister and missus. (but "missus" is silly to me, haha, seems too old xD)

Becky - posted on 01/03/2011




I'm never sure with this one either. For close friends, we go with Auntie and Uncle, but for others, we usually end up going with just their first names. I sometimes do "Miss" first name, but I'm not very consistent with it.

Nicole - posted on 01/03/2011




I have my kids call my friends by their first names. If you have a friend who you think might prefer to be addressed more formally by a child, you could always ask them.

It's challenging because they are going to call them what they hear you calling them. If you call someone Beth but they want to be called Mrs. Thomas by children, you might end having to call them Mrs.Thomas as well

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