donating eggs

Isobel - posted on 03/04/2010 ( 17 moms have responded )

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I, for one, can not imagine donating eggs (I am far too attached to the children I have AND would be worried about who ended up with any future ones)

My question is this...do you think that it's fair that only women under 30 (many of whom don't yet understand parenthood) are accepted to be donors?

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Patricia - posted on 03/08/2010

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Why is it that those that shouldn't be parents, have more than they can handle and those that truly want a child to love can't? I believe that there are a lot of children out there now that need a loving home....I myself would rather adopt a child only because they too need a loving family environment more than a child that isn't even here yet. Not to mention, if you don't know who is receiving your eggs, you take that risk of maybe a connection later in life...like if they live in the same state and have a son, it is not unlikely that this son could meet your daughter and how are they to know that in a sense they are related...which could cause issues later..I understand that almost every woman wants a "BABY" but why not adopt? Now, what pisses me off is those that determine their child's sex..and unless you are having serious issues, I do not believe in using an ultra sound for the wrong reasons...like to see if a child has a handicap of some sort..some people could not handle this. I look at it this way...what if an existing healthy child gets into a bad accident and is a vegetable or something...are you going to kill it? I would certainly hope not! It is God's way.....

Jennifer - posted on 03/07/2010

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Interesting, if I donated an egg, I don't think I would feel like it was my child. It would be the other woman's child. I never was interested in going through the procedures to donate an egg, despite the monetary rewards.

And, yes, of course it's totally fair for only women under 30 to donate eggs - like the other posters said, for medical reasons.

Jocelyn - posted on 03/07/2010

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In Canada you are not paid either. And in Alberta the drugs that you need to take in order to harvest eggs are not covered (I'm not sure about other provinces tho). I have looked into it, and I think that once my kids are in school full time, and I have some extra money saved up I am going to actually go thru with it. But from what I understand it is harder to donate if you don't have someone specifically in mind to donate to :S

Rosie - posted on 03/07/2010

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i would think that the age of the eggs does matter in invitro, so the younger the better. i personally couldn't do it, i would drive myself crazy thinking about where my child was, and if she was happy or just anything about her. i couldn't stand it, i admire someone who actually could do that.

Sunny - posted on 03/07/2010

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Esther.... just replying in Australia you cant be paid and as of this moment im still working on my own family, im 21 and as soon as i have my family complete im more than happy to donate. I dont know where your from but here it is not made easy, most of the time the receivers of the eggs will reimburse you for your medical bills and travel expensive, im sure plenty more women would donate if you were paid but to me it wouldnt be the reason i would give my eggs.

Esther - posted on 03/07/2010

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Just curious - for those of you who have said you would donate an egg - why haven't you? It pays pretty well. Would you only do it for someone you know?

Sunny - posted on 03/07/2010

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I am 21 and have an almost 3 year old son and have openly stated that i would donate my eggs or be a surrogate mother for friends or family members, there's no better or cherished gift than a child.

Jocelyn - posted on 03/05/2010

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I think it's totally fair to put an age restriction on the woman whose eggs are being donated. Eggs get older just like the woman and as the eggs get older their "quality" (I guess that's a good way to describe it) goes down. The risk of Downs (and other issues) goes up with age. I would totally donate eggs. I couldn't be a surrogate; I wouldn't be able to give up the child that I had carried for 9 months. But I could definitely give an egg. It would be biologically related to me, but it wouldn't be MY child. It would be the woman who carried it. Make sense?

La - posted on 03/05/2010

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BTW, being an egg donor at the age of 23, I found the experience to be emotionally rewarding. I'm glad I had the opportunity to help someone else become a mother. I have my own children now and could not imagine how heart broken I would feel if I could not concieve myself or could not get around the "red tape" that I hear comes with adoption.

