Duggers ok with having #20

Morgan - posted on 09/09/2010 ( 54 moms have responded )

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What do you think?
should they have more?
are they good parents?



I personally think that they should stop, they had trouble with there last being born 3 months premature, where do you draw the line? I do think that their good parents though, the kids all "seem" happy, they have no debt and they get out and do tons of stuff.

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I don't think we should dictate how many kids a person should have. That's a personal decision.

However, if your goal is to have one conversation with each child each week, then you have too many children. That's not being a parent. That's being a manager.

Jenny - posted on 09/09/2010

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I am also morally opposed to large families. If you want 20 kids I'm ok with it, as long as you adopt 18 of them. Stop sucking the planet dry because you have too much love to give. Donate it to other kids who need it and would otherwise spend the rest of their lives in the system. Having a family that size is extremely selfish IMO and no, I don't care a spit about doing it for religious reasons. Take a damn pill already before your litter become orphans.

Krista - posted on 09/09/2010

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If it were just the parenting/attention issue, I'd have no problem with it. It's their business.

However, I do think that this last baby's ill health and severe prematurity should be a wake-up call for them. I think it would be extremely risky and foolhardy for them to try for another child at this point, and wish that they would see Josie's prematurity as their god saying to them, "Okay lady -- that's enough out of you!"

Tara - posted on 09/11/2010

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@Heather,
From what I have read about them and what I have seen of them, they do spend time with their parents, they all spend time together all the time. They are homeschooled, run business and real estate ventures together and take part in almost all activities as a group/family.
It seems to me that their children are all self-aware, self-confident and well loved people. If they weren't feeling loved they certainly wouldn't be able to express the love, patience and tolerance they do when dealing with all their younger siblings.
I'm not a religious person but I do admire their faith and sense of family.
There are so many parents who can not properly or lovingly bring their own two children up. I think if this family wants to have as many kids as they feel they are blessed to have, than who is anyone to judge them?

Jacquie - posted on 09/10/2010

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There are a lot of reasons she shouldn't have more children, but I'll tell you this- her having 20 and raising them to be responsible, good natured, and respectful people is a hell of a lot better then a lot of people I know with two, three, or four, raising future prison inmates and Bratz dolls.

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54 Comments

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ME - posted on 09/22/2010

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Please stop Duggers...My parents raised five children, and that was difficult for them...even though my mom stayed home with us for 17 years, and they were/are incredibly good people/parents...19 is too many...they should have stopped having children ages ago!

Sarah - posted on 09/22/2010

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I love the Duggars, but I think for the sake of her health, she should stop at 19! The risks of complications increase the more children you have, the closer you have them together, and your maternal age. She meets every one of those criteria. With 19 children (and the last one being 3 months premature) she needs to realize that something serious could potentially happen to her & then those 19 children wouldn't have their mother. I think all the Duggar children are very cute & well behaved & I love keeping up with them, but I think it's time to stop.

[deleted account]

I think it's ridiculous to have that many children, But if thats what they want to do so be it.
She should consider her health though and the health of her babies. With age comes more risks.

Shea - posted on 09/22/2010

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I am very opinionated on bringing children into this world. I think there are numerous things to take into consideration before bringing a new life into this world. With that being said, I would think that 19 is enough. Especially when factoring in all of the complications with the latest edition to their family. Health is key in pregnancy for mother and child. It's the closest we as women come to death. My question is why risk loosing your life, hence robbing your other 19 children of a mother; not whether they should have another , but is it safe to. Or why giving the complications with baby 19 would you put another life at risk to either suffer from deformities, retardation or at the very worst death.

Tracey - posted on 09/12/2010

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I would like to put Mr Dugger through 20 labours and then see how many more kids they have.

Stifler's - posted on 09/11/2010

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I kind of agree with the people that say it's not worth the risk. They have 18 kids, she doesn't really need to risk her life to have another one.

Kate CP - posted on 09/11/2010

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My husband has made this comment about Mrs. Duggar:
"Good lord, woman! It's a vagina, not a clown car."

I guess that kind of says it all right there.

Dana - posted on 09/11/2010

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I think they need to stop, seriously. She's going to keep having premature babies at this point and risk her own life.

Heather - posted on 09/11/2010

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I would have to ask if they are really parenting their children or if they're being raised in what amounts to a commune. Not that it's neccessarliy a bad thing, but I don't really think this Mom and Dad are doing much but procreating. It seems like the other sibblings do most of the "child rearing". They dress, feed, bathe, and play with the younger children while "Mom" pops out another kid....it's her right, but come on now, no amount of money or older sibblings can take the place of a child's relationship with mom and dad.

?? - posted on 09/10/2010

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Their faith doesn't ask them to have as many children as they want. They made that choice on their own. Michelle Duggar did use birth control 20+ years ago. Birth control has come a lonnnnnnnnng way since then. She can make a choice all on her own and do that in the name of her faith too - promising to care for and love and BE THERE for ALL of her already existing children by making sure she doesn't kill herself and another baby by getting pregnant again.

JuLeah - posted on 09/10/2010

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As I understand, only the last has ever had any medical problems. All of the children are healthy.
I sure don't want anyone telling me if I can have another child.
Their faith asks them to leave the number of children in God's hands. I guess their God likes the way they parent :)

Tah - posted on 09/10/2010

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@Kate and what did you get on the how kinky are you test again?..lol....jk...it's actually not cold..probably the wrapper its in...

Kate CP - posted on 09/10/2010

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Tah: I could not imagine shoving anything fresh out of the fridge up my cooch. You are a brave woman, madame.

Stifler's - posted on 09/10/2010

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Prolapses are a thing that happens when you get old regardless lol. I used to look after oldies and tonnes of them have them.

C. - posted on 09/10/2010

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Is that what it's called? I couldn't remember the name, but I know I had heard of it. And yes, it can even happen from not having ANY children. There was this lady on Dr Phil that had never had kids and her vag started to fall out. She had to wear tampons all the time to keep it in- no lie.

Sorry, now that I think about it, it was on Dr. Phil but one of the doctors from The Doctors was on there answering women's health questions.

Stifler's - posted on 09/10/2010

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There are a lot of women out there who are having babies and can't look after them aka people who are 70 and in wheel chairs and have mental issues having babies. How the hell are they going to look after them? Yet everyone thinks it's a great idea because they have family support and all women deserve to be a mother. Pull the other one. At least this sheila is young/rich/responsible enough to look after hers.

C. - posted on 09/10/2010

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Actually, Kati.. That's not funny. I heard on the Doctors show a long time ago that there's actually a medical condition in which your vagina starts to fall out, and if your vagina falls out, I'm sure your uterus can, too.

[deleted account]

I think it's wonderful that they are able to have all the children they want & they do a great job raising them. I wish them well.

Rosie - posted on 09/10/2010

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exactly what sara said. if your lofty goal in parenthood is to have one conversation a week with each of your children, there is something HORRIBLY wrong with that. not to mention her uterus is going to fall out soon, lol!!

?? - posted on 09/10/2010

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That other couple friend of theirs, I forget what their names are, they've been on the show a few times though. That family has 18 kids too and I know that when Josie was in the hospital they said that the mom was pregnant with her 19th... The woman is the same age as Michelle. They could be talking about her expecting, or about to give birth...

Morgan - posted on 09/10/2010

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Thats why I started this post, I also saw the add and I am hopeing its not them that its Anna :)

Becky - posted on 09/10/2010

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Does anyone know if they're expecting number 20 already? I saw an ad for the show, and they were announcing, "someone's expecting..." But maybe it's Josh and Anna again, or someone else. At any rate, I agree that given that their last baby was extremely premature and Michelle had pre-e, it is irresponsible to have any more. She is risking her life and she is risking that child's life. What's more, Josie is going to require extra care and attention for at least the next year or so, possibly for the rest of her life. Mom and Dad need to focus on her. It's not fair of them to bring in another baby who needs their attention and leave their older children to be responsible for meeting Josie's extra needs.