La - posted on 03/05/2010

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I think it is perfectly fair to put age restrictions on donors. If I was paying lots of money on a gamble as to whether it will end in a pregnancy, I would want to make sure I had the best chances possible of becoming and staying pregnant...which means younger, healthier eggs.

Mary - posted on 03/05/2010

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Jennie, please know that I don't mean this rudely, but it is only the women who have never experienced infertility who think, "why not just adopt?".



I went through 5 years of unexplained infertility in my first marriage, involving 3 IUI's and 5 IVF's. While egg production or quality was never my issue ( & I got pregnant immediately, without conscious effort when I remarried), I know that if it had been, I would have been grateful for the opportunity to use a donated egg. For me, it never had a whole lot to do with my own DNA...a big part of it was the whole experience of pregnancy and childbirth. Most girls grow up believing that this a part of our inherent "right" or gift of womanhood. Trust me, you take a serious hit to your sense of self esteem, and overall identity as a woman when this is something you cannot attain. It is an ache, a longing....the closest I can liken it too is someone who loses a limb.

For me, I had to try every option and avenue available to me before I could accept that I could never carry a child, and be accepting of the concept of adoption. And then my ex was not receptive to that...for him, it WAS about passing on his DNA (which, sadly for him, was most likely the problem to begin with).



One of the disadvantages of all of the advances in reproductive technology is that it does make it a bit harder for many women to come to this level of acceptance, and consider adoption as an alternative means of becoming a mother. It gives us a degree of hope that woman did not have 50 years ago. Unfortunately, it just prolongs the agony and disappointment for a fair number of us as well.



Since the actual success rates with IVF really aren't that high (only 30-40%), I think that they must do everything possible to maximize a couple's chances...and this means younger, "fresher" eggs. I for one am glad that there are women willing to do this, whatever their motivation may be. It provides hope and opportunity to somone who might otherwise have none, and, possibly, the ulitimate miracle of pregnancy, and a new life to nuture and love from the minute of conception through forever. I feel even more strongly about this now, having been blessed with a little miracle of my own.

Jenny - posted on 03/05/2010

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Oh right, the other 50% of the DNA lol. Makes sense.



I do understand the pregnancy part. I never, ever wanted my own kids but wanted to experience pregnancy. I was convinced that I would be a surrogate. It's a good thing my BC failed or I would have really missed out on the good things in life.

Esther - posted on 03/05/2010

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I guess this way it can still be the husband's biological child and they can experience pregnancy, neither of which would be the case with an adoption.

Jenny - posted on 03/05/2010

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I don't understand why one would create a baby with someone else's eggs instead of adopting? I totally get the reasoning of wanting create a baby with your own DNA but if you are using someone else's anyway what is the motivation?

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Just so we're clear?.....we're talkin about annonomous donation correct? I'm not able to donate because I'm coming up on 33 but I would DEFINITELY donate my eggs! Everyone deserves a chance to be a parent and if I can help make someone's dream a reality then I would jump at the chance! I totally get why no one over the age of 30 can donate! Like anything else there needs to be guildlines and protocals in place so unfortunately that sometimes means discriminating against certain things.......they don't just make up an age........they have valid reasons for following protocal! I don't think donating my eggs is the equivalent to giving a child up for adoption! I say all this as a mother; if I wasn't a mother I think it would be even easier to donate! To me an egg is just an egg!

Lisamarie - posted on 03/05/2010

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I agree with Esther, younger women 's eggs are more fertile, no-one's wants to go through egg donation then find out it hasn't worked.

To be honest, I don't know if I would or not. I couldn't imagine somebody else raising, that would be biologically, my child. On the other hand, I think it's amazing that women can give other women a chance at being a mummy! It's the best gift in the world! :)

Esther - posted on 03/05/2010

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No I don't think that's unfair at all -I think that is just medical reality. Our eggs are fresher under 30 and therefore provide a greater chance at a successful fertilization. Would I personally consider it (if I was not too old which I am) - absolutely not. It would be like giving a child up for adoption. I could never do it.

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