Sara - posted on 09/10/2010

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I agree with most of you, they should stop. But I also can't help but think how irresponsible it is for Michelle to want to have more when she could have easily died during the last pregnancy. That is the definition of selfishness if you ask me, to leave 19 children without a mother because you (at an advanced maternal age = high risk) just wanted more.

Krista - posted on 09/10/2010

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Alison, that's what I'm worried about too. She's seriously pushing her luck --- who's to say that if she got pregnant again that this child would not have serious, serious developmental issues? Who's to say that this pregnancy won't kill her? She's playing Russian Roulette with her own health, and I think it's extremely foolhardy, considering the fact that she does have this gigantic family who needs her.

C. - posted on 09/10/2010

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Well, in response to Anika's questions ("How much quality time can they give each kid? What are their individual relationships like?")..

They don't watch things like TV and they are limited to other activities like computer and such.. They actually spend a lot of time as a family and they do have one on one time with their kids as well. Cutting out unnecessary electronics is probably where they get all of their family time. How can someone question how good a parent is when the family spends time with each other practically all the time?? I think they are actually doing a much better job than most of those who only have one or two children.

[deleted account]

I don't think anyone has the right to tell a couple how many children they can have. That being said, I don't think it's an ideal situation to have 19 (or possibly more) children. I don't care if they can afford them. Having money doesn't make you a good parent. How much quality time can they give each kid? What are their individual relationships like? How can they even remember all their names!? :) Personally, I think they're being irresponsible, especially considering the premmie. Though, she's no where near the world record for one mother. That's 69! Can you imagine that!? SIXTY NINE!! My uterus hurts just thinking about it :)

C. - posted on 09/09/2010

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That's true, Emma.. But with what happened with the last baby, I think it'd be pretty wise to not have another. At least for a while (and by that time she might not be able to have another anyway due to age).

Stifler's - posted on 09/09/2010

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They are good parents. They have enough money and their kids are all taught responsibilities and look after each other and aren't spoiled little shits.

[deleted account]

They are good parents, but I think she's a bit too old t keep having babies with the number of kids she already has. She's also had 3 C-sections and it's not reccomended to have 4. What if she needs a fourth C-section with baby #20? My main concern would be for her health and how her 19 existing kids would get by without her if anything went wrong. .

Lyndsay - posted on 09/09/2010

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I hate them. They need to stop reproducing. They don't even take care of their own children past infancy... as soon as she's pregnant again, the previous addition gets passed off to the older kids.

Tah - posted on 09/09/2010

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I believe in God and the bible and every month i go in the fridge take out my birth control..nuva ring to be exact and insert(sorry for the graphics)....and now that i think about it, i have one left and need to call the doctor asap for another years supply..i have 3 and am good with that...i def. think they need to take into account what happened with the last pregnancy and stop...

C. - posted on 09/09/2010

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I agree that they seem like they are good parents and everything.. And I agree that if they can provide for their children, they shouldn't be limited with how many they can have.

With that being said, when the last baby was born 3 months premature and the mother had severe pre eclampsia, preventative measures should have been taken to ensure that she would not get pregnant again b/c it could have killed both of them the last time. Honestly, I think it's getting a little ridiculous if they get pregnant again and should have learned their lesson with the last baby being born at 1 1/2 pounds.

Janessa - posted on 09/09/2010

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I dislike them every much those kinds of people are like my crazy sister in law. Everything has to do with "God" so that means they cannot think for themselves? She also is on her 7th child. I came from a big family i hated having a big family. My parents had 3 and adoptive 4 including i am thankful they adopted me. But i wished that there would had less of us because we hardly had time with them. My parents were always busy and we had to take care of the younger kids and i already did not have a childhood. I think it is very selfish she pumps them kids out and make her older kids take care of the younger ones and it seems that those kids do not have a life outside of they family. All they do is talk about christian bullshit. They career is pumping out kids i think allot of people who have allot of kids have nothing to do better to do as in career so they can only have kids as they telent.

Tara - posted on 09/09/2010

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If they want more children than who is to say they shouldn't have any more? If it were myself I would not have any more based on the premature birth of Josie. No one can say for sure if her number of pregnancies had anything to do with the early arrival but I imagine it did.
However that said, if they want more I am sure that baby will be loved and cared for the same was as the other ones. If I had the money and the space and resources to do it, I would have had more than my 6.
Not 19 but probably 8.
Tara

Tanya - posted on 09/09/2010

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I think that they should stop. They are so sneaking. We had a thread about them a while ago. I went to the Duggars page on TLC. Some one had asked if they spank. The article never really says one way or the other.

Johnny - posted on 09/09/2010

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Well, I am morally opposed to the concept of having that many kids, so yes, I think they should stop. The kids they have do seem well adjusted, happy, decently educated, etc. It does seem that they somehow manage to give them all the love they need. But I oppose it on other principals, so it doesn't matter to me how happy the kids are or how well her pregnancy goes. I do not think more kids would be acceptable.

Isobel - posted on 09/09/2010

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I think that was their first or second one though...

I feel pretty strongly about other people's rights to do what they want to do, but if it were me, I would wait to see exactly what special needs this last one is going to have before I raced out and tried again...but that's just me.

?? - posted on 09/09/2010

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When the Duggars were married in 1984 (she was 17 and he was 19), they didn’t want children immediately, feeling they could not afford them. After four years, Michelle stopped taking birth control pills to have their first child, then went back on birth control after giving birth.



When she got pregnant anyway only to suffer a miscarriage, which they attribute to the birth control pills, the couple felt that they had taken a child’s life. They prayed for forgiveness and for as many children as God decided to give them.



http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/20134584







And that was the start of the endless amounts of babies.

Joanna - posted on 09/09/2010

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I'd hope they'd keep Josie in mind when pursuing another pregnancy, because each pregnancy is going to probably be more and more high risk... that little girl probably suffered a bit being so premature and ill from digestion issues, so I don't know why they'd want to put another child through that. But who is anyone to say if they should have more kids or not, or if they're good parents or not. They do what they like for their family, and from the couple episodes I've seen of the show, their family is loved/loving, happy, well-mannered, etc.

?? - posted on 09/09/2010

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Irresponsible is the only word that comes to mind when I hear them saying they'd welcome another pregnancy.

You'd think, with them already having lost 1 baby, they wouldn't want to risk killing another baby by being irresponsible and getting pregnant again knowing the high risk of that pregnancy not going full term and putting another child through hell before it was even meant to be out of the womb.


They should leave the rest of the baby making up to the kids. Josh and Anna can have 19 more now and Michelle and Jim Bob should retire from humping.

Louise - posted on 09/09/2010

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As long as they are being parents providing love and support to their children then what is the harm. They are paying all there bills and not relying on government hand outs so they are not sponging off the state. I can not imagine being able to have a strong relationship wih that many children as you would never get a minute to yourself, that is a shame and the fact that the children are all involved heavily with doing the chores. The laundry alone is never ending. Personally I stopped at 3 as I had no more time to devote to being a mother that I wanted to be, for them it seems the norm. What right do I have to say what they can do with their life. All I can say is maybe they should sell lines of aphrodisiacs as they certainly don't seem to of gone off each other in all these years! :-0

Sharon - posted on 09/09/2010

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I just honestly don't see how the kids can be fulfilled with such tiny amounts of parental affection. I know their parents love them. But it just boggles my mind that they've had all these kids and one high needs child and they have no issue with bringing another infant into the mix.

But considering their religion they can't really say anything else can they? All their kids are gifts from god and he dictates how many children they have, not them. Right? I'm pretty sure thats what they've said.

[deleted account]

It's up to them. the kids don't seem neglected so sure go ahead. I would be a little more scared to have number 20 after having a premature baby and some pregnancy complications but she can do what she wants.

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